#thatscomplex

“Yeah,” she answered, “of course it was in the last place she looked.  What?  Oh, for…

Look, I can't do this fucking shit again,” she sighed into the phone.  “Either she meets us on time or we’ll wait for her by the Steven Universe booth after the panel, or… I dunno, we can do whatever you wanna do…”

Just that moment there was a knock on her guest room door.  Her friend answered it.  It was their Raven.  Finally they could get over to the convention center.

After the first panel, Cosima stood in mute frustration as the rest of the group took forever to decide whether to go back to the hotel or eat somewhere near the center before the afternoon panel.  She was tired of the endless back-and-forth without a decision.  She didn't really care, but if she didn't get James Marster’s signature on her Funko Pop box, she was going to be pissed.  Maybe she should take off by herself.

“I’ve gotta go to the bathroom,” she mumbled, and headed to the loo.  Of course there was a huge line.

“Excuse me,” she heard behind her, and turned around.  “Is this the line for the bathroom, or for the ‘Men We Don't Care About on Orphan Black’ panel?” the woman asked with an incredibly sexy French accent, and Cosima briefly forgot how to speak.  The tall blonde was gorgeous, even with the fake wounds and dirt on her face.  She had gotten the costume just right, and it flattered her, the thin braids and locks woven into her loose, golden mane somehow looking hot, rather than unhygenic, and her tight pants emphasizing her perfect ass.  A swoon-worthy smile stretched across the woman's face as Cosima failed to produce words for a moment.

“I, eum, I like your costume,” the ridiculously attractive woman said, and reached out to lightly touch where Cosima’s large shoulder piece connected to her cape.  “You’re the best Lexa I've seen today.  I think we go together well.”

Cosima fought back her disbelief and panic.  This woman was not flirting with her.  It was not possible.

“You… you’re a really good Clarke,” she finally pushed out.  

“Delphine,” the woman offered, and held out her hand to shake.  “Enchantée.”

“Cosima,” the brunette answered, just remembering to wipe her sweaty palm on her cape before touching the French woman’s inviting, long, fingers.  She had the kind of hands that looked like she knew how to use them.  “Enchantée,” Cosima tried, through a smile she couldn't hold back.

Delphine leaned forward, close enough that her breath played across Cosima’s lips.  “You know,” she began in a low, suggestive tone, “that war paint looks really good on you.  Maybe we should go… get some pictures taken together?”

Several hours later, Cosima’s cosplay “wife” stood agog at the door of the hotel room, where she had left her purse.

“Yes!  Yes!” an accented voice was ringing out through the door and halfway down the hallway.  “Pound me!  Fuck my slick folds, Cosima, just like that!”

Taking just one step, she felt the sensation of the hallway zooming in and out, nausea settling in her stomach as it always did. She felt her heart rate increase and as with previous attempts, the world began to twist, distorting the hallway and the doors of her neighbors, apartment numbers barely indistinguishable from the dark varnish. A month of these moments did little to help her progress in her affliction. It did little to lessen the anxiety and fear that overcame her whenever she planned to leave.

A loud bang echoed suddenly, more than likely a slamming door, but to her it sounded too similar to a gunshot and she found herself falling backwards into her apartment, kicking the door shut as horror overcame her.

Suddenly she wasn’t in her apartment anymore. She was slipping down the back of the car. She was shocked she didn’t feel any pain, but as she looked down, her shirt grew crimson. All she could think was that she had just bought that shirt. It had been a spur of the moment purchase, knowing that with her taking over Rachel’s position, she could no longer get away with tank tops and slacks. It was a little more than she planned on spending on just a shirt, but the material felt silky smooth against her skin, and she knew Cosima would like the way it looked on her… Cosima. What would happen with Cosima?

Footsteps echoed through the empty parking garage and she looked up. The perpetrator stood before her, yet she couldn’t see their face. Just a tall form with no facial features, a blur of pale flesh as if it were acceptable, as if it were every day that someone would have no face. The blur of flesh and cloth turned suddenly, moving away from her, the sound of echoed footsteps playing the notes of impending death.

She was laying on the cold concrete, her body getting colder as she could feel each beat of her heart pumping her blood onto the ground. She could feel darkness consuming her, invading her senses until she was no longer sure if she was conscious or even alive anymore. She had only one thought on her mind.

Cosima.

A knock on the door pulled her from her memories and Delphine found herself scrambling away, her bare feet squeaking against the wood floors as she pushed herself back, away from the portal that led to the outside, that led to the memories of pain and fear that still kept her prisoner. She had no idea who attacked her, who had torn a hole in her body and soul and left her to die on that cold night. Dissociative amnesia the doctors had told her. Whatever it was, it loomed over her like a shadow, blinding her, tormenting her, and fusing with her so that she was no longer able to distinguish herself from the darkness.

Another knock came when she was no longer able to move backwards, the bookshelf against the wall stopping her movement. She pulled her knees to her chest, wishing that whatever it was would go away. Whatever or whoever. This was her only sanctuary, the apartment that reminded her of soft laughter and warm flesh of a woman she loved, keeping the nightmares away.

“Delphine? Please let me in.” The voice was slow and distorted, just as her life had become. It was the voice of her attacker, she just knew it, even though she never remembered her attacker speaking to her.

She didn’t go into science for this. When getting a PhD, she didn’t go into it predicting that one day she would be curled in a ball in her living room, her body marred by an assailant she couldn’t remember for reasons beyond her control. Her entire life had been turned upside down because she had wanted to be a part of cutting edge technology.

She couldn’t stop herself from knowing the truth: she had done this to herself. She had brought this darkness into her own world and she deserved nothing else.

“Delphine?” A twist of the doorknob made one thing apparent to Delphine. She hadn’t locked the door. Her sanctuary was no longer safe.

Suddenly the door opened, the darkness of her room filling with the light from the hall, outlining a single form. In light and shadow, she only saw the form of her attacker, their face a distorted swirl of flesh and cloth. “Non.” She tried to push herself further back, an avalanche of books suddenly pouring down on her as her trembling body shook them loose. She could barely breathe as the form stepped over the small pile of newspapers at her door, closing the door again and returning them to darkness.

“Delphine?” The voice was higher now, a slight rasp in the way they said the blonde’s name. It was familiar, yet it was still a stranger.

Burying her face in her palms, Delphine tried to will it away, just as she had been doing every day for the past month since she was released from the hospital. It would pass, it always did, but that didn’t stop her from shaking with fear as the footsteps echoed through the apartment, slow and purposeful, approaching her as they had that night. A hand reached towards her and she swore she saw a gun, aimed towards her, another attempt to take her life now that she was weak and afraid and a hollow shell of the woman she used to be.

“It’s me, Delphine.”

