#that scene.

anyone else start absolutely bawling when loki said “i want my friends back” and asking “where do i belong?” because.

it’s  the  “you  guys  go  on  without  me”  and  the  “how  could  we”  and  the  accuracy  of  that  statement  considering  no  one  escaped  hill  house  unscathed  and  no  one  in  the  family  really  recovered  from  olivia  leaving  them  for  me.

I still want thhe simplicity of a directive. I still want a focus.burning that clear line ffrom point a to b ,a thread a string you can see through to some beautiful conclusion ,to satisfaction. I am coordinating so much I am coordinating so much. I hear his voice and I can feel he can feel the way it feels I cant.Turn off. I can distract ,there are so many threads to pull And I will. And I do, let them stop saying I cant ask for help, they cant see I am rreaching out every day, I take it ,and I appreciate it, but taking it doesnt have to look like begging does it ,II am efficiently. Pulling what I can out of these little Connections , where I can, Where something will touch It. Is so much. So many It was all a ffucking lie but I miss the sense that it iit could be this productive, gorgeous thing to be Led. Peaceful.Along that one burning line

AND THEN AMPHIBIA SHOWS THAT SASHANNARCY SLEEPOVER LIKE ITS NOTHING