#theaarons2020

It was prime time for TV in 2020, with many more free hours to fill. I managed to get through a lot of my backlog in fact, finally getting around to watching shows like The Strain. It’s a show about a deadly disease that tears society apart because a lot of arrogant people think they are exempt from quarantining. The disease turns people into vampires, so it’s technically escapism. Here are the Aarons for Best TV Show: 

#10. The Plot Against America (Miniseries) - HBO

It’s not TV, it’s not HBO, it’s real life. The Wire-creator David Simon’s penchant for illustrating the human fallout of institutional failures made him a perfect collaborator for HBO’s Plot Against America, an adaptation of Phillip Roth’s alternate-history novel. Following a Jewish family in New Jersey navigating the increasingly-fascist America of a hypothetical Charles Lindbergh administration, the show is a terrifying warning of what happens when hatred and conspiracy theories are allowed to accumulate political force. Notably, while the book ends with history back on the right track, the closing moments here are left ambiguous. The show was a limited series, but in many ways, The Plot Against America is ongoing.

#9. Mrs. America (Miniseries) - FX

Its interests are married to The Plot Against America, but Mrs. America traces the country’s rising extremism from a more historically accurate perspective. The miniseries centers on political activists in the 1970s on opposing sides of the proposed Equal Rights Amendment, but its dialogue isn’t a strict dichotomy. The episodic format is expertly utilized to build out intersectional ideas from the likes of Rose Byrne’s Gloria Steinem, Uzo Aduba’s Shirley Crisholm, and Margo Martindale’s Bella Abzug, detailing the difficulties in building a diverse coalition, and the dangers of a single-minded one. Drawing parallels to current debates, its compelling centerpiece is how conservative Phylis Shafley (Cate Blanchett) successfully defeats the Amendment; voting against your own self-interests, Mrs. America says, is as American as apple pie.

#8. The Outsider (Miniseries) - HBO

Societal collapse comes from within in the two shows mentioned above, but the threat in HBO’s adaptation of Stephen King’s 2018 novel is decidedly an “other.” King clearly had his mind on modern manipulations of truth when crafting the ingenious premise: a man is arrested for the murder of two young boys due to irrefutable DNA evidence, only to provide an air-tight alibi for the crime. To match King’s procedural prose, HBO brought on The Night Of’s David Price, who layers the original work with meticulous mysteries. The Outsider has all the pulpy jolts expected of the author, but the show’s true horror lies in its overbearing grief, best brought to life by Ben Mendelsohn’s Detective Anderson. To say more would be to spoil its secrets; you’ll want to be on the inside.

#7. Perry Mason (Season 1) - HBO

Just like the famous fictional attorney, HBO can’t seem to lose, with Perry Mason marking its third entry on this list. The reimagining of the long running court drama actually takes place before the character’s illustrious law career; here he’s a down-on-his-luck private eye caught up in a scandalous child kidnapping case. The result’s a gangbusters production of old-fashioned moody noir: political corruption, femme fatales, and a more morally-complicated Mason, as played by The Americans’ Matthew Rhys. The lavish period details and character-actor cast, including Shea Whigham, John Lithgow, and Tatiana Maslany, will help draw viewers in, but, I’ll confess, I was already hooked by the season’s chilling opening moments.

#6. Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist (Season 1) - NBC

Dour seasons have dominated this list thus far, but Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist sings a different tune. It’s a lovably oddball premise: an accident during an MRI causes a young woman, played by Jane Levy, to hear other people’s thoughts in the form of popular music. It’s all karaoke, but, emphasized by the presence of Skylar Astin, a worthy inheritor to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend’s musical-comedy crown. The tracklist, workplace antics, and love-triangle drama all exist in a comfortingly familiar network TV realm, but the show takes additional steps for inclusion with stories highlighting Zoey’s genderfluid neighbor (Alex Newell) and an American Sign Language performance of Rachel Platten’s “Fight Song.” During a year in need of shuffling off stress, there was no better time to queue up Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist.