It wasn’t the voice that she recognized, or the way soft hands pulled her own from her face. It was the scent. The sweet scent that penetrated her nightmare, reminding her of happier times that seemed so long ago, before she hardened her own exterior, before walls went up and she tried to shield herself from the heartbreak she caused herself. She was reminded of a time before she resulted to torture and scheming to manipulate the world they were living in. It reminded her of soft fingers intertwining with her own as a warm body pressed against hers, legs tangling together. It was the scent that pulled her from her delusion and distorted flesh became a worried look and a familiar arm wrapped around her still trembling shoulders. “Cosima?”

“God, Delphine.” Cosima pushed aside the fallen books and sat beside her, pulling Delphine to her and running her fingers through blonde curls that had bounced back once the woman had stopped straightening it. She pressed her lips against the pale temple. “Your safe, Delphine. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.”

Delphine could feel her body calming, as if Cosima hadn’t been the main source of her frustration before she was shot, her body reminding her that no matter how much pain and anguish they went through, Cosima gave her something no one else could. It made no sense, yet her mind thought it made the most sense of all, her arm slipping around the woman’s waist as she buried her face in the brunette’s neck. She didn’t cry, her tear ducts having long since gone dry after having already cried a lifetime of tears in the past month, but instead she breathed in that scent, letting it calm her and soothe her nerves, letting her world right itself one breath at a time. Cosima was the one bright light in the world, even if sometimes she was a glaring light that burned her retinas and made it hard to see clearly. She was the one person Delphine willingly invited into her sanctuary, knowing without her, survival was impossible.

Delphine sighed softly. Ten years and she still couldn’t resist her. She grabbed the pair of jeans that hung on the bedpost, gesturing for Cosima to turn around before stripping out of her pajamas. She heard Cosima’s exasperated sigh and tried to ignore the blush that crept across her face. When Cosima had come out to her as a lesbian five years ago, it had changed something in their relationship. She wished she could say that she had immediately accepted the revelation, but that hadn’t been the case. It had taken a week for her to realize why she was so upset and it wasn’t because of Cosima.

The truth was, she was completely in love with the brunette. Five years and what had started with a silly preteen crush had developed into a deep seated love, and she still hadn’t told the girl. She hated living a silly teen romance cliche. No one really fell for their best friend. Instead, she had watched impatiently as Cosima went through several stages of girls.

There was Bobbi, the tattooed rockabilly girl who had been emancipated at the age of 16. She had introduced Cosima to a love of tattoos, even so much as “hooking Cosima up” with a small tattoo on her left arm, a dandelion blowing in the wind.

There was Sarah, the punk rock hoe who looked eerily similar to Cosima and made Delphine cringe with her brash accent and drug use. Delphine had had to deal with several nights of picking Cosima up from places, too drunk or high to have any common sense except just enough to call her.

As she zipped up her hoodie, she sighed heavily. Then there was Shay. Cosima’s longest relationship of them all, the girl was some sort of vegan hippie forest sprite that had a tiny rat nose. She appealed to Cosima’s free spirit and love of pot, and much to Delphine’s dismay, they had been inseparable. Her senior year had been a nightmare of third wheel evenings, but something had happened last week at prom, something Cosima refused to talk about, and Delphine hadn’t seen the tiny creature come within fifty feet of her best friend.

Not that Delphine hadn’t been on her share of horrible dates. She had tried to distract herself from Cosima’s relationships with the boys that had thrown themselves at her and more often than not, it had been disastrous. They only ever wanted one thing from her, and the time she gave in, she had cried herself to sleep.

“Are you done yet?”

She wanted to tell the brunette how much she loved her, but she didn’t want to risk their friendship. How cliche was that? “Oui.” Delphine slipped her feet into her boots. “Where are we going?”

“It’s a secret… kind of like a ‘while we’re still kids’ adventure…” Cosima laughed and it almost sounded like nervous laughter as she began digging into Delphine’s drawer and pulling out a Polaroid camera, checking the film. “Do you have another cartridge? There’s only 5 shots left.”

“If someone had told me to get more film I would have, but it’s almost 4 in the morning and unfortunately Walmart does not sell Polaroid film.” Delphine gave the girl an exasperated look. “Why didn’t you bring your digital camera?”

“I um… dropped it and cracked the screen. Plus I like the old school feel.” Cosima seemed to mull the problem over before smiling her usual self-confident grin. “Well, if all goes well, this should be enough.” She commented boldly as she shoved the camera in her messenger bag.

Delphine rolled her eyes as she exited the room following the brunette, careful to close the window. They made their way back over to Cosima’s room and down to her garage, the house eerily quiet. Cosima’s mother worked the graveyard shift at a nearby diner and during the day did temp office work. Her father had died just over two years ago so the brunette had had more freedom than she really should have the past couple of year, freedom to dread her hair, pierce her nose, and get a tattoo.

“Here you go.” Cosima tossed her the bright pink helmet as she fastened her own teal helmet on, hopping on the vespa and sliding forward so Delphine could get behind her.

For Delphine, this was the closest she could get to Cosima without feeling embarrassed. She was able to wrap her arms around the girl’s waist and bury her nose in the long dreads. Even as they sped off down the road, faster than was wise for the tiny vehicle, she found herself closing her eyes, the wind pressing Cosima’s scent through her clothes, penetrating her very being.

What was she going to do? Graduation meant college. They’d both applied to the same schools, and she’d actually been accepted to more than the brunette. She wanted to go to Oxford, it had been in her top three, but Cosima wanted to go to UC Berkeley, all the way across the country…as far away from New York as you could get. Of course Delphine had gotten accepted there as well, but did she really want to give up such a huge chance to be with her best friend? Her best friend who made bad choice after bad choice with these girls that were deviants and drug addicts? Would she be able to just sit on the sidelines? Or would an out of sight out of mind approach be better?  They could still be friends from opposite sides of the globe couldn’t they?

Cosima pulled into a vacant parking lot but moved to a nearby tree, parking the bike behind it and out of site, nudging Delphine off. “Ready to break some laws?”  She looked way too cheerful for that statement.

“What?” Delphine pulled her helmet off and set it on the bike, running her fingers through her curls. “Where are …” She looked around and memories started to flood back of days spent here.

“So, we’re going to be graduating in like…well a handful of hours or whatever so I thought we could come back to the beginning.” She grabbed Delphine’s hand and led her towards the fence that circled the primary school, easily hopping over the chest high fence that was meant to hold in ten year olds. “I just want to talk to you for a second and I felt… Just come on.”

Delphine felt awkward as she stumbled over the fence, expecting a laugh from Cosima as she fell to her knees, but getting a worried look instead. “I’m ok.”  She looked around at the field that had seemed so much bigger when they were in school, realizing Cosima was tugging her towards the large castle-shaped jungle gym. “Cosima…”

Shaking the flashlight she’d pulled out of her bag, Cosima smiled back at her. “Don’t worry, D. How many times have I really got you in trouble?… Actually don’t answer that.” Cosima laughed as they stopped at the big castle that had seemed like a massive fort when they were younger, but apparently it was just four feet off the ground, all safety edges and set in fake foam gravel. “Up you go.” She gestured, to the ladder.

