anyways the crux of the problem a lot of us (and just specifically me) have with r*ylo is:
they tend to take Finnās existing personality traits and plot arcs and give them to Kylo Ren; sometimes erasing Finn as a character entirely, which is rather racist, even if they claim to have no ill intent (you can be unintentionally racist yknow thatās what most racism is). I suspect itās because Finn has real tangible chemistry with Rey but Iāll avoid getting into that.
romanticizing abuse & non consensual actions. Saying him invading her mind was romantic, or the bridal carry when he abducted her, for example; did yāall ever think it was romantic when Voldemort got inside Harry Potterās mind? No, because they werenāt a woman and a man you could project heterosexual fantasies on to.
crying that theyāre being harassed by people who were mostly just making jokes about not liking the ship and specifically tagging them with the anti tag and censoring the ship and/or character names so they could be easily filtered or wouldnāt show up in the tags at all. Yea harassing people for ships isnāt good, but maybe in general we should act less like weāre more righteous solely because people are angry at us. Thatās not how it works. Especially when some people use it as a defense to creating harmful content (like romanticized rape fiction).
that our first Star Wars female Main Jedi protagonist would end up with a character who is both a murderer and an active player in a fascist government. Important to note that he is also a grown man, who is very capable of making informed decisions, and therefore entirely culpable for all of his actions. That she would choose someone like that, who hurt her friends, herself, killed people she cared for, has used textbook abusive manipulative tactics to get her on his side, is scary and not a good romantic story. One movie does not give enough time for him to legitimately redeem himself enough for a romance between them to be appropriate. (Iād say maybe enough for him to be awkwardly on the good side a la the Malfoys at the end of Harry Potter or like a criminal who names names for a more lenient sentence but thatās it).
āreverse anidalaā drives me crazy as someone who really enjoys the anidala tragic love story (itās a little Romeo & Juliet Shakespearean tragedy where youāre inevitably heading towards a bad ending and thereās nothing you can do to escape it, really). When Anakin and PadmĆ© are together, itās specifically the parts of the saga where Anakin is a hero; where he is trying his best to be a good person and do the right thing. PadmĆ© falls in love with him because heās genuine, heroic, and a little bit reckless. Once he goes off the deepend; killing children & his friends, actually actively supporting fascism; sheās 100% not on board, quote āyouāre breaking my heartā. She was in love with someone & had to leave when they started to hurt others and herself. Even maybe she shouldnāt have gotten on board with it when he killed an entire village of sand people, (but granted, they abducted his mother & he was obviously remorseful immediately afterwards + heās basically a teenage soldier at this point; not saying itās not bad, just that this is markedly different from all the times Kylo Ren has committed murder) but I also think the way the anidala love story concludes drives home that their relationship probably wasnāt the best idea anyways. Another popular comparison is Pride & Prejudice. Mr. Darcy may have been rude to Elizabeth and may have made mistakes that affected her family, but none of the things he did were as serious as Literal Murder or Abduction. Once he realized how he had misjudged the situation he immediately apologized and made big strides to make up for his mistakes. Elizabeth comes to realize she also misjudged him, that he was only trying to look out for those he loved just as she was looking out for the people she cared about. I have no idea how in the world that is anything like the relationship Kylo Ren and Rey have except for that itās two people who are at odds with each other, at least in the beginning. And Mr. Darcy is kind of broody I guess and usually has long dark hair. The thing with Kylo Ren is that he has already treated Rey and her friends poorly and thatās not something that can be forgiven easily, or someone a person should be in a relationship with. Heās also not a character who has friends or loved ones that he cares for that would make him sympathetic, unlike Mr. Darcy or Anakin. Anakin killed for the people he loved, it was terrible and bad! But we understood what got him there. We understand those intentions and how they can go awry if you choose to believe the end justifies the means. Darcy is a similar reflection of those intentions, except that his mistakes arenāt near as monstrous & easily forgiven. Kylo Ren is motivated by what? Entitlement? A slightly unstable family dynamic? I know Luke āalmost killed himā but he had already begun exploring the dark side at that point so what got him there? Not a desire to protect his loved ones thatās for sure. Iām just very personally bothered by these parallels, as they are unequal, and they undermine what I think is good about these other stories.
that they so actively push for it to be canon. You do realize you can have just as much fun with a non canon ship as a canon one. You donāt need to see it realized on screen to have fun with your villain and hero fall in love stories. We all know Rey is just your self insert so you can have romantic trysts with Kylo Ren because you think Adam Driver or sith dudes are hot or w/e; it might be better to just accept and acknowledge that, rather than stand on your soap box telling everyone itās the best.
Anyways, in conclusion, I donāt like this ship. Iād say itās fine for you to indulge in it as a guilty pleasure (like Iām a sucker for vaderdala, itās not like thatās āmorally superiorā). But I think the entirety of that group of people who ship it really need to consider the ramifications of what they write and what they romanticize and who theyāre erasing from the narrative (coughFinncough) and what kind of message it would actually send if it was truly canon.
I also apologize for mentioning Harry Potter so much I have no idea what that was the material I drew parallels to; there are so many other books and shows and movies Iāve interacted with far more recently than Harry Potter. Maybe itās because itās a widely known piece of literature so itās easier for others to see the comparisons Iām making? Hopefully.
And I wonāt interact with this ship on any level except to make jokes at its expense because it fills me with an intense rage that stems from all of these many issues that I take from it. Even if itās just someone innocuously enjoying it as a crack ship who doesnāt romanticize the bad things about it. Itās been ruined for me forever by the vocal fandom surrounding it.