#teamcap4bucky

With a gasping breath you’re jolted awake, squinting one eye open to see Shuri standing above you, her palms are still pushing against your shoulders.

“Y/N wake up!”

Oh, it was just a dream. The tension in your body relaxes as you nuzzle your face back into the softness of your pillow. “Shuri stop, lemme sleep, it’s Saturday,” you groaned.

“I know it is, I was sleeping too until your alarm woke me up. That thing has been going off for twenty minutes. Don’t you have an appointment to go to?”

Your eyes shot open. “Shit!”

You get up, throwing the blankets off yourself as fast as possible to get out of bed. Why you decided to make your appointment at 8am you’ll never truly understand. If I get up early I’ll have the whole day to be productive, you mock yourself in your head.

With a wide yawn Shuri leaves your room, saying she’s headed back to bed. Your own bed looks so inviting, it’s calling out for you to come back. It was very tempting to cancel the appointment and go back to sleep but you wouldn’t.

Your dentist is a really nice man who worked with you a few years ago during an emergency visit when you didn’t have insurance. He reduced his fees to the bare minimum and even then let you pay him off over the course of a few months. He had a small practice in Brooklyn he ran with his wife and in the world of cheap deals on Groupon you knew he was struggling a bit.

In less than a minute you were dressed and rushing in to the bathroom to wash the sleep from your face and give a thorough brushing to your teeth. Morning breath was still heavy on your tongue so you made sure to scrape that well too. Checking your phone for the time you realized you might be cutting it close to your appointment, so you grabbed what you needed and headed out.

The subway ride was quick but you still had a few blocks to walk once you got out. The street was a lot busier than you expected especially for so early in the morning but that was mainly due to a new popular cafe that recently opened. The lines were crazy long and as much as you wanted to try their Instagrammable treats you figured you’d wait a little bit for the hype to die down.

Checking your phone once more you realized you had one minute to go and two long blocks to still walk. You picked up the pace and turned the corner at the cafe, looking down to secure your phone back in your bag and not paying attention to the person coming out of the door.

You collided with a solid frame, getting knocked back a bit but thankfully not falling. A dentist appointment is enough, you certainly didn’t need a visit to the emergency room. Something did fall however, the two cups of coffee the man was holding.

“I’m so sorry!” you blurted out, looking down at the mess on the ground, with coffee spilling out from the overturned cups.

Glancing up you saw the man standing there, still holding the now empty coffee tray in his hand, with his mouth gaping open in shock. Your own mouth dropped open while staring at what was possibly the most handsome man you’ve ever seen.

Tall and well built, looking unfairly good in a sharp black suit with a simple white button down, casually left open at the top. His rich brown hair was cropped short with perfectly groomed stubble covering his jawline.

Realizing you were gawking at him you shook yourself free from his handsome aura and prompted yourself to actually speak.

“I’m so sorry, please let me pay you for them,” you offered, digging your hand into your bag to pull out some money.

“No need, it was my fault,” he replied, with the words falling from his perfectly pink lips like silk. “Did I spill any on you?”

You were definitely sure this was your fault but the sincerity of his tone combined with the sweetest look those incredible blue eyes were giving you would make you believe anything he said. In response to his question you shook your head, not knowing if you were even telling the truth since you couldn’t bother to pull your gaze away from him again.

“I’m glad to hear that. Could I buy you a coffee for your trouble? Although it might take a while with this line,” he chuckled.

Yes is what you wanted to say. You would have waited in a month long line if it meant you’d be with this incredibly handsome man but you were definitely late to your appointment by now and you simply wouldn’t cancel on your dentist like that.

“I’m sorry I have to go,” you quickly trailed off as your feet began to carry you in the direction you needed to be. “Again, I’m so sorry about the coffee!”

You really wished you had woken up earlier, maybe then you would have had a spare moment to actually talk to the hot guy and try your luck at getting his number. He did offer to buy you a coffee so that seemed promising but then you remembered the two cups spilled on the ground. Two cups of coffee for one person didn’t seem completely unlikely but a guy as hot as that is definitely in a relationship. Oh well.

By the time you reached the office you were slightly out of breath after deciding that you should speed walk the rest of the way there to make up for lost time. It didn’t help that you picked the wrong jacket to wear on the awfully sunny morning.

It took a moment to steady your breathing before you rang the bell and were buzzed in.

“Dr. Barnes!” you exclaimed, not expecting to see him behind the reception desk where his wife usually is. “I’m sorry I’m late.”

“That’s alright Y/N, it’s a just a few minutes,” he confirmed, checking the watch on his wrist.

You followed Dr. Barnes down the hallway whose walls were lined with posters of people smiling, showing off bright white teeth that advertised all kinds of dental products and procedures.

“My next appointment actually cancelled,” he said, turning his head back a bit as he continued to take you to the examination room. “Turns out they didn’t want to get up this early on a Saturday.”

“I can’t imagine anyone that would,” you remarked with light sarcasm while sharing a smile.

The exam room had recently been redecorated with beigey-grey wood running throughout the floor. The former textured blue wall paper was gone, replaced by a fresh coat of light grey paint on all but one wall that was a deep teal blue. Dr. Barnes’ old desk and bulky computer were replaced by a modern floating desk and a monitor that was clearly a touch screen, though a wireless keyboard and mouse were on top of the polished surface.

You knew Dr. Barnes wasn’t comfortable with new technology. His flip phone made you laugh every time you saw it but it only added to his endearing charm. His wife Winnie adapted faster to her new phone though she has asked you the occasional question or two.

“The room looks great,” you said, hanging up your jacket on the small hook on the wall. “Did Winnie do this?”

His lips were pulled into a smile as he shook his head, “No, my son actually.”

You sat in the dental chair getting yourself comfortable as Dr. Barnes pressed a button for the automatic cup filler beside you as he continued, “He’s been back for a while now.”

Dr. Barnes would often talk about his children as he made small talk during the exam. His son James had gone to college in Indiana and also studied dentistry. Dr. Barnes had hoped James would eventually work at the family practice.

“…If only he learned to be on time,” Dr. Barnes sighed.

He glanced over at the frame on his desk, an picture of his family from over a decade ago when the kids were younger. From your angle you could see bright happy faces and James smiling with mouth full of metal. The poor kid ticked off all the boxes that made up an awkward teen, braces, acne and a lanky body with long stringy hair that looked like it needed a good wash. Rebecca, his daughter, thankfully didn’t look like she had any of the problems her brother did, and Winnie looked as radiant then as she did now.

“Where is Winnie anyway?” you wondered.

Dr. Barnes smiled at the mention of his wife’s name and you found it endearing to see how clearly in love they were. “Sleeping in this morning. Rebecca’s asked her to come along later while she looks for a wedding dress. Knowing my daughter, Win’s gonna need as much rest as possible!”

His fingers slowly clacked away at the keyboard, making you smile as he used both index fingers to slowly type out your name.”

“With Becca engaged I keep telling James he needs to catch up.”

“I’m sure he appreciates it,” you chuckled.

Dr. Barnes pressed the backspace key a few times, clearly unable to have a conversation while he was concentrating on typing. He let his hands rest in his lap for a moment, running his thumb along the gold band that has long since settled in the groove it created on his finger all those years ago.

“I just want to see him settle down with someone nice,” he said, pressing his lips together to form a tight smile.

You know he meant well and having had similar conversations with your own parents you can only assume the conversations are just as awkward for James as they are for you. A few times you’ve tried to explain to your parents how dating is much different today from their time but they don’t always understand. The conversation about why “nice guys” on the internet don’t actually exist seemed to have gone over their heads so you definitely understand James’ suffering.

“If it makes you feel better my parents say the same thing.”

Dr. Barnes’ sparkling blue eyes lit up at you words, as a smile slowly spread across his face. “Well, can I interest you in my son? He’s much better looking than I am and not a single cavity!”

“No cavities you say? That’s the first thing I look for in a man.”

The crinkles surrounding his eyes were prominent as Dr. Barnes gave a bellowing laugh. After finally pulling up your chart he briefly went over your medical history before taking x-rays. He placed the lead vest on your body and positioned the arm of the machine in place so he could begin. The sound of an ancient ringtone stopped his actions and Dr. Barnes excused himself to take the call in another room.

The weighted vest was comforting against your still sleepy form easing your eyes to gently shut. It would have been very easy to fall asleep but the dentist’s office was not the place for a nap. Instead you forced your eyes open, with a gasp caught in your throat as your jaw dropped in shock at what you saw.

Standing in the hallway in front your exam room was the man you bumped into outside the cafe, holding another tray with two cups of coffee. All thoughts about his looks went away because no matter how blue those eyes were or how chiseled that jawline was he was clearly a crazy stalker.

“Dude, are you kidding me?” Your mouth hung open in shock as you continued to stare at him. “I asked if you wanted me to pay for the coffees and you said no so now you’re following me?!” What a psycho!

He stood there silently, gazing at you with a crazed look in his eyes.

“Why are you staring at me? You need to leave.”

The man did nothing but continue to stand there, his mouth hanging open in what you perceived as happy recognition. Who knows how many buildings he went to before finding the one you entered, and now that he was here what was he planning on doing to you?

Without thinking of the ramifications you shoved the lead vest off and grabbed the nearest dental tool on the tray. You wished it was the drill but instead it was one with a curved end. You’re not sure what it’s called but you know it’s sharp and you hoped it would do some damage to this lunatic if he tried to come closer.

The stranger’s mouth pulled into a wide smile as he dipped his head forward and let out a chuckle. His actions only made you more nervous so you gripped the tool even tighter and pointed it towards him in the most threatening way you could be with an instrument that scrapes tooth plaque.

“If you don’t leave right now I’m gonna call the cops!”  

You knew it was a stupid thing to say, since technically if you did call 911 it would take some time before any police arrived, and realistically you should have called for Dr. Barnes instead.

“I– ” he begins before he turns his head to the side seeing a figure walking towards him.

“James!” Dr. Barnes proclaimed from the hallway.

James? As in pimple-face braces James? As in George’s son James? Oh no.

A metallic clang rang out through the exam room as you dropped the dental tool back onto the tray and jumped back into the chair. Your heart was pounding furiously in your chest as you quickly pulled up the lead vest and replaced it across your body, trying not to look like you just threatened your dentist’s son with a pseudo weapon.