Delphine gave her a questioning look but followed the directions given her, climbing her way up the cold metal rungs, scooting up to one side of the castle as Cosima followed her, tossing her bag and flashlight ahead of her. “Ok, so you dragged me out to a playground, in the middle of the night. I think it’s time you started explaining why we’re here.”

Cosima shifted where she sat, fiddling with the the flap of her messenger bag. “I… hmmm… I didn’t think this would be so weird.” She pulled out the polaroid. “Do you remember the first time we were in this castle together?” When she was given a confused look, she gave the blonde a lopsided smile. “It was me, you, and a couple other kids. We were like 11. You were afraid of heights and I had finally convinced you to come up here with me.” She grinned as the blonde began to blush, visible even in the limited light. “Out of nowhere David Guba kissed me and you got so mad at him that you punched him in the face?”

Delphine felt a wave of embarrassment rolling over her, feeling like she was 11 again. “Merde… can we not mention that?”

“No no, I’m totally going there.” She chuckled. “I think even back then I knew I was gay, and it was so cool to have you sticking up for me like that.” She tapped her fingers on the polaroid camera, wondering where the speech she had practiced went. Where had her cleverly thought out plot gone. “I think that’s why I can trust you with a secret that I’ve been keeping to myself for like the past couple of weeks.”

Her brows furrowing, Delphine tried to think back on the past few weeks. She had noticed a change in the girl, but she thought it had to deal with Shay. The brunette had grown a little more inverted, sharing less and talking less. She almost seemed sad, despite the constant smile on her face. “You know you can trust me.”

Cosima nodded. “So I got that digital camera for my birthday…”

“The one you broke…” Delphine couldn’t help but point out

With a soft laugh, Cosima nodded. “I broke it alright…” She cleared her throat again. “Do you believe in like… mutants or like… having super powers?”

Delphine took a second to proceed that question. It was so random she wasn’t sure how to react. After a minute she tilted her head to the side. “Why do you ask?”

“I mean scientifically, it’s just a matter of chromosomes. All these tiny pairs of dna rearranging to a puzzle. I mean sometimes a piece looks like it fits but it doesn’t look right in the bigger picture…There are mutations that occur, people born with tails or webbed feet and there are so many assumptions that it’s from genetically modified foods or cell phones…”

“Cosima! You’re babbling.” Delphine interrupted, knowing if she didn’t the girl would just go on and on. “Just tell me what you…”

“I can see the future.” Cosima quickly uttered, looking down at the camera in her hand.

Delphine froze. Surely the girl hadn’t just said that. Or maybe it was a joke. Normally Cosima was horrible at pranks. She couldn’t stop herself from smiling. Now, there was no smile. “Are you joking?”

“Dude I wish I were.” Cosima shook her head, leaning back against the wall of the castle. “I… I didn’t even know I could do it until like a couple weeks ago.”

It had to be a joke. Some incredible ruse to fulfill the brunette’s promise of some sort of suburban adventure. And yet…What if the girl really thought she could? “Ok… What’s my future?”

Picking at her leggings, Cosima sighed before looking into her bag. “It doesn’t work like that.” She pulled out a photo but didn’t show it to the blonde. “The reason I found out was because of that camera my mom got me. It was all fine and dandy, nothing weird was happening and like two weeks ago, Shay and I were in my room and I was taking pictures of Shay and like we were doing stuff…”

Delphine looked away, feeling the most irrational jealousy she’d ever felt. Of course she knew Cosima had been with girls before, but it still hurt to think about. She didn’t need to hear details.

Cosima could sense the blondes suddenly bad mood and winced, skipping through the unnecessary details. “So like she had just passed out and had thrown on my shirt and she looked adorable so I decided to take a picture, but I guess when I did I was thinking about the prom and if we should get like a hotel so we could have our own after party or whatever and…This is the picture that it took.”

Not really wanting to see a picture of the rat girl wearing Cosima shirt after she and her best friend were “doing stuff” Delphine hesitantly took the photo, taking a deep breath before flipping it over.

The photo wasn’t what she thought it would be. It wasn’t what she had expected at all. From what she could tell, Shay was wearing the dress she had worn to prom, or at least she thought she was because she could only see parts of the dress, just a light green bit of material around the edges of a strong physique blocking the way. In the picture Shay had been pressed against a wall, her legs wrapped around the waist of someone in a tuxedo, well a shirt and vest considering his pants and tighty whities were pooled on the floor around his ankles. Shay’s own panties were very unsexilly still circling one of her ankles and Delphine had the most hideous mental picture of it swinging back and forth with each thrust. It would have been funny, if not for the fact that she was Cosima’s girlfriend.

“Um…” Delphine didn’t know what to say. It didn’t prove anything except that she had been right in her disdain for the tiny girl. Cosima could have taken the picture at prom…

“I know you’re probably thinking that I could have taken that picture at prom, which…unfortunately I did get to see in real life cause I just didn’t understand what was going on.” Cosima sighed heavily. “I didn’t really piece it together until I took a candid picture of my mom doing one of those scratch off lottery things and it showed me a picture of a card with like three matching numbers. My mom won $500 on that.”

Delphine handed the disturbing picture back to Cosima, her brows furrowed. Cosima didn’t seem to be making it up. She had a very serious look on her face, an almost fear. “So why do some pictures show a future and others don’t? I’ve seen you take pictures, Cosima. Nothing’s happened except your finger getting in the way.”

“Ok that’s the weird part.” Cosima lifted the camera that was still in her hand. “This power or whatever works on any camera. I thought it was just that digital camera but like it works even on that super shitty camera on my flip phone.”

Delphine couldn’t help smiling at that. The brunette’s mom refused to get her a smart phone, saying no teen needed one. “But how does it work?”

“From what I can tell, it’s like a magic 8 ball.” Seeing the confused look, Cosima chewed on the corner of her lip, trying to remember her arranged explanation. “OH yeah, it’s kind of like that cheezeburger thing I got you three years ago, you know where you ask it a question, shake it, and there’s the little dice inside that tells you 'Can Haz or 'No Can Haz.’ It’s like that. Like I guess I have to be thinking of a question when I take the picture. Like I’ve been doing a lot of experiments over the last week and I can even ask like specific times and believe me when I say there are some things you don’t want to know.” She added the last part quietly, not wanting to think about the picture that had driven her to break her camera.

Delphine’s mind was reeling. How could this be true? How could any of it be true? The idea was completely preposterous. “Ok, so I’m not saying I don’t believe you but as a future scientist, I would prefer to have some tangible proof, so like as scientists, we’re going to do an experiment. Take a picture of me asking what am I going to be doing in two minutes?”

What was she going to do? That was a question she didn’t know the answer to herself. Maybe she should pull Cosima into a kiss? Would that be weird? Since they were in sharing mode. She bit her bottom lip, thinking about that. Cosima was crazy and thought she could see the future, but she still loved her. She still wanted…

Flash.

