#tbmaw

So now youre here, late at nigh, lying in bed after an eventful, tiring, day. But of course, you couldnt sleep.

You didn't mean to, but you thought of Loki. You've never had relations with somebody before, at least not that you remember of, which is problematic at your age and with your stress level.

Maybe thats why your body is reacting so ferociously to Loki. The thought of him is makeing you all tingly, you cant help but sigh in pent up sexual frustration.

You are engrossed in finding relief and relaxation, which doesn't always work for you. Actually never, yeah, you've never managed to climax before. Or maybe you just expected more of a feeling? You are not quite sure. But it defently isnt satisfying your need.

You concentrate on your movements, in your imagination you see Loki in front of you. You've seen him shirtless a few times, which worsened your interest even further. Damn why must he be a hot villain too.

Well, he is an ally now, yes, but he is still Loki Laufeyson.

You keep concentrating, attempting to avoid thining of him, trying to picture hot actors or just anybody but him.

Suddenly your dark room brightens with a green shimmer.

Loki appears and you quickly hide under your covers.

"I know you're awake Y/N," the intruder says. You don't answer and pretend to be asleep.

"I heard your rapid breathing as I passed your door. I know what I'm interrupting." he teases in a singsong voice.

Damn how embarrassing, your breath catches in your throat.

"Oh, don't be embarrassed. Unless you were thinking about me Y/N, of course that would be a rather peculiar situation, huh?" he purrs provocatively, his voice getting even closers.

He can read minds, you know that, but you didn't think he could do it without even seeing the person.

"Oh, so you're not even denying it. Interesting. There's quite a bit I can do that you don't know about, kitten.", he continues.

Goosebumps form all over you, leaving you to shiver under the covers. He's right next to your bed.

"So Y/N, are you in need of assistance?", you can hear the smirk in his voice.

You try to think of nothing which is near impossible when consciously trying. Especially in the middle of getting yourself off.

"I heard your thoughts before, about you finding it hard to get a high. I just want to help you."

"How long were you listenig you little shit?!", you snap, throwing the blanket off your face huffing.

"Long enough to know how desperate you are."

"Cant you just leave and forget about this, please?", you mumble ashamed.

"But where is the fun in that? Come on now, its a win for both of us. Promise I wont tell.", he sits down at the edge of your bed.

Should you just accept? As soon as that thought crosses your mind, you get nervous. Cheeks burning, hands sweaty and heart racing.

"Do you fancy me that much, getting nervous like this?", he asks grinning.

You dont know if you should punch him or fuck him right now. He is so infuriating.

"I dont fancy you! Its just my hormones going crazy ok? Dont flatter yourself!", you hiss. Why must he torture you like this?

"Yea sure it is.", he says sarcastically.

You dont respond.

"Oh come on Y/N, do you really think you can finally reach your high this time? Just take it as a favor."

He sounds so sincere all of a sudden, what the hell? Well, god of mischief and lies, aint he?

"A favor? Dont act like you dont just want an easy girl for a night, but i am anything but easy.", you scoff bitterly. If there is one thing your job taught you, its to be suspicious of everything and everyone.

He sighs, "No, I dont think of you as easy. I admit I havent engaged in sexual activities for quite some time either, but what of it? It would stay between us, we would both profit from it."

He really sounds thruthful and his tone is kind of... tender? And for a moment the though of just accepting the offer crosses your mind again. It sounds simple enough, but you just dont know if you can trust him.

"Listen, I am entirely truthful right now. What would I gain by bragging about having sex with you? I am no school boy seeking validation Y/N. I believe here on Midgard you say, 'A gentleman doesnt tell.'."

"Will you please stay out of my thoughts?!"

"I can do that.", he smirks.

It actually makes sense though, he isnt friends with the others, why would he tell them? "Ok Loki, just promise me again, this stays between the two of us.", you awkwardly reach out your hand to him, attempting to seal the deal by a handshake.

He, however, grabs your hand and places a gentle kiss on your knuckles, "I promise. I know the past has not been kind to you either, I wish no harm to you.".

This gesture throws you off completely, you are not used to such tender affection. Your worry about trusting him eases a bit, a smile crosses your lips.

But now when you think about it, what if only he gets a profit out of it? When you cant get it yourself, what makes him so sure he will? You already expect a response from the god, but it seems he is keeping his word.

"On another note, what makes you so sure you can even help me with my *you gulp* struggle?", you ask with shaky voice.

He gives a deep chuckle, "Because I've gained some experiece in over a thousand years of living. So, shall we start?".

"Uhh, yea I guess.", as those words leave your lips, he gently sinks his lips onto yours.

You are surprised for a second, but return the kiss after a few moments. Its been some time since you kissed or made out, but you get into it pretty quickly. He leans forwart to you, one hand on your cheek. The kiss is deep with passion, his tongue asking permission to explore. You grant him entrance and he begins his route of discovery.

You grab the back of his neck, pulling him down so he is closer to you. He nibbles at your bottom lip and you cant keep a gasp from escaping you. Your tongues start to dance with each other, fighting for dominance. As you break apart for air her stops for a moment.

You hear him takeing off his shoes and crawl into your bed, now hovering over you. You cant help but giggle, seeing his determined expression lit by only the little light to your right.

You expect a cocky comment but instead your lips meet again. The kiss now just as determined as Lokis expression. It sends a warm feeling through your stomach, down to your core.

You lay your hands on his shoulders, traveling down his firm muscular arms. His hands start to wander too, from your back, over your ribs down to your waist where they stay with a firm grip.

You suck at his bottom lip and he takes a surprised breath. You smile into the kiss which leads him to lay his hands on your bare bottom and give it a hard squeeze. You let out a small yelp of surprise. He gives you a low chuckle and trails his lips off yours, down your cheek to your ear.

His hand moving up to steady himself again, the other one stroking a strand of hair from the path of his lips, he kisses behind your ear and starts nibbling at your earlobe, feeling his warm breath. You are overwhelmed with these new sensations.

Your hands travel to his chest, down his sturdy stomach, sixpack apparent to the touch. Then you wander further to the hem of his shirt, under it and up his torso again. His skin is soft. As he is assaulting your neck, he stops, "Like what youre feeling?", voice full with pride.