“Hi Dad,” James responded in that beautifully smooth voice you heard not long ago.

Dr. Barnes came into your line of sight and seeing the two together made you want to kick yourself for not realizing it earlier. Their eyes were identical as was the little dimple on their chins though James stood taller than his father, and where Dr. Barnes was lean James was obviously muscular. The integrity of that shirt was put to the test the moment he got dressed and you found yourself growing hot at the thought of the younger Barnes in a state where his body would not be covered with clothing.

Dr. Barnes folded his arms across his chest, frowning as he huffed, “You’re late.”

“Sorry, I was bringing you coffee and then…” James stopped to share a knowing look in your direction, your own eyes flared with panicked anticipation wondering what he was going to say.

“... I bumped into someone and knocked them right out of my hand, totally my fault. Had to wait back in line again.”

Dr. Barnes swiped his hand down his face as he let out an expected sigh, “My son, the klutz.” He turned his head towards you, seeing the small curve your lips were pulled into. “See Y/N, this is why he’s single,” he joked.

James turned a few shades pinker with embarrassment at his father’s comment, especially when he locked eyes with you, seeing your own crinkling with unspoken laughter.

“Well it was kind of you to bring coffee but I’d rather you show up on time,” Dr. Barnes remarked.

James followed his father into your exam room as Dr. Barnes officially introduced his son. “Y/N, this is my son, Dr. James Barnes.”

“Bucky,” he said, extending his hand towards you.

“N-nice to meet you,” you replied, unable to contain the nerves in your voice.

Once again Dr. Barnes shook his head at his son’s actions, mumbling under his breath about how “Bucky” is not a professional name. It was all in good fun however as you could see the love they had for each other.

Turning his attention towards you again Dr. Barnes asked if you would feel comfortable with James finishing the exam and cleaning. “That call was from Winnie. She locked her keys in the car. So much for sleeping in.”

Your veins carried fear throughout your body as panic rooted itself deep into your bones. It’s not that you didn’t trust James or whatever he wanted to be called, in doing his job and Dr. Barnes would never steer you wrong but the fact that you would be alone with the hottest guy you’ve ever seen as his fingers probed your mouth made you feel more than awkward.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” you lied through your ready to be examined teeth.

George smiled as he said goodbye, joking that he was going to call you later so you could let him know the truth about how James did during the exam.

The younger Barnes followed his father out of the room, telling you he would just need a minute to get ready, leaving you time to mentally prepare yourself.

You can do this Y/N. He’s just a hot guy. There are plenty of hot people out there. He’s just a normal guy with extraordinarily good looks. Don’t stare at him like he’s got a metal arm or something. Be cool.

Shrugging your shoulders you tried to physically shake off any lingering awkwardness, well as best as you could while still wearing the lead vest. With the morning you had you were glad you remembered to put on deodorant, especially now as you’re sweating in the chair, hoping the sweat stains under your arms that were definitely starting to form were not visible.

Footsteps echoed closer on the new wood flooring alerting you to sit up a bit more as you anticipated James’ arrival once more. He looked even better somehow, forgoing the suit jacket for a white lab coat.

“Time to get you out of that vest,” he said, scrunching his face up adorably as he corrected his words, “I mean, time to take the x-rays t-then you won’t need to wear the vest, heh.”

Responding with an awkward chuckle you felt slightly comforted by the fact that you weren’t the only one feeling nervous with the situation. You focused your eyes on the teal wall ahead, ignoring the way his deft fingers assembled the piece for the x-ray that would go in your mouth, holding a tense breath as he asked you to open your mouth and bite down.

Your mind was not helping you keep cool as it imagined his simple request in a more seductive scenario, hearing that smooth voice giving commands was not something you were turned off by.

You managed to make it through the rest of the x-rays with minimal squirming in your seat, as you combated visions of ripping his clothes off with thoughts of Shuri and her obsession with watching pimple popping videos. That girl may be a genius but there is definitely something wrong with her.

James’ fingers brushed against your arm as he finally took off the lead vest. “You’re hot,” he said causing your eyes to widen. “I mean from the vest,” he quickly mumbled.

Bucky was thankful his back was towards you as he hung the vest back up on the wall, rolling his eyes with embarrassment by his poor choice of words. It’s true, your body was feeling warm when his fingers gently skimmed across your skin but Bucky thought you were hot the moment you ran into each other outside the cafe.

He kicked himself for choosing to stand in line for coffee again instead of trying to talk with you before you left to give you his number. It took all the strength in the world not to drop the tray of coffee again when he saw you in the exam room. He’s truly never been happier to have been at work before.

Though Bucky had been practicing dentistry for quite a few years now being around you made him feel as nervous as he was during his first day of clinicals. He attempted to make small talk with you as he began the exam, an onerous task on your behalf as you could only communicate with a few sounds as your mouth hung open.

It was difficult not to look at James as he checked and cleaned your teeth. The bottom half of his handsome face was blocked by a mask but through his safety glasses you could still see those beautiful blue eyes, as clear as the ocean surrounding a tropical island.

Apparently you were lost in dreamy thought, unaware your tongue had strayed from where it was supposed to be during the cleaning.

“Stick your tongue out further,” he asked and you complied, focusing on the ceiling tiles above instead as he continued. “Okay, you can sit up and rinse now.”

Bringing the small cup to your lips you swished the water around your mouth and spit out a mess of saliva and blood.

“I never know what to do with my tongue,” you said, referencing your earlier action although hearing the words out of context you’re not sure if he knows what you mean. “D-during the exam!” you quickly added. “I know what to do with it.”

You heard a chuckle from behind, realizing your extra comment made things worse and you should probably never speak again.

Your mouth still felt unclean, though you couldn’t tell if it was leftover residue from the exam or the stupidity of your words. As you pressed the button to refill the cup you focused on the fact that in a few moments you would be getting your new toothbrush, paying the bill and leaving forever.

James spoke just as you began to pick up the cup, “Well, I’m happy to say your oral is good.”

The shock of his words caused your fingers to let go of the delicate cup, spilling water all over the floor.

“Health!” he shouted, catching his mistake. “Oral health!”

Bucky’s cheeks burned hotter than the sun and he didn’t need a mirror to know he was currently a deep crimson shade to match the level of embarrassment he felt. He wanted to disappear, magically teleport himself back to Indiana where he was not a bumbling idiot.

A gasp pulled his attention towards you as your hands simultaneously covered your gaping mouth while apologies spilled from your lips faster than the water.

“No, it’s okay, it’s my fault,” he apologized.

Bucky left the room, internally chastising himself for the ridiculous thing he said. He was thankful his father was not here to watch his descent into complete incompetence. There was something about you that made him act like a fool. He wondered if he could blame it on laughing gas, claim there was a leak in the nitrous oxide tank.

He opened the supply closet letting his shoulders slump as he exhaled a deep sigh. There was no way he could come back from this.

James returned with a large roll of paper towels in hand. Getting up from the chair you offered to help clean the spill but he insisted you didn’t have to. Instead you stood to the side, and despite how tempting it was to look at him bending over as he cleaned the floor you shut your eyes, pinched the bridge of your nose and wished you were still dreaming, hoping Shuri would wake you up from this nightmare.

His foot stepped on the pedal of the garbage as he dumped the saturated paper towels, pulling off his gloves to dump them as well. You still stood silently, inching your way out of the room, knowing you’ll have to find a new dentist because you could never face James or Dr. Barnes ever again.

Bucky rummaged through a drawer before turning towards you, “Do you want green or blue...or…. uhh, I’ve got orange,” he spoke of the toothbrushes.

“Doesn’t matter.” Get the toothbrush, pay the bill, leave forever.

James handed you a blue toothbrush and you wondered if it was a conscious choice, a reminder about his eyes even though this basic color falls short in comparison to the beauty of those sparkling sapphires.

Following him to the front you nodded quickly when he spoke about scheduling another appointment in six months. It didn’t matter, you would be cancelling it as the time neared. With the bill paid you gave him an awkward goodbye with a stupid wave that was immediately added to the long list of regrets for the day, and quickly ran out of the door.

A few hours later you were feeling better. You told Shuri everything the moment you got back to your apartment and even though reliving the disaster that was your morning made you feel embarrassed all over again, when she rolled off the bed from laughing so hard it allowed you to let go of everything and laugh along with her.

The buzzing of your phone on the table woke you from a nap you didn’t know you had taken. Seeing Dr. Barnes’ office number you remembered he said he would be calling you to check how things went.

“Hi, Dr. Barnes,” you said cheerily.

“Hi Y/N, this is Dr. Barnes. Not that Dr. Barnes though, it’s Bucky.”

“Oh, hi.” All of the nerves came rushing back as your heart raced with fear, wondering why he was calling you. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s just you left your jacket in the office.”

You completely forgot about your jacket until you were nearly home and a gust of wind caused goosebumps to erupt all over your bare arms reminding you about the poor jacket you abandoned in the office. It was too late, the jacket was a lost cause, an innocent victim as a result of your awkwardness, now homeless because you were not going back for it.

“Oh… yeah,” you responded, trying to sound casual.

“That’s not the only reason I called.”

Bucky cleared his throat, forcing himself to say the apologies he’s been repeating in his head all day but this time to the person who needed to hear it.

“I wanted to apologize for today. I’m normally not…” He ruminated on his words, trying to think of something professional before settling on the truth “… a mess.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his admission and the sound eased some of the tension he felt immediately. If Bucky was being honest you thought you should do the same.

“Me too. I’d like to think I’m a lot more chill than I was today.”

“So threatening people with a sickle probe isn’t a normal part of your dental experience?” he joked, pulling more laughter from you. “In all seriousness, I’d like to return your jacket and maybe I could buy you that cup of coffee?”

Bucky’s voice went higher with uncertainty as he silently hoped you would say yes to his offer. The momentary silence was deafening as he waited for your answer.

“I’m not sure it’s a good idea…”

Bucky’s heart sunk to the floor. He was wrong to think you felt the same about him. Clearly you wanted to keep things professional, something he was clearly incapable of.

“…I heard coffee stains your teeth.”

Relief washed over him quickly, helping to slow the rapid beat of his anxious heart. His lips stretched wide across his face as he said, “Maybe it’s another excuse to see you again.”

