#thebigask

I'm 21, single as of the moment, and as far as my uptight, old-fashioned fellows are concerned, I've been single since birth.

Single since birth.

There's this certain wall between those who have already been asked to be someone's girlfriend and those who have not. I, sadly, belong to the latter. Don't get me wrong, I've been on dates. I had a prom date, a gorgeous grad ball date, and, hell, I've dated a guy long enough for us to have an extremely painful break up. A break up in which the awful aftermath lasted more than the relationship did. I will not indulge you with the nitty gritty of it, but the point is, I've been considered as someone who has been "Single/No Boyfriend Since Birth" only because I've never had The Big Ask. 

The Big Ask.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" ask. "Will you be mine?" No, I've never had one of those. Not even "So.... are you my girlfriend now?" Nope. As arrogant as I was earlier, I am ashamed to say that even my prom date didn't make a romantic notion into asking me to be his "date". He was just a friend at that time and we only started dating after prom.

I have been asked to go on a date with someone, sure. I've also turned down a few and said yes to some. The point is, I've never had that moment wherein the guy asks you one question that could mean so much and so little at the same time that your brain stops and your heart is on overdrive. Before you know it, your face has already given him the answer because you're smiling through your teeth. The "yes" in you is somehow stuck inside your chest and lungs and throat but you still manage to screech it out of your mouth. You say "Yes" in your happiest face and you just know, you both won that night.

I've never had that. I've always pictured it in my head with the guy I'm in love with, but somehow, we never end up there.

Any, or all, of the following albums (hard copies): Of Monster and Men's My Head Is An Animal; Lucy Rose's Like I Used To.

A trip outside my country of birth/origin; preferably, the United Kingdom and/or Finland/Sweden. It's okay for me if outside-the-city excursions are included, but high-priority needed nonetheless on higher dreams.

More interesting books (with titles I haven't researched as yet), please. Still on reading cues are: What I Loved (Siri Hustvedt), A Wild Sheep Chase (Haruki Murakami), lower half of Mind's Eye (Oliver Sacks). But all before obtaining that discount card from Fully Booked.

More weight please! 2012 saw me to this range: 110-120 lbs. I need improvement on the arms department, please! Tips, anyone?

Pass at least two actuarial exams.

Finish thesis for masters' and prepare for comprehensive and oral exams.

Pass 9+7 units of masters'. (And graduate with masters' on 2014?)

Obtain a copy of this dorky lunch box: The Thick of It S1-S4 with The Missing DoSAC Files attached.

Commit to the one. As an earlier Facebook post has told me, interest and commitment are two different things.

Learn Finnish to conversation-grade knowledge.

Doctor Who merchandise! (Still hoping for my aunt sending the Dalek-related merchandise and all.)

Learn how to cook edible delights! (Tutelage is needed, and a kitchen. Please!)

Push for it. 

A shaft, or shaft + blade for Floorball. Just broke my stick :(

A suitable bike for biking/having fun.