"Not bad, I must admit.", you giggle to which he only smirks and takes off his shirt.

Instantly your eyes wander down his bare chest and stomach. Wow. Pure eyecandy. He goes back to kissing your ear, but now the other one. The way he lets you feel him up so extensively while only gently kissing you, it feels like he wants to show you he is no threat to you. Maybe you are just imagining that, but it does make you more comfortable with the god.

As he does just that, you feel around his sides to his broad back and shoulders. And for the first time, a man above you with strong muscles does not make you panic. No, its hot. It feels strangely safe. He starts to trail down your neck, pulling down your shirt collar to reach your collarbone. You let out a tiny moan, you didnt know you were so sensitive in that spot.

You can feel your middle getting, shamefully, damp.

Lokis hand reaches the bottom of your shirt, starting to pull it up a bit. You grab his hands, stopping his movement. "What is it?", he asks hoarsly.

You swallow, "I- I was just getting a bit nervous, sorry.", you say shy.

You have quite a lot of insecurities lurking under the fabric of your shirt, accompanied by many scars, ugly reminders of past battles. While you feel more comfortable with him not harming you, letting him see all of you is still terrifying.

"Dont apologize, I'm glad you told me about it but I am without my shirt too, its only fair!", he grins.

"But then I'm completely naked!", you protest. Honestly, you are just afraid he is going to say sometehing hurtful.

"I do apologize for breaking my word but I was curious. Come on dear, I am sure you look beautiful. You can trust me.", he says so sweet, you think honey may start to drip from his lips. You blush at the sweet remark.

"Ok, just dont tell me if I prove you wrong.", you say, removing your hands from his.

"Oh nonsense my dear, even I wouldnt stoop so low. Especially when it isnt true, you are stunning.", Loki says waiting for you to trust him it seems.

You smile softly at his words, cupping his face and kissing him, leaving him gasping for air. He deepens the kiss again as you feel him slowly pulling your shirt back up.

Bare before him, you can feel his eyes before you even see them and your heart begins to race. You feel so exposed and vulnerable under his gaze, starting to move your arm to cover yourself. "Gorgeous. Ravishing, as I told you darling.", he coos.

He starts feeling up your stomach, to your ribs, settling on your breasts. Your stomach explodes with butterflies as relief washes over you.

As you start feeling around his wall of torso again he starts kissing your collar bones and boobs. You play with his hair, you always wanted to, it just looks so nice and it is as soft as it looks, smelling like lilac and mint.

You start to fondle with his scalp and can feel his shoulders relaxing. He definitely likes that. He showers your whole body with kisses and is slowly moving south, his long hair tickling you down his path. You keep massaging his head as you grip his shoulder with your free hand.

To say it pretty clearly, you are horny as fuck right now.

He is trailing down your hip, slowly moving your covers away as he is kissing down your thigh, takeing his sweet time which is, quite frankly, driving you insane. In the best way possible. As he kisses more and more to the middle of your thighs, you cant help but grip his hair firmly and letting out a small moan.

You feel your sex getting hot and twitchy. His hands are moving towars your middle and you feel a finger sliding over your lips. "So wet for me kitten, you want me to make you feel good now?", he purrs from between your thighs.

You feel his breath fanning agains your skin giving you goosebumps all over. "Yes, oh god yes.", you plead, urgency obvious.

"Say please.", he taunts, finger still stracing up and down.

"Please Loki. Please.", you plead with even more urgency.

And then finally he does; tongue caressing your most sensitive spot, hands pushing your legs apart. Your grasping at his hair harder again as you cant hold back a moan. It feels incredible. You claw into the sheets but keep your other hand in his hair, frankly, you have no control over it right now.

You let out a breath of surprise as he sinks a finger into you and starts moving it, makeing you whine in pleasure. He reaches a spot which feels so good, its unlike anything you felt before. And you think he knows that you feel good, keeping his movement exactly on that sweet spot of yours. Its sending waves of pleasure up my stomach. You move your hips feeling so good, arching your back off the bed as he takes a second finger.

"You taste exquisite.", he purrs as he gets some air into him.

Just as you think of an answer to that, he starts again. He sucks at your bundle of nerves, pushing you to arch your back again. Your whole body feels hot with lust.

You just wish you could touch him too right now, this feels a bit selfish letting him pamper you like this while he gets next to nothing. Arent you surpossed to give him something in return? And then he stops all of a sudden which you comment with a sad face. "Stop overthinking dear, just enjoy it. I will take care of you first, I'll have my fun soon enough.", he assures you, obviously having listened to your thoughts again.

He shifts and kisses you gently. You can taste yourself which somehow turns you on even more. He starts moving his fingers, thumb now rubbing your clit. The kiss gets heated as you lay your arms around his neck, pulling him close. He moves his fingers faster and faster as you claw at his back out of pure arousal.

He sits up, moves his lips from yours and uses his second hand to stroke your clit now. You let out a moan, you think you are nearing a climax.

He moves faster and faster as you cant hold back little croaked mewls. He watches your face like his life depends on it, feeling Lokis clothed cock press into your thigh which turns you on even more.

You swear you are so near an orgasm, you no longer hold control over your body, hips pressing into your helpers hands looking for further friction. Your crys of arousal growing more and more, Loki starts cooing sweet encouragements at you.

"Thats it dear. Dont hold back."

"Come on kitten, come undone for me."

"Dont resist it. Let it all out darling."

Those sinful words spoken so sweetly tumble you over the edge. "Oh g-od, Loki, I think I'm gonna com-e", you say with a sharp cry.

"Thats it Darling, come for me. Give into it.", he supports.

Just like that you reach your high. You claw at the sheets, head jolting back as your body arches into his hand. "There it is. Beautiful.", you hear Loki from a distance.

You feel your whole body shiver. While still in the process of climaxing, Loki keeps moving his fingers inside of you. Your hips are moving on their own, rubbing against his hand. You feel your body quake as you hold onto him and he pulls you closer into a sloppy kiss.

Just as you relax and lean back, body done twitching, he pulls his fingers out of you. You lay down catching your breath and he lays down next to you. He snakes his arm under your back, pulling you into his chest. His hand hovers over you back, softly raking against it.

"Held my word, didnt I?", he whispers into your ear sending shivers down your spine again.