Heat rushed to your cheeks and you chewed on your bottom lip to help contain the smile that threatened to spread all the way to Brooklyn. You decided to meet at a coffee shop in the middle, leaving you just enough time to get changed and attempt to look presentable again.

“I’ll see you soon Bucky,” you said, getting up and eyeing your closet for something to wear. “And I promise I won’t knock it over.”

“I hope not because it was definitely your fault this morning!”

A/N: Thank you for reading! Reblogs, comments and likes are always appreciated :)

“Y/N?”

The voice behind you put you back on edge, but the fact that it wasn’t Steve’s at least meant you weren’t going to run away. You turned your head, still leaving it against the wall and looked at the intruder on your private moment. “What do you want, Romanoff?”

“Just checking on you,” she walked over with her hands held up in surrender, coming to stand next to you against the wall. She stared at the wall opposite as she spoke, “Any reason you’re more pissed than I’ve ever seen you and punching the walls of the compound corridor?”

You groaned, clutching your hand and closing your eyes, tilting your head to the ceiling as you breathed deeply.

“My husband,” you began, not even being able to bring yourself to say his name, “Has done something unspeakable. Unforgivable.” Nat quickly looked at you instead of the opposite wall, surprise written all over her face.

“Are you being serious right now? I can’t tell if you’re-”

“Do I look like I’m joking, Natasha?” you cut through her words and she pressed her lips together. You could tell she was trying to stop herself, but it didn’t last long.

“What’s he done?”

Another groan from you. Whether it was the pain of your hand or the pain of the question, Nat wasn’t sure.

“Don’t ask.”

“I kinda feel like I already have,” Nat murmured and you opened your eyes just to glare at her. You sighed. You hadn’t wanted this to go this way at all.

“Okay,” you conceded, “So you know how we were separated during the mission? All on different sides of the building, when comms were down-”

“You saw Steve and Bucky kiss?!” Nat interrupted and you balked. She had always thought they would go for each other, but that view was not at all helpful right at that moment. Or ever, really, seeing as you and Steve had been married for 6 years.

“No! Why is that always your go-to? Would you let me finish? I was just about to enter the building, gun cocked and foot poised to kick down the door when-”

“When what!”

“When I threw up, Nat. I threw up!”

Nat’s brow furrowed of its own accord. You stood and waited with an unamused expression on your face as you waited for her to catch on. It took a few seconds, but soon her face was opening up in understanding, her mouth forming an ‘o’ as she worked it out. “No…”

“Yes. He’s gotten me pregnant. Again!” you covered your mouth as your words sank in, “Oh my god!” you exclaimed, throwing your hands in the air and pushing yourself away from the wall.

“Okay, stay calm, it’ll-”

“Stay calm? Stay fucking calm? Nat, I’ve got four kids. That’s more than enough. I mean three of those four were mistakes, for fuck’s sake!”

Nat raised a brow at you.

“Mistakes that I treasure more than anything, of course,” you said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. To you it was, of course. Your kids were the best things in your life, even if you hadn’t been intending to have four. Five, you reminded yourself. You were going to have five kids. You basically already did. Your hand came up to rub your stomach absentmindedly.

“I think you’re happy about this,” Nat deduced suddenly and you looked at her, with a clearly false look of disgust on your face.

“That’s absurd…”

“No, it isn’t. You’re happy about having five kids and you’re terrified that Steve won’t be. That’s why you were so angry with him. He doesn’t even know yet, does he?”

You stared down at the floor.

“...he thinks I’m angry because he accidentally threw his shield vaguely near me during the fight.”

“Oh Y/N,” Nat sighed and you wondered when the two of you had started pacing up and down the corridor.

“I mean, it wasn’t even that near me, I just panicked when he started talking to me on the flight back so I used that as an excuse to be mad.”

“Oh, Y/N!”

“Would you stop acting like a disapproving aunt for two seconds!” you took Nat by the shoulders as you spoke loudly and the two of you stopped your pacing. A few seconds went by as you stared at each other.

“You’re pregnant,” Nat whispered, the hints of a smile just beginning to blossom on her face and you couldn’t help but give in, a grin overtaking your face as you pulled her in for a tight hug, wrapping your arms around her shoulders.

“I’m pregnant!” you whisper-shouted excitedly, feeling the tears building in your eyes as you stood swaying in other’s hug.

“Shut up! You’re pregnant?” came a sudden extra voice in the corridor and your eyes widened as you turned your head in the hug to see the excitable puppy of Clint Barton sticking his head around the wall, eyes alight with joy. You pushed out of the hug.

“Nat fill him in, would you? I need to find Steve!” you were already running down the corridor, planting a quick kiss on Clint’s cheek and calling out again, “And don’t tell anyone!”

---

You found him in your shared mission room, standing at his wardrobe, staring into space. He’d changed out of mission gear, instead in jeans and a button up but he was wringing his hands together, anything but relaxed. It was his typical worried pose. You frowned. You’d been so unfair; just because you’d panicked in the moment didn’t mean he deserved such harshness, such cold looks and words. The guilt weighed heavy on top of you and you felt the tears prick your eyes again. The hormones had arrived already, you noted.

Without much thought, you strode over to your husband and wrapped your arms around his middle from behind, squeezing tight, resting your cheek on the muscles of his back and squishing into him. You winced when he tensed in your grip but relaxed when he did, feeling him melt into your arms, his hands resting on your own.

“I’m so so sorry, honey,” you whispered, pressing a kiss to his back through the fabric of his shirt, “I was such a bitch.”

“You’re never a bitch,” Steve assured you firmly and you smiled at the protectiveness in his voice, “But you did have me worried.”

His admission made your heart sink.

“I know, and I have no excuse.”

“I’m really sorry for throwing my shield near-” Steve began but you squeezed him impossibly tighter as you interrupted.

“Oh god, please don’t apologise! Your shield was nowhere near me and you damn well know it!”

He chuckled and you felt the vibrations run right from the top of your head to the tips of your toes. You leaned upwards and pressed another kiss, this time to the nape of his neck. His arms wrapped more firmly around your own.

“Well, I was pretty sure it was nowhere near you,” he said between chuckles, but once his laughter died down his tone became more serious, “Is there something else wrong, sweetheart? Not like you to snap for no reason.”

You steadied yourself. This was it. No time like the present.

“Turn around for me baby, I want to see you,” you said softly and Steve was quick to turn, your arms falling from him. The concern in his eyes was palpable.

“That sounds serious,” he said, half-jokingly but all jokes fell away from his expression when you just gave him a watery smile. He took your hands in his, “Okay, you’re scaring me.”

“Don’t be scared,” you reassured him, rubbing circles into his knuckles with the pads of thumbs, either to ground him or yourself, you weren’t sure, “I mean maybe be a little scared. But not too much. Or maybe not at all, it just depends-”

“Y/N.”

You took a breath.

“I threw up, on the mission.”

A pause. A long, lengthy, heart-wrenching pause.

“But you never throw up.”

Steve’s voice was barely there and you could tell he’d worked it out. He was slightly quicker on the uptake that Nat was on things such as these. Emotional matters. Still, he seemed in disbelief.

“I never throw up,” you agreed, “Other than when I’m…”

You trailed off, unable to quite finish your sentence as you felt the tears yet again, knowing that crying was a surefire sign too. As a pretty enhanced human being, throwing up was not a regular occurrence for you but for some reason, when pregnant, you threw up whenever and wherever you were, especially in the first trimester. So you didn’t even need to take a test. You knew.

Steve’s face was a picture, one that you wanted committed to your memory for the rest of your life and beyond. Tears welled in his eyes, grin splitting his face in half. He moved his hand, still holding yours, so that both of your hands were resting against your stomach. Your tears began to fall. It was all so surreal.

“You’re pregnant, doll?”

You nodded happily, a little burst of a giggle set free and Steve joined in the sound, laughing as he swept you up into an embrace, lifting you off the ground and into his arms. Your hands flew to his neck to keep steady, still giggling, legs flailing about above the ground. He places you down carefully, like you’re fragile, could break any moment. Hands find their way to your hair, cup your face lightly, hold you so that your foreheads rest together.

He leans in and steals a kiss, followed by another before he’s quickly kissing your whole face, forehead, nose, cheeks, lips, kissing your tears away and kissing the corners of your grin.

“I take it you’re not mad, then,” you concluded and Steve pulled back, looking at you agape.

“Mad? Why the hell would I be mad?”

He genuinely sounded puzzled and you felt stupid. Of course he wasn’t mad. You really were hormonal.

“I don’t know,” you admitted sheepishly, “I convinced myself earlier that you’d be mad or upset or something which is why I panicked when you came to talk on the jet and made up that shit about the shield.”

The pity came off him in waves and he tugged you in close again, hands rubbing shoulders, upper arms, shoulders again.

“Our family’s growing. That’s never going to be a bad thing,” he says succinctly, sure of himself and you’re sure too then. You believe him, trust him. And though you never planned on four, you couldn’t imagine it any other way. This would be exactly the same.

“I love you so much, Steve,” you said it as if it were a secret known only to the two of you, a special thing to be kept away, kept safe. He held your words to his heart.

“I love you too,” he replied, lungs all out of breath, “More than I can ever tell you.”

You stand for a few moments, basking in each other’s company, his hand and yours somehow weaving down to your stomach once again, yours resting atop his, fingers linked.

“It’s a girl,” you say certainly.

“Not this again!”

“I can feel it this time!”

“You could feel it last time,” he said, and though he might have sounded exasperated, you could tell by the glimmer in his eye that he wasn’t, not at all.

“How should we tell the others?” you asked, suddenly remembering that you’d have to break the news to your other kids, who you were 60% sure would be incredibly happy for you. Currently, they were deep in the left wing of the compound, far from the incoming/outgoing missions, business meetings and bloodied new recruits. The far left wing belonged solely to the Stark family and the Rogers family and was known as a strictly family friendly area, no mission gear allowed, no swearing, no shop talk. Tony, Steve and you took turns to go on missions when you were needed, so that there was always a grown up in charge. This time, with you and Steve required for a slightly more difficult raid, Tony was left with the six of them and you thanked your lucky stars that Pepper had been available too.