#5. What We Do in The Shadows (Season 2) - FX

FX’s expansion of the mockumentary feature film of the same name lit up some of the darker corners of its universe in the show’s second season, transforming mundane-seeming material into something completely, uniquely batty. Each creature of Shadows took their turn in the spotlight this season, from a middle-management promotion gifting energy-vampire Colin Robinson unlimited supernatural power, to undead Nadja befriending a doll possessed by her own ghost, to Matt Berry’s Lazlo forging a small-town persona as a bartender/volleyball coach to escape a vengeful Mark Hamill. As always, it was the sympathetic Guillermo (Harvey Guillén), a Van Helsing descendent desperate to become a vampire, who gave the show its emotional stakes, and the vampires within a different kind altogether.

#4. Stargirl (Season 1) - DC Universe

Shadows was lit, but few things burned brighter this year than Stargirl (perhaps too brightly for the flamed-out DC Universe). The superhero drama is one of several that will outlive its original streaming service - fitting, given its obsession with legacy. Based on a character created by DC Comics stalwart Geoff Johns after the tragic loss of his sister, the show finds a young girl taking on the mantle of a fallen hero after moving to a town run in secret by supervillains. With sprightly fight choreography and an unabashed embrace of its comic book lore, Stargirl outshines the overabundance of small-screen superheroes out there. Its highlight is the bright performance of lead Brec Bassinger; put simply, she’s a star, girl.

#3. BoJack Horseman (Season 6b) - Netflix

Throughout its run, BoJack Horseman garnered acclaim for routinely delivering unexpected pathos, and the final season kept it on that track until the end. ...Get it, because horses run on tracks? The unexpected porter of television’s legacy of antiheroes ended in much the same vein as its sister shows - with consequences finally catching up with its protagonist. No amount of fanciful animal puns could soften that painful catharsis, as the show finally trampled its tricky web of abuse through bittersweet means. The series closed out with an especially thoughtful scene, the kind viewers who looked past the wonky pilot years ago were regularly blessed with; to the very end, BoJack, you were a gift, horse.

#2. Better Call Saul (Season 5) - AMC

As good as Bad ever was and better than ever before, the fifth season of AMC’s spin-off completely upended the world of its eponymous lawyer while bringing Vince Gilligan’s universe one step away from full-circle. Saul Goodman found himself in way over his head, and viewers found themselves way on the edge of their seats, as his first foray into “criminal” lawyering swiftly dovetailed with an escalating drug war. Despite the emotional distress of watching fan-favorite character Kim Wexler placed in perilous situations, there are no objections to be had with the drama’s continued masterful storytelling. Ramping up the slow-burn storytelling, season five saw Kim and Saul’s relationship develop in rich and unexpected ways, while still keeping their final fates unresolved. Fans are thus waiting with bated breath for the show’s final call next year. 

#1. The Great (Season 1) - Hulu

Who could be the best but The Great? There was a minor television controversy this year over Netflix marketing The Crown as a historical drama despite its fictional interpretation of events; The Great has no such pretentions. An asterix adorns every title card of the show, letting viewers know that its take on Catherine the Great’s coup against Emperor Peter III of Russia is only “an occasionally true story.” The show indeed is not great for education, but it’s the most entertaining television of the year, locking stars Elle Fanning and Nicholas Hoult in a battle of wits and a fight for the country’s soul under the watch of The Favourite co-writer Tony McNamara. The uproarious comedy slyly collates leadership based in cruelty with leadership based in goodwill in the background of its quite bawdy escapades, a subtle bit of relevant political maneuvering that lets it successfully claim the crown this year.

I had to cancel a lot of streaming services this year. They know what they did wrong. Here are the Aarons for Best TV Episode: 

#10. “Take Your Choice” (Batwoman, Season 1, Episode 12)

Coming out of the Infinite Earths crossover, Batwoman is left with a personal Crisis of conscience: Kate Kane’s efforts to redeem the villainous Alice, her presumed-dead sister, are derailed by the arrival of an alternate-universe version of her, one who didn’t suffer the same traumatic events. Multiverse collapse means only one can live, compelling Kate to choose between fighting a righteous lost cause or taking the easier path back to normalcy, the kind of complex moral dilemma that heroes are forged in. The original Alice is seen as both abuser and victim within, torturing Kate over her own lingering trauma, while fearing a second, far-worse abandonment. This enhanced sibling conflict reinvigorated the season’s second half. It’s unfortunate that dynamic is now lost with the decision to replace, not recast, Batwoman going forward, but, well, a choice had to be made.

