#the notes 2

2 March Year 19 Notes 1 (SJ)

Ten days after returning from the U.S., SeokJin and his father visit the principal’s office at his new school. SeokJin learns that he will start one grade lower due to the different education systems. SeokJin’s father grips his shoulder while the principal explains that school is a “dangerous place” that needs to be “tightly controlled.” He asks: “You know you have to keep me informed, right? You’ll be a good student, right?” SeokJin squeezes out a “yes” and his father lets go. Both ChangJun and the principal laugh. SeokJin looks down at their shining shoes, wondering from where the light is coming.

Note: SeokJin’s 25 June Year 19 entry in Notes 1 specifies that his father attended the same high school. JiMin’s 23 July Year 22 entry in Notes 2 reveals that, according to a comment he finds on an online news article, ChangJun and the principal were in school at the same time and fought with each other “as if it would only end when one of them dropped dead,” but they appeared to get along later due to politics.

3 March Year 19 BTS Universe Story: The Boy on the Threshold, ep.1

On the first day of school at Songju Jeil High School, the Dean of Students berates the six latecomers lined up outside: SeokJin, NamJoon, HoSeok, JiMin, TaeHyung, and JungKook. YoonGi arrives even later. The Dean assigns them one month of community service as punishment. When he notices SeokJin, he clears his throat and says he is letting them off because it’s the first day: they must all assemble after classes to clean the annex, a classroom turned into a storage room. This room becomes their meeting place and hideout even after their punishment is finished.

Note: Their punishment for being late is referenced in JiMin’s 12 March Year 19 entry in Notes 1, when he escapes to the old classroom again and finds the others already there. He observes that it feels as though they’ve been “hanging out together forever.” The punishment scene is also similar to a moment in the BTS Begins Middle Scene VCR. Although it includes a few extra students and cannot be confirmed as BU content, it does mirror the canonical detail of YoonGi arriving last.

28 May Year 19 Notes: Answer

In the classroom hideout, JungKook asks everyone what their dreams are because he has to write a paper about future hopes. SeokJin wants to become a good person, and YoonGi says it’s okay to have no dream. TaeHyung poses on a chair and says he’s going to be a superhero. HoSeok scolds him and adds that he wants to find his mom and live happily. JiMin asks him if he is unhappy now, and HoSeok pulls an exaggeratedly worried expression. “Is that how it works?” JiMin is flustered when HoSeok asks what his dream is and remembers that when he was in preschool he wanted to be president, but didn’t know what he wanted after that. Everyone looks at NamJoon, who shrugs and confesses that while he wants to say something nice, he doesn’t have a dream either and just wishes that his part-time job pays more. JungKook looks down at his assignment, divided into sections for “student” and “parent,” and wonders what he hopes to become. He can’t think of anything to write.

12 June Year 19 — The Sea Notes 1

YoonGi’s entry:

All seven boys cut school and decide to go to the sea. They have little money between them, so they must walk to the train station. As they leave, YoonGi almost bumps into JiMin and realizes that he is standing frozen with a trembling face. JiMin stares at a sign that reads “2.1km to Grass Flower Arboretum.” YoonGi flatly tells him that it’s too hot to go to the arboretum. He has an “instinctive feeling” that they should avoid it. He observes that JiMin walks away like a little kid, head bent and shoulders hunched.

JungKook’s entry:

The boys arrive at the beach. They hang around under a torn parasol until HoSeok holds up a discovery on his phone: a large rock that is supposed to grant your dream if you stand atop it and shout your dream out to the sea. TaeHyung encourages them to go. While they grumble in the heat on the long trek, JungKook reflects on how he had recently asked the others what their dreams were. (See 28 May Year 19.) None of them really have a dream to pursue.

YoonGi tells JungKook to stop biting his nails or else they’ll become like his. Then he asks JungKook what his dream is. Having never thought about it, JungKook doesn’t know. He hesitates and then asks what a dream is. HoSeok rattles off a few definitions from his phone. YoonGi questions, “How can something that you want to achieve most in your life and something that is unlikely to come true both be called a dream? … Don’t ever try to have a dream.” JungKook asks why. At his glance, YoonGi stops biting his nails and puts his hands in his pockets. “Because it’s tough having one.” JungKook is curious about why YoonGi bites his nails but doesn’t ask. He recalls that it has been a habit since his childhood to hurt himself. He remembers cutting his finger on a knife badly enough that his mom took him to the hospital, but she didn’t take care of him after they went home. His wound healed slowly because he kept pressing it; the pain helped him feel awake. Even now, he sometimes feels hollow.

