Behind every school… there’s a teacher working beyond hours 😓 Late nights, endless registers, constant calls…

But imagine a life where work is balanced and time is yours again 😊

Behind every school… there’s a teacher working beyond hours 😓 Late nights, endless registers, constant calls…

But imagine a life where work is balanced and time is yours again 😊

Student: ...

Student: ...

Student: ...

Student: no

Teaching is fucken hard. Beyond hard.

It almost feels impossible.

But at the same time, I still love it.

Well. Scratch that.

I love teaching the subject I am passionate about, interested in and have an understanding of. That is when teaching is interesting - being able to create lessons, research topics and create more resources. 

But what I’m currently teaching is not that. Not that by a long shot.

Right now I am stuck in a holding pattern, teaching something I really have very little knowledge (or experience) in. I mean, I enjoy some aspects of it, but more as a hobby that I do from time to time rather than having to teach it day-in, day-out.

And it is seriously screwing with my mental health right now. 

I dread coming to school every damn day of the week. I dread having to front up and teach students something I am not sure in, where I feel like a fraud, where I feel like I am constantly failing them because my understanding and knowledge is so freaken limited. And even doing research to broaden my understanding brings me no joy - it feels like absolute torture. 

I dread my free periods where I sit in my office which just feels cold and uninviting, but I know I need to be here. I try to fill the void with listening to music or watching/listening to something to spark some interest, but even then it just falls completed flat. 

I just don’t know what to do anymore. 

The longer I stay, the more I understand why so many are leaving the teaching profession so quickly. Teachers are required to be so many things and fulfill so many roles, all the while teaching, taking part in extra-curricular activities, meetings, marking, more meetings. It’s just hit after hit. Add in the fact so many teachers are required to teach outside their specialty, well that just takes the cake. You get promised support and assistance, which is grand in theory, but the reality is something completely different. The expectation that those teachers with knowledge will teach their own classes and support those who are still learning just does seem ridiculous.  

Like I said before, I just don’t know what to do anymore. 

There are very few roles available in my subject at the moment, and even when they come available they are nowhere near where I live now. That would mean moving away from family to a completely unknown place which terrifies me. 

So do I stay in my holding pattern, teaching a subject I really have very little interest or knowledge in? Just leave? Find an entirely new career?