The AITA tag inspired me to make this because you know after the fumble Baldmer would be out here lameting it :P But in true him fashion, he would proceed to still be annoying in his missed connections booty call request XD
Text:
I was very drunk
You were an Imperial woman in attendance at the Understone Keep, wearing a red dress and an unforgettable figure (trust, I have been unsuccessful in forgetting you). I am a mer of superior breeding in Markarth. Despite writing this at all proof of my idiocy, I will not describe myself further lest I be identified.
I spotted you earlier in the night and when the liquor permitted me, I approached you. I filled your goblet and we began conversing. If you were as drunk as I was, you certainly handled it far better than I did. In my intoxication, I was quite forward, to which you returned in spades. I still can recall how you grasped at my arm, how teasingly you inquired about my explicit interest. How absolute I was that we would retire to my quarters, until the wine even further inhibited my sense of judgment,
Though I spoke in accordance with my training, I deeply regret insinuating that you would somehow be a consolation for the inherent lack of women of my own culture. I have little doubt that your company would be among the finest pleasures of life. Should you allow me to make a second impression, I assure you not be left disappointed in any way. Except perhaps in future bedroom companions.
@sulphuricgrin @dirty-bosmer @theoneandonlysemla @chiqita I can see a Missed Connections post being so funny for your pairings :P
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This fic (original text here) was a Christmas gift for my darling friend @skyrim-forever, and I recorded a podfic version for her birthday! It’s my first podfic ever, and I’m really happy with how it turned out.
Summary: Ondolemar is Cisephona's cousin first, her friend second, and her commanding officer third. But he's also a pain in the ass—and though she may not always admit it, she worries about him. (Or: an outside perspective on the Baldmer and his beloved.)
(If you get an error message when you open this link about how it can’t scan the file for viruses, that’s just google being cautious due to the size of the file. It’s 336MB, which is a lot!)
Hi everyone it's Wednesday again <3 Thank you to @umbracirrus @chiqita @dirty-bosmer @theoneandonlysemla @labskeever and @saltymaplesyrup (from last week!) for the tags :)
I have been struggling to write a lot, well more I'm struggling to like what I am writing and have written over 3k across 4 wips but end up restarting or otherwise unable to finish. Here is some stuff for Kinktober I'm working on and feel the best about, Theomar doing a little roleplay/reminiscing ;)
Under the cut for Theomar suggestive:
“And might you explain to me why this,” his gloved hand gestures to the amulet between them, his wife had spared no prop in bringing her vision to life. How grateful he is that it was hidden within the uniform she tucked away, a sign his love had truly lost her senses had he found it alone. “Has been discovered in your private quarters? If not, I’ll have no choice but to declare you a heretic and act accordingly.” Using two fingers he pushes closer to her, the metal clanking quietly on the wooden table. “The Thalmor know how to deal with Talos worshippers.”
“Well, Commander, I’m afraid that is my husband’s. I’ve told him repeatedly that keeping it is not only against the White-Gold Concordant but also such a dangerous thing for a man in his position.” Both his eyes and ears perk up at the word husband, he was unaware until now that she put more thought into this than he expected, not just playing the role of a Talos worshipper, but almost a character. Even in her fantasies, she could not imagine herself a follower of Tiber Septim, instead casting the blame on a nameless, faceless, non-existent husband.
“And what would your husband’s position be?”
“The Jarl.” A smirk tugs at his lips. Oh, Theodora… it was devious, so clearly designed to ignite him even more than the general premise. Despite everything she had to admit she missed how he looked in uniform? Then he would put it on. She wants a charade of being apprehended by him as their foreplay? Mmm, that sounded very enticing. And now not only does he get the joy of taking her as if she were another’s wife, fucking her in a way none could compare, she was a Jarl’s wife. Thinking of how many times he was forced to clash heads with the so-called-court in Markarth, how often his authority was taken as a suggestion rather than the declaration that it was. Though he disagrees now with the role he had, the frustration he felt in the moment when unable to call for arrests, for having to negotiate with a group of Nords best suited for inflicting cranial damage upon each other; that remained. Playing into his old grievances like this, Ondolemar has half a mind to tell her she’s making this too fun for him, that she might regret it. Yet, rather than break from the moment, he chooses to continue, seeking confirmation. After all, he still has a few decades of enjoyment to make up for.