TaeHyung asks how much longer they have to walk. HoSeok is puzzled, saying they should be close. They gaze around the empty, pebbled beach. JiMin sighs and reads aloud from an article on his phone. A resort will be built on this beach, and the construction company blew up the rock. They notice the cordoned off construction zone. They try to reassure each other to remain positive, but they all feel the disappointment of walking all that way for nothing. JungKook notices YoonGi biting his nails again and tries to stop him, but he is interrupted by a loud drilling noise. JungKook looks past him at the sea and all that remains of the dream-granting rock, the pebbles under their feet. “Is the world tough for you, too?” he asks, but YoonGi can’t hear him. JungKook screams again. “Do you want to give up on this world, too?” HoSeok and TaeHyung laugh at their mimed conversation. They all look out to the sea and shout their dreams. The drilling is so loud that they can’t hear each other. JungKook cannot even hear his own dream. When the noise stops, they cut off abruptly and laugh. SeokJin suggests that they take a photo. He sets the timer and runs to join their row, the sea behind them. They walk back to the train station. JungKook asks if he can keep the photo. SeokJin writes “June 12” on the back and gives it to him, telling him that his dream will come true. JungKook asks if SeokJin knows what he shouted to the sea, and SeokJin merely taps his shoulder and strides ahead.

BTS Universe Story : The Boy on the Threshold, ep.3

JungKook’s memory of the beach trip follows a similar structure to the scene in Notes 1, plus a notable addition. After they fail to find the dream-granting boulder, JungKook climbs up on the pier railing. He thinks: “I’ve always liked walking on the edge of walls or on top of lines. Focusing on centering my gravity means that I don’t really think of anything else, and the boundary—not quite a part of either place—always felt like where I should be.” Someone grabs his arm while he precariously balances. YoonGi tells him not to do that, and JungKook assures him that he won’t fall.

“YoonGi would often grab my arm when I walked on railings. The others would look after me, too, after seeing him do that. I liked their helping hands. It felt like they were telling me that I should go to them. That this wasn’t my place. Maybe their hands were why I walked on the railings.”

25 June Year 19 Notes 1 (SJ)

Alone in the classroom hideout, SeokJin finds a plant by the window. He takes pictures with his phone but doesn’t think they capture what the human eye sees. He notices that “HoSeok’s plant” is scribbled on the floor beneath the pot and then realizes that the window sills, walls, and ceiling are covered with graffiti and drawings, messages left behind by the students who once passed through that room. He wonders if there were past teachers who used violence and endless tests or students like him who ratted out their friends to the principal. Since his father also attended that high school, SeokJin looks for his name on the walls and finds it with a phrase written underneath: “Everything started from here.”

Note: TaeHyung, JiMin, NamJoon, and YoonGi discover several other familiar names near Kim ChangJun (SeokJin’s father) on the classroom wall in TaeHyung’s 23 July Year 22 entry from 7’s album Notes and the extended version in Notes 2.

30 August Year 19 Notes: Her

JiMin plays in HoSeok’s shadow while he is on the phone, reflecting on how HoSeok has accompanied him on the two-hour walk home since the beginning of the school semester. JiMin eventually realized that HoSeok didn’t live in the same direction but never questioned him, simply hoping that their time walking together would stretch the day out a little longer. HoSeok finishes on the phone and chases after him while the cicadas sing and their ice creams melt. Suddenly, JiMin is afraid, wondering how many of these days are left.

20 March Year 20 Notes 1 (TH)

TaeHyung sneaks up on NamJoon in the hallway by their classroom hideout. He stops when he hears SeokJin’s voice inside, apparently informing the principal about how TaeHyung and YoonGi had ditched school and got in a fight over the past few days. SeokJin throws open the door, phone in hand, and looks flustered to see NamJoon standing there. TaeHyung hides in a corner and is shocked to hear NamJoon assure him, “It’s OK. There must’ve been a good reason.” HoSeok and JiMin find TaeHyung in the hallway, and HoSeok pulls him into the classroom. NamJoon beams at TaeHyung as though nothing strange has happened. Believing that NamJoon “must have his reasons” because he is more intelligent and mature, TaeHyung decides not to tell anyone about the conversation he overheard.

