Feb 27, 2024
Beau: Ah yes, the two genders *points at Caleb* “I no longer wish to be perceived” and *points at Molly* “I have to be the most fuckable person at the grocery store”
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Beau: Ah yes, the two genders *points at Caleb* “I no longer wish to be perceived” and *points at Molly* “I have to be the most fuckable person at the grocery store”
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‘ are you in love with me yet? ’
She glides past him, a vision in pink. Twirling around so the layers of pink chiffon float around her with every movement. She looks amazing. Everyone does. But Jester... Who isn't a little bit in love with Jester Lavorre?
Maybe it's his smart new outfit, the one she had chosen for him, but he was feeling just a little braver than usual.
Fjord steps up, doffs his hat and bows before her, offering Jester his free hand. "my lady" he begins, being every bit as charming as the heroes in the books she reads, because maybe for one night she should feel as though she's caught up in one. "would you do me the honour of accompanying me this evening?"
what the fuck taliesin?
Caduceus: if you bite it and you die, it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous
Fjord: what if it bites me and it dies?
Caleb: then you’re poisonous. Christ, Fjord, learn to listen
Jester: what if it bites itself and I die?
Beau: that’s voodoo
Nott: what if it bites me and someone else dies?
Caleb: that’s correlation, not causation
Jester: what if we bite each other and neither of us die?
Beau: that’s kinky
Caduceus: I give up
Molly: Spellcasters hate this fact, but if you just stick your fingers in their mouth while they’re casting a spell with a verbal component, it’s literally more effective than a counter spell
Molly: this also works by pinning their hands against the wall when they’re trying to use somatic components
Molly: Basically, if you make out sloppy style while pressed against a wall, the spellcaster can’t do anything
Fjord:
Fjord: and might I ask how you discovered this?
Caleb, very red: *takes a step backward*
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Essek: Caleb and I are no longer dating.
Caleb: Essek, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married.
Caduceus: my parents had taught me to be nice first, because you can always be mean later. But once you’ve been mean to someone, they won’t believe the nice anymore. So be nice. Be nice, until it’s time to stop being nice. And then destroy them
The Nein:
Beau: Cad, what the FUCK
Caduceus: being alive Is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté
Caduceus: but then there are also the horrors