So I couldn't decided today between a scene from Chapter 5 of Changing Tides or a snippet of a Theomar piece I'm working on for the Gala but then remembered porque no los dos? Both under the cut for length, first up is Odile encountering someone with far from wholesome intentions:
It’s while she’s here, face shifting from smiling to a look of mourn over her supper, does someone speak to her, seemingly concerned.
“And what has you down, darling?” When Odile looks up from the bits of white fish and carrots swimming amidst the cream broth, she isn’t expecting to see what she does. Not expecting to see the tall figure leaning against the wall of the Inn, the gold thread of his purple coat glimmering under the light. Now closer to her, she can see they look enchanted as well as expensive, whatever fabric it is made of is one which she’s never seen. Likely something fancy and foreign, fitting in that he is an Altmer. Golden hair to his shoulders, skin like that of brass and piercing amber eyes.
“Oh nothing, I’m doing fine.” A drought of self-confidence hits her and she wants nothing more than to sink into the floorboards. The navy robe she wore for the journey was frayed, patches in the elbows to cover up the wear; it had been her mother’s before her. Procured at a stall in Chorrol when she first came to Cyrodiil. It covers up my pants at least, she thinks. Even more worse for wear as they were the ones she wore for chores around the house. While packing in the early morning, it didn’t occur to her to dress well. Though all of her clothes showed visible mending, there were some better than others. A green dress she sewed with fabric they traded for, a few linen tops she embroidered herself; items far better than those she brought. No point in worrying about that now.
It would seem her answer is not convincing when the mysterious stranger, the second mysterious Elven stranger she’s come across, tells her so.
“You certainly do not look, nor sound, okay.” Pulling the barstool out, he flags down the Innkeeper.
“Red or white?” He asks her.
“Oh I don’t have the money… at the moment.” Offering the latter half to divert away, never feeling embarrassed for her modest living until faced with the exact opposite.
“Well, I do. Red or white?” Odile smiles, heat rising to her cheeks at his words.
“White, they are sweeter.”
“That they are.”
And next is Theodora thinking about what to do for the Gala with her loser mer husband of 9 years yearning <3
Whereas choosing who to embody had been easy for him, albeit not a unique choice by the sea of pointed crowns around him, Theodora hadn’t been so sure as to what she wanted to wear.
“Should I dress as Akatosh? That feels the most fitting, that’s probably what is expected of me.”
“But you embody the dragon every day, my love.” Gently his hands stroked her shoulders while she stood in front of the mirror. “Though if that’s what you want, it is not possible for you to be anything less than stunning.” The smile he catches in the mirror is perfect, so wide and genuine, nothing compared to the feeling of having her smile at him. Capturing the attention of the most sublime being in all of Nirn. He kisses the top of her head, on the grey hairs that were making her shine like starlight. Few in number they were yet, it did not stop her from vigorously plucking them when she first discovered the change. A fear of growing old but beyond that, a fear that somehow he would no longer want her; only at this would he tell his wife she was wrong. The sands of time could not be stopped so she had conceded to let them come and Ondolemar took it upon himself to let her know she only became more beautiful as the days marched on. Theodora clutches his hands, bringing them across her chest and cranes her neck to look up at him.
“Ceri suggested I dress as Mara, she says Mama is as perfect as Mama Mara.” He softly smiles against her hair, another quick kiss.
“She is very correct but we already knew she was smart.”
“She is. Mara could be good…” Breaking from his hold, she goes closer to the mirror now, her reflection showing she is in deep thought.
“You do not sound so sure, do you have another idea? Anything would be lovely.” She smirks.