"You certenly did.", you mumble into his chest on which you are drawing circles with your fingertips.

He lays a hand on your cheek and lets it stay there. You close your eyes and enjoying a kind of relaxation and peace youve never felt before.

"Would you like us to go further today?", he asks while stroking your head.

"You know what, yes, I trust you.", you say turning to him with a smile.

He shifts so he can meet your lips. Its not a passionate kiss, it feels more... loving? No, that can't be it. You cant describe it but it makes your heart flutter for a moment.

"I just remembered, I dont have a condom and I dont have one in my room either.", he says, surpising you of beeing so responsible in his excitement.

Said excitement beeing very noticable, urgendly pressing into your side. The question of how he even knows about eartly forms of contraception is a question for another time, you think to yourself.

"Oh, its alright, I'm on the pill.", you say, which surprises him apparently.

"Why are you on the pill when you dont have a partner?", he asks suspicious.

"Ive gotten it because of my acne and symptoms of my period.", you explain kind of hurt he is so suspicious of you.

"Very well then.", he says and gets up.

You sit up too, blanket clutched over your chest. "You think its gonna hurt?", you ask the question every girl has.

"What do you mean? I wont hurt you dear.", he says dubfounded.

"Oh, so you didnt hear that part. Well-", you stop, so embarassed you wish to vanish from earth.

"Are you trying to tell me you actually never slept with someone?", he asks soft but also curious.

"It just never- got to that. At least not to my knowledge, if you remeber the mystery about my name.", you mumble bashful.

"Right, sorry darling, that is fine.", he says softly, "I dont think it will hurt, at least not badly since you already had the pleasure.".

You smile dumbly, your mind racing back to other, filthier, thoughts. Hot breath makeing your mind foggy as tongues collide once again. He pulls you closer, so close you feel his cock nudge up at your stomach. You wander down to his waistband, wanting to feel him.

He smirks and snaps his fingers, suddenly naked in front of your very eyes. Well, you cant exactly see but defently feel his excitement. Your hands basically wander on their own, touching his hips and sliding to his sex, leaving him gasping as you stroke him once.

He lays his head on your shoulder and lets his fingers meet you most sensitive spot again, giving him a appreciative moan. You keep your fingers around his throbbing cock, pleasing him as you like. He lets out a tiny moan which makes you quite proud of yourself.

You sink your head back into your shoulders, enjoying his skilled touch. You quicken your movement, makeing him stop for a second to catch himself, it appears like. That may be because you are not stopping with the teasing. You enjoy seeing him off his high horse. His tense face is a nice sight as well. "Y/N- should we takes this further now?", he groans.

"What do you think we are working towards?", you taunt with a giggle.

He looks into your eyes a little more seriously, "I am asking your consent, kitten-".

You only mouth an "oh". You stop your motions, makeing him relax against you slightly.

"Am I right to take that as a yes?"

You nod, biting your lip.

"Oh my sweet, you dont even know how crazy you drive me. I will make you write in extacy.", he whispers against your shoulder, pressing himself against you. You barely hold back an audible gasp, instead sinking your hands down his back, "And you dont even know what kinds of sensations you bring me.".

"Oh I think I do." He slides down your sloulder, feeling him spreading sloppy kisses all over your cleavage, you grip his hair thightly as he moves his hips to meet yours. You feel him throbbing against your wetness.

"Ready darling?", he asks attentively, lightly pressing against you.

"I think so.", you say anxiously.

He leans forwart and gives you a chaste kiss, swallowing your lips as he sinks into you slowly. The kiss breaks from the vulgar sounds now echoing off the walls. You grimace a bit because it does feel a bit weird, but after a few seconds you get used to the feeling. He stays still for you to adjust, his jaw flexing in concentration.

That jaw... Oh lord that jaw.

"It doesnt hurt. I dont know if thats good or bad.", you whisper against his lips.

The question you had for years starts to resurface. Scenes that picture your own personal horror movie start to plague your imagination.

"Dont overthink it too much sweetheart, just enjoy the moment.", he soothes.

You exhale, calming your mind down from the scary szenarios almost takeing over. You are here, you are safe, nothing you dont want will happen.

"Are you alright?", he watches you and cups your cheek. He looks concerned. You lean into his touch, finding comfort in his caring demeanour.

"I think I am.", you whisper, looking at him, his eyes.

"Is it ok if we continue then? Excuse my blunt choice of words but it is rather difficult to withhold me fucking you into this matress right now.", he says calm, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Insatiable bastard. You shut him up with a kiss, figuring that counts as an answer. He smirks and starts lightly thrusting his hips. You wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him closer.

Gradually, his speed increases and now, every time he reaches that one spot deep within you, you get pushed up the mattrass a bit more. By now you are pressed against the headboard. "Where do you think your going?", he asks, gripping your hips and yanking you down to him again with one firm pull, "I'm not done with you yet.".

You whine as he pounds into you ruthlessly, bis tip barely off that spot before he crashes into it again. Your toes curl and your fingers grip a fist full of his hair as he cups the back of your head, pressing you into his chest.

The room is filled with the sounds of sex.

You feel yourself nearing a climax, heatwaves coursing through your body. "I- think I'm... cl- close-", you croak hoarsly.

"Me too darling.", he growls.

You pull him down by grabbing his neck, wanting more of him. You press yourself into him as much as you can, earning a low groan as reward.

"Come for me Y/N! Say my name as you come for me!", he commands, thumb harshky stroking your clit.

You scratch at his back...nearing... nearing... "I'm gonna co-", you whimper.

Your back arches and your body errupts into a shudder as every muscle of your body goes rigid. Only croaked crys of pleasure are able to leave your throat.

"S-ay my name Y/N, gods let me h-ear yo-u-", he groans, about to climax too.

"Lok-i, oh g-od, fuck.", you let out with a cry as him still trusting into you prolongues your high. With a low, beast like, growl he thrust into you hard one last time, feeling him spill into you.

He pulls out and falls next to you. The thick smell of sweat in the air is somehow really comforting to you. You nestle against his chest and he sneaks an arm around you. You come down from what you just did together, his quickened heartbeat just under your ear.

About to fall asleep on him, he suddenly moves and sits up. "What are you doing?", you ask, kind of sad the cuddles ended so soon.

