Over the last 3 days, I’ve tried very hard to remember your progress. That included your blood pressure readings, urine output, temperature, blood results the medications you take, when and what radiology you had along with their results. Unless you have suffered a brain related pathology, I find it difficult to accept that you have repeatedly asked me for my name- if you remember to ask at all. 

I’m in a different place in my life right now. I no longer need others’ false sense of approval in the form of reblogs and likes. I don’t need to not feel alone anymore. I’ve embraced my loneliness, and writing stuff down on the Internet when no one’s reading is not helping me make friends anyway. So why am I writing this now? I’m writing it for me. For my future self who feels better, confident, more comfortable with herself, and who needs a reminder of where she’s coming from. 

This adventure started with my brother going away, but now we’re in the same country again, albeit the 500 km that separate us. I’ve grown accustomed to not having him around all the time. I’ve grown accustomed to just being with myself. Since his adventure finished, I decided mine should take a new direction. 

This blog used to be all over the place. It was a very accurate projection of my mind and my thoughts. I tried to settle things down with a monthly series, but realized it was just binding me and I was no longer enjoy myself. Sure, I still love music and movies and such, and sure, I will always have some discoveries that I might want to share. But I hold no chains anymore. I’m throwing away the timeline, throwing away the deadlines, and I’m just enjoying the time I have. 

This will no longer be a hideout for me. I don’t want to be ashamed and embarrassed of what I post and of who I am. This will just be a journal - a very public and accessible one - that hopefully will document my journey through my few upcoming confusing years of life.