#teamfortart

It wasn’t uncommon for me to mess with Spamton by tickling him silly. When the sleazy little salesman needed to be taken down a peg, it was a fast, for-sure way to keep his ego in check. Sure, he’d swear and lightly slap at his attacker, legs kicking all the while, but I never took it too far. I could tell from the way he never complained after that he didn’t really mind it – he wasn’t one for over-the-top gestures of affection, but it was pretty easy to figure out just how touch starved the guy was. He might huff and pretend he hated it, but it almost seemed like he provoked me on purpose at times.

The attacks weren’t just one-sided, either; plenty of times before, he had tried to get me back, normally while I was distracted, or finally level with him by sitting or laying down. It was never difficult to turn the tables. He was a good foot shorter than me, and his porcelain body made him much lighter than me, so putting a stop to his attack was as simple as picking him up. It sure didn’t deter him from trying again, and again… and again. But it was funny to see the brief look of triumph on his face turn to one of disappointment as I defeated him yet again. Oh, how he swore every time that if he were bigger, stronger, that he’d easily get me back for all the times I “[Get in touch now!] YOUR FAVORITE [Top-rated salesman 1997] OUT OF JEALOUSY.”

Little did I know just how literally he meant that. Spamton Neo had come and gone, and neither of us had enjoyed it, in the end. The brief sense of “F R E E D O M” he felt quickly diminished the longer I fought him – I was hurt that he had tricked me, and the guilt was eating him up as we battled. Once we got him back in his old body, he swore he’d never do that again. I’m sure both of us from back then would be shocked to know now that I had actually helped him build another Neo… this time without the extravagant super-weapons. He wanted to relive his Bigshot days, and I made him promise me he wouldn’t go as far as he did before, which he valiantly swore to. He agreed he’d let me remove the disc and reinsert it to his old body after a little while – just to ensure he wouldn’t start power-tripping and grow violent again.

And so here I stood, the 9-foot-tall mech before me, shuddering to life, steam gushing from its slightly-parted jaws, duo-toned glasses flickering as a pair of pupils swiveled to focus on me. Creaking and hissing as air was expelled from the vents, his arms stretched above his head, body shaking from the feeling of finally being lived in.

“AHH, IT’S [Better than great] TO BE BACK!” Spamton announced, sat criss-crossed as his hands rested on his knees, leaning down to look at me. I smiled, my expression mirroring his – he looked so happy.

“Everything feels alright? No areas of discomfort?” I watched as he stood and stretched his legs, testing his joints. I hesitated before adding, “...no sudden urge to destroy me?”

He scoffed, rolling his eyes. “THIS IS ABOUT [Your local dealership], AND YOU’RE SOMEHOW MAKING THIS ABOUT [Number one customer]. NO URGES TO DO [Anything] TO YOU, I SWEAR.” There was a brief pause before he suddenly swiveled his head to look at me, squinting. “WELL…” The way he trailed off had me anxiously fiddling with my fingers. Oh no… please tell me this hadn’t been a mistake?

“Well, what…?” I asked nervously, subconsciously taking a step back, half expecting my soul to be ripped from my body and thrown into battle. I had defeated him once – I could do it again. I just really, really didn’t want to. I mean, we were past that, right?

I squeaked in surprise as he suddenly crouched down and grabbed me with one giant hand, sitting criss-cross on the ground again and cradling me in one arm. I raised an eyebrow at the gesture, eyes wide as they darted up to meet his unreadable gaze, intentions hidden behind the glint of his glasses.

“Uhh, Spamton? What are you doing…?” Now I squinted at him. He wasn’t going to hurt me, that much was now clear, but I still felt a little unnerved. Just a few seconds of being in his new body and my friend had wordlessly scooped me up like I was nothing. Finally, his voice crackled to life above me, sounding terrifyingly low and condescending.