"I saw you were falling asleep so I figured I'd leave now and let you rest.", he explains softly.

You hate to admit it, but something inside you doesnt want to be alone right now.

"Could you maybe stay? If not an inconvenience of course.", you ask shy.

"Of course dear.", he says with an understanding nod, smiling warmly. Loki slips back into bed, taking you into his arms once more. You pull the covers over you two and soon drift off to sleep.

Tbmaw: @fictive-sl0th @vbecker10 @fictional-hooman @mischief2sarawr @maple-seed @mochie85 @holdmytesseract @theaudacitytowrite @gigglingtiggerv2 @marygoddessofmischief @goblingirlsarah @oceandeepthirst @lokisgoodgirl @fallenlostarchives @kalinaselennespeaks @sid-prescottx @assemblingavenger @loki-n-hvitserk @crzyplantladyvibes @yoongissidebitchh @cakesandtom

Everything: @slytherclaw1227 @their-love

@vickie5446 @buttercupcookies-blog @peaches1958

"Y/N, you could have just asked me~", I purr playfully.

I see her tossing her head to the other side and walk closer. As she gives no answer, I enter her mind, touching her exposed leg to make it easier. As I see what she sees, a shiver like ice cold water crawls down my spine.

I see her, kneeling in the main room. The room is in chaos, the furniture thrown over and shredded apart. The normally white flokati rug Stark treasures like his life depends on it now blood red, soaked with blood. Nothing is as it normally would be, the room which held so many memories nothing but a ruin. Its an eerie sight, even for me. Air whips around the room, the windows smashed, glass scattered throughout the room.

Then I see it, my stomach dropping.

The team is dead, except Y/N. All seven of us.

Composed from all our blood, a giant puddle forming on the floor. Some of us are missing limbs, which arent far from sight, scattered around like ordinaty trash. Others are impaled by glass or weapons of any kind. Others obviously shot dead, executed. It is too much to bear, even for me.

When I spot myself lying motionless in a corner, impaled by the horns of my beloved helmet, head hung low with blood dripping out my slack jaw, i quickly avert my gaze. My heart is punching against my chest, faster than the priciest stallions Asgard knows. But its not just the sight of my own demise. Sure a lot of the teammates are infuriating oafs, but they are still my teammates. They accepted me here, after all Ive done, so I grew fond of most. Some of them are even pretty nice if I am truely honest.

Thor beeing part of this massacre isnt doing me anything good either. Smashed into the living room table, Mjolnir still hanging from his lifeless hand. His signature red cape tightly wrapped around his neck makes it look like he has been strangled. A part of me longs to check if maybe I would be able to save him but I remind myself; this is not real.

Its a dream.

An awful, hellish, dream.

The only obvious evidence for this being not real is that there is no smell. In reality it would reek of copper and gunpowder.

And then there is Y/N. Kneeling in the middle of it all.

A vile man that looks as if he was created by Surtur himself, standing in front of her. "That is what you get for disobeying a direct order. I should have fried out your brains when I had the chance. All of them are dead, thanks to you. Everything you needed to follow your order was provided, yet you still disobeyed it. You are nothing but a worthless little girl.", he says with an evil scowl on his face. He has a thick accent and looks like a gargoyle, short and ugly. Y/N is in some sort of paralized state, frozen you could say. I can hear her trying to scream but it only comes out as muffled crys.

Out of nowhere he stabs her in the lower stomach. Again and again. Blood pouring down her legs. She collapses, falling face first, still not able to break her fall.

"Now I must finish it for you. Die, die like all of your oh so heroic friends!" He angles the knife to the back of her neck, his teeth cleched in blind rage. "Die like the other Soldiers!"

Thats when I decide to get out of her mind.

I should really end this. In a way, I'm glad I noticed so that I can help her now, but a small part of me is disgusted with my own thoughts about why I came to her in the first place. I feel for her since nightmares are nothing new to me, but this one made even me panic momentarily. I hurry to her side, hoping to end her terror.

I carefully shake her shoulders, "Hey, Y/N, wake up. Its just a dream, wake up.". I see beads of sweat wetten her forehead. She is in the fetal position, face filled with agony. Her eyes puffy, dark circles prove of her unrestful slumber. She only whines painfully at my attempt to wake her.

"Y/N its only a dream, wake up. Its okay, you are safe.", I try again. This time she shoots up straigt, swaying a little. Like a scared child, she pulls her legs toward her chest, makeing herself as small as possible, back pressed to the hearbord. She is disoriented and fearfully scans the room, a botched sob falling from her trembling lips. "Hey Y/N, its me, you were having a nightmare. You are alright, you are safe, everybody is fine.", i try to pacify her, rubbing her arm to calm her down. Big watery eyes scan my face, her lip trembling. As she realized who i am, where she is and that she is really safe, she leans into me, head on my shoulder.

She begins to break down and I feel a bit helpless but decide to keep rubbing her back and let her calm down. She claws into my shirt as stability while her sobs continue. "Its alright. I'm here, nobody can hurt you. The others are all safe, it was not real.", I whisper to her, trying to soothe her fear. After a few minuten she calms down, pulling her face away from my shoulder and releasing my shirt.

"I hate beeing so fragile in front of someone. Its just- this nightmare. Its always this one.", she sniffles, another tear falling down. "Its alright. It was a nightmare, nothing to be ashamed of. I wont tell anyone." I cant help but see myself in her, always wanting control but loosing it, even in my sleep. Haunted of the past, memories fusing into grotesk nightmares.

I wipe her tears away as I notice she is oddly warm to the touch. I lay my hand on her forehead which is even hotter than her cheek. "You are having a fever, no wonder you had a nightmare.", I observe, pushing her back into her pillows. "Yea I think I got a bad uti, i got my period too which makes it a lot worse.", she says with shaky voice. "Were you at the doctor already or do you just think?", I ask a bit concerned. "I think, I wanted to go to Bruce tomorrow, I didnt think it would get this bad. I wanted to go yesterday but then my period kinda got in the way.", she explains. "You should really go see him tomorrow before it worsens. And why did your period get in the way, dont you take the pill allowing you to time it?", I ask, the curiousity getting the best of me. "It was just too much, I couldnt get out of bed today. And I do but I forgot to get new ones so then it started yesterday.", she says, tired eyes looking at me.