Delphine blinked as her vision was taken over by white blobs of light from the flash of the Polaroid. Well it was now or never, she guessed. She would kiss her, she decided.

Setting the camera down, Cosima held the picture in her hand, the white square hiding Delphine’s future.

“Come over here so we can both watch.”

Cosima nodded, sliding sideways and closer to the blonde, holding the photo in her hand. “I… I’ve been avoiding taking pictures of you… I don’t know if I’ve been afraid to see something weird or scary…”

Delphine watched impatiently as shadows began to form. She could tell right away it wasn’t a picture of her kissing Cosima and a disappointment brewed in her heart, spreading through her chest as slowly as the picture developed. Another thing became clear and that was that the photo wasn’t a simple portrait photo as it should have been. As it finally developed, the picture showed Delphine with a terrified look on her face, looking down, an arm stretched out.

Cosima’s brow furrowed. “That’s super weird.” She shifted to lean back against the wall. “What could thaaaaaaahhhh…” Her words turned into a yell as she realized too late that when she had moved to sit next to Delphine, it had put her right in the doorway of the castle and with no wall to lean against, she tumbled backwards out of the structure, the photo still in her hand.

“Cosima!” Delphine called out, her hand reaching out to try to catch the brunette too late. Looking over the edge, she saw Cosima laying on the ground not moving. Her eyes were open but to Delphine’s surprise the girl as laughing. “Cosima are you ok?”

Cosima struggled to catch the wind that was knocked out of her but couldn’t help laughing, looking at the picture in her hand. “I should heed my own fucking warning.”

Delphine climbed down, kneeling beside her. “Are you okay? Did you hit your head? Does anything feel broken? Can you sit up?”

“Yeah yeah, totally. No need to mother me. I just got the wind knocked out of me. All these fake rocks have a purpose I guess.” She sat up, dusting her skirt and leggings off before lifting the picture up. “How on point is that though?”

Delphine took the picture and she couldn’t believe it. “So… Holy… Merde.” Cosima wasn’t lying. A camera in her hand could predict the future. There were so many things someone could do… Yet Cosima didn’t seem excited about it. What had she seen? She watched as the brunette climbed just high enough to grab her stuff from the castle.

Cosima gave her a nervous look, shouldering her messenger bag, the camera and flashlight secured away inside it as they headed back to the bike. “So…How freaked out are you?” Stopping just before the low fence, Cosima looked up at the blonde, an uncertain look on her face, knowing it was kind of hard to believe. “I mean… I would be pretty freaked out if I were you.”

“Cosima…” deciding that this was the moment, Delphine reached up to caress the brunette’s cheek, swallowing the nervous lump in her throat. “Take another picture…of the two of us… For a minute from now.”

Cosima swallowed audibly. The way Delphine was looking at her, she’d seen it before but it always confused her. She’d known the blonde was straight since the day she told her she was gay. The girl had freaked out and stopped talking to her for a week. She was glad she never told Delphine that she was completely in love with her. There was no way she could deal with the heartbreak. Watching her date stupid jocks was enough of a pain, but every now and then she’d catch the blonde watching her with this same look.

Fishing the camera out of her bag, Cosima turned it to face them, mentally wondering what would happen in a minute as Delphine leaned closer, her ear pressed against Cosima’s, cheek pressed against cheek as the flash went off.

Delphine felt a nervousness she’d never felt before. She could feel her cheeks blushing, already mentally preparing herself for the kiss. Would Cosima be excited for it? Would she push her away? Waiting for the photo to develope was slow and agonizing.

“Um… Delphine get to the bike.” Cosima was already climbing over the fence, her eyes darting past the blonde and then back to her. When she got a confused look in response, she held up the picture. “Like now, Cormier!”

Delphine took a second to realize the picture was of the two of them on the bike being chased by…

“Hey! What are you doing here?!?” A flashlight shone their way, a security guard headed in their direction.

“Merde!” Delphine moved as quick as she could. She could only wish she were athletic enough to climb the fence gracefully, hitting the ground again as she went over. Cosima pulled her up and they were running towards the tree, Cosima gaining speed even with her shorter legs. Both could hear the guard’s feet hitting the cement as he ran down the stairs, the clink of the chain-link fence as he went over it. A light danced across the grass at their feet, a reminder that he knew exactly where they were.

Cosima got to the bike first, getting the key in the ignition and getting the bike started. She was putting on her helmet just as the blonde caught up.

Delphine hopped on the back of the bike and just barely got her helmet on and an arm around Cosima’s waist before they were speeding off. The bike slipped slightly in the grass and she felt just the barest brushes against her back as the bike took off. Her other arm slipping around the brunette’s waist, she pressed herself forward, listening to Cosima laugh about the guard and the sound of yelling from behind them. The guard had been so close.

She had been so close. That was twice now that she’d been close. She was determined now. She would tell Cosima how she felt tonight…or rather that morning. At the next stop, she decided with a nod.

Before she knew it, they were pulling up to the high school, a back entrance that they were both keenly familiar with. “Cosima…”

Delphine slipped off the back of the bike and watched the brunette park her bike in it’s normal place, Cosima’s pointed teeth showing as she shook a keyset. “We’re going to get in trouble. We barely got away at the primary school.”

Cosima laughed. “No we’re fine. Come on.” She laughed as she opened the door with the key, a copy she’d made a year ago when the drama teacher had trusted her to drop off some costumes. What a mistake that had been. Cosima pulled her flashlight out as they slipped in the back door of the theater. This late at night, she knew the janitorial crew was already gone and people weren’t set to show up to start preparation until 7.

“It’s so quiet here.”  Delphine swallowed. There was an eeriness in the air and each step they took echoed in the theater, the wooden floor of the stage making that much more noise. “Cosima… I don’t know about this.” She reached out and her hand found Cosima’s.

“Hey.” Cosima smiled, giving the blonde’s hand a squeeze as they neared one of the walls and she flipped on the house lights. “Come on. Don’t think of it as scary. Remember our first day of high school?” Cosima tugged the blonde towards the center of the stage. “We were in drama together and Mr. Hall made us stand in the center of the stage with all the lights on one by one.”

Delphine couldn’t help but smile. She did remember that day. She remembered looking at Cosima and thinking she looked so beautiful. “I remember.”

“I was so terrified.” Cosima laughed at the memory. “Standing up here, in front of the class with the lights on me all by myself, I had this irrational fear, but then I saw you, sitting in the front row, and you were looking at me with this weird look in your eye.” She shook her head, laughing at the ridiculousness of it. “It gave me this weird confidence I never had before, like I was getting this strength from you… and it stuck with me the past four years…. like this unending gift of knowing that whatever shit I got into, you’d always be there to give me strength.” She released the blonde’s hand, retrieving the camera from her bag.

“So, I know that you’ve been having trouble deciding where to go for college, so…  I thought I would help you out.” Cosima lifted the camera. “A simple picture should tell you.”

