#thecalamityqueen

asdfghjkl you’re like the sweetest person ever!!! I love you!! 🍓 Also this is so me, you have no idea. 

Hey guess who can’t write short stuff? It me. These always turn into headcanon-scenarios. But it’s not going under the cut, sorry! Please forgive misspellings and errors. I started watching Death Note on a whim while editing this. 

KAKASHI, IRUKA AND GAI GETTING LOVE NOTES FROM AN ADMIRER 

KAKASHI

I feel like Kakashi isn’t a stranger to randos fawning over him. Either they’re in awe because “it’s Kakashi, the Copy Ninja!”, or they somehow sneak a peek at him maskless, or they spend 30 seconds around him (let’s face it, he’s that cool) but he doesn’t think about it much because it’s all very shallow to him. He doesn’t like the attention and most people don’t know the “real Kakashi”, so he feels that most people’s idea of him is very false and inaccurate. His mindset is, “They love me for who they’ve made me out to be, but they would hate me for who I actually am.” 

When Kakashi first finds a love note from a secret admirer, he’s not sure what to do about it. He’s gotten confessions of love before but he’s always ignored them because - as stated - they’re seemingly shallow and only confess to loving the person everyone thinks he is. But this letter seems different - it doesn’t gush about his abilities, or how sexy he is because of the air of mystery around him, or simply fangirl because he’s Kakashi of the Sharingan. The letter doesn’t try to explain away his issues (”I know you’re like this because of what happened, but …”) and it doesn’t come across as someone with a savior complex (”I know that if you let me, I can heal you with my love!”) so he’s pretty intrigued. Who is this person? How do they know him, and how have they managed to cut through all the nonsense the village praises him for? 

It kind of scares him if this person seems to know a truer version of Kakashi. He’s afraid of being found out, afraid of people seeing he’s scared and weak and royally messed up. But he’s also drawn to this mysterious writer - how did they manage to see right through him? Does he know them? And he’s really curious depending on where he finds the letter. If it’s delivered to him through the post, he’ll figure it’s just someone who’s seen him on his walk home/has known him for a while and knows where he lives. If it’s given to him via a teammate or by the Hokage during a meeting, he’ll be kind of suspicious. (”How do they know who I’m working with? Is it … one of them?” Then he’ll study all the people he’s working with or that passes in and out of the Hokage building and see if any of their eyes linger a bit too long on him.) If he finds it in his book or his gear, he’ll be bound and determined to find out who it is because how the heck did they get into his stuff without him noticing?! 

After a couple of notes (and failed attempts to figure out who it is), Kakashi has 2 tactics he goes for. The first is to enlist Pakkun and the rest of his ninken into sniffing out the culprit. He’ll give them the letters to pick up the scent and then send them off into the village. The ninken try to pick up clues in the note (if there is any perfume or lotions, or certain smells that’d only be present at a particular shop or area of Konoha - such as ramen or varnish or flowers). (But I imagine the letter writer is too scared about being discovered, so each and every letter smells different and the ninken can’t figure out who it is for the life of them. How many different perfumes and lotions does this person own? Do they write these at restaurants and cafes? “LISTEN KAKASHI, FIVE PEOPLE HAVE HANDLED THIS LETTER BEFORE YOU GOT IT, OKAY? THE ORIGINAL SCENT IS GONE. SO UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO CHASE DOWN THE MAILMAN LIKE SOME KIND OF COMMON DOG, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO FIGURE THIS OUT.”) 

His other tactic is to leave his own notes where he’s found the love letters. If they’re in his stuff, he figures that the person will find his notes when they go to hide theirs. He’ll tuck some into his scroll pouches, pockets, in the pages of Icha Icha, wherever he found them. (But he’s kind of nervous about it and doesn’t want the person to miss his letter - so he’ll leave another piece of paper that says something like “Check front left pocket” or “Go to page 138”, asdghjkl Kakashi that defeats the purpose of “finding” the letter on your own!!) 

If it’s delivered through the post, he’ll hand over his own letter to the mailman and say, “Give this to the person who sends me these notes.” (But that’s super vague and Kakashi gets a lot of mail from people - even though he hardly reads it, and it sits in a pile on his table - so the mailman is like “??? Sure??” and there’s a 100% chance it ends up going to someone like Kotetsu or Gai or even Tsunade and everyone is really confused and Kakashi is horrified because they’ve just read his love letter?!?!? It happened like once, and Kakashi is now so paranoid and embarrassed that he either stops this idea altogether or gives the mailman the most serious, deadpan look and says, “GIVE THIS TO THE PERSON WHO SENDS ME THESE *flips love note*, OKAY?”) 