#9. “The One Where We’re Trapped on TV” (Legends of Tomorrow, Season 5, Episode 14)

With back-to-back shows on this list, it’s clear The CW’s sweeping interconnected universe is still going strong, but they’re not done conquering the airwaves yet. In their latest bit of meta-mischief, the crew behind the show Legends of Tomorrow flexed their creative freedom and trapped the on-screen crew of Legends of Tomorrow within various television parodies, including Friends, Downton Abbey, and Star Trek. Each is brought to life with expert lived-in details by long-term producer and first-time director Marc Guggenheim. The cast gamely tunes in to the needs of each as well, hamming it up with Shatner-impressions and droll sitcom style. It’s all held together by the show’s lovable mush; if you’re looking for unique, heartfelt television, the Legends are on it. 

#8. “Zoey’s Extraordinary Glitch” (Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, Season 1, Episode 8)

Despite her being the star of the show, Playlist kept skipping over Jane Levy for its big musical numbers, a consequence of its concept that Zoey is the one hearing other people’s thoughts expressed in song. That oversight was paused in the show’s eighth production, which gave her a show-stopping spotlight all her own. It wasn’t just Levy’s rendition of pop songs that were a hit, but how reality hit for the character after signing her heart out. The playful subversion of Playlist’s formula dialed cringe-comedy to the max, while shattering the limitations of its unusual premise. If the show keeps shuffling itself around like it did here, it won’t be played out anytime soon.

#7. “Sundown” (Lovecraft Country, Season 1, Episode 1)

The unknown is an alluring yet dangerous place. That’s the concept at the heart of infamous horror author H.P. Lovecraft’s work, and the principle carries over to J.J. Abrams and Jordan Peele’s inspired TV show. Atticus Freeman can’t resist that unknown when he receives a mysterious letter from his missing father, and sets off on a road trip beset by monsters to find him. The episode is a wicked homage to the petrifying creatures of Lovecraft lore, but its true horror lies in its subversion of those stories. Lovecraft, an unapologetic racist, founded his fears in that bigotry; Lovecraft Country centers people of color in its narrative, contending with those racist fears within monsters that walk among us. This balance of reverence and rejection is never better than in this first episode; “Sundown” is the highest point in the unearthly Lovecraft Country.

#6. “The Curse” (What We Do in the Shadows, Season 2, Episode 4)

STOP! If you are reading this, you have been cursed! You will be visited by Bloody Mary tonight if you do not forward The Aarons to ten other people.

 ...It was a familiar hoax to earlier adopters of the internet, a bit of viral villany that used the anonymous and unfathomable nature of the world wide web to spook even the most shrewd of children. To a clan of vampires though, incredulity is already out the window. That’s the clever catch of this episode, in which the long-undead crew scramble to get a crash-course in the technological age to avoid such a prophesied ghostly encounter.  It’s a devilishly funny dance of dramatic irony… or is it? I can say with certainty that “The Curse” is a real one, so best get forwarding, readers.

#5. “Ego Death” (I May Destroy You, Season 1, Episode 12)

There was always an inevitability to I May Destroy You: a miniseries needs a denouement. That’s a greater dilemma when your subject is recovering in the wake of sexual assault, a situation that’s rarely cleanly resolved. “Ego Death,” the final installment in the resolutely honest show, doesn’t shy away from that difficulty. Creator and star Michaela Cola’s Arabella has a chance recognition of her assailant, and the episode runs through several possible reactions for her to that encounter. It’s as furious and yet funny as the show consistently was, while always holding firm to the promise of its title: assault need not define you, destruction is not inevitable.