Apart from the fact that it was almost definite that Tony was teaching your kids how to make lasers or something right now. They always knew something new when you got back. Sometimes something good, sometimes something slightly worrying.

“Well, we took them to Disneyland for James, did the whole “What’s in the Box’ nonsense for Margie...what did we do for Alice again?”

“I think we just told Claudia that I was pregnant normally,” you answered, moving over to your wardrobe and changing out of your gear in record time, stepping into a cotton sundress perfect for the unexpected good spring weather, “I mean she was like two at the time.”

“Wasn’t that the most successful though? The box one was a disaster, you remember?”

“I remember,” you said grimly, shuddering as you thought about it, brushing your hair in the mirror and wiping any remaining dirt and blood from your face,  “Maybe we should just tell them.”

“What, now?”

“Well, no time like the present! I know you only really tell people at 12 weeks but that doesn’t count for family right?”

“Of course not! We’ll just tell the family for now, oh, I’m so excited!”

You bit your lip.

“Ah, well, if we’re just telling the kids then-”

“Who knows?” Steve asked suddenly, shaking his head at you fondly and you were just glad he wasn’t annoyed that you’d already told some people.

“Nat,” you admitted and Steve nodded as if that made sense, “And Clint, but that’s cause the little shit was eavesdropping.”

“Well that was on you, if you talk to Nat you know Clint’s listening, it’s how those two work. But I said we were telling family - that’s the kids and the others. They’re family, right?”

You grinned.

“Let’s go tell them!” you squealed excitedly, looking as if you’d never been on a mission in your life, rushing over and pulling on his hand as you began to skip out of the room, but his hand tugged you back and into his arms. One hand firmly on your back and the other holding your face, he dipped you and you yelped, but then he kissed you like he never had before and you lost yourself in him. Your own hand reached up into his hair and found its place on the back of his neck, the other holding onto his arm for dear life.

He pulled away slowly, guiding you back upright and keeping his hold, noticing your shaky legs with a smug grin.

“Now let’s go,” he muttered softly and you stared up to him wide-eyed, still in slight shock. His hand wound around your own as he pulled you with him and when you came to your senses once more, you caught up to him and swung your hands between you as you walked rather quickly down the corridor and towards the kids’ section of the compound.

“Where’d you learn to do that?” you murmured as you walked, trying to look as nonchalant as possible to people passing you.

“Watched a YouTube video,” he admitted, a cute blush spreading up his neck that made you sidle up closer to him, “I dropped Sam like fifteen times when we practiced.”

You held back a snort.

“You’re lucky we’ve got bigger things to do right now, Rogers, cause otherwise I’d be teasing your ass so hard right now.”

“Come on there, принцесса,” Nat teased, pushing gently on your back.

You wobbled and splayed your hands out just in case you fall. “Hahaha, very funny, Nat,” you quipped, as you stood back up, wipping your shirt on your face.

“Oh come on y/n, we know you’d rather do anything else,” Wanda added, walking beside you.

“I don’t mind running, I ran in college and high school. What I mind is you trying to push me into the pond,” you responded, eyes flitting over the field around the Compound. Wanda and Nat laughed, as you all walked back to the gym doors. You rolled your head on around on your shoulders, trying to ease the tension in the shoulders. “Need to see the Madam.”

“Need a lot more than that,” Nat threw out.

“What’s that supposed to me?” You asked, pushing open the gym door.

“I think it’s a hint that you need to get laid,” Wanda answered from behind you.

You tried not to recall the moment two weeks ago that had led you to all the tension in your body, to your lack of sleep.

“I do not!” you let out harshly.

“How long has it been since you’ve had a good fuck?” Nat inquired, making her way through the gym to the exit.

“Jesus fucking christ!” you exclaimed, fed up with the teasing. Heads whipped to the three of you, including Sam and Bucky’s on the sparring mat. You didn’t notice, blundering on. “When the last time I fucked someone is none of your business, Nat!”

“Well, you are saying loud enough to make it everyone’s business,” Wanda muttered.

“What was that?!” you growled out, hands landing on your hips, head wipping to the brunette.

“I said, YOU ARE SAYING IT LOUD ENOUGH TO MAKE IT EVERYONE’S BUSINESS!” Wanda repeated at an almost shouting decibel.

You immediately stopped, eyes flitting around the room, finally noticing everyone was looking at you. “Oh, like none of y’all talk about sex, go back to work!” you ordered, waving your hand.

“Good job, y/n,” Nat mumbled.

“Oh, fuck off,” you said, moving forward toward the door.

“Now, now, y/n,” Sam called from the sparring mat.

You tilted your head at the former paratrooper, glaring at him and stepping forward. You were sick of everyone getting in your business today. “Don’t start with me Sammy,” you threatened, pointing at him.

Bucky chuckled next to him, arms crossed across his wide, bare chest, taking in the scene. “And you,” you began pointing at the former assassin, who then pointed to himself, steel eyes wide. “You need a shirt. This is a gym not a strip club. Cover up!”

“Alright, she’s finally lost it… so we’re just going to go…” Wanda said, grabbing your hand and tugging you out of the gym. The moment the door clicked behind the two of you, she started in on you, “What the hell was that about?!”

“It’s a communal gym!” you shouted. “That’s how people get sick!”

“You know the super soldiers don’t get sick,” she reminded you, tugging you further away from prying ears.

You rolled your eyes. “Doesn’t mean the rest of us don’t.”

“What has gotten into you?” she asked.

“Does he have to walk around shirtless all the time?” you commented from left field, looking back at the closed door. “I mean really, this isn’t a …..”

Wanda dragged you into the awaiting elevator and hit the button for your floor. “What the hell, y/n?”

“What?!”

“What do you mean what?” Wanda responded, hands going red in frustration. “Don’t make me go digging.”

You sighed, running a hand over your face. “Bucky and I….” She nodded, encouraging you continue, as you tried to find the right words to explain. “We… ummm…”

“Y/n…”

“Remember that pool party, where I just disappeared?” you asked her, eyes staring at the metal doors. You tried not to replay the images in your brain, tried not to recall the feelings associated with that memory.

“Yea, no one could find you until the morning,” she remembered.

“About that….” you paused again. “Bucky and I kinda snuck off to his room.”

Wanda’s lips made an O, as she began to put your lack of words together. “So you and him….”

“Yup.”

“And…”

“And it was a one time kind of deal,” you answered, walking off the elevator as it hit the right floor.

“Did he say that?” she inquired, still standing in the elevator.

“Come on, Bucky Barnes, can have any woman he wants, a million times over, no need to set my expectations too high,” you explained, putting your finger over your room access pad.

“Y/n…”

“Wanda don’t. It was a one and done kind of deal. Barnes isn’t like that.”

“What did you do to her?” Nat asked Bucky.

“I don’t know what you are talking about,” he replied, glaring at the red head.

“Y/n doesn’t loose her cool. She’s calm and happy. She’s a fucking beam of sun. What did you do?!” Nat accused.

“I didn’t do anything,” he argued.

She stepped closer to him, crowding him. “Don’t lie, Yasha.”

“I did nothing that she didn’t consent to,” he maintained, arms dropping down, shoulders slouching.

Knuckles hit his jaw and he stumbled backwards on the mat. “Fuck,” he mumbled, trying to find his footing.

“You are a fucking asshole, chasing anything with two legs. And now look at what you did?!” she accused. “You fucking broke her.”

“You think I wanted this?!” he insisted, stepping closer to the Black Widow. “You think, I wanted her running away from me?! I’m just chasing anything with two legs, right?! WRONG! I’ve been trying to prove to her she’s what I want. I’ve sent her flowers, I bought her coffee…. ”

He hung his head, defeated. “I don’t know what I did. Maybe it was a one and done deal.”

Eating dinner with everyone went amazing. You all got to catch up with Clint and Scott’s families, and Sharon was back in town for a while, so she came over and talked about her new job position with the CIA. It was an overall good family dinner.

During dinner, you were sitting between your boyfriend Steve and your adopted big brother Bucky when you knew it wouldn’t be a nice family dinner for much longer. That feeling got confirmed multiple times throughout eating as Steve and Bucky kept leaning over your head or whispering behind your back to each other about their “plan” and what needed to happen  for it to go perfectly. They never said what exactly was going to happen, and their list on what needed to happen were all vague. So, whenever their plan came to  fruition, you would find out with the rest of the team.

After dinner, you, Hope and Cassie went into the kitchen to fix up the dessert trays for the adults and Cassie was helping make the kids tray. It was when you sent Cassie and Hope back out to sit down and you were getting ready to walk back out into the dining room when Steve came slinking into the room and pulled you into his chest.

He places a kiss on the top of your head and murmurs softly into your hair, “sweetheart, remember that with everything that is about to happen, we sleep in the same bed. So, choose wisely.” You barely had time to process what he said before he was slinking back out into the dining room. “That was weird,” you whispered to yourself, “Oh well. I’ll find out soon enough what he’s talking about.” Shrugging your shoulders, you picked up the two trays and walked out into complete normality.

Nothing was different from when you left to ready the trays, conversations were still flowing, there wasn’t any surprise guests or animals. After you put the trays down and headed back to your seat, both Steve and Bucky winked at you and then continued with their debate with Sam.

Sitting quietly trying to figure out what exactly Steve could be talking about, you were pulled into a conversation with Clint and Tasha about baby names.

“Come on, Nat. Clintara would be an instant classic!” Clint squawked out with a mouthful of pie.

Natasha shook her head and narrowed her eyes at him, “I want my child to continue speaking to me once she learns her name, Clinton.”

“Clintique?” He chirped out then changed direction when you laughed and tossed the fork away from Tasha’s hand, “Ok, Ok, or hear me out: Clintasha.”

Everyone at the table got extremely quiet at Natasha’s deep sigh, and you noticed Steve and Bucky had moved closer together and had bigger plates filled to the brim with all kinds of desserts. You frowned at them but focused on Tasha because she started doing something she doesn’t often do.

“Aha...ahahahahaha... No.”

“What do you mean “no” Nat? You’re telling me if you had a little girl you wouldn’t name her Clintasha or something!? It’s not fair since Nathaniel was named in honor of you!” Clint cried out as he flailed his arms around.

