#text addicted

REMAINS

Nero and Naru stayed the night.  it was a bit cramped, but Naru took her sister’s bed, Nero the couch...  Neru stayed up late on our new laptop, past when I fell asleep.  I woke to find her foot in my face and her head on the floor.  It seems even after going to bed, she slept rather restlessly.

Anyway, I got up after that and made her siblings a small breakfast -rice and eggs- and then we all sat and talked... kinda...  I kinda get the feeling they don’t like me too much...  I’m not sure why.  Maybe they’re just naturally abrasive, haha.  They took their leave shortly after that, for classes, I think.

Oh, if you were wondering- we had to push it back a few days because Nero couldn’t make it...  He had to stay late to... close the store or something.  I didn’t press.

The cake was delicious though- there’s still a slice left over if Neru hasn’t eaten it already.  Del visited only briefly- he was already on an assignment when I’d asked the first time, and he could only spare a couple of hours.

I’ve gotten sidetracked again...  After getting Neru up and situated, we went out to look for yukatas... before realizing we could hardly afford one, let alone two, at the prices we found...  And it’s not like we could just go spending it on frivolities like festival garments, food and games.

Neru suddenly remembered that we’d gotten a pair a few years back, for a festival then...  We rushed home and dug through our storage space to find them...  I did find them, in good condition if a bit dusty, but Neru ran off halfway through our search.  She’s shut herself up in her room, and I can hear her intermittently writing, shouting, and sleeping furiously with no reply or explanation. I’ve hung the yukatas up in the living room...  they’re beautiful.

We went shopping today.  Neru seems in better spirits, now that her new cell phone is up and running.  It took a bunch of hassling and mucking about with the website and support calls (made from Dell’s phone) but she managed to keep her same number and unlimited texting plan she had before.  Granted, I suppose I did a lot of the talking...   Neru has a tendency to shout and hang up when things don’t go her way.

Anyway... shopping.  After buying the usual groceries and amenities, we decided to buy a cake.  Not for any particular event, mind you... just to raise our spirits a bit.  Neru tries to be strong (perhaps out of pride, perhaps out of concern) but when i saw her looking up from her phone to gaze towards the bakery, I had to ask.

“No, it’s fine,” she replied, turning away.  “We should just stick with what we need.”

I suggested we could buy something for all five of us.  She said our budget was still tight... but in the end she conceded and we bought a small raspberry white chocolate bar cake.  It looks delicious and I can’t wait to try it- it was only 750V - but Dell says he’s busy tonight, so I guess we’ll have to wait until tomorrow.  Neru can invite her siblings over and we can all just hang out...  It’s been a while.

I dunno what I’m doing, exactly...  I guess “askblog” does have “blog” in it?  If any of you actually listened all the way through my ramble...  Maybe I’ll do more of these in the future.  Who knows.

I wonder why I even try to make my own, original stuff, when there’s already so much good stuff out there.  when there are so many other people making such amazing things on their own.  when I look up, and see nothing but the stars, unreachable and impossible.  when I look down, and see the insignificant number of amateur posts we’ve made in over a year.

Then I remember my own few ideas, the stories I want to tell, the feelings I want to convey.  I remember our birthdays, coming up in a few months.  I remember the few friends we’ve made, rooting for me on the sidelines.  I remember how fun it is to draw, and to write.

I remember why I’m here. And then I remember... or, perhaps I realize how pointless this is-  Nobody will remember this plea come tomorrow, or the day after.  So what if my laptop was stolen- if Haku’s notebooks full of drawings and writings were taken-  they can easily be rewritten, redrawn, redownloaded...  recreated I’m just...  i just

i

i’m sorry, i’m.. tired; I...

you see all the people you follow and admire doing really cool stuff and art and interactions and headcanons and stories and stuff and you want to too but you don’t have the motivation or confidence to actually do anything with your own ideas