#theageoldquestion

So I was recently inspired by the fantastic little book called “The Symptoms of Being Human” by Jeff Garvin, in which his main character, a gender fluid person named Riley, switches schools and finds a tough time coming out to, well anyone.  And she decides she will come out electronically and anonymously.  So besides the book review, I will take a page out of Riley’s book and start a whole new chapter on this doomed website.

So if you were to see me, already knowing my birth gender as a girl, then you would be confronted by the question: is she transgender, or just a butch (lesbian/bi)? Well if you could figure it out, would you please let me know?  Because I’m struggling over here.  Like a lot of people, I started off my journey just simply questioning my sexuality.  It took me a good bit, and I think I’m pretty firmly in the bisexual zone.  (And no, bisexuality is not a myth.)  But a few weeks ago I started to question who I really was, yatta yatta, the same cheesy story.

But it truly does put you in a really dark place, to not know who you are.  To be so completely and utterly lost you can’t decide what gender you are.  And sometimes I  tell myself just to leave it, I can live as a girl, it’s not so bad.  And truly I fell comfortable in both clothes, but sometimes my curvy hips leave me with too much anxiety to wear any close clothes.  And I feel more comfortable with my guy’s pants and loose shirts, and even when I bind.  Of course I’m binding the unhealthy way since my mom won’t let me get a real one yet.