Tasha smirked because his voice would get high-pitched in the middle of his argument. “Clint. No. I’m not naming any of my kids those names. If, and it’s a very big if here Clint – if I decided to honor our friendship like you did with me, I will name them Clint. Not something that is our named smashed together.”

Clint nodded his head and sported a gleeful smile when, suddenly, he was hit in the face with chocolate pudding.

In the 3 seconds after, it felt like time had frozen. You immediately knew the pudding came from the super soldier duo standing off to the side, and that their plates meant more was to come. In those same three seconds after the pudding made contact with Clint’s face was when you figured out what Steve meant earlier. You had to pick his side or he would get revenge on you when you went to bed. As Clint wiped off the pudding and stood up is when time unfroze.

“FOOD FIGHT!” Being yelled out by both Sam and Scott is when all hell broke loose.

Food had begun flying over your head and all around you while you sat in your safe little bubble. You weren’t going to get involved in your boyfriend’s prank war he and Sam had going on, unless it was absolutely necessary. And as of right now, it was not impertinent to join in on the ‘fun’.

You had taken your time to finish eating watching Clint nail Pietro (and occasionally Steve) repeatedly with everything he could get his hands on, Sam and Bucky would work together for one person then immediately go back to covering each other with desserts. The food fight went on for a good thirty minutes before Pepper walked in and shut it all down. Mumbling how everyone there is a child and that she didn’t sign up to be a parent of twenty adult children.

You thought you had gotten out clean. Scott-free of any pieces of dinner or any dessert foods, you were proud of yourself for not getting involved. But when you were taking what was left of the pies back into the kitchen, you ran into Bucky...literally.  And you had somehow managed to get the pie right in his face.

That was the first time you were scared to look into the super soldier’s eyes because you knew there was going to be a sliver of betrayal amidst the challenge look.

It was so sudden and shocking that even your boyfriend Steve had dropped his bottle of water when the pie connected with Bucky’s face. “Bucky, pal. Why don’t you come help me clean throw out the trash?” Steve called out carefully, trying to divert his best friends attention from you. You waited to see if Bucky would react to hearing Steve’s voice but he didn’t move an inch - he didn’t even blink.

You knew if Steve couldn’t get his attention, Bucky wasn’t going to go anywhere before he dealt with you. So, you did what you have always done best – you escalated things to the point of no return. The point of no mercy. Instead of pulling the pie away from his face and handing him the towel on your shoulder, you decided to smash the pie farther into his face, spinning it so all the pie was used as much as possible. Then, after you pulled the pie pan away from his face, you grabbed a cherry from a different pie and stuck it on his forehead.

Steve snorted but tried to cover it up with a cough as he kept nodding his head towards the door – but, you couldn’t make things easier on yourself now. You were already here, with an angry super soldier so, why stop now? Trying to be serious, you began using your stern voice, “Aw, Steve, look at him. He’s as sweet as pie.” You couldn’t help but laugh loudly and the look he was giving you only made you laugh more.

Bucky still hadn’t moved since the pie first touched his face and you knew you had to act fast before he got moving again.

Grabbing the last pie off the counter, you pull your phone out of your pocket and wait for the right moment. Bucky slightly shifts into a better ‘pose’ and that’s when you strike. Without a second thought, you smash it on top of his head and snap three pictures in quick succession – that's when you see Bucky take a deep breath and flex his fingers.

You glance behind him to see Steve with the bowl holding the rest of the pudding and suddenly, that too is on Bucky’s head and your boyfriend has darted past you – running down the hallway.

Once he got far enough, he stopped and turned to yell back at you “Run, baby, run! The pudding was his last strike!” Not having time to question Steve on why he helped you decorate his best friend in desserts, you took off after him, laughing like crazy once you heard the sounds of footsteps behind you.

As you got closer, he called out, “By the way, sweetheart. If we make it out of this alive, will you go on a date with me?”

You raised a brow at him, “You want to go on a date tonight, Grant?”

“Ah, I'm kind of busy at the moment, and it looks as this will take a while. How about tomorrow?” he breathed out.

You laughed loudly and sent him a smile right before he glanced down the hallway to the right.  You decided to play his little game and sped past him calling out, “On your left, Captain, and yes. If you make it out alive, I will go on a date with you.” He caught up with you in an instant and pushed your head down to dodge the vase that was being thrown at it and then grabbed your hand to help you move faster. “Fantastic,” he whispered, “now, we just have to lose Bucky somewhere..”

Once the case shattered and you realized your brother had thrown a vase at your head, and boy were you mad.

“Bucky! What the hell are you thinking throwing vases around the house!? Are you out of your mind!?” You stopped running  to turn around and yell at him.

Steve turned around and grabbed your hand pulling you along as you kept yelling back at a snarling Bucky with his revenge glint in his eyes. “Sweetheart,” Steve murmurs in your ear as he places his hand over your mouth, “You can scold Bucky later about throwing vases around. Right now, we need to get away from him before he starts a more aggressive food fight with whole watermelons being thrown around.” You sullenly nod your head, agreeing,  but keep hold of his hand as you start running on your own.

You and your boyfriend weaved your way through the Avengers scattered through the compound – letting them become collateral damage – to help distract Bucky enough so you could hide properly. Tony had happened to step in Bucky’s path and rather than mowing his crush over, Bucky almost came to a complete stop beside Tony before blurting out his confession and then he was back in pursuit.

When you glanced back over your shoulder, you saw Tony – with a frown on his face – storming after Bucky. Deciding it was going to be worth whatever revenge your adopted big brother brought upon you, you shouted over your shoulder, “Hey, Tony! Good luck on your date tonight!”

That is how you found yourself covered in the rest of the desserts, courtesy of the newly formed couple of Tony and Bucky. Not that it bothered your boyfriend any. He was enjoying licking the sweets off you. And to be honest, you were enjoying it too.    

As he was ´cleaning´ a spot off your neck, you murmured out, “Don't think I'm going to forget about the date you asked me on, Stevie. I'm going to hold you to it.” Steve let out a low chuckle and placed his lips right above yours, “Good. I was planning on you holding me to it, sweetheart. You'll be blown away with what I have in mind. Now, let’s go take a shower and get all this food off you before I eat you.”

The blinding sunlight had startled you awake, warning you that something was wrong. You were usually up and about before dawn like clockwork, to the point that you could not remember when you last slept in. You quickly sat up to see what the time was, but you sat up too quickly and waves of nausea hit you like a freight train. Your head began pounding as you tried to put together the hazy pieces of the night before.

You and Steve were in Vegas on an undercover mission. After months of chasing tips and leads that ran dry, you were meeting with Jasper Sitwell, hoping to gain more intel on the location of the Winter Solider. You could remember that the evening had started well, but then after the second drink it became fuzzy and you could not recall how you got back to your hotel room. Except...

You were in Steve's room, not yours. Panicking, you jumped out of the bed and started looking for your things. Thankfully you were still in the figure-hugging black dress you had worn the night before. Make no mistake, for years you had dreamt of waking up in Steve's bed, but not like this. Anything but like this. You thanked your lucky stars that Steve was not currently there to see you in this state. Before you could wonder where Steve was, the bathroom door opened throwing you back into reality.

Despite just having a shower, Steve looked as rough as you felt. Dressed in a pair of sweats an old t-shirt he looked like he had gone ten rounds with The Hulk. His piercing blue gaze met yours  and you noted how full of hurt and regret they were, your heart sank. He sat at the foot of the bed and motioned for you to sit next to him.

“So” he started nervously, “how much do you remember of last night?”

“Honestly, hardly anything” you replied. “I remember the beginning of the meeting with Sitwell, but then he pushed that second drink on us and then it's all just a blur.”

“Just as I suspected, it hit you a lot harder than it did me-”

“What did?” You butted in, Steve was starting to scare you.

“Someone must've tipped us off” he began. “Those second drinks were drugged. I don't know what the substance was, but it affected me pretty quickly and if I was effected-”

“Then I had no chance” you finished. “Do you remember what happened afterwards?”

Steve gave a sigh that confirmed your suspicions, the mission had been derailed. “Sitwell took advantage of our condition to get away, but that was not the worst thing that happened” he started.

“I don't see how it could get any worse.”

“Hey look,” he started nervously, trying to find the right words “we got married last night.”

“I stand corrected” you contemplated. “Wait- WHAT did you just say?!”

“Well  guess I can call you Y/N Rogers now” Steve said attempting to lighten the mood.

“Don't you give me that shit Rogers!” you expressed your anxiousness giving way to anger. “It's not funny when Stark pulls this and it certainly isn't funny now. Tell me how this happened!”

“Well...um...” Steve started. His eyes were avoiding yours.

“Tell me now Rogers, I do not have all day!”

Steve took a deep breath. “You see we were trying to look for Sitwell, when we bumped into a group of girls who said that we made a cute couple.”

“Why did they think we were a coup-”

“-I don't know, but after they said that we were talking about what a great team we were and you said that seeing as we worked well together and we weren't getting any younger-”

“- We might as well be married” you finished in horror, the memories flooding back. Not only had the drugs cost you your biggest lead on Bucky in months, but they had caused you to betray your deepest desires. Feelings that you had expertly kept locked away, except in those rare, quiet moments when you were alone. Steve read the expression on your face, and reached out to grab your hand.

“Don't blame yourself Y/N” his thumb drawing circles on your palm. “It was the drugs and I should have stopped myself from getting carried away.”

You sighed and found the courage to look into his eyes, confirming your fears. He didn't want to be married to you. Not now. Not ever. Of course you didn't want to be with him like this. You had loved him since the day you were recruited to the S.H.E.I.L.D/Avengers joint taskforce dedicated to  finding the Winter Solider. As the pair of you had worked together and became friends your feelings had deepened. You knew that you could never tell him how you felt, but there was that small part of you that lived in hope that he felt the same way. But now looking at his eyes full of remorse that hope was gone.

“So what do we do now?” You asked, breaking the awkward silence that had descended.

“I've already given Fury the heads up and the legal team are working on getting this annulled as we speak.”

“Oh” you uttered, not really knowing what to think. “I should probably head back to my room and have a shower.”

“Y/N-”

You got up and left before Steve had the chance to say anything, hoping he didn't see the tears streaming down your face. You did your best to keep some control of your emotions until you were in the shower, where you broke down and sobbed. Heartbroken and humiliated, you beat yourself up for being so stupid. How could you have not realised that the drinks were drugged? How could you have completely let go of your inhibitions? How on earth were you ever going to live this down?