15 May Year 20 Notes 1 (NJ)

NamJoon visits the classroom hideout on his last day of school. Two weeks prior, his family decided that they needed to move due to complications with his father’s health and their overdue rent. NamJoon tries to write a message on a piece of paper. He scribbles “I must survive” before the pencil lead snaps. He crumples the paper and writes in the dust on the window instead.

“No farewell message would be enough to let the others know how I felt. At the same time, no farewell message was needed to make myself understood. ‘See you again.’ It was a wish, rather than a promise.”

Note: “I must survive” is a recurring message tied to NamJoon in the BU MVs. See also 17 December Year 21.

7 June Year 20 Notes: Persona

TaeHyung’s two month old puppy Dubu slips out of the leash and disappears while he is distracted on his phone. TaeHyung runs around the neighborhood looking for him, first angry at the puppy and then blaming himself. When Dubu returns on his own, TaeHyung is filled with the unfamiliar feeling that he is someone who can be relied on.

11 June Year 20 BTS Universe Story: The Boy on the Threshold, ep.5 Everyone’s Place

In the classroom hideout, JungKook listens to YoonGi playing the piano. The sound of the music makes him feel as if YoonGi understands how he feels and is trying to console him. The Dean of Students forces the door open, demanding why they are there. He berates and slaps JungKook, knocking him to the floor. YoonGi steps between them and shoves the teacher’s shoulder. The dean warns him that he had better be prepared for the consequences of putting his hands on a teacher and then leaves. Despite his throbbing cheek, JungKook smiles because it is the first time someone has protected him, and the feeling of getting closer to YoonGi makes him giddy. For the next two weeks, YoonGi does not come to school.

25 June Year 20 Notes 1

JungKook’s entry:

JungKook tries to play the piano in the classroom hideout, unable to make it sound like YoonGi did. He reflects on the rumor that YoonGi was expelled after the events of 11 June and wonders if YoonGi would still be here playing the piano if JungKook had not been there that day when the teacher appeared.

YoonGi’s entry:

Breathing hard, YoonGi arrives at his bedroom, removes a half-burned piano key from an envelope in his desk drawer, and throws it into the trash can. He remembers a day four years ago when he returned to their burned down home and found a skeleton of the piano where his mother’s room used to stand. He noticed several piano keys on the ground and took one of them, wondering what note it was and how many times her fingers touched it. In the present, YoonGi thinks how unbearable living under his father’s rule is and recalls what happened that day: he is officially expelled from school. He picks up the piano key again and hurls it out the window.

“I couldn’t hear the piano key hit the ground. Now I’d never know what note it made. It’d never make a sound again. I’d never play the piano again.”

17 July Year 20 Notes 1 (SJ)

At the end of the last school day before summer vacation, SeokJin tries to leave quickly but is hailed by HoSeok and JiMin. No one knows that he was pressured by the principal and revealed their hideout, which led to JungKook and YoonGi being discovered (11 June) and the latter’s expulsion (25 June). HoSeok wishes SeokJin a good vacation and to keep in touch, but he can’t reply.

“My first day at this school crossed my mind as I passed through the school gate. We were all late and got punished. But we were together, so we could laugh together. I had ruined all those memories we shared.”

Note: Variations of the sentiment “we can laugh when we’re together” recur throughout BU.

15 September Year 20 Notes 1 (HS)

In the hospital emergency room, HoSeok wants to explain how JiMin had a seizure at the bus stop to his mother, Sim SeonMi. When the doctors wheel JiMin’s bed out, HoSeok begins to follow until SeonMi thanks him and touches his shoulder. He feels like she has drawn a line between them that he cannot cross. He falls to the floor, and when he looks up, JiMin’s bed is gone.

Note: The name of JiMin’s mother is specified in his BTS Universe Story arc, Stopped Time. JiMin’s 11 May Year 22 entry in Notes 1 reflects that he blacked out at the bus stop after seeing the window of the Grass Flower Arboretum shuttle bus open. His 12 August Year 22 entry in Notes 2 reveals the real cause of JiMin’s seizure at the bus stop: he sees the boy that he left behind at the arboretum warehouse on 6 April Year 11. Though the boy’s empty eyes no longer speak to JiMin, this chance encounter awakens his memories of that day.