(Or he’ll write a note and give it to Lady Tsunade and just say, “This … goes to whoever’s been leaving me notes …” And she’s like, “Uh-huh … You know, you’d think with all of your capabilities, you’d have found out who it is by now.” And he’s like, “?? Wait, do YOU know?” And she’s like, “Hello? I give you these letters all the time; I sit in this office all day and see who comes in and out of the building from that window. For a guy who can copy every jutsu with his Sharingan, you sure aren’t all that observant. Maybe if you uncovered that half of your face for a while you’d be able to see who it is. But it’s none of my business …”) 

Kakashi is basically just a huge dork and tries to play it cool but inside he’s freaking out because there’s somebody out there in the village who is leaving him love notes and it’s driving him insane because he DOESN’T KNOW WHO IT IS. He knows he tells a lot of people to “let things go”, but this is something he needs to know and he probably won’t stop until he finds his secret admirer. (And when he FINALLY finds them, he’s so flippin’ nervous he’ll mess things up and that once they spend time around him they’ll realize he’s a loser and give up, so he almost wishes he hadn’t figured it out.)

IRUKA

Iruka has had his fair share of women flirting with him. Usually single moms, aunts, or grannies of the kids in his class that show up during Parent-Teacher Conferences/school events (like graduation), but that’s about it. He is pretty oblivious with most of the flirting tactics the women employ, but a few of the more bolder ones make him a little nervous so he tries his best to brush them off. (”Dinner? Oh, aha ha ha … I’m sorry but I’m incredibly busy grading homework tonight … and for the rest of the week. But I’ll see you at the next Parent-Teacher Conference!”) What a dork. (He hates this memory, but half of his coworkers will randomly bring up the time a drunk obaasan was having a good time at one of the village’s summer festivals and followed him around all night, pinching his face, grabbing his butt, and playing with his ponytail. Genma volunteered him to “walk the poor woman home” at the end of the night and Iruka was horrified to find out how strong such a small and old woman was, because he had to basically fight her off when she tried to drag him inside. RIP.) 

When Iruka first gets a love note from a secret admirer, his first thought is, “Oh, please don’t let it be a student.” He’s very likable and personable and more than one student has developed a crush on him. It’s always a little awkward for him but he does his best to discourage them and let them down gently. So when he reads the note and sees that the handwriting and the level of skill the writing took, he gives a huge sigh of relief because oh my gosh, it’s not a student, thank goodness. But now he has a new question - who IS it from? Another teacher? A parent? (Urck, he’s not sure how he feels about dating a student’s mom tbh.) Someone else? His list of suspects narrows depending on where he found it - in his desk drawer, hidden between a stack of ungraded homework assignments, or delivered to his classroom by a teacher’s aide. 

The note makes him quite flustered, ngl. Whether it’s super articulate and poetic, or just a short and blunt note, he’s blushing like mad because someone out there took the time to write it and leave it for him to find. (For a moment he thinks it’s a mistake and it’s meant for another teacher but - nope! His name is on the front, it’s definitely for him. He also wonders if it’s a prank by his co-workers since they know how he feels about women flirting with him but something about this seems genuine.) He hides his note somewhere close - either on his person or in his bag - and thinks about it for the rest of the day until he can do some investigative work. 

Iruka is, like, 10000x more per perceptive now and he pays attention to everything and everyone. He needs to know if his admirer left the note themselves, or if they had someone else drop it off. He’s almost suspicious of anyone who comes by his classroom and even briefly thinks that one of the kids was employed by their parent to hide the note in his desk. He has so many wild conspiracies running through his head, and he seems a bit like a madman. (Like … imagine the Pepe Silvia scene from It’s Always Sunny.) So anyway, he mostly watches intently and keeps track of who comes into his classroom, who has access to his papers, and who seems to be acting strange. (It drives him absolutely bonkers if he finds ANOTHER love note and didn’t even see anyone leave it!! How could he miss it?!) 

People at the Academy notice how weird he’s acting and he finally breaks down and confesses to one or two close friends that he’s been trying to figure out who’s leaving him notes (he may or may not leave out the “love” part). They agree to help him figure it out, but they think this is really funny because of how stressed and flattered he is. Mostly they’re not much help because they end up delivering a few love letters to Iruka hidden between copies of assignments, shrug and say, “Oh I don’t know, I got this from so-and-so in the break room. Must’ve been stuck in there earlier.” They have their own suspicions but don’t say anything because it’s more fun to let him figure it out. 