“DO YOU REMEMBER ALL THE [Get with the times!] YOU WOULD [Put some elbow grease into it]? JUST FOR YOUR OWN [Laughing out loud]?”

I merely blinked at him. Even knowing him for as long as I had, it was still sometimes difficult to understand him past all the ads.

“Huh?”

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his free hand, eyes fluttering shut. “WHEN YOU’D YOU’D [Gentle touch]- NO, WHEN YOU’D [Take a stab at it]-” He put a hand against his head, craning his neck and sucking in a breath. I nearly jumped out of my skin as he suddenly veered down, face inches from me and eyes blown wide in frustration.

“T I C K L I N G.” My face heated up almost immediately as the understanding hit me. I glanced down at the position I was in… oh. When I looked back up at him, his grin had stretched to appear even more shit-eating than usual.

“Hey, come on, you’d always get me back after!” I stuttered, shifting nervously against his chest, staring and falling silent as his other hand slowly rose to hover above me, fingers in a claw-like motion. I tried to shuffle backwards, a nervous smile spreading across my face, but he held me securely against him, and I suddenly understood how he must’ve felt whenever I’d pick him up and bully him like this.

“DON’T ACT LIKE I EVEN STOOD [Take a chance]. YOU’VE HAD THIS COMING FOR A [Limited time offer]...”

He chuckled mischievously as his fingers started wiggling, descending upon me.

I instinctively pushed against his hand and found that it was actually giving way a little, already giggling nervously without him even touching me yet. It was even more flustering to realize that he was going easy on me on purpose – the mech might not have any weapons, but it was still definitely stronger than me physically, and yet I was able to keep his hand about a foot away from me, even as his fingers wiggled tauntingly. I heard the smirk in his voice as he slowly started applying more pressure, making it harder and harder to keep the attack at bay.

“YOU HAVING SOME [higher difficulty] THERE?” He mused, punctuating the sentence with another sharp push from his hand, his fingers barely grazing my stomach for a second, to which I jumped.

“N-No! I’m perfectly f-fine!” I shot back, wincing as I stuttered. I contradicted my obvious bluff by attempting to use my legs to help push his hand away… to which he immediately pinned them back down using the hand on the arm that held me, and I huffed in frustration as my own arms started to buckle.

“YOU SURE?” He drawled. “LOT OF [sister struggling] FOR SOMEONE NOT AFRAID OF A LITTLE [Coochie coochie coo!]”

Trying my best to ignore that last comment, I bluffed even further, hoping he didn’t see through to my real intentions. I actually let go of his hand, which shocked him enough that his fingers stopped wiggling, his hand stilling.

“Yeah, I’m not afraid.” I made a ‘come at me’ type of gesture, holding his gaze with faux confidence. “I’m actually impressed. Lot of stalling for someone so salty about how easy they are to tickle.”

He blinked at me a few times. Then, just like that, I was a laughing, shrieking mess – it had happened so quickly that I almost missed the way his cheeks grew an even brighter red, his fingers digging into my sides, ribs and stomach serving as a distraction to both me and himself. At first, he seemed shocked by how easy it was to make me laugh, before he started giggling too, clearly having way too much fun.

“HA! WHERE’D ALL THOSE [bragging rights] GO?!” He boasted, already starting to hone in on particularly bad spots, eating up my every reaction. “HOW’S IT FEEL BEING THE [Little guy]?! NOT SO [big and strong] NOW, ARE YA?!” If I wasn’t actively being reduced to a puddle in his arms, I’d have found it adorable how fast everything was going to his head.

“So what does thihis make the scohore?! One to one hundrehed?!” I forced through my laughter, just to rile him up even more. I threw my head back with a squeal as he suddenly started pinching up and down my ribs, his other fingers digging into my side.

“GUESS I’LL JUST HAVE TO KEEP [Tease and squeeze] YOU UNTIL WE’RE [even lower price], THEN, WON’T I?” I finally decided I’d stop purposely aggravating him as I felt my face explode in color, eyes widening as I wondered if he was serious. “WHAT’S THE MATTER, [Squeaky toy]? YOU’RE THE ONE THAT [Pin-point accuracy] THAT OUT!”