Giving the brunette a curious look, Delphine bit her bottom lip. Looking at that smile, she knew there was no other choice for her. Reaching forward, she put her hand on the camera, shaking her head. “I do need your help and your camera, but that’s not the question you should ask. There’s only one thing I need to know before making the decision.”

Cosima looked at her in confusion. “What?” She looked down nervously. “What did you want me to ask?”

“Take one of the two of us and ask what we’ll be doing one minute from now.”

Cosima’s brow furrowed. Surely she’d already proven her ability to tell the future. What could happen in a minute? A hand cupped her cheek and she swallowed audibly.

“Come on.”  Delphine smiled, slipping behind the brunette, her arms wrapping around the slim waist as she pressed her lips to Cosima’s ear. “What are we going to do one minute from now? Will we be running again?”

Cosima felt her heart skip a beat as her body went through a confusing mix of sensations. Her hand shook just slightly as she lifted the camera, feeling the blonde’s breath in her skin as she pushed the button and the flash filled the theater.

As Cosima tucked the camera away, Delphine took the Polaroid from her. Moving in front of the girl again, Delphine decided she didn’t care what was on the photo.Her free hand came up to cup Cosima’s cheek again, her thumb tracing a soft lip. When Cosima didn’t pull away, she leaned forward and pressed her lips against the brunette’s.

Cosima froze, momentarily taken back by the kiss until the realization hit her and she was returning the kiss, her fingers tangling in blonde hair.

Delphine couldn’t believe she wasn’t being pushed away. This kiss, the one she’d been dreaming of for five years, was sweeter than any she’d had before and it was too much. She’d expected a tender embrace of lips, something loving and reassuring, but this was all that and more. This was desperation and passion, so much so that she pushed the brunette away, a surprised look on her own face. “Cosima.” She whispered, her forehead pressing against Cosima’s. “I’m sorry…” She laughed nervously. I’m just a little overwhelmed. I’ve been wanting to do that for 5 years.“

Cosima pulled back on that, her own heart racing. "What?” She blinked, not believing what she was hearing. “5 years?!” She pulled away. “5 years!” Her hands went up to her forehead in disbelief. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Delphine shook her head, unable to present a suitable answer. “I was just…afraid… To lose you.” She looked down at the picture in her hand, finally the image of her lips pressed against Cosima’s. Third time’s the charm. “I  couldn’t bear the thought of upsetting you if you didn’t feel the same.”

“Feel the same?” Cosima laughed. “God if you only knew.” She stepped up to Delphine, taking the photo and shaking her head. “Don’t you understand that all these girls, none of them have been close to good enough because none of them were you?” She stepped even closer to the blonde, tentatively placing her hands on the girl’s hips. “Can we try that kiss again now that I’m not completely surprised?”

Biting her bottom lip, Delphine nodded, leaning forward and capturing soft lips again. This time Cosima responded immediately, pressing her body against Delphine’s, her tongue not hesitating to tease and deepen the kiss.

Delphine felt her body begin to heat up, an arousal she’d never felt before overwhelming her once more and she was breaking off the kiss. “Sorry.” She laughed nervously. “I still can’t believe this is happening.”

Cosima nodded, completely understanding. “I totally get that… and as much as I want to continue this, I have one more thing planned for tonight, but hopefully it should only take a minute then we can get back to this.”

Her hand slipping into Delphine’s, Cosima tugged her off the stage, hitting the house lights and turning on her flashlight. So maybe she wasn’t entirely sure that they were alone in the school or not, but she wasn’t going to tell Delphine that. Instead she checked every corner as she pulled the blonde towards a familiar room. “Wanna see a neat trick?”

Delphine gave her a worried look, noticing they were at the principal’s office. “Cosima… what are you doing?”

As always, the outer door do the principal’s office was open and Cosima pulled Delphine inside. “I would love to sit next to my best friend at graduation.” She finally released Delphine’s hand, moving to the secretary’s desk and removed the top for the small container holding a load of paperclips. “You end up in the principal’s office enough, you learn all the tricks.” She laughed as she pulled the spare key out with a wink.

“Cosima… our last names are almost at completely opposite ends of the alphabet. There’s no way we can sit together. How are you going to change that? There’s the roster, the order of the diplomas…”

“They don’t actually give you the diploma at graduation, Delphine.You have to pick it up later or they’ll mail it to you.” Cosima unlocked the principal’s office, gesturing for the blonde to follow before closing it again. “We only need to change the roster that the VP is going to use to announce our names. It’s the same list they’ll use to assign our place in line.”

“But how are you supposed to change that?”

Cosima laughed. “Our principal is a simple soul, Delphine.” Sitting at the computer, she pulled up the login screen. “The school makes him change his password every 90 days and he’s old so…” She lifted up a paperweight, flipping it over to show Delphine the yellow sticky on the bottom of it. “Old people are hilarious.” She pulled up the shared file, deleting her name from the middle of the list and inserting a row after Delphine’s name. “Oh no, looks like for some reason they got my first and last name mixed  up. It’s only natural that Cormier, Delphine come right before Cosima, Niehaus.” She chuckled at her own brilliance, saving and printing out two copies of the list. “And…that’s all there is to it.” She grinned a huge grin as she shut the computer down. She was standing up to leave just as there was suddenly a light that passed by the office, the sound of whistling echoing in the empty hallways.“Shit!” She whispered, grabbing Delphine and pulling her down.

“Oh no.” Delphine could hear the main principal office door open, the whistling getting louder. “Oh my god oh my god.”

When she heard the sound of keys in the principal’s door, Cosima pulled the blonde under the desk with her, covering her mouth with a hand just as the inner door opened. It was a tight fit but she knew they couldn’t move. Pressed up against the blonde, she could smell the sweet scent of her shampoo and feel the warmth of her body.

That was the last thing she needed to be thinking about, Cosima mused. She could see a beam of light moving over the interior of the room slowly, the moment lasting an agonizingly long amount of time, seeming to scan over every surface before the light moved away and the door shut, the sound of the keys locking the door loud in the quiet room. With a relieved sigh, she waited till she heard the second door close and lock before removing her hand from Delphine’s mouth.

This close to the brunette, Delphine couldn’t stop herself from pressing her lips to Cosima’s. She could feel her blood racing, the fear of being caught and the thrill of not, merged to form an indisputable arousal that had her locking her fingers in Cosima’s dreads, pulling her closer.

If someone had told Delphine a week ago that the morning before graduation she would be on the floor in the principal’s office making out with her best friend, she would have thought that person crazy, but the touch of Cosima’s hands on her skin was like an addicting fire that consumed her. She welcomed the hand that slipped under her shirt, her hoodie having gotten unzipped sometime in the past minute.

Cosima was barely containing herself. This was her best friend, but she was also her greatest desire. As her hand met soft flesh, she felt like she was going to melt at the realization Delphine wasn’t wearing a bra. As her hand grazed a hardened nipple and Delphine whimpered against her lips, a thousand questions went through her mind. Was she going too fast? Was she going too slow? Was Delphine really going to want to have sex with a girl? She just wasn’t sure. They’d been friends forever, but were they ready for this already? Shouldn’t they like go on a date or something? Were they really doing this in the principal’s office?

