Piano man:

Definitely considerable size. Enough to make you ache a little bit but not anything that’s absolutely going to destroy you. He’s got more length than girth i think. Probably somewhere around 7 inches hard. I always try to be somewhat reasonable with these. Some people really come out here and say everyone’s got an 8-9 inch dick and i just don’t think that’s reasonable or plausible. So yeah… I’m going to say about 7 inches when hard. It’s got a nicely flushed pink head, and it curves up a little bit. He’s got a small vein running up the left side. Piano man’s skill comes not from his length however, but from his knowledge of how to use that thing. That man is packing a weapon and a nice cock isn’t the only thing under his belt. He has EXPERIENCE. I think he’s well trimmed as far as grooming goes. He likes to keep things neat down there.

Albatross:

Listen i don’t think this man is exactly packing… but he’s got energy okay? He’ll give it his all. I’ll average him out at about six inches when hard. He’s got a little more girth than length but nothing painful. But like- he’s got a NICE set of balls. That man was meant to Breed and I’ll say it as it is. His tip is always nice and flushed when he gets aroused, it will get a deep pink. He curves to the left very subtly but it’s not terribly noticeable. He’s super sensitive just below his head on the underside and if you rub it with your thumb he’ll yelp. Sometimes he gets a little too rough with the thrusts in bed so you have to tap him and tell him to chill the fuck out. He gets a little over excited. Probably once thrusted you straight off the bed into the floor. As far as grooming goes i don’t think it’s something he pays a whole lot of mind to, but he’s also not really a person who naturally grows much. If you have a problem with it and tell him to trim it he absolutely will.

Lippmann:

Pretty dick for a pretty boy. That shit looks delicate. It’s all tinted a very faint cute pink with a nice red head. Very little body hair. He’s got a very small amount of fuzz but it’s more like peach fuzz than anything. He’s got a dick that was meant for the screen. If he ever decided to stop acting in movies he’d be great in porn. Anywho- 👀… his balls aren’t especially big or heavy either, they’re a good size. He’s got a little vein on the underside of his cock, but it’s nothing huge. I think he’s got a bit of experience under his belt, but not as much as you would expect him to have. Lippmann could probably get laid with a different woman every night of the week if he wanted to but he chooses not to. He prefers to be in a relationship with whoever he’s fucking except for rare occasions. Lippmann believes in romance but sometimes even he gets pent up and needs a good fuck. His dick is probably suuuper sensitive though so it’s really easy to flip him over and get him moaning and squirming. He’s a good switch. He prefers gentle touches over super firm ones. They just get him going more.

Doc:

Probably has the smallest in the group but PLEASE do not sell this man short. He’s insecure enough already, god forbid you said anything. He probably takes months to work up to taking off his clothes in front of you. If you make a comment on his dick he may just put them right back on and leave. Leave the room. Leave the house. Leave the relationship. Please treat this man with care. He’s not big in the sex scene but he desperately craves that intimacy- but that’s not what this is about. I think doc is probably 4.5-5 inches when hard, and he curves a little bit to the left. His dick is pretty pale which makes his veins more evident, and his tip flushed a pale pink, almost purple when he’s aroused. He’s sensitive- but i imagine he’s sensitive most everywhere, not just his cock. He really likes when you focus your attention on the head when giving him handjobs/blowjobs. And let’s be honest- those little hips are GRIPPABLE. But like please be gentle because he’s fragile. You normally end up having to ride him. But, even though his dick game isn’t spectacular. You should know those surgeons hands MORE than make up for it. He knows how to have you seeing stars in minutes, and sometimes when he knows he doesn’t have the strength to thrust into you, he pulls you up to lay across his lap in bed and just- sends you to god with his hands. He’s another one who i don’t think is especially well groomed, it’s just not something he cares to do because he isn’t usually worried about sleeping with anyone. If you ask him to, though. He will.

Iceman:

Listen. This man is HUGE. And he is girthy too. Iceman is the definition of ‘can split you in two’. He’s about 8.5 inches when hard and he’s got a heavy pair of balls that will undoubtedly smack against you when he’s going to town. This man is always gentle when you two are in bed together, though. He knows how big he is and he doesn’t plan to play around with that. Hes well aware he can hurt you. So he always goes slow, and asks if you’re okay once he’s about half way inside you. He stops and asks again once he’s fully inside, and only then does he start moving. His thrusts are always somewhat gentle and slow until you tell him (beg him) to speed up. He usually speeds up on his own towards the end when he’s really chasing his high however. Overall doing it with iceman is a 10/10 experience.

I think i figured out how to make it WORK.