28 September Year 20 Notes: Her and Smeraldo Books Twitter

JiMin, heavily medicated, has lost track of how long he has been back in the hospital. But he considers this a special day because he lies to the doctor for the first time about not remembering anything.

Note: He is lying about not remembering what triggered his seizure at the bus stop on 15 September and/or what happened at the Grass Flower Arboretum when he was a kid (see Notes 2 comments above). This lie is also referenced in his 11 May Year 22 entry in Notes 1.

30 September Year 20 Notes 1 (JK)

A teacher hits JungKook with an attendance book when he refuses to admit that he still visits the classroom hideout, reminding him of when YoonGi was beaten. Later, JungKook stands outside the room and imagines that the others are waiting for him on the other side. He opens the door to only find HoSeok, clearing out what remains of their belongings. HoSeok walks him out, and JungKook realizes that those days are gone and will never come again.

25 February Year 21 Notes: Her (HS)

HoSeok watches himself dance in the mirror. He has danced since he was around twelve and discovered an ecstasy that came from inside himself. Outside of the mirror, HoSeok is a person who collapses everywhere and takes medicine he doesn’t need, who smiles even when he hates it and isn’t happy. But when he dances, he truly becomes himself, casting away all that weighs him down and feeling that he can become happy.

2 May Year 21 Notes: Persona (JK)

Biking along the Yangjicheon riverbank, JungKook thinks about how his friends left him one by one and that no one at home or in the world smiles at him anymore. He stops in the shadows under a bridge. Nobody comes to this kind of ruined place, and maybe that is the reason no one comes to him either. He feels most comfortable alone in the complete darkness where no one will look for him and wants the moment to never end.

9 August Year 21 Notes: Persona (SJ)

SeokJin walks along a Los Angeles beach and photographs the ocean. It has been a year since he fled Songju and moved to his mother’s family’s home, where he grew up as a child. He doesn’t photograph people anymore and didn’t bring any photos from high school with him, afraid to remember who he was at that time or to wonder about how his friends are doing and whether they still think of him.

17 December Year 21 Notes 1 (NJ)

This lengthy entry details events that transpired since the autumn of Year 20 when NamJoon’s family moved to the village, framed by moments on 17 December itself as NamJoon leaves on his own. His family chooses this village because it has a nearby hospital for his ailing father and employers who will hire someone without a high school diploma. NamJoon serves as a delivery boy for an eatery, competing for work with the other local boys. They grow a strange sense of solidarity, and he privately dubs one of them “TaeHyung,” even though the boy’s discontent, outward behavior is more akin to YoonGi’s. (Quotation marks added to the name here for clarity.) Competition slackens when snow falls in winter. NamJoon and “TaeHyung” are the only ones poor enough to risk the road up to the mountain town’s rest area when orders are phoned to the village below. On an afternoon forecast to have heavy snowfall, the restaurant owner dismisses “TaeHyung” due to his bruised face and gives the deliveries to NamJoon. The old delivery scooter fishtails on NamJoon’s third trip down the mountain, throwing him off. More anxious about the scratched scooter than his cut ankle and aching body, NamJoon finally gets it to restart and returns to the eatery. “TaeHyung,” who has been hanging around this whole time, approaches and asks for a favor. Before he can answer, NamJoon receives a call from his mother relaying that his father went outside alone and fell, requiring a trip to the hospital. NamJoon understands that his father was only trying to keep his dignity but is still frustrated because he can’t earn any more much-needed money this day. He hands “TaeHyung” the keys and leaves to take his father to the hospital.

The next day, NamJoon learns that “TaeHyung” was in a fatal accident during one of the deliveries up the mountain. The police officer blames him for being a poor driver and not wearing a helmet. NamJoon does not speak up that he has never seen the helmet the owner now has placed out on the counter. He visits the scene of the accident, thinking that the white outline on the road could be his if he was the one to make the next delivery—just as it could be his family mourning in the village instead of “TaeHyung’s” mother. On a later trip carrying his father home from the bus stop, NamJoon pretends not to hear his father’s frail voice over the noise of barking dogs. A week after that, NamJoon is making steady deliveries up the mountain. During what is ultimately his last delivery, he speaks with a stranger at the rest area, who cautions him to take care. “Do you know what’s really dangerous? Calcium chloride and wet leaves, not the snow itself,” the stranger blurts as NamJoon departs. NamJoon drives carefully back, not looking at the scene of the accident. This is not out of safety, as he tries to convince himself, but guilt: guilt for surviving, for his relief of being the one alive, for not defending “TaeHyung’s” driving skills. He also wonders if he is “a hypocrite pretending to have a guilty conscience.” Because he scattered wet leaves and sprinkled calcium chloride to prevent the road from icing over where he fell that afternoon, believing that he would be making the next delivery. If he did not do both those things, would “TaeHyung” be alive?

