Turnip in the City Volume 4: Benjo the Friendjo in the City
Benjo the Frienjo. He was a legend of a man, nay.... a god of a man. In his time, he fought many battles, in many terrains, but no terrain was more difficult than the terrain of love...
In a small town on the edge of a cliff, lived Benjamin the Friendjam. Benjamin wished for a better life than this small village, “I want to live in the city, where the rabbits' gallop and the rats dance...” He’d often say to himself. One day he got a letter from the city of Young Democratic Socialists. They had heard of his talent for arguing debates with people and wanted to hire him as their Mayor! He was thrilled! At last! Recognition! He was so thrilled in fact that he nearly knocked over his 3ft Karl Marx Statue. “Happy Day!” he cried. “I could not ask for a better opportunity for this has been my dream for ions...” He wept with happiness!! Then Benjo packed his things and prepared to leave his small village. He said goodbye to all of his loved ones. “Goodbye Neighbor Bob,” said Ben. “See ya bruh.” said Neighbor Bob. He gave a goodbye kiss to each of his 125 parakeets. “Goodbye Samson, Goodbye Willamena, Goodbye...Spongebob! Goodbye William, Goodbye Lexis, Goodbye Shatner! Goodbye George! (and so on... there was a shiz ton of parakeets.) And then he set off on the road to the city of Young Democratic Socialists, with nothing but two mechanical pencils in his pocket. Banjo Benji enjoyed the train ride, because he liked trains. The conductor came over to Ben and said “aren’t Banjo Benjo? The great chess player??” “Indeeeeeeedddd I am.” said Ben Jovi. “This is a pleasure sir, seeing as I watch the chess tournaments every night!” The conductor cried. Banjovi just smiled and said, “It's not about the pawns you play son, it's about the queens you bone.” The conductor bowed “Thank you for your wise advice sir, I don’t know who I’d be without you...” The conductor then left to fulfill in conducting duties. Friendjamin stared out the wind at the landscape flying by and soon he was asleep.
When he awoke, it was a bustling city outside of the window. Ben Thought that he might cry! “This is the most amazing thing to ever happen to me.” He exclaimed! He began to walk around the city and soon found his apartment. The apartment was indeed impressed, but it lacked something...Roommates! He called up his loving sister Emily and his buddy Tessa. “Y’all wanna come live with me in the city of Young Democratic Socialists?” Both of them had nothing to lose, they were just cat ladies. “Can we grow in your apartment man?” “Uuuuuuuh, I guess.” Said frienjo, “Um, also, we need to bring some of our cats... All of our cats.” “Uhhh, as long as I don’t have to pay for it.” said Benjo. “Chill...”They said, and they hung up. And later they brought with them, a fourth roommate. Jimbo, the Shizhead. Because they wanted cheaper rent.
Shortly after his arrival to the city, Benjamin the Freindammin was elected mayor. His slogan for his campaign had been “Viva la Revolution”. And before his first 6 months in office, he had transformed the city into a Socialist Mecca. Full of posters of Marx and constant free government funded magical for all to enjoy. It was...a Utopia. Friendjamie got married to a beautiful young woman. Her name was Phillip Glass and she was the love of his life. Until...
One day Frienjamin spied a used heroin needle and got an urge he had never felt before. “I think, I should do this heroin...” he thought to himself. He called up his two amazing talented friends, who still lived in his basement, Tessa, and Emily. “Guys, should I just like... do this heroin right now? I think I want to.” “Uuuh, I don’t know man... I’m really stoned and I have no idea what you just said...” Said Emily. Benjo said, “You won’t need to take care of me, did you know that heroin is sucked up by your brain stem and then enter your occipital lobe?” The call ended, due to ben spouting drug facts. He then decided that he would do the heroin. I was nice and made him feel like a happy lil Frienjo. He skipped home, a happy boy indeed. But Benjamin’s life spiraled after that moment... First, he was addicted to heroin and made rash political decisions. He legally renamed everyone in the city to be a famous chess players name. Then, came the sex scandal. Frienjamin had been having an affair with several interns at his office. And had produced more than 500 love childs in the last 5 years of his term as mayor. This was because he loved to love and was also on heroin and had less inhibition. This broke poor Phillip Glass’s heart and ruined his marriage. But through all of this, Ben never forgot the power of friendship. And because of this, his friends decided they were going to rescue him. They used the magic of the telepathic link the transform themselves into a giant Phoenix with two heads and lemons for feathers. They swooped over to city hall and snatched Brenjamin from his bed as he slept. “Its time to leave the city of Young Democratic Socialists, banjo.” they screeched. When Ben awoke, he was leaning against a palm tree, and looking out on blue waters. His 125 birds were all waiting for him in the trees above. They squeaked with welcome has the rose. Am in heaven?”, he asked. “No.,” said the lemon bird, “This is just an island for you. We traded it with someone for a shit ton of weed man...” and the bird swooped into the sky and flew away. Ben was left confused. But then his favorite bird, Pi, flew over and pecked his nose. Ben was overjoyed with the fact that he was with so many birds again. He decided to make this his new home. And he lives there to this day.