#4. “Bagman” (Better Call Saul, Season 5, Episode 8)

Vince Gilligan built his empire on exploring what will make a person reach their breaking point; after five seasons of build up, he burdened Saul Goodman with as much as the man can bear. Taking cues from a classic episode of the original series, “4 Days Out,” Saul Goodman is stranded in the desert, forced to degradingly drink his own urine while lugging around duffle bags of cash, after a trepidatious handoff is ambushed by a rival drug cartel. Worse, he’s being chased by a surviving shooter. Gilligan loads the episode up with the distinctive visual flourish, attention to detail, and gripping tension that are the hallmarks of his work; when it comes to making standout television, Gilligan’s got it in the bag, man. 

#3. “The Phantom Apprentice” (Star Wars: The Clone Wars, Season 7, Episode 10)

There was a clear force pushing Disney to revive The Clone Wars after seven years off the air: bringing balance to the franchise. The last third of the season finally fulfilled the show’s destiny, running parallel to the events of Revenge of the Sith from the perspective of its original creation, Ahsoka Tano. The entire operatic arc rivaled the power of its cinematic counterparts, but my chosen one is its second part, in which Ahsoka and a revived Darth Maul duel above an under-siege Mandalore. The dazzling lightsaber fight was rendered using motion capture technology, providing viewers with another dizzying high ground from which to watch the fall of the Republic. 

#2. “The View from Halfway Down” (BoJack Horseman, Season 6, Episode 15)

The long-standing question of viewers of BoJack was whether it would result in tragedy or recovery; in the end, the show had its horse and ate it too. The series finale, in which BoJack makes peace in his ruined friendships, could have easily grazed this list, but I gave the edge to the penultimate episode in the horse race. “The View from Halfway Down” is a fake out, a fever dream of finality as BoJack lays drowning in his pool, but it’s no half-measure. It’s a merciless manifestation of fears and regrets, forcing BoJack to confront all the darkness he’s been running from, with the haunting sensation that, this time, he might be in too deep. It’s a brutal piece of TV viewing, but the glass is halfway full: BoJack’s at his lowest point, but the episode is Bojack at its highest. 

AND THE BEST TV EPISODE OF 2020 IS...

#1. “A Dark, Quiet Death” (Mythic Quest: Raven’s Banquet, Season 1, Episode 5)

Mythic Quest took an unexpected detour early on in its debut season, chronicling the personal and professional growth and decay of couple Doc and Bean, video game designers who originally occupied the current headquarters of the show’s regular cast. Guest stars Jake Johnson and Cristin Milioti give life to “Death,” charming viewers and each other from their meet-cute to their late-in-life reunion. It’s a surprisingly surefooted key stroke for a first season sitcom, developing the entire show’s central thesis on the strength of this standalone episode. Bean and Doc act as a cautionary tale for both the destructive power of ego and the corrosive nature of capitalism; a carved heart from the two adorns the office as an omen while the modern day characters lock horns with the same beasts. Now that’s a scrumptious bit of mythmaking. 

Believe it or not, there were movies released last year - 75 of them at the very least, as that’s how many I watched. That’s 30 less than last year, even though I spent approximately 300% more time inside my home, but I’ll cut myself some slack. 2020 may have been a loss, but there were still some real winners to come out of it. Here are the Aarons for Best Film:

#10. The Assistant

It’s a sin of omission: No name is spoken in the film. No crimes are labeled. The towering chair in the middle of the shot sits empty, and yet the dangerous jaw of the doorframe is unmistakable. Kitty Green’s office procedural is made more nauseating in its minimalism; loosely based on the Weinstein sexaul assault scandal, The Assistant counts on a viewer’s familiarity, not just with the broad strokes of abuse, but the minutiae that enables it. By following a junior employee, played by the always tactful Julia Garner, through a series of daily mundanities, Green’s film shifts the spotlight, questioning our collective culpability in creating toxic environments. Every act must be an act of rebellion, the film says, or else we are assisting.

