i wanted so very bad to be your friend. did you know i play the games you used to? did you know it's the closest i can get to you? when you locked me away i was so scared. i remember so much of what you did to me. and then i saw how other brothers play and you and andre and i kept thinking what horrible rule i broke that made you lock me out of play too. why were we never playing together? why were you always playing by yourself hurting me? i have never stopped crying about it. can you laugh a little bit? i am crying. can you laugh at anything i do on purpose? my mom tells me no one defends me like you but i never felt protected. last summer i missed you. you don't know how much i hate the season but maybe you knew how much i liked spending it with you. when you look at the sea, just for a bit, do you remember the three of us and the tent? i have no memory of what you looked like back then. to this day i look at the ocean and feel you missing.
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