“Even Talos?” A tired sigh fills the room.
“What have I done to deserve that?” The crinkles on her nose form as she smirks.
“Be so easy to torment.”
“You do so enjoy doing that.” And she could keep doing it, a small price for the life they have now.
“I do,” quickly his wife turns around, approaching him and planting a kiss on his cheek; a suitable apology. “I was actually thinking Dibella.”
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Thank you so much @chiqita @sulphuricgrin @umbracirrus @dirty-bosmer and @sunlightpassingthroughthewater for the tags, this is such a funny tag I've giggling like mad at all your posts <3
r/AmItheAsshole • Posted by u/SuperiorBredMer
AITA making fun of my wife’s ex-lover?
So I (M147) and my (F31) wife are in the process of moving and whilst during our travels, we have been staying in a city where many of her acquaintances are. In truth, she has acquaintances everywhere but this particular city she spent a great deal of time in before we met. And as a part of this life before, I have not only met these friends but also met a previous lover of hers. She did not notify me that he was a previous lover right away (rest assured, that is not the problem at hand, I myself have no shortage in that aspect) but I was able to determine as such.
The issue lies in that my wife has informed me prior that the reason she ended her causal relationship with this mer (M Unknown, younger than me by a few decades) is because she had begun seeing me at the time. And quite frankly, in her own words, he was not as good of a time as me. I will admit I am rather self-assured and may even have a tendency to give in to ego, so at meeting an old lover of hers who was deemed inadequate in comparison, I am afraid I could not help myself. I made a few comments, took the opportunity to be comedic (I am always accused of being too rigid, this should be an improvement), and have done my best at bonding with people so very different from myself.
This ex-lover has seemingly picked up that he is the target of my humor. To make matters worse, my wife’s closest friend (F31) became intoxicated to the point where she told him why that is the case. This may have led to us having a heated conversation in which he flung insults my way (ones I shall not repeat here). In response I stated that I “do not listen to the opinions of lesser mer.” Despite the words he directed at me being of a similar nature, I am the one being blamed for creating such a “tense atmosphere”.
I was simply having a bit of fun and perhaps I did get a bit carried away (the last year of my life has been both a period of great joy and intense upheaval) with the snide remarks. However, one cannot compete where they do not compare so I refuse to acknowledge his posturing, nor will I offer a false apology and act like he is a mer of any status. Though most of my comments have concerned his physical appearance, I have since learned from my wife’s closest friend that he is likewise insufficient in his employment. Lacking in such a way he had to purchase the position he has now, one that is also not of any real prestige. Additionaly, he is a part of a gang of ruffians living in a sewer. If I were him (Praise Auri-El, I am not) I would focus on myself rather than combating the current partner (and father to her child) of an old lover. If anyone is at fault, I believe it to be her friend.
AITA?
Top Comments
u/LionessAmongThieves YTA, Along with her friend. It serves neither of you well to engage in petty taunting.
u/Dibella_Bunkhouse_Babe NTA, Sounds like he can't take a joke. If he’s so offended that he's bad in bed he can come my way and I’ll sort that out.
u/Make_5000_Septims_A_Day_DM_Me Come to the Riften marketplace to take bets on the fight. Whispers say it's a lock on the Altmer but I personally would not discount our very own Bosmer archer.
↳ u/SuperiorBredMer OP There will be absolutely no fight. Do not be prosperous, Nord.
↳ u/Marksman_of_Riften That's right Even I am above beating a mer in front of his own son. Though he is too young to remember, perhaps now is the opportune time.
↳ u/SuperiorBredMer OP Opportune time is what my people said regarding taking over your homeland. Would you care to learn the same lesson?
AITA?
YTA (You're The Asshole)
NTA (Not The Asshole)
NAH (No Assholes Here)
ESH (Everyone Sucks Here)
Voting ended onJan 13
No pressure tagging: @theoneandonlysemla @pocket-vvardvark @artaeums @hircines-hunter @silly-little-diary