#9. Happiest Season

Happiest Season hit a snag last year: what was set to be a landmark in wide-release studio rom-coms became another victim of a pandemic that pushed people apart for the holidays. The homey movie might have hit harder in its Hulu-Original release though, as a needed reminder of the power of patience during difficult times. Harper (Mackenzie Davis) waits too long after an invite home for Christmas to tell her girlfriend Abby (Kristen Stewart) that she’s not out to her parents, imploring they keep the relationship a secret for the time being. It’s an unreasonable ask, prompted by unjust circumstances. By honestly exploring that conflict in hilarious, heartfelt fashion, Happiest Season was the most wonderful time of an interminable year.

#8. Wolfwalkers

Wolfwakers doesn’t run in a pack with the output of other animation studios, despite sharing a similar gravitas to the best of the Disney Renaissance. The wild style of its swirling sensory colors shed realism for an immersive, uninhibited fantasy world. Formatted like a proper fairy tale, the film centers on a moral: as wolfhunter’s daughter Robyn gains the ability to transform into the animal at night, the film walks viewers through overcoming fear of “the other'' in order to identify the true monsters among us. The howl of its voice actors, backed by a repurposed single by singer Aurora, completes this captivating creation. Released on the Apple TV+ streaming service, the film can rightfully boast of being one of the best of the year, so there’s no need to buy a wolf ticket.

#7. Onward

Onward put Pixar back on a forward-thinking path after a series of skippable sequels. Like director Dan Scanlon’s previous effort, it’s a smaller-scale saga for the studio, riffing on a classic comedic conceit rather than voicing existential crises: in a modernized fantasy world, two brothers take a road trip to locate a mystical artifact that can bring their father back for one more day. The quest is Pixar at its most magical, tweaking traditional tropes and tugging at one’s heartstrings. Despite the pieces being present, the film circumvents the jealousy of “knowledge vs. natural talent” that fueled Scanlon’s Monsters University; its vulnerable, supportive, affectionate sibling relationship made Onward especially moving. 

#6. The Vast of Night

The Vast of Night plays on the vastness of imagination, tracking a young radio DJ and a switchboard operator through interviews that untangle the extraterrestrial events of their small town. In effect, the film is the Super 8 of the podcast world, plugging into the particular power of its medium by way of a retro-sci-fi adventure. For those on that wavelength, the atmospheric indie is an equally eerie and enticing beacon to the thrill of discovery. This audial focus doesn’t come at the expense of its visual format, mind you: the film’s hypnotic hold is only broken once - by the absolutely stunning construction of its midpoint tracking shot, one for the record books. 

#5. Tenet

A question of cause-and-effect: did Christopher Nolan’s newest blockbuster fall into my top five for the year, or was a new Nolan novelty destined to place there before the year even began? His filmography has been on a roll since its inception, and the director keeps that forward-momentum going with the twisty Tenet, a time-bending thriller about agents unraveling a temporal cold war. Any way you look at them, the innovative, physics-based action scenes astound. Meanwhile, the midpoint movement turns on wondrous, child-like glee. With this grand of a scale, it’s a shame that Nolan’s devotion to the big screen despite the pandemic hampered the release; it seems some of the director’s tenets are better than others.

#4. His House

The works of Jordan Peele will likely be at the forefront of a viewer’s mind during His House, but, make no mistake, the film has horrors all its own. It’s a similar set-up to Get Out: a South-Sudanese refugee couple endure the various racist micro-aggressions of trying to assimilate or accommodate to an unwelcoming environment, even before learning their government-mandated housing is haunted. While that’s the foundation, His House’s ultimate form is unexpected, linked not to the guises of progress, but to the guilt of the past. Its supernatural sequences are made more startling by the raw performance of stars Sope Dirisu and Wunmi Mosaku; they own His House. 

#3. First Cow

Behind every successful man, there stands a cow. Director Kelly Reichardt continued her career-long deconstruction of the Western last year in her best bittersweet concoction, First Cow. Pioneers Cookie and Lu seek the promise of the frontier in 1800s Oregon Country, sneaking milk from a wealthy land-owner’s cow to start an oil-cake business. The camaraderie is lovely, but that contract is a lie: the truth is a world in which only capital begets capital, where the rich are more concerned with having something than using it. Reichardt doesn’t beef up this drama with overblown conflicts, instead milking the minimalism to ‘udderly’ devastating results: they were the first, but we’ll all be waiting on that Western promise of prospect ‘til the cows come home. 