Listen. This man is HUGE. And he is girthy too. Iceman is the definition of ‘can split you in two’. He’s about 8.5 inches when hard and he’s got a heavy pair of balls that will undoubtedly smack against you when he’s going to town. This man is ALWAYS gentle when you two have sex though. He knows how big he is and he doesn’t plan to play around with that. Hes well aware he can hurt you. So he always goes slow, and asks if you’re okay once he’s about half way inside you. He stops and asks again once he’s fully inside, and only then does he start moving. His thrusts are always somewhat gentle and slow until you tell him (beg him) to speed up. He usually speeds up on his own towards the end when he’s really chasing his high however. Overall sex with iceman is a 10/10 experience.

Listen. This man is HUNG. HUNG. And he is girthy too. Iceman is the definition of ‘cab split you in two’. He’s about 8.5 inches when hard and he’s got a heavy pair of balls that will undoubtedly smack against you when he’s going to town. This man is ALWAYS gentle when you two have sex though. He knows how big he is and he doesn’t plan to play around with that. Hes well aware he can hurt you. So he always goes slow, and asks if you’re okay once he’s about half way inside you. He stops and asks again once he’s fully inside, and only then does he start moving. His thrusts are always somewhat gentle and slow until you tell him (beg him) to speed up. He usually speeds up on his own towards the end when he’s really chasing his high however. Overall sex with iceman is a 10/10 experience.

Probably has the smallest in the group but PLEASE do not sell this man short. He’s insecure enough already, god forbid you said anything. He probably takes months to work up to taking off his clothes in front of you. If you make a comment on his dick he may just put them right back on and leave. Leave the room. Leave the house. Leave the relationship. Please treat this man with care. He’s not big in the sex scene but he desperately craves that intimacy- but that’s not what this is about. I think doc is probably 4.5-5 inches when hard, and he curves a little bit to the left. His dick is pretty pale which makes his veins more evident, and his tip flushed a pale pink, almost purple when he’s aroused. He’s sensitive- but i imagine he’s sensitive most everywhere, not just his cock. He really likes when you focus your attention on the head when giving him handjobs/blowjobs. And let’s be honest- those little hips are GRIPPABLE. But like please be gentle because he’s fragile. You normally end up having to ride him. But, even though his dick game isn’t spectacular. You should know those surgeons hands MORE than make up for it. He knows how to have you seeing stars in minutes, and sometimes when he knows he doesn’t have the strength to thrust into you, he pulls you up to lay across his lap in bed and just- sends you to god with his hands. He’s another one who i don’t think is especially well groomed, it’s just not something he cares to do because he isn’t usually worried about sleeping with anyone. If you ask him to, though. He will. 0. Iceman: Listen. This man is HUNG. HUNG. And he is girthy too. Iceman is the definition of ‘cab split you in two’. He’s about 8.5 inches when hard and he’s got a heavy pair of balls that will undoubtedly smack against you when he’s going to town. This man is ALWAYS gentle when you two have sex though. He knows how big he is and he doesn’t plan to play around with that. Hes well aware he can hurt you. So he always goes slow, and asks if you’re okay once he’s about half way inside you. He stops and asks again once he’s fully inside, and only then does he start moving. His thrusts are always somewhat gentle and slow until you tell him (beg him) to speed up. He usually speeds up on his own towards the end when he’s really chasing his high however. Overall sex with iceman is a 10/10 experience.

Listen. This man is HUNG. HUNG. And he is girthy too. Iceman is the definition of ‘cab split you in two’. He’s about 8.5 inches when hard and he’s got a heavy pair of balls that will undoubtedly smack against you when he’s going to town. This man is ALWAYS gentle when you two have sex though. He knows how big he is and he doesn’t plan to play around with that. Hes well aware he can hurt you. So he always goes slow, and asks if you’re okay once he’s about half way inside you. He stops and asks again once he’s fully inside, and only then does he start moving. His thrusts are always somewhat gentle and slow until you tell him (beg him) to speed up. He usually speeds up on his own towards the end when he’s really chasing his high however. Overall sex with iceman is a 10/10 experience.

((I LOVE HOW IN THE FIRST DRAFT OF THIS ICEMAN’S JUST GOT DELETED FOR SOME REASON AFTER I POSTED IT? FUCK U TUMBLR- ugh I’ll try again later-))

Listen. This man is HUNG. He’s HUNG. Alright? I’m talking like 8.5 inches hard and he’s got GIRTH. This man will split you in fucking two. He’s got those heavy balls too. Overall this man just has monster cock energy. But like- listen. He’s super gentle in bed. He knows he’s big, and it’s not something he has a huge ego about. He’s way more aware of the fact that he could easily hurt you if he isn’t careful, because honestly everything about him is big compared to you. Sex with iceman is often filled with a lot of gentle questions of whether or not your okay. He always slows down once he’s about half way inside you to make sure you’re doing alright, and once he’s sure he still moves slowly unless you request him to speed up. His thrusts are always careful and gentle up until the end when he gets a little carried away. Sex with iceman is 10/10 let’s be real.