Mind and body numb, NamJoon makes it home from the delivery detached from the world around him. The barking dogs snap him out of the daze, and he remembers his father’s words that he pretended not to hear and dwelled on daily despite trying not to think about them: “Go, NamJoon. You must survive.” The next morning (17 December), NamJoon sneaks away to the bus stop. He is running away from his family’s misfortunes, from his own resignation to his fate, from poverty. The bus is scheduled to arrive in Songju in a few hours—the city he left with no notice and is returning to once more with the same. NamJoon wonders if his old friends still live there and how they are doing. On the frosted window, he writes with his finger: “I must survive.”

Note: The village boy’s real name is JongHun according to NamJoon’s 12 June Year 22 entry in Notes 2, which also reveals that he visited JongHun’s home to give his condolences before he left town.

1 February Year 22 Notes: 7 (SJ)

Summoned by his father without explanation, SeokJin flies back to Korea from Los Angeles. Although he has addresses in both LA and Songju, neither place feels like his home.

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Update Log

Posted May 5, 2021

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A (rare) happy set in time for the holidays. Wishing you good health, peace, and joy wherever you can find it at the close of this difficult year. ♡

~

[I probably could have condensed this passage further, but I love it so much that I wanted to share it in full. Extra images and comments follow.]

“I bent over the piano and rummaged through what was under the piano frame with my hands. The scores were buried in the corner. I’d forgotten. I’d put them there. I couldn’t throw them away or keep them—music, the scores, piano, and myself.

And I remembered that night. The day I came running to this place, the day when my expulsion was decided. The day when I was given the verdict that I was no longer allowed into this classroom. I got drunk, and feeling desperate, I came running here. I didn’t know why I felt so desperate then. It was fear; without this place, I would never do or play music again. I was desperate to find out that that would not be the case.

… I was afraid of pressing down on a key, and it seemed impossible to play. The piano was pushing me away.

I pressed down on the keys harder. Meaningless notes echoed in what used to be our lair. I got mad and started to press any key and screamed, ‘That’s not the emotion!’

Suddenly, I stopped. My mom had said that. The words I hated to hear most. I tried playing the note that had disappeared in my life. I couldn’t move my fingers. It was the note that was everywhere in my music scores, the note that I didn’t even think about when I played the piano with my friends, and the note that I couldn’t play anymore after being made to dread it.

I couldn’t remember what I felt that night. I could’ve felt hopeless or felt like giving up. I returned to my place and threw away my mom’s piano keyboard that I had salvaged from the burned down house. And I decided I would never play the piano again.

In hindsight, it was a stupid thing to do. Nothing changed just because I had thrown away my mom’s keyboard. I couldn’t stop playing the piano or give up music. But since that day, I hadn’t played that note. The note was nowhere in the music I wrote.

… I looked down on the scores under the piano frame. I played a melody that was on the scores. It sounded strange from the piano out of tune. The strange sound became a strange melody and strange music.

Memories of my high school days trickled out with the melody. … Everyone’s laughter filled our lair, and SeokJin captured it all with his camera. I also recorded that day in my own way. The day when we’d all laughed together, the happiest day of our lives, and the time we spent together. It was in my music.

And after playing a note, I stepped back from the piano feeling as if electrocuted or my fingertips were on fire. For a moment, I was cut off from all my memories with my hands frozen in midair. Chills went down my back. It was that note—the one that I’d thrown away with my mom’s keyboard and made disappear from my life.”

— YoonGi, 13 June Year 22. The Notes 2.

.𝄐.

A few notes:

Yes, I know that one of these things is not like the others! In Blood, Sweat, & Tears, YoonGi playing the organ parallels the character Pistorius in Demian: The Story of Emil Sinclair's Youth by Hermann Hesse, a novel frequently referenced in the Wings era.