#2. The Invisible Man

Often, movies will ask viewers to look at their monsters as metaphors; sometimes, they’re just monsters through and through. The Invisible Man, an update on the classic Universal film, polishes up the original’s special effects, but makes its titular character much uglier. Bringing the invasive nature of invisibility to the surface, the film reinterprets the character as a domestic abuser, gaslighting his ex, Cecilia, from beyond his supposed grave. Elizabeth Moss makes it a must-watch, never letting the audience look away from the trauma and terror of that situation. It’s highly-disturbing horror, made more so by an ending that leaves viewers in the dark, and the craft is always phenomenal. Director Leigh Whannell clearly had vision since his very first film project, but after The Invisible Man, everyone will be saying, “Saw who?” 

AND THE BEST FILM OF 2020 IS...

#1. Straight Up

Straight Up? One of the best rom-coms of recent memory, and my favorite film of an odd year. It’s a fittingly off-beat premise after all: a young gay man and an equally-witty young woman, each struggling with intimacy in different ways, explore an unusual romantic relationship with each other. In a time when we were all cut off from connections with other people, Straight-Up reexamined internalized phobias and millennial malaise to forge new ones, uncovering the rare occurrence of a platonic ideal. With whip-smart dialogue, reflective filmmaking, and two star-making central performances, you will surely fall as in love with Straight Up as I did, and that is nothing less than My Hahn-est Opinion.

Social distancing can be emotionally draining, so let’s practice. Here’s a list of things to stay far, far away from, and you’ll feel much better for it. Here are the Aarons for Worst Film:

#10. The Grudge

The Grudge didn’t have much good-will from the get-go: the franchise’s timeline-shifting gimmick has long been a distinctive element devoid of any tension. Even with the presence of Lin Shaye and John Cho among them, the multiple eras of eerie occurrences never shake the sense of existing only out of obligation. The scares are equally as perfunctory; The Grudge startles, but doesn’t leave a mark. Director Nicolas Pesce and producer Sam Raimi just can’t bring any life back to the series. Then again, it never housed much spirit to begin with; we shouldn’t hold it against them. 

#9. Scoob!

For the first time in its 50 year history, the franchise begged a different question: Scooby-Dooby-Doo, why are you doing this? Scoob! is one of the most depressing examples of modern-minded corporate synergy, dead set on resurrecting IP no matter how ghoulish the results. The film feigns detective work, but unmasks itself early as a superhero story, breaking up the gang to promote the likes of Blue Falcon and Captain Caveman, Hanna-Barbera characters that barely built up an audience back in the day, without ever solving the mystery of why audiences should care. Its most baffling crime? Shaggy traps himself in Hell to save the day (no, not kidding…). Zoinks, Scoob!, indeed.

#8. Fantasy Island

I’m afraid one can never leave Fantasy Island! For you must see your fantasy through to its natural conclusion, but the movie doesn’t offer one, hinging entirely on a rubbish plot twist. The horror reimagining of the ‘70s TV show is all-around cheap, inviting a new group of people to live out their dreams on the mysterious locale without much spectacle or imagination. A bizarre reintroduction of classic character Tattoo is the only thing that leaves an impression. The mismatched tones of the various adventures routinely washes away any tension from the film, stranding the wannabe franchise without any fans to see. 

#7. Brahms: The Boy II

There was fun to be had in Annabelle Comes Home and the Child’s Play remake in 2019, but Brahms: The Boy II has the haunted doll genre feeling entirely played out. It certainly didn’t help that the film seemed unsure what toys were even in its sandbox; the sequel retcons supernatural origins into the series, but the doll’s antics didn’t become any more animated. Katie Holmes is the latest lead led around aimlessly as The Boy conjures expressions in audiences as vacant as his own. It was hard to imagine someone making a horror film more dull than the original, which also made this list years ago, but, boy, does Brahms make it look too easy. 

