Hc prompt;; Do you have an end game canon for Miles? I know he’s scared that Mara is eventually going to overtake him and they’ll either merge to the point that they just are. Or that he won’t be behind the wheel at all anymore and will effectively cease to exist or that he’s physically not gonna be able to endure being a host for forever, that eventually the strain either physical mental or emotional or all of is gonna do him in…. But what do you think is gonna happen? What are the end days going to look like for him? For any partners he doesn’t manage to scare off or run from before the end? I know Miles does not get a happy ending and that whatever the answer is gonna be it’s gonna hurt but I’m ready. Hit me with it Mulli.
random asks | always accepting | @themechaneer
First off, for all that don't know: going for an "end game" was the original game plan when I made Miles five years ago. I tend to lose interest in muses after a couple months so my intention was to make his mental state gradually worse and worse, until I realized that this one would not go anywhere and then kind of ... not quite freeze it there, it's still happening as my blog progresses, but far far slower.
There are several potential outcomes, I already briefly talked about them in private, but there are:
1) LACK OF CONTROL / OBLIVION / THE ETERNAL DREAM.
The obvious one, the one he dreads, where the Walrider consumes him in one way or another. He already loses parts of his memory, both recent from Them taking over (which is less forgetting and more just having blind spots) but also older ones. He doesn't remember what his father looked like, and pieces of his childhood are missing, and those are going to become more and more. There's also just the terror of not waking up again; something that has him dreading sleep. Not because They only take control from him when he's sleeping, of course, but the idea of just never walking up again while something else uses your body is terrifying again, and since it already happened for days and weeks at a time (though never as bad as immediately after the asylum where he was drowned out for nearly four months), it's a very intimate fear. Of course, he doesn't know how exactly that happens; if he will simply sleep forever, or cease to exist, but he assumes that something will remain. In my blog canon, something of everything the swarm consumes remains, and hosts of course more than a simple feast for the longer and deeper connection. He does, however, not know if it's actually a remain of the person themselves or simply an echo, and he doesn't know which of all these options he fears most. It would be a mix of both; some small piece remaining but the rest simply... like someone copying you after knowing you very, very well. Impossible to tell from the outside.
That one is a slow death; and one that would be very terrifying to watch. Imagine dementia, only coupled with murderous intent and the knowledge that when they die, it will spread to someone else; but that this new person still holds onto the corpse of your lover and never letting them know peace.
2) THE VIOLENT DEATH; THE PASSING ON.
Now, one could argue that this one would be merciful; that it comes sudden and without the horror of losing your mind and your sanity and being aware of it, however, there is one subform of it that makes it not that much less terrifying, and that is Val (and whatever new followers she might gain) and whatever the end goal with Blake's impossible child is; something she sees as the Antichrist and the vessel for her God. Religions, especially ones that deal with things such as these, are often filled with violent rituals, and there is very little reason to believe that, should they find this child and deem it fit for hosting the Walrider, that they will simply wait for it to be passed on. There needs to be a literal passing on; there needs to be a rite. There needs to be something definite: something symbolic. Like literally carving out his heart out of his chest; and maybe let the new vessel feed on it — cannibalism is hardly something that pagan religions would bat their eyes on, especially in a case like this where it would be to consume the old to gain divinity.
They haven't talked about it. But he knows it's an option that's in the room.
(There's a third option, of course: the MARTRIYUM / CIRCLE, but that would include both him making the decision to lock himself up with that thing and give up on whatever life he has left to keep it from finding a new host, which he is not willing to do, too selfish for it, and also the impossible task of finding something that both contains them, is void of other life they could possess, and that they don't know beforehand of. It's not going to happen, but I like to add it for the implication: imagine being locked in your final days with an angry elder god that has no escape and nothing to do but to pick you apart and put you back anew for the rest of potentially eternity.)