Delphine didn’t care where they were. She had been waiting for 5 years for this. Five years of research and fantasies. Five years of boyfriends that couldn’t even come close to her dreams. Five years of finding pleasure only from her own fingers. She needed this, even if they had limited time and there wasn’t a bed, she needed to be touched. Even as she thought it, she felt the hand on her breast slide down to tug at the buttons of her jeans. She needed to feel Cosima, to make her squirm, but she also knew they needed to get out of there. It took everything in her to stop the hand at her waist. “Cosima…”

“Shit.” Cosima licked her lips, pulling back. “Sorry…this is too fast…”

“Shut up.” Delphine captured her lips again, her hand sliding under Cosima’s skirt to cup her sex through her tights, hearing the surprised whimper emerge from the girl’s throat. “We’re doing this. I just don’t want you to start something you can’t finish.” With a grin, she nipped the soft lips, and removed her hand. “If you don’t have anymore surprises, maybe we can go back to your room…”

Cosima didn’t need anymore suggestions.Even if she did have more surprised, they got thrown out the window. She pulled away and stood up, careful to make sure no one was around. God she was so aroused it was uncomfortable to walk. She didn’t even want to imagine sitting on her vespa.

“Your coat.” Delphine held the jacket out, having already slipped her own hoodie on. It took them another two minutes to replace the two copies of names already printed and set them on the secretary’s desk. They returned the principal’s key to its place before leaving.

This time, knowing security was on campus, it took them a little longer to leave, each corner checked significantly slower, the pair not wanting to be found. Each step they took in the theater was slow and deliberate, trying to not create footsteps that would echo in the empty room.

Soon, Delphine was pressed against Cosima’s back once more, the vespa speeding down the neighborhood roads. It was so tempting to brush her lips against Cosima’s neck, or slip a hand between her legs, but she also didn’t want to die. No, she could wait another few minutes, even if her mind was filled with visions of Cosima moving against her. The ride was agonizingly long, even for just a few miles and she was worked up by the time they were pulling into Cosima’s garage.

Cosima slipped the helmet off her head, setting it on the handlebar. “You didn’t tell me what college you chose.”

Slipping her own helmet off, Delphine placed her lips to Cosima’s, her hands coming up to either side of Cosima’s neck, pulling her closer, their bodies pressing against each other.

A soft groan slipped from Cosima’s lips.

Delphine smiled as she ended the kiss. “If you really want to know, take the picture.” She commented before pulling the brunette closer for another kiss. There was a flash but she paid no mind to it, instead she was pulling the girl towards the door.

“Miss Cormier, I do believe that you are trying to take advantage of me.” Cosima joked, reaching past her and unlocking the door. The house was unsurprisingly empty and they were stumbling up the stairs, towards Cosima’s bedroom.

Reaching for the picture, Delphine rose an eyebrow. She and Cosima were definitely not in college and neither of them were dressed.

“I wanted to make sure we weren’t interrupted…for like the millionth time tonight.” Cosima chuckled, pulling the blonde into her bedroom and shutting the door.

“You are going to destroy that picture, ma cherie.” Delphine spoke in an warning tone, letting her hoodie fall to the floor to join Cosima’s coat before reaching for the brunette’s shirt, tugging it up. A small pile of clothes formed at their feet before she was pressing the brunette into the bed. “You know, I’ve never thought Star Wars bed sheets would be sexy…” She chuckled, pressing her lips against Cosima’s as they moved under the comforter, groaning as she pressed against the girl’s body, lips traveling down her neck. “I still don’t…” She laughed as Cosima bit down playfully on her shoulder.  "Ow.“

Cosima laughed, rolling over so she was pinning the blonde beneath her. "And here I put them on just for you.” She teased, settling her hips between spread thighs. “God, you’re so fucking beautiful.” She smiled, her eyes traveling down the flushed skin before laughing again. “Sorry… I know that sounds really lame.”

Shaking her head, Delphine pulled her down for another kiss. “Non. I was just about to say the same thing so I guess we’re both lame.” She released a shuddered breath as a thigh pressed against her core, sending a jolt through her. “Out of curiosity, how far ahead was that picture?”

Kissing her way down the blonde’s chest, Cosima flicked her tongue against the hardened nipple before grinning. “Two hours.”

Delphine groaned as a hand slipped down her body, blunt nails still long enough to leave paths of fire down her side.  "Merde… two?“

"Uh huh.” Cosima chuckled. “Don’t worry. It should be enough time… for now.”

As it turned out, it wasn’t, and Delphine was groaning as Cosima’s alarm went off, reminding them that the brunette’s mother would be home at any time. “Fuck, Cosima…” She had her fingers tangled in brunette dreads, feeling the tongue moving against her. “Cosima… the alarm… shit don’t stop.” She could feel her body trembling, her hips rolling against the fingers thrusting into her.  

Cosima could feel the woman’s body getting closer to the edge. She knew they didn’t have much time, and quite frankly she already had bruises on her back from the blonde’s heels, but she wasn’t going to stop just yet. It was all worth it, she decided as she sped up her fingers, determined to coerce one last…

Delphine gasped as she was pushed over, her body tensing as waves of tremors coursed through her, her eyes squeezed tight as her hips bucked up against the tongue. After an intensely long moment, she whimpered and collapsed in a puddle, pushing the brunette away when the tongue continued to move against her. “Merde… enough.”

With a chuckle, Cosima licked her lips, brushing her lips against the woman’s body on her way up. “Mmmm. You are so much more beautiful as an exhausted lump in my bed.”

She was exhausted, there was no denying that, but as Cosima’s body pressed against her, arms wrapping around her waist, she felt so lost. “I have to go before your mother gets home.”

“We could both use a shower.” Cosima stretched. “How about we take a shower…separately…” She added when hazel eyes lit up, getting a pout. “Once my mom gets home you can head back over and we can… hang out till it’s time to leave.” She smirked, pressing one more kiss to Delphine’s lips before rolling out of bed, throwing on a large sleepshirt and some underwear. As Delphine got dressed, Cosima pulled the camera out of her bag. There was still one more exposure left. “Hey… come here.” She knew she shouldn’t be doing this, but the temptation was too strong. Pulling the blonde to her, she smiled, light hazel eyes questioning her. When the flash went off, she took the picture, handing the blonde the camera.

“How far?” Delphine asked curiously.

Cosima smiled, shaking her head. “This one’s just for me. Go take your shower.”

Delphine was curious, but her protests were stopped by Cosima’s mother’s car pulling into the garage. She could always ask again later, she thought as she pressed her lips to Cosima’s once more before slipping out the window.