I should really let her get to sleep again, stop pestering her with questions. But somehow, I must continue. "Its a natural thing, no need to be embarrassed about it. Are yours that painful?", I ask concerned for the little human. "Unfotunantly they are pretty bad.", she says, her eyes closing on their own. "I'm sorry to hear that. I best let you get some rest now, if you need me, you know where my room is.", I say getting up.

I was held back by Y/N's hand however. "Please dont go, when you stayed here last time- I havent slept that well in a long time, I- I hate sleeping alone.", she explains, head hung in embarassment. I sit down, "Of course dear, as long as it helps you rest.". She smiles, gratitude spread in her eyes.

I conjure a bottle of water, opening it and handing it to her, "Here, drink some water. It will do you good.". She gratefully takes a few sips and puts it on her nighstand, curling up into the fetal position again. As I made myself comfortable, I pull her back into my chest, spooning her, letting her stay in her side position since that seems to be the most comfortable for her. An idea crosses my mind. I warm up my hands using seiðr and lay it on her covered stomach. Her had holds onto my arm as she humms gratefully. It takes less than two minutes and I hear her breate calm and evenly.

I snap quietly, changing my clothes into some joggers and a shirt. I free her face from some strands of her hair, smiling to myself at how soft her cheek is. Quiet whimpers and groans from Y/N confirm, she is back asleep, dreaming again. And I am ready to wake her, should another nightmare terrorize her from getting well again.

I drift off, my hand remaining on Y/N's stomach.

Tbmaw: @fictive-sl0th @vbecker10 @fictional-hooman @mischief2sarawr @maple-seed @mochie85 @holdmytesseract @theaudacitytowrite @gigglingtiggerv2 @marygoddessofmischief @goblingirlsarah @oceandeepthirst @lokisgoodgirl @fallenlostarchives @kalinaselennespeaks @sid-prescottx @assemblingavenger @loki-n-hvitserk @crzyplantladyvibes @yoongissidebitchh @cakesandtom @theallknown213

Everything: @slytherclaw1227 @their-love @vickie5446 @buttercupcookies-blog @peaches1958

Warnings; a bit of cursing, yelling, comedy, bit of Loki thirst, wacky attempt to capture the Avangers characters.

Wordcount: ~3000

Enjoy.

It was a normal day when they arrived. Well, normal for you at least.

You were standing in the common room, half living room, half kitchen. It was early in the day, not long after 1pm, so like any normal adult, you went to make yourself some cereal. This is breakfast for you.

You dont have a mission today, so you obviously slept in.Saying that, you were hopeing for a nice, relaxed day, however your wish was not granted. Your peace is beeing disturbed. Not only with their arrival, but also with a lot of Avangers here to welcome the now additions. Most were at least quiet, but Tony and Steve bickering and bitching like little kids is something else. You also know that with Sam beeing here, you will have to hide your snacks. That guy is always hungry. And Scott can be just as bad, him beeing able to shrink to ant size really makes it difficult to hide stuff from him.

As you reach the cupbord, after climbing onto the counter to reach it, they arrive.

Not quietly of course, no, it was with a loud boom of thunder, almost makeing you fall.

You guessed it, the beloved god of thunger and his infamous brother, the god of mischief, here to join earths mightiest heros. You knew Thor ever since you got here yourself, you are good friends. He could be a bit dull sometimes and very oblivious to, well, about pretty much eveything, but he really is just a giant teddy bear.

You never had the pleasure to meet his brother Loki however. Now, you say pleasure, you havent exactly heard good things. Given that the Avangers are your family and he mind controlled Clint, threw Tony out the highest point of the tower and attacked with an army of freak aliens,... To say you arent that fond of him would be the nicest way of putting it.

There was a whole briefing going on to be prepared for their arrival. Lokis arrival. A few members, such as you, have not been part of the team when he attacked earth, that was the reason for the briefing. So everybody got a list of his abilities and such, something that looks like a wanted poster.

-Lokis powers-

Teleportation, Shapeshifting, forming Energy blasts, casting illusions.

Able to read minds and project his thoughts to others, no physical touch needed.

Skilled in magic (seiðr), skilled in hand-to-hand combat. Genius level intellect.

Heritage: Jotunn.

You have memorized the list of his powers, it worried you. Not only that, no, his whole person worries you, god of mischief and lies, a frost giant. You would be toothless against him. Your weapons would have no effect on him, normal daggers wont pierce his skin. Bullets only leaving bruises. So even your trusted Kunai would fail you. Yes, it worries you.

What also worries you is that his is so damn good looking.

While Thor did assure that "Loki is a changed spirit. He no longer wishes to bring suffering to midgard.", nobody was fully convinced. But you promised Thor to give him a chance; for him. You know he loves his brother, even though they dont really express it too much in the crazy relationship they have.

So now you stand here, in your PJ's, pink fluffy socks and hair up in a very messy bun. So much for first impressions.

The others swarmed around Thor, who was booming with delight to see his friends again, hugging his old pals way too tightly. They look like those anti stress balls with eyes that pop out in his giant arms.

Loki on the other hand stood two steps behind his brother, seeming pretty annoyed by the whole ordeal. It appears he isnt one for big gatherings either.

You get away from the cabinet and lean onto the kitchen island, listening to the things Thor has to say. He ends up talking about new Asgard, which is where they came from right now.

After they successfully stopped Thanos, they went to new Asgard, help build the new kingdom further. Everybody thought Thor would, naturally, become king of new Asgard, with both Odin and Frigga dead. But he renounced his claim to the throne, leaving Valkyrie and Heimdall to be voted as the rulers of new Asgard since Loki was voted out by the people.

"Why dont you take that throne already? Oh blondie...", Tony claps him on the shoulder, shakeing his head. "I do not wish to rule, I only wish to build a peaceful future. Possibly with a family of my own." "Let me guess...", Tonys lips thin in a upside down smile. Several people, in unison, answer for him, "With Jane.". Thor nods solemnly and proceeds to tell the others about going to meet Jane later, seeing if they could be able to reconcile.

Poor guy still loves her.

