#the jkr

OK so here’s my thinking: I kind of understand that The JKR had kind of a hard shitty life, and found that being a woman held her back while she put in tremendous effort into filing the serial numbers off of any number of pre-existing ‘young chosen one becomes a wizard & finds there’s a secret hidden world of wizards & fights a bad guy’ titles.

And she eventually gets successful. Like ‘buy an island’ successful.

And she looks around and... there’s some dude who goes ‘I’m a woman now, rights plz’ and suddenly everyone is campaigning and going ‘Trans Rights Are Human Rights’ and The JKR has One Bad Day over it.

Down one trouser leg of time, she has a think about it and goes “Well crikey! It certainly sucked when it was happening to me [Pause to order a gold plated singing crocodile off of the secret Rich people’s amazon]. Perhaps I should support this and maybe less people will have to go through what I went through. 

You know what, I think I’ll get on twitter and announce uhhhhh that Wizards, having polymorph capability, and who often turn into animals, or change shape for fun, often switch gender until they find one that they’re comfortable with and that Snape was actually born a girl, and changed to a boy because he tried to date James Potter and got turned down and that’s why he hated him. Nice.”

And down the other leg, where 2020 was lurking like Cthulhu in a swimming pool?

She goes “...wat? NO. NO NOPE NYET NEIN NERP FUCKKEN STOP THAT. Only women can be women error does not compute! NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO CHANGE! I DIDN’T READ MY OWN WORDS! EVERYTHING IS SET IN STONE! ONLY THOSE WHO BLEED CAN BE FEMALE! Skree! Skree”