Watching the girl disappear back into her own window, Cosima lifted the photo as it finished developing. She and Delphine were both older, after all it was fifteen years later. She just wanted to see where they would be, after PhDs were hopefully attained. To her surprise, they were sitting on a beach together, Delphine sitting behind Cosima with her chin on her shoulder, and while she cringed at her own shorter, undreaded hair, she ran her finger over Delphine’s blonde curls, unable to stop the smile. She wasn’t surprised that they were still together, or that they both looked happy. After all, they had been best friends for ten years, and if anyone knew how to make Delphine happy, it would be her and vice versa. The surprising additions to the picture were the twin toddlers sitting on her own lap, blonde ringlets pulled back into pig tails and hazel eyes that Cosima recognized as Delphine’s. “Well…” She never thought of herself as a mother, after all her own mother was rarely around these days, but with Delphine… she smiled, tucking the photo away in the pages of a book where no one would find it.

Graduation first.

Delphine seemed to enjoy the sudden transgression, the complete denial of the rules she had set earlier before clothes became pools of material on the floor and they took up residence in the center of the bed. It wasn’t until Cosima’s hand moved between them, fingertips slipping past the small patch of curls, finding the physical evidence of Delphine’s arousal, that the blonde pulled away, clearing her throat to chase away that sound that Cosima owned, even as fingertips brushed awakened nerve ending, circling swollen flesh knowingly, a blonde eyebrow rising in question.

A hand moved to the center of Cosima chest, pushing her to lean back just slightly, just enough so Delphine’s fingers could wrap around the tattooed wrist, pulling the hand away from her arousal without saying a word. Words weren’t needed anyway, Cosima knew what she had done and she knew it was her one and only warning. Again she could feel her heart, this time against the fingertips at her wrist, a firm yet gentle touch that increased her heartbeat double-fold even as the grip released.

There were other ways of subverting the blonde’s control, Cosima found, as she wasted no time bringing her fingertips to her own mouth, greedily enjoy the remnant taste that was all Delphine.

Delphine’s hazel eyes were as dark as the foreboding sky, watching as fingers disappeared into Cosima’s mouth. The blonde’s body was illuminated by the occasional flash of lightning as she leaned back just a bit more, her hips raising just enough that the shadows shifted deliciously on her abdomen, muscles tensing for the barest of moments before she slowly slid herself onto the toy that was secured to Cosima’s body by leather and buckles, a soft breathy sound emerging from the blonde’s lips as she took a minute to herself.

Cosima was mesmerized by an infinite number of details at that moment, watching silicone disappear between slick folds, the strong hand that moved to circle her bicep with short nails leaving crescent shapes in her skin. She was mesmerized by the furrow in Delphine’s brow as she was slowly filled, her eyes closed in silent revelry, and the way a soft lip was captured between ivory teeth, the corners of her mouth tipped up in a blissful smile. Cosima watched as, for the slightest of moments, the tall frame arched just a bit, and she could just imagine the toy was made of her own flesh, sliding along the velvety walls, caressing depths her fingers weren’t long enough to reach.

Delphine finally opened her eyes, sitting up straighter, her arm moving to slip around Cosima’s neck, pulling their bodies together. This was the moment Cosima lived for, their bodies flush against each other, when they became one entity and lips met her own in a hungry kiss. She lived for the soft laugh against her lips as the blonde’s pelvis began to move, long legs circling Cosima’s hips in a tight embrace, an anchor to support the fluid rolling motion of her body. Life was when their lips separated and Cosima could see every emotion, the soft brush of their noses bumping against each other. It was the look on Delphine’s face when Cosima whispered, “I love you,” into the space between them, into the air they shared as one being. It was the “je t'aime, mon amour,” that was whimpered in response, words she could never hear enough.

Cosima could feel the rapid beating of her heart again, the harness causing delicious friction that fueled her own movements. It was passion and desire at it’s finest, her heart beating in her ears louder than the falling rain, and stronger than the thunder that followed each flash and as her hand came to rest against the center of the blonde’s chest, she could feel the heartbeat matching her own, both hearts beating rapidly, the pulse of nature flowing through them, connecting their bodies with the storm outside.

Cosima’s lips claimed Delphine’s once more and they moved together as one. Delphine was the ebbing tide, receding back into the ocean only to flow forward again, waves breaking against the smooth shore that was Cosima, welcoming each surge that crashed upon her, an idiosyncratic rhythm of push and pull that was a creation all their own. “You’re so beautiful.” Watching Delphine, she couldn’t stop the words even if she tried, her hands cupping breasts slick with a thin layer of sweat. She smiled as Delphine responded, French tumbling from her lips as she was no longer capable of English speech, no longer able to translate her thoughts as her body began to shake. Cosima didn’t need to speak another language to understand the woman who’s still-damp curls had fallen forward, framing her flushed cheeks, brushing against her own cheek as their foreheads met. Delphine tangled her fingers in Cosima’s dreads, an intense look in her eyes, a look that stared into her, seeing her like only Delphine could, unable to defend herself from the open honesty that greeted her with hazel eyes.

Cosima swallowed, feeling lost in the gaze, feeling the blonde’s movement slow down, growing more intense as she moved against her. Unable to resist, Cosima pulled the woman flush against her, turning their bodies and pinning the blonde to the bed, still joined at the hips. She watched as surprise morphed into delight and Delphine caressed her jaw. The legs that were still wrapped around her waist tightened, pulling her closer and in turn pulling her deeper. Cosima captured soft lips, muffling a moan as she began to move, feeling the legs around her loosen

Delphine whimpered into the kiss, her arms wrapping around the brunette’s torso, pulling her closer. The need was still there, yet they moved together in agonizingly slow synchronicity, already-bruised lips continuing to seek refuge.

Cosima groaned as nails dug into her ribs, feeling the woman’s body trembling beneath her, breaking off the kiss with a gasp from both women. She could feel the need in the woman that accompanied the trembling in her body, the resistance her hips met with each thrust and pull. The blonde bit her bottom lip, never wanting it to end, never wanting the feeling of Cosima moving against her to disappear. Suddenly she was back at DYAD, crying over Cosima’s seizing form, her body betraying itself with illness. Tears began to fill hazel eyes and Cosima brushed her lips along the woman’s jaw. “Stop that.” She whispered knowingly, very familiar with the look in the blonde’s eyes. “I’m right here.” She brushed her lips over the woman’s mouth, her tongue teasing the skin there until the blonde opened her mouth, releasing her lip. “Stop fighting it.” She whispered. “I’ll never leave you.” She pressed her lips against Delphine’s once more, knowing that was all it would take before the woman’s body tensed, pulling her close in a crushing embrace as trembles turned into earthquakes for an agonizingly long moment before she crashed back to Earth.