“Dohon’t call me thahat!” I shrieked in embarrassment, alternating between fruitlessly pushing at his hand again, which was now proving immovable, and hiding my face.

“WHY? DOES IT NOT…” He briefly paused, and I grew rightfully worried at the way his smile seemed to grow wider. “...[tickle your fancy]?” He cackled loudly at his own joke, and I had no choice but to laugh at it, too, falling into hysterics as he suddenly shoved his fingers under my arms.

“I’m nahat a squeaheaky toy!” My protest came out as a pathetic whine, and he laughed even louder.

“OH REALLY? BECAUSE YOU SURE MAKE [Just the cutest little] NOISES WHEN I-” I didn’t even know what to think as he suddenly yanked my shirt up a bit, just enough that he could lean down and blow a raspberry.

I had given Spamton them on occasion in the past, if he was being really stubborn, because they completely destroyed him. I was no different now – especially with how he could cover basically my entire stomach. I shrieked and squealed, pushing frantically at his head as he chuckled against my stomach, making it indescribably worse. I had to tap out.

“OKAYOKAYOKAY!” I shouted, and to my relief, he immediately pulled back, lowering me so I rested in his lap. He looked me over for a moment as I caught my breath and pulled my shirt back down, making sure I was okay, before sighing and giggling, studying me with his head resting on his fist.

“ONE TO [Win a hundred dollars!]” He reminded me, and I stopped in my tracks to stare up at him.

“Are you… seriously going to keep count?” I smiled nervously, glancing away.

“YOU WOULDN’T [Complaints, comments, concerns].” He seemed dead-set in his arguing point as he grinned at me with lidded eyes.

I coughed into the crook of my arm to disguise the blush creeping up my face, averting my gaze. “Whatever…” I squeaked as he gently jabbed me in the side to bring my attention right back to him.

“YOU THINK I DON’T [Find out now!] WHY YOU KEPT [Cheering me on] WHILE I WAS [Here comes the tickle monster!] YOU?”

Ah. I’d been found out. Not that I secretly wanted to be or anything.

“Well”, I stuttered, clearing my throat as his eyes bore into me. “I mean…” I twiddled my fingers. “It’s just… nice… having you be able to do it back without me making it easy for you…”

He sighed before ruffling my hair, his gaze softening.

“WELL”, he started, mimicking my cadence, “NOW THAT I’M [BIG] AGAIN…” He leaned back and crossed his arms. “FEEL FREE TO [Ask for a loan] ANYTIME.”

I paused before slowly quirking a brow. “...You are gonna let me take that disc out again, right?”

An ominous look was shielded behind the glare of those glasses.

“Right?”

“WHAT ARE YOU GONNA [Due] IF I [Say no to Prop 34]?” He leaned back down, arms still crossed, except now I could see the confident look on his face. I surprised him as I burst out laughing, leaning against him so I wouldn’t fall over.

“WHAT’S SO [Funny birthday cards]?” He demanded, cocking his head.

I looked up at him with a confidence that rivaled his own. “I’ll make it one to a hundred-and-one.” I made a claw shape with my hands, poised right in front of his midsection. He cackled at my warning, getting a dangerous look in his eye.

“YOU THINK YOU CAN [Were you in a wreck?] ME EVEN AFTER I JUST [Totaled] YOU?!”

“I might’ve put some… bonus features… into this new mech.” My smirk only grew as he squinted his eyes at me, the upturn of his permanent smile pivoting downwards.

“...WHAT DID YOU?-”

Before he could even ask, I quickly jabbed him in the sides, to which a staticky squeal burst from his speakers, and his arms flew to cover himself defensively, eyes blown wide as understanding hit him

“Twice the sensitivity.”