#6. Dolittle

If we could talk to the animals, they’d tell us to walk away from the latest Dolittle adaptation. Robert Downey Jr. got his post-Iron Man career off on the wrong paw as the eponymous doctor, who sets sails with his creature companions to find a cure for the Queen’s illness. The voyage is on rocky water from the very beginning, mating footage together from three different directors, and trying to rear wonder out of its lackluster CGI creations. If the climax of your hopeful-epic is pulling a set of bagpipes out of a dragon’s ass, don’t be surprised when the result is similarly crappy. 

#5. Followed

Followed asks viewers to just go along with a lot of scuzziness, but you’re better off if you don’t subscribe. Truthfully, it’s unclear how much of the found-footage film, comprised of a vlogger staying in a haunted hotel, is actually meant as satire. Even if one excuses the bad acting as commentary on YouTubers’ artificiality, knowing that the premise shamelessly exploits a real world tragedy is hard to block out. Ultimately though, the content can’t get viewers to care much one way or the other. When chasing a smart, scary social-media series, you’re better off unfriending Followed, and following the Unfriended films instead.

#4. Holidate

Watching Holidate made bringing a random stranger home for every 2020 holiday seem wise in comparison. Like most of the rom-coms Netflix presents viewers with, Holidate wraps itself up in a marketable convenience to disguise its shoddy, shallow inside. Stars Emma Roberts and Luke Bracey bump uglies with all the vulgarness of that phrase and all the enthusiasm of a Barbie and Ken doll being bashed together. The two trudge through a series of increasingly irrelevant holidays for a date before a requisite rom-com end back at Christmas, just when you thought a year couldn’t feel like more of a chore to get through.

#3. A Nice Girl Like You

Lucy Hale can get some… Get some more entries on this Worst Of list, that is! The Fantasy Island star plays a woman determined to no longer be scared by her fantasies with the help of a sexual to-do list in this film. Hale puts the “Girl” in “Nice Girl,” being entirely too young for the movie’s material, based on a middle-aged memoir, to stimulate any meaning. The central list, meanwhile, arouses mostly confusion and incredulity at the choices included. Too lifeless to let loose, Nice Girl ends up being really bad, just not in the way it had hoped.

#2. Artemis Fowl

Even with limited releases to be had, Artemis Fowl captured that good old Disney magic for always managing at least one annual unmitigated disaster. Their adaptation of the best-selling children’s novel lacks both a criminal, with a watered-down Fowl for the Disney-demographic, and a mastermind, with no one involved seeming to have re-read the book since its original publication 20 years ago. The greatest of Artemis’ fouls is Josh Gad’s Mulch Diggums, a dwarf who unhinges his jaw like a snake to dig tunnels, farting out the dirt behind him. Then again, it’s an apt-metaphor for a company determined to swallow every IP possible just to crank out crap.

AND THE WORST FILM OF 2020 IS...

#1.  After We Collided

After two Afters, it’s clear that the one direction the franchise is following is down. Rest assured, the only steaminess from this R-rated sequel to 2018’s young-adult romance is the continued gaslighting in its central relationship. The ongoing exploits of Tessa Young and Hardin Scott remain far removed from any fantasy; even looking beyond the nauseating toxicity, the series has a dreadful failure of imagination (The author’s own self-insert only aspires to being an intern at a publishing company.) The secret to the film’s appeal, as far as I can tell, seems to come only by watching After We Collided after you collide your head with a concrete wall.

Early on in lockdown, a group of celebrities banded together to sing “Imagine” to the world. Now it’s time to celebrate actors that actually did something supportive last year. Here is the Aaron for Best Supporting Film Performance:

WINNER: Viola Davis as Ma Rainey - Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom

Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom is a duet of divine performances, and while it’s effectively Boseman’s story, Davis is just as much at the bottom of the film’s success. The movie draws its tension from its close quarters, and she is in command of that room at all times. Ma Rainey holds unprecedented power for a black performer of the era, and Davis revels in those opportunities - a lip-smacking downing of a bottle of Coke is her greatest play. In bringing the historic figure to life, Davis makes the role all her own; it bears repeating, you’ve seen all the rest, now she’ll show you the best. 