Finally Iruka is near his breaking point, so he ends up stalking around the Academy, practically harassing everyone there as he watches their every move. He hangs around the break room and copy room, watching with eagle eyes to see anyone shuffling love letters into his mailbox or papers. 90% of the teachers have no idea what’s going on, and the people who do know think it’s hilarious and terrifying. 

Lord help the person Iruka catches hiding the love notes in his papers. He runs over to them, grabs the note, shoves it in their face, laughing hysterically as he says, “I CAUGHT YOU! FINALLY! IT WAS YOU THE WHOLE TIME!” If the person he caught is only the delivery person for the secret admirer, they’d probably quit right then. (”Are you sure you like this guy? He’s so weird. You should’ve seen him when he saw me with your letter! I’m never doing that again!!”) They’d also straight up tell him, “Yeah, I left them for you but I didn’t write them. And I took a vow of silence so I can’t tell you who they’re from.” And after a lot of confusion and begging on Iruka’s part, the delivery person would give up and say, “OKAY. I can’t tell you who it is but if you write a letter, I can get it to them …” (Cue the fastest letter writing in the history of the world and Iruka frantically saying, “Here! Take it! Let me know what they say!”) 

If it IS the secret admirer he’s caught, they’re probably horrified - especially since Iruka wasn’t very subtle and there were other people in the room with them … and now they’re all staring … and now they all know they were writing love notes … to Iruka … It’s so embarrassing omg. But once he’s calmed down, he’s blushing again because this is the person who was writing love notes to him oh my gosh they’re so cute !!! and he gets enough sense in him to talk to them in private and ask about the letters, and about themselves, and he’s still so confused why they like him but he’s happy he found them - and everyone else is happy too because HE FINALLY STOPPED FOLLOWING THEM AROUND AND WATCHING THEIR EVERY MOVE, THEY’RE FINALLY FREE!!! Iruka gets a little overzealous sometimes …

MAITO GAI

First reaction: crying about how youthful it is to receive love notes. Second reaction: a hearty chuckle of success because he realizes no one can resist the Green Beast of Konoha. Third reaction: he shoves the letter into Kakashi’s face and asks, “Did YOU receive such a youthful and lovely letter, filled to the brim with kind words and compliments, signed anonymously - too shy to reveal their true selves?! There is something so wonderful about the unsure confession of love by a secret admirer.” Everyone is in shock that not only does someone like Gai, but they’re actually writing him love notes. 

Gai is probably the type to make an assumption about who wrote the letter, find himself around them, give a “knowing” laugh when they say/do something contradictory to liking him, wink, give a thumbs up and say, “Don’t worry about it … We both know the truth. There’s no need to be shy!” And they ?? have no idea ?? what he’s talking about ?? (Tenten looks on in secondhand embarrassment, trying to gingerly break the news, “Gai-sensei … I don’t think it was them …” Gai is confused because, no - he’s sure it’s them. Right? It’s obvious. They’re just shy! Gai they’re not shy, they’re wondering why the Green Beast of Konoha is trying to make the moves on them when they have done absolutely nothing to indicate that they’re interested.) 

Rock Lee is just as invested in this as Gai because he thinks it’s so lovely; Neji is wondering who in the world would send a love note to his teacher; Tenten very surprised but also intrigued; they all end up helping Gai find his secret admirer because they’re all curious (and Gai definitely sees this as an opportunity to turn it into a training exercise in information gathering, stealth tactics, and teamwork - as well as trying to one-up Kakashi by proving that he too has hoards of fangirls). (”Gai-sensei, it was ONE note …”) 

Gai’s secret admirer would have to be pretty creative and sneaky to get the notes to him if they didn’t want to get caught, especially now that he’s looking for them. They probably do something ridiculous like tie the note to a bird, set the bird off towards the training fields, train the bird to steal something/pester the genin or Gai until they can’t take it anymore so they’ll grab the bird and find the note (all the while the secret admirer watches from a distance as Gai reads the letter). Or they tack love letters on the trees all along the path Gai takes when he jogs in the morning, so that only he can find them. He is both in awe by their dedication, and really impressed because only he and Rock Lee get up that early to train - so this person knows his schedule pretty well. (Is it really a crush if you haven’t stalked them a little bit?) 