-

As you suspected, what happens in Vegas does not stay in Vegas. It did not take long for what happened that night to get out when you both returned to the tower. The pair of you had royally fucked up and the higher ups had demanded answers. Between the many debriefs, tests to find out what the mystery substance was and of course, the annulment; inevitably everyone knew exactly what had happened.

You were able to take the teasing from Stark, Romanoff, and the rest of the taskforce as you were able to shut them up with a witty comeback. But you couldn't stand the constant staring and whispering that followed you around. It was just what you needed on top what you were already feeling. You had started to avoid Steve wherever possible, but soon you were both back to working together and it was beyond strained. Every time you looked at him, all you could think about as that night and the look on his face the next morning. It was too much.

Eventually you couldn't take it any more and asked to be reassigned. While you were waiting for details of your new assignment back at S.H.E.I.L.D Headquarters, you had started ignoring Steve completely; figuring it was time to move on and avoiding any ungainly goodbyes. However, Steve had other plans.

-

A week later you were given the details of your next posting, and you started to prepare to make the move back to Washington, D.C. While sorting through your belongings you couldn't help but smile at the life and memories you had made at the tower. You paused temporarily to look through some Polaroids taken at a party about a couple of months before that fateful night in Vegas. The Avengers had taken down a Hydra stronghold in Sokovia. There had been no strong leads on Bucky's location, but the mission had been declared a success and Tony just had to throw a party to celebrate. Steve, looked impossibly handsome wearing a navy blue shirt and jeans; and you wore your favourite skirt and top combo that made you feel sexy and confident, That night Thor had managed to get most people drunk on his Asguardian mead, but you had turned it down and until recently it was believed that Steve was immune to all substances. So while everyone was trying to drunkenly lift Thor's hammer, you and Steve retreated to a quiet corner, where you put the world to rights.

You didn't realise that you'd started crying until a teardrop hit the photo you were holding. You and Steve had your arms around each other's waists, drinks raised in your free hands, laughing at something you couldn't quite remember. Before that awful night you used to look at photo and trick yourself into believing that Steve was looking at you like he loved you as much as you loved him. But now because of that awful night, you knew the cold, harsh truth and it reaffirmed your decision to leave.

A sharp knock at the door brought you out of your thoughts. Wiping the way the tears you went to answer it, and was shocked to Steve on the other side of the door. You noted that he seemed to be as nervous as you suddenly were. You took a deep breath to steady yourself.

“Whatever it is Steve, make it quick. I'm moving to D.C. In a few days and I need to be packed up as soon as possible.” Your words came out harsher than intended and Steve recoiled as if you had slapped him in the face.

“Y/N, we really need to talk about what happened in Vegas.”

“What is there to talk about Steve?” You snapped back. “We threw years worth of work down the drain, I made a complete fool of myself and you were so horrified by the idea by the idea of being married to me that you practically got the annulment before I had the chance to wake up!”

“Y/N -”

“But don't worry, in a few days I'll be gone, so you can find Bucky with no problems and you can forget that we were ever married!”

“Is this what this is about? You wanted to stay married?”

“No of course not Steve, but you should have given us a chance to talk thing through before acting and it doesn't make a girl feel good when she hears that their friend thinks that being married to you is worse than failing a mission.”

“Oh,”He muttered, the realisation of what he had said that morning dawning on him. “Y/N please don't leave because of a stupid comment, I was still processing what had happened and I wasn't' thinking straight.”

“No it's because of that comment I have to leave” You stammered tears threatening to fall again. “For years I have been living in the land of make-believe, but now I need to head back to reality.”

“Y/N I'm so sorry” Steve uttered moving towards you, attempting to pull you into his arms.

“No!” you almost shouted, stepping away from him, blocking his attempt at an embrace with your arms. Tears were cascading down your face now, but you didn't care. “Do you know how humiliating it is that everybody knows that I'm the last person you could ever want?! You might be able to live with the constant gossiping, but I can't. I need to leave. I need to move forward, I need to-”

Before you could finish, Steve had stepped forward, cupped your cheeks with his hands and brought his lips to yours. Initially you froze, but then you quickly relaxed into the kiss. When Steve sensed that you weren't going to push him away, he deepened the kiss. He kissed you with a sense of urgency as if he was trying to convey something words could not explain.

Eventually, both of you needed air and the kiss ended, Steve resting his forehead on yours. You looked into Steve's perfect blue eyes and saw that there were tears threatening to spill.

“I know I'm an idiot, but please don't leave, you're vital to the team, I can't do this without you, I love you.”

Stunned by Steve's confession, you pulled away. Your mind was reeling, and your heart was close to bursting out of your chest. He had felt the same way all along.

“I'm sorry I started the annulment before you knew what was going on. But I was scared and I thought that the longer it went on for the less chance we would have at being together. I was so nervous about how you were gonna react that I couldn't get my words out straight. I promise I wasn't rejecting you.”

He looked at you expectantly, waiting for you to say something; but you were still processing what he had just said. You had spent all that time wishing and praying, not noticing that he felt the same way.

“Say something Y/N, you're beginning to scare me.”

Instead of saying anything you grabbed his shirt by the collar, and pulled him towards you, brushing your lips against his. He put his arms around your waist and pulled you into him. You responded by putting your arms around his neck. Ultimately, the kiss came to its natural end, and you knew it was your turn to confess.

“I have always loved you Steve, but I guess that I thought that if I told you, it would ruin our dynamic and the mission.”

“So you'll stay.”

“I'll talk to Fury first thing, but I have one condition.”

“Name it.”

“Called me old fashioned, but I believe that you should date someone for a bit before heading down the aisle.”

Steve's eyes lit up as he chuckled.

“Y/N, will you make me the happiest man alive and go on a date with me?”

He cleared his throat softly. Your brow furrowed and one of your eyes crept open. Your eye roamed around searching for the source of the noise and finally fell on Bucky’s form at the foot of your bed. You smiled sweetly as you lifted your arms in a long, lazy stretch. Bucky’s knees almost gave out at the sight. Your knees shifted and the sheet was pulled down to your hips. Your shirt hitched up slightly exposing your soft skin and the edge of your bandage. You let out a squeak and the a groan as the tender young flesh at your wound protested the movement.

“Easy, Doll, you’ll pull your stitches,” Bucky cautioned, his voice was hoarse with the effort of keeping it steady. You glanced at him and shrugged.

“They're practically healed, I don’t know why Bruce is keeping me here. Here, look.” You lifted the edge of your shirt and peeled back the soft white gauze covering your wounds. Bucky took a steadying breath and moved around to the side of your bed to inspect your skin. Sure enough, there was no blood and no scars. Just baby fresh pink skin criss crossed with stitches waiting to be removed. Bucky’s hand twitched at the thought of reaching out and lightly grazing your stomach and he quickly clenched his fist. The movement didn’t go unnoticed by you but you were kind enough to ignore it.

“See! All better,” you quipped cheerfully as you replaced your bandages and lowered your shirt. “So, you wake me up for a reason Solider? If not, I'm gonna have to kick your ass.” Bucky was slow to answer, his eyes were locked on the spot where your skin had just been. He was promising himself that one day he’d get to brush his fingers over every inch of you.

“Bucky.”

“Yeah?” His eyes snapped back yours and his face was flushed with the embarrassment of being caught staring. He was so concerned with his own reaction he didn’t noticed the extra pink playing across your cheeks.

“Why are you here?” Bucky’s feet shifted as he came back to reality.

“Right. I’m here… because…” he shook his head slightly to clear his thoughts. “We found him! The target, we found him.”

“Dr. Wickman? Good! I have some feelings I’d like to express to him. Like how much I don’t like getting shot.” You slowly started sitting up, testing your body, searching for soreness.

“No! You’re not coming Y/N. I just wanted you to know what was going on. You need to stay here and rest.” Bucky gently pushed your shoulder back toward the bed. You grabbed his wrist to stop him. You couldn’t fail to notice how warm his skin was under your own.

“If you didn’t want me to come you shouldn’t have told me about the mission.” Your smile was coy. You’d fight for this one, and you were pretty sure you’d win. Bucky moved his hand from your shoulder and firmly crossed his arms across his broad chest. He planted his feet and scowled at you, assuming his best deadly-assassin-super-solider stance. You glanced him up and down taking note of the way his shoulders got broader and his chest stuck out and immediately burst out laughing. Bucky deflated like a balloon. “Oh, you’re so cute but I’m definitely still coming.”

His face flushed again. “Come on, Doll. I’m just tryin’ to keep you safe,” he muttered, eyes on the floor.

“I can take care of myself,” you answered, eyebrows arching dangerously.

“You got shot. Twice,” Bucky shot back, locking eyes with you.

“Yeah but did I die?” you asked. Bucky was silent for a beat.

“I’m losing this argument, aren’t I?”

“Yes, you are. But if it helps, you never stood a chance.” You swung your legs over the bed and tentatively put your feet on the floor. Bucky reached out his hand again, this time to support your elbow and you smiled at the sweet gesture. Slowly you stood, making sure your legs could take your weight. You twisted and turned and even bent over searching for pain but there was none.

“Okay, I'm good to go! How do I look?”

Bucky gave you a once over, taking in your harried appearance. Barefoot, in your pajamas, bags under your eyes, and hair going every which way. Perfect, he thought. “Like hell,” he stated.

“Great! Let’s go! Bruce, I'm outta here!” The Doc peered from around the corner looking over the brim of his glasses.

“You sure about that, Y/N? What about your stitches?”

“I’ll take them out on the jet. I’ve got a mission.”

“This isn’t so much you asking me as it is you telling me, yeah?” Bruce sighed resignedly.

“Yup! See Bucky, the Doc gets it.” And with that you strode out of the room, head held high, Bucky following meekly in your wake.

Steve’s voice crackled through the coms, “If you two are done wasting time, we need to find that key.”

“All business.” You chuckled.

Bucky pursed his lips, attempting to wipe the smirk from his face. “Always business.”

“Get that key.” Cap ordered, trying his hardest to sound stern.

“Firecracker,” Bucky began, using your unfortunate alias, “Are you taking the left or the the right?”

