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Stockhome Hostel Ayutthaya

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The Prestige Nana, Bangkok

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#Diving with giant #Pufferfish in #Thailand

Welp, 38 days until this chica descends off into her first real adventure!! I've been waiting for the weight of this trip to really hit me and as the months have ticked by it all has definitely become more real.There have been a few panic attacks as well as a couple of moments of feeling slightly overwhelmed.  Despite this, my anxiety has lessened as the time till my departure grows shorter. Not once have I doubted this decision. Maybe this calm has begun to settle in because I know deep in my soul that this is what I am meant to be doing. Perhaps I am simply just ready. For such a long time now I have talked about traveling. I have always felt the urge to explore new places and cultures. I always am and always have been eager to hear about lives much different than my own yet, for many reasons, the opportunity to wander to faraway places was always on hold.

When it came to the whole college thing, I tried to get it done as quickly and as affordably as possible. I guess that could be part of the reason I came out with no real idea of what I wanted to do. I changed my major and dabbled in a variety of things which meant I never had a great long-term plan. I always worked for the short-term goals. i.e. graduating high school, community college, and acquiring a four-year degree. I never really thought enough about what I truly wanted to do and how to get there in the most efficient way possible. I learned as I went and picked up little pieces of knowledge and insight along the way. Even when I thought I had a decent idea of what I was doing, I was kind of just bobbing about hoping it would all eventually work itself out.

I have spent a lot of time worrying about not being at a particular place by a particular time, but time has a funny way of sneaking up on us, I suppose. Slowly, I am beginning to realize that this timeline we all feel is ever present, pushing us to accomplish things by certain ages and years - is really quite meaningless. It is truly about enjoying the ride. The destination will always be there, it is always waiting. When the moments in between go unappreciated, it makes living a lot less enjoyable. And truly, I feel it goes a lot quicker. It is during these in-between moments that we get to know ourselves. Recognizing we are always where we need to be has been a struggle, but it has proved to be worth working on. 

I am fortunate to have had so many people in my life who have guided me in the right direction, time after time. Maybe I'm a tad slower in figuring this whole career thing out, but I've done my best to not fall under the pressure of having to know exactly what I want to do right now. Talking with people, as well as asking questions along the way has been one of the most valuable things in sorting this all out. I am grateful to the many people, whose names I will always remember, and even those who I do not, for some have offered the greatest support while others have tested my strength and made me doubt my own progress. Regardless of which, both have shaped my experiences in ways I am forever grateful for. I am happy to find myself where I am today - still working on the many parts of my soul that I want to be better, learning to accept what I have for so long tried to reject, and knowing that I am surrounded and supported by the right kinds of people. 

I call myself a gypsy, semi-seriously, because for a while now I've been bouncing around with no real sense of "home." There are many reasons for this, ones I won't get into here. I have moved from place to place, staying in a leased college home, at a friend’s, or on a couch from time to time. While it is true that I crave change and that I get bored doing the same thing too long, having a life where you're never able to be truly comfortable in one place can do that to a person. I could choose to live differently but I have reached a place in my life where there is no choice other than to remove as much negativity as possible from the everyday equation. For me, that means having to limit my worldly possessions and live out of a bag, for now.  I decided a while ago that dwelling on the negatives of this turbulent life I have lead, is to hold on to pain unnecessarily. Rather, I hope to extract the lessons from each past experience, good and bad, as a means to make the future as magical as I wish it to be.

I pride myself on my adaptability, but I have never done anything quite as foreign as this. I am nervous about some of the challenges ahead, but more than that, I am excited to meet people who are like-minded and spirited. This path that I have chosen is perhaps not one that others would have picked, however there is something in my gut that tells me this is the way. Making this decision, although there was some thought behind it, was a leap; a big jump into something new. A way to break the pattern of so many years of doing things "the right way.” Or, really what I thought was the right way. With age comes some insight. I know there is still much to learn but I think my big lesson at this particularly confusing time, is going my own way more than ever before. Even with being so independent, there has always been a comfortableness in knowing what to expect from the day to day. No change I have encountered thus far has been so significant as this one will surely be. This scares me but it also excites me beyond what I can explain. I am hoping that this endeavor will push me out of every comfort zone, especially the ones I am not yet conscious of.  

So here’s to the almost beginning of a new chapter! I am writing for myself, to keep track of the process and hopefully progress in my constantly developing self. I am writing for others, too. I am hoping that some of what I share will resonate with someone else, whether to begin their own adventure or to share a piece of their story to inspire someone else.

Art & Recycle Program - Watch Your Waste Project Educational Project - Projeto Educacional. 2015, Bangkok / Thailand.

- English -

During one week we had the pleasure to be giving the Art + Recycle Program to wonderful kids and all staff at Foundation Stage at the great Bangkok Patana International School.

“Watch Your Waste Project”, has an ideal to teach art and sustainability altogether by reaching some aspects of rubbish, decomposition and recycling, being able to think about our environment and how to keep it as clean as possible. Hopping also to plant a seed with our believes of having a better world to live in and being able to help the next generation.

We have made a workshop for six different classrooms at Foundation Stage with children of four and five years old. The main activity was to make a planter by taking a plastic by creating a face to it with discharged materials from the school By adding a name to the bottle, which became their friends, the students could learn how important and nice it could be to re-use materials which were meant to be thrown away. Also another activity was to let the students plant a seed or vegetables in the planter, being able to watch it grow at the school, watching and participating in a new life coming out of something that didn’t have an use anymore and it could be out there harming the world by taking at least 450 years to be decomposed at the landfill.