#theraptsd

(start of session)

Therapist: So just to let you know, I'm out next week so we can't meet

Me: That's fine (yessssssss I don't have to go next week)

Me an Hour later: So on top of all, everything has been garbage. THAT is why every trigger is up and I'm SO IN LOVE with all the garbage I'm currently involved.

Therapist:

Therapist:

Therapist: ...

Therapist: SO what's your availability next week? Also twice a week maybe a good idea? Let's definitely talk about that.

Don’t reblog

I’ve been trying to sleep for an hour.

I have a million things to do (most of the notes for the last forever AS A START). I have to {insert difficult work thing} and im dreeeeaaaading it. I’m on planning comittee that I have spent zero time on (legit it’s a month out and I’ve not even LOOKED at what I need to do sooooooo) and don’t really have the energy to take on since the kiddo died. I have therapy tomorrow and like every week for the last three, I don’t want to go but shit’s gonna be hard. I’m going to go - I’m just not happy about it.

And within the last week, I had a person spend a whole flight literally sitting on top of me, I got super triggered and cried the whole flight, had to see my abusive mother who act just like always and threw a fucking temper tantrum because we (including children) didn’t want to go get dinner with her at 10pm when the kids had school the next day, found out that she hasn’t changed *at all* and if anything her behavior has gotten worse as folks have individuated. Found out she’s doing the same things she did to me to others and that it’s really fucking bad. The fact that she’s doing it AGAIN makes me so angry I can’t see straight. She’s so lucky I found out about this after I saw her because if she’s afraid that everyone will hate her — SHE’D HAVE NO FUCKING DOUBT if I knew then what I know now. I can be much more forgiving if she’s not actively trying to destroy kids but NOPE had to do option two. I had to talk to my partner about the distinct possibility that some of these kids will come live with us while my partner had the flu. My car broke down and I missed a flight. I cried to the airline lady. I have heard the most ridiculous shit from white people (including friends) and I’m 100% over this bullshit. I’ve also seen some of the most ableist bullshit this week. Our landlord might be dying. It’s just sucked ass. One of the non-work kids I’m involved in is just doing the dumbest shite and I’m worried and frustrated.

Hi all,

The response to my post about PTSD was “highly interested” for sure. The tag for these posts will be #theraPTSD thanks to the wonderful @master-gracey The tag itself also doesn’t seem to have anything else attached to it so hopefully it’ll just block these posts if you need too.

Some house rules - if people start getting nasty, I’ll stop doing it. These posts will be more off the cuff than my therapist-y ones. It’ll be much more journal like (probably) because I don’t care so much about obfuscating the details like I do in my normal posts. There will be stuff coming up around trauma and trauma related symptoms and will do my honest best to tag stuff but if you are worried - theraPTSD will be on every post and you can block that. I’m also looking to keep myself accountable by doing this a bit but if it’s not helping me - I’m going to stop doing it. 

I hope this works out! Thanks for the encouragement.

TheraPTSD is moving! Check out the FAQ here

Don’t Reblog; comments fine

Oof. Therapy today. Last was roooough in terms of session overall and made more difficult by some really fucking bananas life circumstances. I did reach out to friends so plus there.

I wasn’t super excited about going to therapy today - it was crazy today - I got times wrong on a client then saw like 5 people back to back. It was just like so long and I have to see my abusive parent this week so I just couldn’t do super deep stuff. But my current therapist is way better the last one. They are patient and much better at tracking thing than the last one. We are still talking around the primary issue instead of about it.

OOOOOOOOOOO