You rolled your eyes. “Whichever. Right is fine.”

“Whoever gets the key wins.”

“Loser buys first round.”

“Always.” He grinned.

“Get ready to pay up.” You called over your shoulder, heading down the hallway.

Your steps were quick but even, steady after a lifetime of training. You may not have had any superhuman ability, but you were sure as hell going to win this bet.

Six Months Ago

The pub was busy, even for a Friday night. No one had batted an eye at the super soldiers and their teammates when you had walked in. You were all regulars, especially after a particularly successful mission, and all the other regular customers had gotten used to the team’s loud and chaotic presence.

“First round is on me.” You shouted over the noise, ordering drinks for everyone.

“And why would that be?” Bucky smirked, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Because,” You muttered "You were the better shot.”

“What? I didn’t quite catch that doll.”

You shook your head, “I’m not repeating it.” You handed him his beer, “just take your free booze.”

He laughed, a sound that always caught your attention. You dropped your gaze and found something else to turn your attention too. Since meeting the soldier you had found yourself getting more and more attached to him. Every mission had you appreciating his kind and soft soul even more, and every time you had each other’s backs only made you appreciate your friendship even more. The only problem was that lately you were beginning to realize that maybe you wanted more with him.

It didn’t make sense to want more though. Any mission could be your last and you didn’t need to add any distractions for either of you. The field was a dangerous enough place as it was. And anyways, that was all based on the assumption that he might even feel the same way.

You tried your best to bury the feelings deep down in a place no-one could find them - not even yourself. Things were good now, even if you had just lost a bet.

“You know, I think that makes the score…” Bucky pretended to think about it for a moment, “four to two?”

“No” you grumbled. “That makes it five to two.”

“True. I’m so glad you corrected me.”

You shoved him playfully. “You’re such a sore winner.”

“All you have to do is catch up doll.” He grinned.

“I’d do that in a heartbeat if I wasn’t at such a disadvantage.” You pointed out.

“Am I really that distracting that you can’t focus when I’m around?”

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“I’m not sure that I do.”

You burst out laughing, “What’s with you today?”

“What? I’m always in a good mood.”

“Sure” you snorted.

He raised a brow. “You don’t believe me?”

“I have evidence against it.”

“Oh yeah?” he took a step closer, “Like what?”

“Um, I don’t know, I seem to remember you letting out a string of curse words about five hours ago.”

He smirked, “Okay then. Correction, I’m always in a good mood when you’re around.”

You swallowed. “Somehow I doubt that.”

“I can prove it if you’d like.” He whispered.

Your gaze immediately dropped to his lips, and when you found his seastorm eyes looking into yours with something you couldn’t name, your heart began to race.

“I’m so glad you two keep doing these bets.” Sam said, clapping the two of you on the shoulder. “Saves me a bunch on beer.”

He reached between the two of you, handed the bartender a bill and grabbed his beer. You took an unnecessarily large step back, remembering your earlier declaration. Clearly you still hadn’t pushed your feelings far enough down. Although…maybe these feelings weren’t as one sided as you had first thought.

You shot Bucky a tight lipped smile and made your way over to where Nat and Steve were. The right move was to walk away, regardless of the feelings involved. It would be better for everyone in the long run.

Just as you approached, a young college student, probably here with a fake ID, walked up.

“Hi, uh, Captain America. I was uh, wondering if I could get a picture? My girlfriend would kill me if I didn’t.”

Cap smiled. “Sure kid.”

When the student was satisfied and gone, you sighed. “I’m a little jealous.”

“Of that?” Steve asked incredulously.

You shook your head. “No, not that. The fact that you guys all have aliases. I mean at least Maria gets to keep her name, all I’ve got is a number.”

Nat laughed, “And Six Three Two outs you perfectly.”

“You have to earn an alias.” Cap teased.

“Sure, and how do I earn a super secret serum?”

“I’d refer you to the doctor, if he was still around.”

“Steve,” Bucky clapped an arm around his friend’s shoulder. “Age has given you a morbid sense of humour.”

You tried not to look at Bucky for too long, no matter how captivating that grin was.

“You should know old man.” Steve grinned.

“I am only a year older than you dork.”

“And it shows.”

Nat shook her head, a grin on her lips, “You’re both really old. We get it.”

“Can you believe, Winter Soldier, that 632 was complaining about not having an alias? Said being a number was boring.” Steve shot you a teasing look.

“The audacity. I can’t believe it. Black Widow what do you think?”

“Ridiculous,” she winked. “I think we should tell Falcon.”

“You guys are all idiots.” You laughed, stopping Steve before he could call Sam over.

“Trust me,” Bucky grabbed all of your attention with those two little words, “When you do something really stupid, that’s when we’ll give you your alias.”

You shook your head. You couldn’t imagine they’d have to wait long to see you do something ridiculous.

You had no idea what this key looked like or how you’d find it. It was supposed to look like a USB key but for all you knew, it could be some old timey key that unlocked a door with actual files inside. The hallway was weirdly empty, its walls cold and clinical, and void of any adjacent rooms. Maybe if you had picked the right you would have had a better chance at winning the bet. At least Steve hadn’t called you back yet, telling you that Bucky had already found it. You still had some time to win.

The sound of fighting around the corner had you raising your gun, ready for anything that came at you. Creeping along the wall, you paused at the edge and peered around the corner. A body stumbled back and silver glinted in the dim light. You shook your head. As much as you loved the look of his arm, you couldn’t remember how many times you had told him to cover up the metal so that it wouldn’t give him away. The only benefit of having it exposed that was it made it that much easier to spot him.

It seemed Bucky had beat you to the checkpoint but, watching the fight go on, it didn’t bother you too much. It wasn’t like you could help, despite the fact that the enemy had no idea you were there. They were moving too quickly, Bucky’s movements far to quick and efficient for you to get a clear shot.

He blocked a punch before kicking the guard in the chest, sending him staggering back another couple of steps. The man took the distance to pull out a knife and you sighed. He was lucky you all had orders to keep the Hydra agents alive for questioning because he may as well have given Bucky another weapon to kill him with.

You had seen Bucky fight with knives as if they were an extension of his arm and today was no exception. Within seconds he had disarmed the man, flipped the knife into his other hand before driving it into the mans thigh. But before Bucky could knock the enemy agent out, he took a step and the floor slid beneath him.

As he fell to the floor, the man’s eyes grew wide and triumphant. Instinctively, you fired a bullet into his shoulder now that you had a clear shot. You didn’t know what had just happened but it didn’t matter as long as Bucky was still alive. You would have disobeyed orders without a second thought if it meant keeping him safe.

Down on the ground the guard began foaming at the mouth and you swore. This was supposed to be an easy mission. What the hell was going on?

You looked down at Bucky, still sprawled on the floor, pure shock written all over his face. “You’re welcome. What happened to you?” Your heart still raced but seeing him unscathed calmed it, if only slightly.

Looking around, you realized something that made a grin spread across your lips. “Wait a second. Did you…slip?”

The longer you thought about it, the funnier it became, until you were laughing out loud, unable to stop, tears practically leaking out the corners of your eyes.

He pushed up quickly and dusted himself off. “You saw nothing. Are we clear?”

“Like hell I didn’t Sergeant.” You could barely get the words out between fits of laughter. “I think this may be the greatest thing to have happened this month.”

His deadpan expression did nothing to hide the amusement you knew lurked beneath the surface, “Are you sure about that Firecracker?”

You narrowed your eyes and shook your head, still bubbling with laughter. “What did you even slip on?”

His confused look was enough to know that it must have come out of nowhere.

Looking around, you found a small black rectangle on the floor a couple feet away and bent over to pick it up, the metal warm on your fingers.

You smiled. “I think we found the man with the key. Maybe he should have put it in a safer pocket.” A very important thought dawned on you. “Wait! This makes us even now.”

He wrapped his hand around yours, holding the key, “Technically I found it doll.”

“Technically you slipped, then I saved your ass and then I found the key.”

“You wouldn’t have found it if I hadn’t slipped.” He pointed out.

“That’s true. I wouldn’t have found it because I wouldn’t have slipped.” You tried to pull away but he held on. “And anyways, I didn’t see anything remember? So if there was nothing to see here, it means that I found the key just lying there right?”

He tugged on your hand, and you stepped closer to him. “And what if we call it a tie?”

You snatched your hand back, heart racing for a completely different reason now, and slipped the key into a secure pocket as you walked off.

You swore it had been the longest New York winter to date. There had been snow on the ground consistently for the last three months. There had also been a lack of missions lately, as if the criminals had taken a holiday or decided to hibernate through the painfully long winter. All you knew at this point was that is you had to see the same walls inside the Tower for another minute that you were going to go insane. It didn’t help that team bonding night was tonight and currently you were stuck listening to Sam, Steve, and Tony argue over what movie to watch. Well, mainly Sam and Tony arguing, Steve was trying to to keep the two from starting a civil war over their choices. Even Steve’s diplomatic ways were grating on your nerves. You quietly got up from the couch and walked over to the guys yanking both DVD cases out of their hands and chucking them across the room. Tony was about to make some smart remark until he got a look at your face to which he promptly decided he liked his anatomy just the way it was.

“That’s it, we are going out tonight, or so help me, I will grab both of those DVDs and shove them up some unsavory places on the both of you.” You stated as calmly as possible which, if you were being honest with yourself, seemed to scare them more.

“Thank God!” Natasha remarked from her perched spot on the chair.

“Out?” Wanda spoke up.

“Out.” You confirmed.

“Oh, we should go check out that new club that just opened up!” Natasha suggested.

“Now that’s something I can agree with!” Sam spoke up smiling. Tony nodded his head in agreement. Steve didn’t look entirely convinced, but he didn’t shoot the idea down either.

“I’ve never been to a club before.” Wanda spoke up, a bit of excitement and curiosity laced in her voice.

“Then it’s settled. We are going to the club tonight. 10 o’clock.” You looked toward Natasha and nodded your head toward your room and head towards it. Natasha grabbed Wanda and followed you.