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Bo Burnham as Ryan - Promising Young Woman

Burnham employs the same sheepish shtick of his musical comedy to savagely skewer the “nice guy” archetype.

Aubrey Plaza as Riley Johnson - Happiest Season

Plaza’s trademark deadpan gave good comedic counterbalance to Happiest Season, while also complicating the film’s emotional core.

Ewan McGregor as Roman Sionis - Birds of Prey

McGregor’s catty interpretation of the comic character made him an appropriate adversary for the Birds of Prey.

Toni Collette as Mother - I’m Thinking of Ending Things

Collette’s manic Mother feels ripped right from Mulholland Drive, nurturing the film’s surreal horror. 

Lots of people produced quarantine-albums last year, including me! I sing it to people that pull their mask down below their nose. It’s called “Put That Thing Back Where It Came From or So Help Me.” Here is the Aaron for Best Original Song:

WINNER: “Sway With Me” by Saweetie & GALXARA - Birds of Prey

Suicide Squad killed its own vibe with its disparate soundtrack, a cobbled-together collaboration featuring the likes of Imagine Dragons, X Ambassadors, Logic, Lil Wayne, Ty Dolla $ign, and Wiz Khalifa all on the same track. Its spin-off kept its birds of a feather however, calling out an all-female ensemble to pull the job off in high-flying fashion. The most fantabulous of these was “Sway With Me”, backed by the soaring vocals of GALXARA. Saweetie preys on the film’s plot points to pad things out from there, emancipating the “recap rap” from goofiness with a song that’s actually straight fire. With voices powerful enough to rival Black Canary, “Sway with Me” stayed fixed as the quintessential jam of last year.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

“Jaja Ding Dong” by Will Ferrell and My Marianne - Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga

The cheeky lyrics of this crowd-pleaser made it the true winner of Ferrell’s Eurovision Song Contest.

“About Love” by MARINA - To All the Boys: P.S. I Still Love You

MARINA’s pop song is the perfect bop for all of All the Boys’ target demographic to fall in love with it.

“Queen Bee” by Johnny Flynn - Emma.

Flynn, who also acted in the film, provided Emma. with a proper ballad, causing characters and audiences alike to swoon to his piteous pent-upped emotions. 

“Carried Me With You” by Brandi Carlile - Onward

Played over the end credits, Carlile’s sweet song carries the audience through the needed emotional processing to move on from its poignant finale.

It’s the Sixth Annual Aarons, celebrating the Best and Worst of Film and TV in 2020!

Direction is very important. For example, you could lead a nationwide response to a pandemic and curtail infection rates, or you could just let every state do its own thing and hope for the best. Here is the Aaron for Best Director:

WINNER: James Sweeney - Straight Up

James Sweeney has lined up an impressive resume after starring in, writing, and directing his debut feature. A twee aesthetic from a first-time indie filmmaker carries certain preconceptions, but, true to the movie’s content, Straight Up shatters those kinds of irrational revulsions. It’s the split-screen and split-diopter shots that most highlight Sweeney’s singular vision, reflecting his obsession with unusual connections and unnatural divisions. Truthfully, his calculated, colorful imagery, as shown in the film’s poster, did all the convincing I needed to watch the film. All risks involved were rewarded - after Straight Up, the sky’s the limit for Sweeney.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Leigh Whannell - The Invisible Man

Whannell’s inventive Invisible is another clear showing of the director’s upgrading talents.

Kelly Reichardt - First Cow

Reichardt kept Cow lean, enriching its oil cake entrepreneurship with sure-handed guidance. 

Oz Perkins - Gretel and Hansel

Perkins plumped up his impressive filmography with the scrumptious visual feast in Gretel and Hansel.

Christopher Nolan - Tenet

Nolan knows his craft, creating sensational set-pieces time and time again.