It is the same old story; any time you two really have a chat, you end up at the talk of how much he misses her. You do feel bad, but youve heard it so many times by now. At some point you lost interest and went back to retreiving your cereal, only to realize somebody put the empty box back into the cupbord.

This really took the cake; your day officially ruined. You snatched the empty box and stormed to your roommates and teammates, doubting it was your roommates Nat and Bruce.

"Ok, which assh-" "LANGUAGE!", Steve heckles. You shoot him a fuming, warning, look and continue, "WHO ate all the cereal and put the empty box back?!", you look through the small crowd of people.

Nobody speaks.

Peter looks terrified, but you know he wouldnt, hes just a little timid. Then you spot it, the slight panic in Tonys eyes. You point at him, "You! I see the panic in your eyes, you did it!", you stride towards him. As you do, your bun loosens and plaps down the side, Tony smirks and reaches for your hair. You snap your head towards him, "Do you want to lose a hand today?" He hurriedly pulls back, "Ok ok I did it. I was hungry ok? I'll buy you some later.". You pout, "So am I! This is my day off and all I wanted was a relaxing day and now I cant even have my breakfast!".

"Its after 1 Y/n.", Nat says matter of factly. "What didnt you understand when I said 'day off' and 'relaxing day'?"

Clint looks at you dead serious, "No thats actually the perfect day off. I'm with you on that one." "You also love hanging out in your jammies and pink fluffy socks with your hair in a bun, stuffing your face with snacks all day?", you ask him in play seriousness. He nods, "Yes of course, normally I do paint my nails and put on a nice face mask too.", he plays along. "I always make myself a nice salad and go shopping.", Scott joins in with a nasal tone.

You three break character at that point and fall into laughter. Nat just shakes her head with a grin. Its a real talent of them, they always lighten the mood.

Your stomach growls, "I'm so hungryyy.", you whine. "Cant you just eat something other than cereal?", Sam asks. You think, "I mean, I do have some leftover food in the fridge and some cooki- Why are you looking at me like that?". Sam's jaw flexed when you mentioned the cookies and Bruce looked away when you said leftovers. "Oh come on! When did you even eat my cookies? I saw you come in, thinking 'oh, Sam is here I need to hide my snacks'.", you pout again, but now you are actually a little sad, feeling betrayed. "When you put your hair up. I'm sorry ok? I didnt know it was your day off and you wanted to relax.", he says a little guilty.

"And I didnt know it was your left over food. I'm really sorry.", Bruce says. Oh man, you cant be mad at Bruce, he probably worked late again and forgot to eat until he almost passed out. It has happened before, Tony found him. Ever since that day Jarvis is able to tell the heart rate and general well beeing of people inside the tower.

You sigh, "Its ok guys, just... ask in the future ok? I just remembered, I should have some waffles- oh god please no...", you see Scotts smile drop and know exactly what that means. "I thought they were Tonys, I'm sorry.", he exclaims. "Hey! I'd be very careful Tumbelina. If I held a grudge, I could, litrally, smash you like a bug.", Tony looks at him through hooded eyes.

You sigh and awkwardly sway on the balls of your feet, "I'M HUNGRYYYYY!". That got everybodys attention, all eyes are now on you and you blush a little.

You arent just hungry, no, you are hangry. A dangerous state for an assasin to be in.

"Ok. Lets just settle this. Pizza on Tony?", Steve looks at Tony. He rolls his eyes but nods. Just as you happily turn away you realize how rude you actually are.

"Oh and-", you walked to Thor, giving him a big hug which he happily returns, "Welcome back thunder.". "Y/n, havent lost your wit I see.", he says with a chuckle as you pull apart. "No, I havent. You got to with these scatterbains.", you chuckle too. You hear several offended noises in the room which only seals your words.

You turn around to Loki who still looks pretty detached, but also so unfairly handsome. "Havent had the fortune of meeting you up to now. Y/n, alias Medusa.", you put out a hand to shake, looking into his eyes.

His eyes remind you of dense treetops; a dense green through which the bright blue sky shimmers. He looks at you for a second before stepping closer, giving your hand a firm squeeze, "Loki, god of mischief. I am certain you have heard only the very best of me.", he smirks.

He smells of leather, mint and winter. Like fresh snow. Devine. You bite your tongue to distract yourself.

"Yes, precisely. Like throwing Tony off the rooftop.", you smirk back. "Alright, thats it! Go order that Pizza before I change my mind!", Tony interrupts with an offended hand at his hip. "Lets order together then.", you suggest, squeezing onto the couch next to Peter. You like the kid, you are only 4 years older than him, so you get along quite well.

After 20 minutes you finally ordered all 11 Pizzas. Took Thor a bit to convice Loki to give it a try, saying 'it tastes like Valhalla in a box'. And you agree with that analogy wholeheartedly.

You took Peter with you to collect them from the lobby and going straight back to the common room. You didnt even have time to announce the feast before Sam and Thor snatched the boxes out of Peters and your arms. Its a mistery how they didnt scatch up your exposed skin. "You guys act like you havent been fed in weeks!" "I have not eaten in five hours! I am practially starving. It takes substance to maintain this physique!", Thor tries to reason. Loki rolls his eyes, one of the first emotions you saw on his face up to now. "So you have a reason for nearly takeing my arm, but that one just stole and ate my cookies!", you point to Sam who is already opening every box to find his Pizza. Hearing you he just shrugs and continues looking.

You sit down again, next to Peter who sat back in the same spot he just left. After a few moments everybody is seated and has their Pizza.

To Thors joy, Loki enjoys the food he was praising to him. Not openly of course, but he couldnt keep the corner of his mouth from twitching up. Everybody knows, no complaint is praise enough.

"So, where will you guys live?", Steve asks to break the silence. Loki just looks at Thor, who swallows audibly at the question, "Well, we would need to look for a place to stay except- You know, if we could take residency in your noble castle Stark.". You stop eating, giving this your undevided attention. "I mean sure, theres enough space. Just dont call the Hammer through the walls; better yet, dont break stuff at all. And behave!", he looks directly to Loki at the last part. He raises his hands in mock surrender, "I wouldnt dare.". "Dont worry Stark, I wont let the goat mistreat your benevolence. Thank you for your kindness to not leave us without shelter.", the blonde god bows with a teethy smile.

