#theions

If these have nothing to do with one another to everyone else in the universe except me-fine. ok.

To me? I will forever and a day have a morsel of hope that they do because these two complex humans separated are top tier artists. Factor in all the layers they encompass, all the abilities to create art together, but the ability to inspire and reach other beings is limitless.

It's going to change soon and I'm a patterns girl.

I told my fiance about a pattern last night and he rebuttled with a story about a woman in an insane asylum.

What if blue for boys and pink for girls is such a big and resistant topic because the colors support the wavelength/frequency historically possessed by either gender?

I had a new client. In this age of the world and her early 20s age who had never heard of Noah Kahan. These things happen to me often and I used to think that they were organic. Now I think there is more to it. She wrote down his name in her phone and loved the name of "the last of the bugs"

Last night he teased a new song. He speaks of a place called Logan. On Sunday last we we went to Logan's. My brother and I worked there together. I unlocked some memories that visually were like holograms. The bend of my brothers wrists and how he drank out of a Togo cup were details I never realized I couldn't recall.

There is more than magic and more than grief behind this. I can be surrounded and still be brought to my knees by the way I feel support and seen and heard by music.

Tomorrow at 3 am will be 5 years without my brother. Ironically I took a homie home tonight. On the way home I realized that 5 years ago I was traveling that same road, coming from the same distance with a brother still on this planet.

From the moment Mark Alan passed away, I knew it wouldn't be in vain. I knew his legacy would be that same innocent purity even if I didn't know how.

All of this started because music was the only thing I could trust to hold me, and I felt guilty as fuck for bringing my heavy heart to these artists. I wanted to equally pay them back somehow, but that's another story.

I tried to blame grief. I tried to claim insanity. I wanted it to be anything other than what it is. For the record when it comes to Mark Alans hair: I asked questions. I can remember the faces of all the people that shrugged and said some vague response. I didn't give up. I trusted my industry and that was my first mistake.

I'm dealing with the anger and the realization that battleship is more than a board game.

Either I have seriously developed a brain injury or I'm very very mutated...or both.