Once in your room, you headed towards your closet to see if you could find something to wear for tonight. Wanda sat on your bed while Natasha raided your closet with you occasionally throwing articles of clothing she thought had potential onto your bed. You were more picky on the clothes that had potential. You were hoping to get the attention of a certain sergeant. The man made you nervous. Bucky had this certain way of looking at you like he could really see you. That you weren’t what everybody else saw, a badass Avenger that handled everything that was thrown their way with grace and determination without an ounce of doubt or weakness. That if you were being honest with yourself, you had a lot of doubts, you weren’t as brave as you seemed more often than not, Like he could see every part of you that made you who you are, which scared the living shit out of you. It took you a long time to open up and trust someone with that amount of vulnerability. To trust someone with your soul. Yes, Bucky Barnes made you nervous.

Natasha stepped away from the closet and looked at the items she threw onto your bed to see what she was working with. It wasn’t until you reached the back of your closet that you found what you knew you would wear. A black off the shoulder bodycon dress that laces up the back. You grabbed your black knee high stiletto boots and walked out of your closet to show your friend your outfit. Wanda’s eyes widened since it was a bit more revealing that what you typically chose to wear. Natasha just had a smirk on her face. Natasha picked the rose gold backless V-neck mini dress for herself that she had originally thrown on the pile of outfits to be considered for you. You looked through the pile for something for Wanda and found a maroon V-neck silk-like bodycon dress that had a side slit. You handed it to her and told her to feel free to look over your shoe collection.

Two hours later, the three of you were dressed, had your hair and makeup done, and were heading down to the lobby of the tower where the guys were waiting for you. Your eyes immediately flitted to Bucky. He was talking to Steve, his metal hand was in his pocket, while the other was combing through his hair. A nervous tick of his that you had noticed. Your eyes couldn’t help but rake over his body. The crisp white shirt underneath his deep blue satin jacket did nothing to hide his strong physique. You could still tell there was rippling muscle underneath the layers of clothing. When your eyes ran over his black denim covered thighs you had to hold back a moan. Bucky Barnes was sent to personally torture you, and if it wasn’t the sweetest, most aggravating torture of your life. Maybe one day the pent up frustration would spark the courage you needed to put yourself out there. You doubted it, but hey, a girl can dream right?

“Buck, I’m telling you she’s into you, just go for it already.” Steve whispered to Bucky as the girls made their way from across the lobby. Bucky couldn’t help but stare at you as you said something funny to Natasha which caused the both of you to laugh. He could hear your laugh from here and it made his heart skip. His eyes scanned your body appreciatively before he realized that every single guy in the club would be doing the exact same thing. Even worse? They would have the nerve to talk to you, ask you to dance, and worst of all, ask you to come home with them. His stomach immediately soured at the thought. Bucky wanted nothing more than to be that guy, but every time he tried his throat would try up, his stomach would twist in knots, and his mind would completely blank on him aborting the mission before it even began. He wasn’t the same guy that he was back in the forties. He could flirt with dames all day, but not with you. He was a guy out of time, and you were out of his league. You made him nervous.

You looked away from Natasha when you caught up with the rest of the group in the main lobby just to catch a glimpse of Bucky looking away from you. As much as Natasha assured you that Bucky was into you, you couldn’t help but be disappointed by the lack of a reaction from him. Natasha noticed the look in your eyes and knew where your thoughts were. You were your own worst critic and your nerves often got the best of you if others lives weren’t at stake.

“Alright boys, you all ready?” You spoke to the guys, but avoided a certain super soldiers eyes.

“Hell yeah, let’s get this party started!” Sam said excitedly. It looks like you may not have been the only one eager to get out tonight. Before you could loop your arm with Natasha’s, she had moved towards Steve talking to him and walking ahead of the group. Wanda and Vision,  Tony and Pepper followed them, and Bruce and Thor were talking about science and magic, along with Sam and Clint talking about weaponry. The left you and Bucky to follow up last.

As soon as you walked out of the tower you almost slipped on a patch of black ice outside the tower. Instead of feeling the cold, hard ground under your butt, you felt a solid, warm chest against your back, and two strong arms catching you.

“You okay, Doll?” Bucky whispered against the shell of your ear.

A breathy, “yeah,” escaped your lips as Bucky helped you regain your footing. You managed to stutter out a tank you to Bucky while keeping your head a bit tilted towards the sidewalk, but you managed to sneak a look up through your eyelashes to see a small smile grace his face. You couldn’t tell if he was blushing or if his face was just red from the bitter cold New York air. You involuntarily shivered before you wrapped your arms around yourself and began walking towards the club having already fallen behind the others by about a block. You felt something being draped over your shoulders.

“At least ‘til we get to the club?” Bucky said staving off the protest that was on your lips. You knew that Bucky hated the cold, but you couldn’t ignore the plea in his eyes and conceded to his request with a grateful smile and a nod of your head, your cheeks feeling even hotter than before. You and Bucky walked quickly, but carefully, and caught up with the others just before entering the club. You handed Bucky his jacket back, thanking him before Wanda excitedly pulled you towards the bar for drinks, while Tony got a table in a private section where everyone could sit down and drink, but have a good view of the dance floor. You down a couple of shots of tequila at the bar before helping Wanda carry both trays of drinks to the table. It wasn’t long until both trays of shots were empty. You could feel the buzz of alcohol singing through your blood, and you couldn’t help but feel a bit more relaxed because of it. You could feel the thump of the thump of blaring bass through the floor and when the song changed Wanda was grabbing yours and Nat’s hands and heading to the dance floor. The three of you danced, and it wasn’t long until a couple of the guys joined you three. You saw Vision try to mimic everyone else, but his movements were definitely a little awkward. Wanda simply just grabbed his hands that rested on her hips and wrapped his arms around her waist. She leaned against his chest looking completely content as they swayed side-to-side, disregarding the beat of the music. You saw Clint make his way behind Nat resting his hands on her hips before turning her around to face him as they started dancing. It was long before you heard the deep Southern voice of Sam in your ear.

“I know I’m not a certain blue-eyed super soldier, but do you mind if I have this dance.” He asked, his voice barely audible over the loud music even though he was speaking into your ear from behind you. You turned around and nodded. You two began dancing and it wasn’t long before Sam had you laughing from spinning you in a circle. When you looked over his shoulder though, your laughter died on your lips. Bucky was putting his jacket on and making his way toward the exit. Your heart plummeted into your stomach. You were hoping Bucky would have asked you to dance and it seemed as if the moment was passing. You don’t know if it was the buzz of alcohol in your veins, or the irrational fear that if this moment passed you didn’t know if either of you would ever work up the nerve to really know each other and maybe, if you were lucky, become something more.

“Go.” Sam said, you looked at him questioningly. “Go get him, trust me.”

You didn’t wait another second before bolting after Bucky, he was too far away, and the music was too loud for even his super soldier ears to hear you calling his name. He had made it through the exit before you could call his name again where he had the potential of hearing you. You took the stairs two at a time, rolling your ankle once. Before you made it to the door that led you outside.

“Bucky!” You called his name as you threw open the door. Bucky turned around shocked that you were standing there. You took a wobbly step onto the sidewalk, letting the door shut behind you. Bucky noticed the wobble in your step and jogged over to you before you could almost fall for a second time that night, while he loved seeing you in heels, he didn’t love the idea of seeing you fall in them.

“Why are you so nervous around me?” You blurted out. Grace was beyond you at this point, in all honesty it was probably beyond you three shots of tequila ago, but your irrational panic wasn’t helping anything here either. Bucky looked down at his shoes, taking a breath before stumbling around his words to answer your question.

“I just, I guess, I thought you wouldn’t want to be with someone like me.”

“Like you? What do you mean someone like you?” Bucky took a deep breath before making eye contact with you and the look in his eyes broke your heart.

“Someone like me, I’m a monster. I’ve killed people, even though I wasn’t mentally there at the time, it was still me that did it. I’m an experiment gone wrong, well, right for HYDRA, but wrong. I’m broken, and you deserve someone whole. Someone good. Someone that isn’t me. Someone like Sam probably.” At that moment it dawned on you, Bucky even if Bucky saw you down to your core, he couldn’t see himself clearly.

“Dance with me?” Your small voice cracked out.

“What? There isn’t even music playing out here.”

“It won’t kill ya.” You reply back coyly, a hopeful smile playing at your lips. Bucky looked at you for a minute before moving towards you apprehensively, he rested his hands gently at your waist, just a feather light touch from his metal one. Your hands made their way to behind his neck. You two swayed slowly back and forth. It took you a minute to gather your scattered thoughts before you spoke up.

“You’re not a monster you know,” you began, your voice just above a whisper, but you could tell by the way his muscles stiffened that he had heard you.

“A monster doesn’t feel remorse for pain they caused, they don’t feel guilt. They don’t worry about others more than themselves, or worry about others at all. Monsters don’t try to right their wrongs, or fight evil. Good people do. So, you aren’t a monster Bucky, and just because HYDRA experimented on you doesn’t make that the only thing about you. I wish they hadn’t done all those awful things to you, but I am glad they saved your life, because if they hadn’t you probably wouldn’t be here right now, and I wouldn’t be hopelessly in love with you. I love how strong you are because most people wouldn’t have survived everything you’ve been through, let alone survive and come out the other side strong and fighting back. I love how you seem so sure of yourself, and every move you make with the team when we’re out on a mission because there are times I’m scared absolutely shitless, but then I look over at you, and you’re strong, and not just physically, but you make me feel safe because I know you have my back. Everyone always thinks I’m strong, and brave to the point of fearless, and smart, but I doubt myself constantly, and I’m always worried about making the wrong move and who it will effect and that if I make the wrong one it would be all my fault, and what if someone got hurt because of me and I can’t fix it-”

Bucky placed both hands on the side of your face, tilting your head to look up towards his before leaning down and kissing you in the middle of your rant. You could taste the citrus and mint on his lips from the mojito he drank at the club. You pressed your body against Bucky’s and kissed him back. Your tequila-addled brain quickly losing it’s previous train of thought as the thought that Bucky’s lips were really on yours consumed you. By the time you broke apart you both were needing air. Bucky rested his forehead against yours.

“I wanna know ya, Doll.”

“I wanna know ya too, Bucky. Every part of you.” You could see the internal struggle Bucky was dealing with, worried that if you knew every part of him it would scare you away. He nodded his head before whispering four words you thought you’d never hear.

“I love ya too, Doll.”

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