Your eyes wander to Loki who is seated on a hassock, jaw clenched at the nickname Thor just called him. Mighty lord above, that jaw- You swear something inside you just ignited. And those thighs, wait. Why the hell are you staring at his thighs? Why must that armour of his be so tight in those places? I bet he purposefully got them made like that. God get a grip woman! You pinch yourself and peel your eyes away from that sinful eye candy which now even lives here. Ugh, thats gonna be a challenge.

"I know, I'm such a self less guy, right?", Tony says, shoving a piece of pizza in his mouth. You scoff at him, and even Bruce raises an eyebrow at him.

Which reminds you of bounderies that have yet to be set. "No takeing my stuff and no going in my room without permission!", you raise a pointer finger, pointing between both of them. "Of course lady Y/n.", Thor assures you, to which you narrow your gaze. As long as there is enough pop tarts your food should be safe from Thor, but Loki?

You will have to see what happens.

That dude can teleport, shapeshift, he could go into your room without you even knowing. The thought makes you tingly, NO! Get your mind out of your panties Y/n! Hell, he could probably even shift to look like Nat! You nearly spirall down the lane of paranoia but you shrug it off. You panicking would only encurage him.

"If there are two more residents now, we really have to start writing down groceries. This cant keep on happeing, or somebody's gonna get shanked." Tony looks at you annoyed, "Just tell Jar what to get. It will show up in the app. As I've told all of you at least ten times.". "Hey! Dont get pissy with me! At least I try to make a homemade meal every now and then, everybody else just orders food! No wonder Fury orders annual fitness exams!", you lay an offende hand on your chest. "Just tell him in the future!", Tony rolls his eyes.

"Fitness exams? Well, that is new.", Thor laughs. "Oh yea, these [you point at Tony, Sam, Scott and Clint] have got cought one night, throwing something which can only be described as a grease feast.", you tell the god who hadnt been here for a few months. The culprets avert their gaze, clint starts whistling and Scott clears his throat. "That sounds revolting and yet I want to be part of a feast like that.", Thor mutters, makeing you face palm yourself and Sam clap his shoulder with a nod. "Well, you will have to do it secretly, Fury is onto all of us. Which reminds me, we have to burn the evidence of this right here or he'll make us do burpees again.", the memory makes you shudder.

"Oh come on, a bit of exercise would be really good for all of us.", Steve says sternly, earning several annoyed grunts. "A bit of exercise?! Have you forgotten what Fury did last time?", Tony says in a higher than usual voice. "It wasnt that bad-", Steve tries to continue but several people cut him off. "NOT THAT BAD?!"

"Thats easy coming from the super soldier!", Nat speaks up. Yes, even she struggled during the Burpee incident. "I had to wear my suit to even go to the bathroom! Do you know how much Pepper mocked me?!", Tony bores his fingers into Caps chest, furious from the reminder of those days.

"Three days I couldnt move! And the following week was hell on earth, every movement hurt! Even the hulk was out of it!", Bruce whines. You swear you heard Loki snicker and whisper "Server you right.". Brucy was in so much pain, the hulk broke out, but even he couldnt move. It was a pathetic sight, the unbeatable hulk starfishing in the hallway, whiped out by some burpees. If Loki knew, he probably wouldnt stop laughing, given his and the hulks history.

"I couldnt lift my arm to press the elevator buttons! I CRAWLED to my room, THATS how bad it was!", you damn near cry at the memory.

"You are all just out of shape!", Steve shakes his head. "Shut up!", Nat throws a magazine at him but he, of course, catches it.

"I'm so glad to not be an official member yet. I think I would have died that day, I'm not even kidding.", Peter says small. "Lucky.", you mumble.

The days following Thor and Loki’s arrival were relatively quiet. You didn't see them around much and soon you had to go on another mission. It would be an easy one, just some undercover work to get data from an organization trying to bring down the whole justice system.

As is often the case, it sounded more exciting in the briefing than it actually was in the field. After hours of surveillance, you were beginning to regret the career choices which landed you here, bored as heck, sitting at a window with Clint, not that you mind missions with Clint. He is competent and pleasant, but Tony, on the other hand, that’s another story.

He was supposed to be your ride along today, but 'thankfully' Pepper broke her arm by falling down the stairs. Not that you didn't feel bad for her, but if Tony had come along, you might have broken his. On your last mission with Tony, he’d bossed you around while frolicking about in his suit, not even bothering to tell you about the group of Chitauri heading straight for you. You were left fighting 8 Chitauri, Tony's cocky remarks about your defense ringing through the comms, only stopping when you nearly got killed. He didn't just take them down and get on with it, oh no, not Ironman. He had the audacity to make a show out of it, pirouetting around and landing with a bow while you had a bullet shatter your shin. You would have killed him on the way back home if you hadn't been in so much pain, because even then he didn't stop; no, he told you it was your fault for not paying attention to your surroundings! He, who was 30 feet in the air with a perfect view of everything, told you, who was down, enclosed in the forest, you did not pay enough attention to your surroundings. After two surgeries and 5 months off missions, when you finally recovered you avoided missions with Tony.

You rested your forehead on the windowpane and groaned. After 12 uneventful hours, even Clint ran out of easy going jokes, the both of you so bored you could barely stay awake. Thankfully, around hour 15 you finally spotted your target. In a matter of minutes, the 2 of you subdued the target, used his fingerprints to access the building, hacked the mainframe, obtained some vital intel, and planted a crippling virus. One short flight later and you were back at the tower; you weren't even gone a day.

Back at the tower, you’d wandered to the common room for some water and a post-mission snack when you spotted Thor.

"Hey Thunder, you all settled in yet?". You walked up to him, giving him a small side hug.

"I am indeed. I even got a chance to talk to Jane." He smiled from cheek to cheek, and you elbowed him affectionately.

"Awesome! What did she say? Did you talk it through?"

"Yes”, he nodded enthusiastically. “She’s even letting me take her out to dinner tomorrow!"

"Daaaamn, what do you have planned?", you plopped on the couch, looking at him expectedly.

"Well, I- must admit I did not think that far ahead.", he mumbled, sitting down too.

"What? Dude, you gotta choose a restaurant at least! This is New York, all the good ones are probably booked already! What does she like?"

