#terl

Actor: John Travolta is well-known as a Scientologist, so it’s no shock he’d want to put his best foot forward for a character from a book written by L. Ron Hubbard. The thing is, considering the overall quality of the rest of the film, John Travolta is honestly trying way too hard. He plays Terl like he’s some epic Shakesperean character, delivering the stupidest lines you’ll ever see with the conviction of a trained thespian. It would probably be one of the most depressing sights in human history if it wasn’t so goddamn funny. Are we really sure Travolta and Nicolas Cage switched their faces back at the end of Face/Off? Because there’s some prime Nicolas Cage moments here. The absolutely ridiculous accent he uses for Terl is just icing on the cake.

Motivation/Goals: Terl, much like every other Psychlo, is a stupid, greedy bastard. To this end, he wants gold, which is why Psychlos invaded Earth in the first place. Somehow these guys never noticed Fort Knox in the millenium they’ve been on Earth, but after watching the film you’ll understand why these guys never noticed it. There’s really not much too him aside from that, Terl is just really greedy, which is a boring motivation to be sure, but the motivation isn’t really Terl’s selling point.

Personality: Terl is just an idiot, which is pretty much par for the course for every Psychlo in the film. He is part of a race of egotistical, backstabbing morons who constantly underestimate everyone and flaunt their supposed superiority while making the most amateur mistakes and missing obvious signs. This, incidentally, is what makes him so enjoyable to watch, seeing as his constant screwing up turns the film into an unintentional comedy whenever he does just about anything.

Final Fate: Terl has his arm blown off and is trapped in a cage in Fort Knox, surrounded by the gold he tried so hard to get. Also, he has to live with the knowledge that his stupidity got his entire planet blown up.

Best Scene: The entire scene in the bar. Words just cannot do it justice.

Best Quote: Say it with me now: "While you were still learning how to spell your name, I was being trained to conquer galaxies!" The ridiculous inflections and emphasis only make this line all the more memorable.

Final Thoughts & Score: Terl is so goddamn stupid. I don’t think there has ever been or will ever be again a villain this mind-bogglingly dumb in any form of fiction. This is a guy who teaches his slaves literally everything about his race via brain upload so that they know everything in an instant, shows them inspiring Revolutionary War documents, abuses his henchmen and steals the main character’s girlfriend, and just in general underestimates his foes constantly, and even ends up blowing his own arm off because he just plain isn’t paying attention to anything around him. That’s not even getting into the fact his stupid actions directly lead to the humans blowing up his entire home planet and wiping out most of his race; this guy is one of the most colossal failures you could ever imagine.

But much like the ineptitude of the rest of the film, his constant aggressive idiocy only adds to his charm. I can’t really justify in any sort of objective sense giving Terl anything higher than a 2/10, but just know that even with that score Terl is the best possible 2/10 you could get. There’s just something so hilarious about John Travolta’s serious dedication and conviction to this character that, despite being the main villain of the work, seems to go out of his way to do the opposite of what any villain should do. Terl is so comically inept he is almost a parody of sci-fi villains, but this is almost surely unintentional on the part of the writers.