#theparacosmicvoid

What a week

After the leaf blower incident

A long talk with Poppi helped a lot

From hearing his side

Understanding his thought process

Respecting the validity of his feelings

To voicing how much that behavior hurt

How much confusion it caused

Is there space for rest or only complete

Perfection

The apology was woven between words and attestations

Has

a time in space

ever made you

“They live in the same house but they don’t hang out in the same rooms they’re like roommates”

after she remarked on the state of my relationship with

Emotion

and my

Physical Being

…it’s tough

I didn’t realize the tough things get easier with grounded repetition

At this point in time there’s diagnoses

Papa crafts his comparisons differently framed now by what my body can do

There’s grace here

There’s a heavy hallowed Silence sat with

Accountability

After a life of apologies

Good Friday’s battle’s been won

Didn’t realize how much

I’d grown

to live with

Until the new meds wore off

Still went out

Still made six sales

Still made positive memorable connections

iEnjoyed

the community most

Felt such joy over seeing the pay off

of all that hard work

Despite the fear…

started the meds back again today

Smoking helps the violence of the pains

Still hopeful that things are going to change

Thanks for listening to me again

Hope you’re doing well out there

The usual nausea was provoked

to early morning retching

I’m glad the meds are working.

My right ankle and foot feel so different

to the point my gait has changed

again.

The porcelain throne

almost became my pillow

on the second go

my head feels so heavy

iFeel a little better now

by the window

blowing down a bowl.

Papa paid

It’s the first time ordering Chinese food since

learning

I’m allergic to seemingly every Old Testamently “unclean” thing

…

Since learning

I had known

something

all along.

Since showing providers years of evidence

and watching the concrete case

crumble away.

To have two neurologist

from two of the nations top facilities

agree

and

one finally prescribe the medication recommended years ago.

To come home with clarity and validation..

For years of tenacious research to finally pay off..

to be,

Vindicated.

I’m really happy eating my fried tofu lo mein.

I’m really happy.

Timeline

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