Speaking of Wings era: the short films share a handful of recurring images between them, one of which is the burning piano. The fourth gif is made from JungKook’s film Begin, but a very similar shot appears in JiMin’s Lie, too.

The Japanese version of Blood, Sweat, & Tears also includes a few shots of YoonGi and a piano in the covered alley. They are short or partially obscured by JiMin running away from him, so I decided to simply include a screenshot below.

YoonGi plays the piano alongside JungKook towards the end of I Need U, but for whatever reason the piano itself is never visible in the shots. I’ve used that scene elsewhere, including their Kindred : Comfort set and Youth : Joy.

In his 25 July Year 15 Notes entry accompanying the Map of the Soul: 7 album, YoonGi grows frustrated with his mother’s scolding during a piano lesson. She questions if he should be composing if he can’t play Chopin correctly and tells him he’s not playing the right emotion. He finally yells at her to stop and throws one of her trophies at the piano, breaking a key.

.𝄐.

[Year 9]

Jung HoSeok (age 7) is abandoned by his mother at an amusement park and moves into an orphanage. His age is referenced in his 31 May Year 22 entry from Notes: Her.

The earliest entry of the Notes published so far is HoSeok’s 30 August Year 9 (Notes: 7). Some older boys wake him up at night, and he reluctantly sneaks up to the rooftop with them. Fireworks explode in the sky. HoSeok is shocked at first and then entranced. The older boys tease him for crying, but he can’t stop the tears.

Note: It’s reasonable to assume that this unidentified rooftop location is the orphanage HoSeok grows up in. Therefore, his mother left him sometime before 30 August—possibly that summer, due to his unexplained tears. 

10 October Year 9 Notes 1 (SJ)

Kim SeokJin (age 9) runs away from school with a friend to protect him from men who want to use him as leverage to get money from his father, Mr. Choi, who disappeared after his company shut down. SeokJin tries to hide the friend in his room at home, but his father, Kim ChangJun, arrives with one of the men and allows him to take the boy away. ChangJun tells SeokJin to be a “good kid.” The friend never returns to school.

Note: SeokJin’s age is specified in BTS Universe Story: The Boy on the Threshold, ep.3.

28 February Year 10 Notes: 7 (TH)

Kim TaeHyung encounters an older boy feeding the dog that he frequently plays with outside of the supermarket. He tells the boy that when his father earns a lot of money and moves their family into a big house, he can take the dog and raise him. After TaeHyung presses him a second time, the boy reveals that his name is Kim SeokJin.

23 July Year 10 Notes 1 (HS)

While counting in front of his class, HoSeok recalls the day at the amusement park when his mother handed him a chocolate bar and told him to close his eyes and count to ten. He feels like she will never come looking for him if he finishes counting to ten, and then he collapses.

Note: His mother abandoned him at the amusement park when he was seven (Year 9).

29 December Year 10 Notes 1 (TH)

TaeHyung’s father returns home drunk and disheveled after an absence and abuses him for the first time.

6 April Year 11 Related post: The Arboretum Notes 1 (JM)

Park JiMin (age 8) visits the Grass Flower Arboretum on a school picnic day. While his classmates are all accompanied by their mothers, his own parents are too busy to make it. At the end of the trip, he ignores his teacher’s call to wait and tries to walk home alone. With only his backpack in hand, he is caught in a torrential downpour and seeks shelter in a small warehouse near the back gate. JiMin wakes up in a hospital after he is found unconscious in the arboretum with no memory of what happened. He develops seizures as a result of this unnamed trauma and is frequently hospitalized as he grows up.

Note: This day is also referenced in his entries for 11 May, 19 May, and 4 July of Year 22; the lattermost specifies his age.