Gai respects boundaries and he understands some people are more reserved about their feelings (he’s been friends with Kakashi since forever), so he won’t try to do anything to embarrass or publicly out his secret admirer. As stated above, he may get a little ahead of himself and start hinting towards someone that he knows it’s them - even if it’s not. But as soon as he understands that’s not the person, he backs off and apologizes, saying, “I’m sorry - I thought you were the person I’d been corresponding with.” (He doesn’t want so many other people to know this person has a crush on him - it’s not his secret to tell, so he tells little lies like that they’re a penpal or something.) 

He isn’t super perturbed if he can’t immediately find this secret admirer. There are some moments when he clenches his fist in frustration because he just wants to meet them - but he also enjoys the surprise of finding a new letter for him on the training field, waiting for him at the counter of a weapons shop, or even slipped under the door of his apartment. (He cried once when he got a poem instead of a letter, and it compared his green jumpsuit to the “comforting forests outside the village”, his hair to “the blackest of starless skies, still aglow with the halo of a new moon” and his smile to “the most radiant beam of sunshine to warm the hearts” of those around him.) He saves all of these and keeps them where he can read them every day. The poems he tacks to his fridge door, and the very first one he received he keeps in his vest pocket. 

Since this secret admirer knows Gai’s schedule pretty well, they’ve been watching him to make sure he doesn’t catch them leaving notes - and they’ve seen him mistakenly think a few other shinobi/civilians were writing the love notes. They can see that he isn’t turned off or weirded out by it all, so they gain some confidence and decide to reveal themselves. They show up to the training grounds at 4am (when Gai shows up to start his morning routine) and Gai is there alone, already training. He notices them right away but doesn’t say anything so he won’t scare them off. When they get close enough, he stops his training and looks at them, giving them a gentle smile. Nervously, they approach and shove a final letter at him. He reads it and then grins at them, “So it’s you. I’ve been waiting for you to show up. Would you like to take a walk?”

Other than ChickenGate, today has been pretty good.  I used to live down the street from from a friend who’s birthday is the 19th and I celebrate with my friends on her week.  I’ll see her again tomorrow for cake.  

I ran out of Vitamin D last month and I had not replenished my supply, which I’m sure the source of my problem the other day.  I mustered enough energy to go to the store to buy some yesterday and the sun is out in full force today.  I’m feeling much better today.Thank you for your support.  :3 

Plus, so many messages! I was going to answer some of them privately, but I don’t want to lose them to the void.  So here I am, spamming away.  

That's horrible! I hated school for this same reason. My third grade teacher actually gave me the nickname "cream puff" and got the class calling me that. It's hard being the chunky kid.

oml Right??? Agh. Grade school was the worst. 

I hope that tomorrow is a better day for you. That you wake up refreshed and not weighed down. Sending hugs!

I'm glad I'm not the only one he irritates. I technically watched Iron Fist, but I was scrolling through Tumblr so much that I don't even remember it. I just couldn't bare watching him for that long.

also, replies!

5 things you’ll find in my bag

I don’t carry a bag but- Car/house keys. Phone. Wallet. Water bottle. Sketchbook sometimes.   

5 things you can find in my blog

‘Just a thought’ text posts. Naruto things (Itachi, Kakashi) DC things (Tim Drake, Conner Kent.) My art sometimes. My fics (much more rare tbh,)

5 things i’m currently into

Currently? As in not all the time forever/new? DND, more plants, Reddit (this is a return interest-) uuuh uuuh- I can’t think of NEW or current as in not forever things-;;; !!!

5 things you can find in my bedroom

Many books, real bones (spook), too many art supply, many shark plush, figures. (Me. I will also be there.) 

5 things that make me happy

That good fandom shit- that good good fucking fandom shit yesss. My GIRLFRIEEEEND (I’m trying to channel the show Chowder here. Do yall recall?) Pretty art/animations. Chocolates/Pastries  Payday ;)c

- 

Now i’ll tag (using @hardly-used-intelligence method. Whose in my recent activity ;)c ) 

I honestly don't think I can fully express how inappropriate that is of your professor! Especially for people who suffer from mental disorders...the added anxiety of having to pretend to be happy so it doesn't hurt your teachers ego, because people aren't joyful enough in her class. Bad days are a normal part of the human experience.

I hope you can get out of the class. Especially that you are still grieving and that is totally normal and you should be allowed that without the fear of being publicly shamed for not putting on a fake happy face.