As the blonde’s body slumped to the bed, Cosima continued to brush soft kisses along the woman’s skin, down her throat and along the line of her collarbone. “I love you, Delphine.” She reached down and unbuckled the harness, withdrawing from the blonde and tossing it aside as she curled against the woman’s body, running her fingertips up limp but still trembling form as she kissed away the tears that slipped from light hazel eyes. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Cosima wasn’t getting any better. The stem treatment from Kira’s tooth had just halted everything. She wasn’t getting any worse, but she wasn’t improving either. She just knew she was missing something. She knew she couldn’t get any information from Rachel and Leekie was being suspiciously withholding as well. The autopsy of Jennifer’s body had left more questions than answers. What were they going to do? They needed to find a cure for Cosima. She couldn’t bear the thought of losing the brunette. As if knowing Delphine was thinking about her, the sound of keys scratched against the door before it opened, Cosima’s arms loaded with bags. “Merde.” Delphine pushed herself up to assist, only to have Cosima twist away.

“Mphmmphmuumm” Cosima tried to speak, her mouth full of what looked like the mail.

Delphine laughed, grabbing the small stack of envelopes, rolling her eyes at the obvious teeth mark on the envelopes. “You salivated all over the power bill.” She commented, giving the brunette a wry look.

“Hi, Cosima! Thanks for bringing up the mail, Cosima!” Cosima commented as she began tucking some of the groceries in the fridge. “Thanks for buying groceries, Cosima.”

“You are only buying groceries because you ate all the food.” Delphine captured the brunette around the waist, bringing her in for a quick kiss. “How are you feeling?”

Rolling her eyes, Cosima pulled away. “I’m fine, Delphine. You don’t have to keep mothering me.” She returned to putting the groceries away. “I think I saw a card in the stack?”

“Hmmm?” Delphine picked up the stack, removing the bright yellow envelope from the stack, the Paris postage stamp making her pause. It couldn’t be…“Hey, what is the date today?” She knew it was December, but it didn’t seem like…

“It’s the 18th…December… 2013.” Cosima gave her a look.

“Oh.” Delphine sat down on one of the stools and leaned back against the prep counter, easily opening the flap and slipping the card from it. For our daughter on her birthday. Delphine’s brows furrowed as a photograph slipped out, a painting she’d seen many times, once a year for the past 20 years at least. Flipping over the photo, her mother’s handwriting was scribbled across the back in French.

“Can I see?” Cosima asked curiously, looking closely at the photo. “Is this da Vinci?” Flipping it over, she pursed her lips before looking at Delphine.

“It says ‘A little tradition from home.’” Delphine accepted the photo back. “My birthday was always during the winter break of school so it was one of the few times I was home. My parents were always busy, but we had one tradition that was even more important than Christmas.” Moving to the fridge, she pinned the photo there with a magnet. “On my birthday, we would go to the Lourve and choose a section to walk through, but we would always swing by this painting, The Annunciation, which was my favorite.”

Cosima looked closer at the picture, her eyebrows furrowing. “Why this one?”

“Because it’s a fake.” Delphine laughed at Cosima’s wide-eyed expression. “Well, supposedly it’s a fake. There are two versions of this painting, one in France, one in Italy. Experts first said that Leonardo da Vinci painted both, then they said that the one in the Lourve is not da Vinci, and it was painted 10 years later, but there is no proof either way. No one watched da Vinci paint either. ”

Cosima removed a bottle of wine from the holder, expertly removing the cork and pouring two glasses. “So, one is painted by da Vinci and the other is a copy, but no one can for certain say either one is painted by him?”

Accepting the glass of wine, Delphine nodded. “Oui.” Taking a small sip, she shrugged. “And even though they suspect it’s just a copy, it’s still treated as a treasure.”

“Huh.” Cosima sipped her wine. “So, this is the first year you haven’t gone with your family?”

Delphine nodded, picking up the card and reading it over again. It had been a family tradition, and she was the one to break it. Not her parents who were always too busy for anything else, but she the daughter was suddenly too busy to go home..too busy to even remember her birthday and Paris and the Lourve. It’s not like she could leave anyway. She would never be allowed to leave the country unless DYAD permitted it. They didn’t have time for such frivolous things as birthday traditions, even if she had remembered them.

A year ago she was just a lab tech, newly graduated and trying to outshine her co-workers, absorbed with work during the weekdays, and spending the weekends with her friends and occasionally her family. She had a life outside of work, lunches with friends at cafes, flirting with men in clubs and dancing past midnight.

That was now a thing of the past since she was promoted to monitor. Now, she was always running, always in a panic. Nothing was ever quick enough. Tests took too much time. Results took too long to come back. She was always running but getting nowhere.

Even when she wasn’t working, there was Cosima, the physical representation of the sickness bearing down on them like a time bomb waiting to explode. Cosima with her sisters and her secrets. They both had so many secrets. She didn’t know anything beyond what was on the surface, her own boss plotting deaths of co-workers and using her to do his dirty work. Her own girlfriend, always hiding, always lying, thinking she was being clever.

God her life was a mess. Was she the villain? Was she the heroine? Her life was chaos. None of it made any sense and she didn’t see it clearing up anytime soon. She had never had so little information yet had so much relying on her in her life.

“Hey… you alright?” Cosima was suddenly in front of her, an arm braced against the prep table on either side of her, a concerned look on her face. “You look a little far off.”

Her life was a mess but it wasn’t without it’s benefits, she thought as she slipped an arm around the woman’s waist, pulling her close. “With you here? Everything is perfect.”

Cosima chuckled, her tongue peeking out from between her teeth as melted against the taller frame, brushing her lips against Delphine’s. “Did you have something you wanted to do for your birthday… like Toronto style?” She was toying with the cord of Delphine’s hoodie, her eyes open and expecting.

Delphine nodded, feeling the familiar pull starting inside her and radiating out, consuming her completely. “You.” She whispered, inching the woman’s dress up.

With a smirk, Cosima reached down and tugged her dress up and off easily, letting it fall to the floor before straightening her glasses. “You know, it’s not your birthday yet.” She unzipped Delphine’s hoodie, pushing it off her shoulders, reaching for the woman’s tank top.

“Do you want to wait another three days?” Delphine slipped off her stool, turning so that she was pressing the brunette against the prep counter, reaching down to hook her hands around the back of her thighs, easily lifting the smaller form onto the surface. Even this was chaos, Delphine thought as she tugged the woman’s tights and underwear off in one move, capturing hungry lips in a kiss. It was chaos, but it was chaos she welcomed. It was chaos she at least had a tiny bit of control of. “Lay back.” She commanded sternly against the brunette’s lips, her hand sliding up the center of the woman’s abdomen until she stopped at the valley of her breasts, pressing back just slightly.

Cosima groaned, the chilled counter-top cold against her back.

As Delphine stood between the woman’s knees, her hand tracing the lines of her body, she marveled at this magnificent creature that had caused so much discord in her life. “So beautiful.” She whispered, pulling up a stool and taking a seat. As her tongue claimed the woman before her, she knew her own bliss. This was the control she had, where everything came together and she could understand where she belonged. A hand in her hair attempted to guide her, to dictate her actions, but she resisted, refusing to give in.