Notes 2 (JM)

JiMin reflects on what really transpired at the arboretum in his 12 August Year 22 entry, which also reveals that his memory returned due to a chance encounter on 15 September Year 20. Inside the dark and cluttered warehouse, young JiMin falls asleep and is awoken by an iron door clanging shut and the sound of someone breathing. He discovers an interior room and creeps closer. A small, pale hand appears on the other side, startling him. Someone whistles outside and opens the warehouse door. He hides under a desk and watches a man enter the interior room. Through the man’s legs, JiMin can see a small boy lying on the floor with bruised arms and legs and scars on his wrists from being tied up too long. Their eyes briefly meet. JiMin senses that he is asking for help. The man turns around, and the boy stabs his thigh with a boxcutter before he notices JiMin hiding. The man disarms the boy and slams the door shut. JiMin escapes the warehouse under the cover of the violent noises within. No one is around to help. He runs through the pouring rain and mud, frequently falling and scraping his knees. He collapses at the back gate with an image of the boy’s bleeding hand in his mind. He wakes up at the hospital surrounded by his parents, a doctor, and a nurse. They question him about what happened, but JiMin does not remember.

Note: In the same 12 August Year 22 entry, JiMin explains that he conducted research online into the incident. He learned that the boy’s family name is Choi, he was five at the time, and he was discovered near Hwayong Mountain on April 10 suffering from temporary amnesia caused by shock. JiMin could not find any follow-up articles on the police investigation. Additionally, he reveals the real cause of his seizure at the bus stop on 15 September Year 20: he saw the same boy in the window of the Grass Flower Arboretum shuttle bus. “His empty eyes no longer spoke” to JiMin.

21 July Year 12 Notes 1 (SJ)

After his mother’s death, SeokJin is sent by his father to live with his maternal grandmother in the U.S. (The city is specified as Los Angeles in his 1 February Year 22 entry from Notes: 7.) His father breaks his promise to see him off at the airport.

30 September Year 12 Notes: 7 (JK)

Jeon JungKook (age 7) slips through a crowd of people surrounding a massive sinkhole, wanting to see what’s inside of it. Dirt crumbles beneath his sneaker and he almost loses his balance at the edge. When he steps back, he sees something that is both like a light and another hole inside the hole.

Note: Compare to his Notes 2 Epilogue, XX XX Year XX, when he sees a bottomless hole below and the moon (or “a big hole in the sky”) above where he floats.

[Winter Year 12] Notes 1 (JK)

JungKook (age 7) overhears his father telling his mother that the world “was too heavy for him to bear” and that “there’s nothing he can do for JungKook.” He leaves their family forever.

Note: I calculated this season/year from his 11 September Year 17 entry, in which JungKook has waited ten days to receive a birthday card from his father; he has four cards saved in a drawer. (This also matches his real-life age difference with Jin.) He reflects on his father leaving him during the winter when he was 7 years old. He believes: “I was the world that was too heavy for him to bear—that world that he gave up on. A child who can never be the reason to endure it all. That was me.”

21 May Year 15 Notes: 7 (NJ)

Kim NamJoon returns home late from playing with his friends. The house is unusually dark and empty, giving him a chilling sense of foreboding. The phone rings and he senses that if he answers it, his life will forever change.

Note: It is likely that this is one of the times, if not the first time, his father is hospitalized due to a serious illness. About a year later, in his 21 June Year 16 entry of Notes 1, NamJoon describes how he coaxed his boss to hire a middle school student to post flyers. His family struggles financially with his father’s hospital bills and their overdue utilities.

19 September Year 16 Notes 1 (YG)

Min YoonGi arrives home and finds it devoured by flames. Frozen, he thinks of his mom and watches the house collapse. A neighbor asks him if his mom is inside, and he answers “no” without thinking. YoonGi’s mother dies in the fire.

Note: Some people suspect that YoonGi’s mother set the fire deliberately. In episode 6 of the Save Me webtoon, YoonGi recalls his father warning him against pursuing music unless he wants to “go crazy and kill [himself] like [his] mom did.”

2 May Year 18 Notes: Persona (NJ)

NamJoon and his father return home from the hospital to see the family’s belongings piled outside. They were evicted after his younger brother NamHyeon got in a fight with the landlord’s son who came to collect their overdue rent. The owner of the local supermarket allows them to move into its storage room. Exhausted, NamJoon snaps when his mother frets and asks where his brother is. The supermarket owner gives him a can of beer. In a later Notes 2 entry, he reflects that he was probably 16 at the time.

Note: On 18 June Year 22 in the Notes 2 timeline, NamJoon recounts this story to SeokJin at a street pub as a preface to asking when SeokJin drank alcohol for the first time, testing his memory.

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Update Log

Posted January 13, 2021

Linked to next part added May 5, 2021