#testosterone posting

I posted 3,098 times in 2022

That's 1,861 more posts than 2021!

38 posts created (1%)

3,060 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@wunky

@paddington-two

@crtter

@dykevirgo

@chitsangenthusiast

I tagged 481 of my posts in 2022

#homesick tag - 19 posts

#to the void - 19 posts

#prev - 13 posts

#testosterone posting - 11 posts

#<3 - 10 posts

#art - 8 posts

#boyreceptionist - 7 posts

#he/they - 7 posts

#jaxcore - 6 posts

#tma - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#my mom just talked to me about the queen while i was typing this and all i said was ‘i hope she croaks’ and that feels very fitting to share

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

someone use he pronouns on me stat before i’m erased from this timeline

22 notes - Posted February 23, 2022

#4

by far the most iconic ride to get to the trans gym!

(id in alt text)

27 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

#3

your local hell hound (he/they) ID in alt text.

materials: hot glue, acrylic paint, elastic, construction paper, diet coke cardboard case, beads. 3 day build time. Vintage red leather jacket also restored by me.

mask details below cut 👇

See the full post

30 notes - Posted November 1, 2022

#2

happy pride, stay vigilant and freaky

(id in alt text)

32 notes - Posted June 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

my body has been wracked with grief since the shooting at Club Q on Trans Day of Remembrance, exactly 42 years after the shooting in Greenwich at multiple gay bars. That it happened in the same week a gay bar in nyc has had a brick thrown through their window 3 times. for all the moments we don’t make the news for.

i don’t have anything transformative to say and i’m beyond empty. yet, i still find myself dreaming through death and massacre and criminalization,

of a world where we live long lives

of a world i get to meet you

of a world we kiss our lovers and friends not worrying it’ll be the last

of a world where you get home safe, a world where you got home safe.

i’m waiting for your “got home safe” text. i’m waiting to hear the door unlock and to know you survived.

i feel desperate to keep going, not out of spite but dedication. for every moment taken away from us i will carry you with me. and if an early grave comes for me we’ll still find a way forward.

it wasn’t your time and you’re still gone. rest in peace is a cheap salve but i hope you find it; rest and peace.

Daniel Davis Aston, Raymond Green, Kelly Loving, Ashley Paugh, Derrick Rump.

34 notes - Posted November 23, 2022

*remembers my testosterone is 80 cents cheaper than 6-8 months ago*

weird thing to conclude for being on t but like,,,,,,,, porn is a little too accessible nowadays lmao. not trying to be puritanical about it but god do i have a new sympathy/understanding for teenage boys, i yam an Adult TM, and the brainrot i feel form just,,, being able to go look at porn when i'm bored or in between tasks is like alarming lol. but trying to imagine being a teenager with this level of Horny and the almost Need to see explicit stuff is humbling. idk it's just a weird observation. Uh. having a mental thing where i am excited to be less attractive to cis men b/c that means I read more as masc to them and therefore it's be gay to think i'm cute but also like, cis men finding me attractive was validating bc it meant that i wasn't as ugly as i had thought/been told by mean people. (off hand bc this happened before T, but god it was so affirming when two of the Straightest coworkers I ever had would jostle and handle me like One Of The Dudes even tho I know they didn't see me as one.)

anyways,

uh, my boobs are changing i think? they seem not as firm or "perky" which is whatever, because I honestly just ignore them most of them time, i've been very lucky in the sense that I never get major dysphoria from them, only inconvenienced that they are a """female""" trait type thing. my period is unpredictable which is new for me, but it's shorter too. uh i need to get labs done within the next month or so, check with the clinic about how the journey is going. Voice is def dropping, mom keeps telling me how much I sound like my older brother which is fun. I've noticed that the main reason I might have that like, 'squeaky' sound that is kinda typical for transmasc voices is the like, higher social inflection we tend to use as 'girls' to sound pleasant and approachable, so I've been consciously training myself out of that, and it's helped a lot I think. My singing is still fine, I think my lessons with Cera training me out of "choir voice" into "solo voice" are doing the heavy lifting. I always would sing an octave down anyway, so the shift has been easy i think. Idk if I sound any good, but it feels nice in my throat. Getting excited is Rough bc that's when the big vocal breaks and squeaks are really noticeable. Laughing is… eeuughhg embarrassing but I'll deal. Laughter is good no matter what it sounds like. I'm not gonna talk about my dick other than that we're still getting to know each other and I'm a lot less off-put by his existence than I used to be. And the hair. Gots a lil mustache that I shave like one or twice a week. starting to see some chin hair which is p cool. lil bit of tummy hair. butt hair is… there. VERY itchy sometimes, which is my biggest woe.

I think one of the more surprising things is how much I like the injections vs the gel. Like the whole ritual of the vial and needles does a good thing for my brain, and I'm getting good at it, plus it's so much less messy than the gel was for me. It's dare I say kind of fun. overall we're going in the right direction. I don't think there will ever be a time where I'm 100% happy with how I look, or how my body behaves but the most important thing is that I am trying to get to a point where it's at least not Upsetting to be who and what I physically am.

been almost low low low key thinking of adding the 'It' pronoun, but idk I find myself wishing there was like. A third pronoun, that isn't 'they' or 'it' but is still in the neutral territory. Something for a Creature Like Me. Like how ships and boats are called 'she' but like the 'he' equivalent. He/They will have to do for now tho.