The chances of him getting a table at a good restaurant, in New York, on a Saturday at dinner time are slim. Even as Thor.

"Pizza! And pasta. And those little doughy triangles filled with... stuff.". He was thinking so hard you could almost see his brain spasming.

"Samosas, got it. So, Indian and Italian food. Alright. What time do you guys meet?"

"7:30." He answered and you got your phone out, already looking for restaurants. After a lot of calls, pleading and the exaggerated use of Thor's name, you got them a reservation at a highly rated Italian place. Giving him the address, you continued,

"And what will you wear?"

"I do not know. But I am guessing my usual attire is not suitable."

"No, as much as I love your Asgardian battle armor, which isn't really a date night outfit. Do you own a suit?"

"I used to, but I sold it at the charity event," he hangs his head.

"Ah, yes. Well, you need a suit. You’ll have to buy one, which, with your physique, it could be challenging to get one off the rack."

"I could ask Loki to conjure one for me."

"Oh, right, he can do that too- ok, so that's settled." Caught off guard by the mention of Loki’s name, you thought, shit, I really need to do something about this growing interest in Loki.

 “Thank you for your help with the restaurant. I will go see Loki about my suit. I can’t wait to see Jane tonight.” You murmured an appropriate response of some kind, distracted by imagining Loki in a well-tailored suit. You shook your head to clear your thoughts and made your way to your room for the evening.

The next day passed slowly as you updated mission reports. Clint didn’t help with any of the documentation, but he was a pleasant distraction with his jokes and stories. You stared at your computer, bored out of your mind.

"Miss L/n, mister Odinson requests your presence in his quarters", Jarvis announced.

"Oooooh, did I miss something?" Clint teased, making a kissy face. You slapped his arm.

"No, stop it! He is taking Jane out to dinner today, I bet he wants my opinion on his suit." You got up, hearing a "Yea sure! Use protection!" behind you.

"Shut up Katniss!", you shouted back. As soon as the elevator doors opened to the living quarters, you heard shouting.

"I asked you to give me a suit! This is not a suit!", Thor shouted.

"I thought you wanted something that fits you, I gave you just that!", Loki retorted sharply. You walked faster, fearing an escalation.

"So, this is what you think of me? I look as if I've been through a cheese grater!" You heard something break which had you sprinting through the corridor.

"Stop breaking my things! I just got that table!", Loki yelled, really fired up.

"Don't act like you can't conjure another one right now!" You arrived at their sitting area and ran through to Loki’s room.

"Stop fighting guys, what's the- What the hell?", you questioned, seeing splinters of wood strewn throughout the room and Thor clothed in God-knows-what. It's just a shirt and jeans, but with more holes than fabric. You don't even know where Loki got that outfit inspo from. Half his ass is hanging out from the pants!

"Look at this abomination of attire!", Thor whines, tugging at the hem of the shirt.

 "Yea that's not... Please, can you give him a suit? It's really important.", you plead with Loki. He looks so handsome with his hair freshly washed, all floofed up. You bit your lip subconsciously as you took in his forest green tunic and dark pants, which clung to him in just the right places. He follows your gaze, smirking devilishly, making you drop your eyes to the floor, cheeks heating up ferociously. Your blushing went unnoticed by Thor, but Loki had seen it and mentally cataloged it as something to explore further in the future.

"I think I can do that, Agent.", he looks at Thor and with a single hand movement and a green spark, Thor is wearing a suit. Only...it’s the ugliest suit you've ever seen. It's neon yellow with a checkered pattern and a blue dress shirt underneath; the clashing colors are awful.

 "What is this yellow monstrosity?! Change it, right now!", Thor bangs his fist into the wall, putting a crater into the solid bricks.

"Hey! Stop it, you buffoon!", Loki spits, rage flaming in his features, though you wonder why he is mad. He is the one fucking around with Thor’s patience.

"Thor! Tony is gonna kill you, please, calm down. We will solve this just- please stop destroying things. And you'', you turn assertively to the angered Loki, "give him a nice suit. This is important for him; can't you just help him?"

Both of them look at you like a deer in the headlights.

"Fine.", the blonde haired god calms down, "But he will change me this instant. And properly this time.", he pouts. Loki sighs loudly.

"Alright.", he snaps his wrist again and Thor wears another suit, "Happy now?". You give Thor a once over, considering the new attire. It's a perfectly fitted, cool toned grey suit, with a light blue dress shirt and deep blue tie.  

"Very nice. Blue is a good choice, goes well with his eyes. Thank you."

Thor pats himself down, feeling the fabric,

"Thank you, brother. This one is rather nice."

The raven haired god nods,

"Very well. Would you mind? I have some renovations ahead.", he gestures to the door.

You tug at Thor's arm, steering him towards the door, "Bye Loki.".

"Goodbye, Agent.", he smirks, closing the door behind you.

After that you helped Thor prepare for the date, reassuring him. You sent him to the florist across the street, telling him to get a bouquet of whatever flowers he thinks she might like. He came back with powder pink roses.

Finally back in your room, you flop onto your bed and your thoughts begin to spiral down an unwelcome path. You usually try to stay busy, but sometimes you can’t stop the questions. There is just so much about your life you don't know, don't remember. Will you ever find your story, or will you die, taking the uncertainty to the grave? You've done what you could, tracing back the steps. but it only brought you back to hydra. Going back to the hydra facility you’d called home was a bust; it was completely vacant. No traces left behind, only the card deck you and the others used to entertain yourselves with.

When it was finally time for him to go, you went over everything again, adjusting his tie and reminding him of the address to the restaurant. You've got a good feeling about this; Thor and Jane are good people. They are heroes. They deserve to be happy.

You long for more than boring missions and futile searching into your past. When will you finally allow yourself to feel loved? It’s stupid, making yourself suffer, trying to pay the price for the path left behind. You know your lonely penance won’t change a thing, but getting to live a life filled with love just feels wrong. After all you've done, it's simply not right; you don’t deserve happiness.

You wonder what happened to your few friends back at hydra. Were they killed because of you? Because you choose life? Maybe you don't want to know. The slip-n-slide of overthinking got you again and you know, if you don't get off that ride right now, you won't be able to stop for hours.

You decide to text Taylor and Kenma, your two best and only friends, outside of the tower at least. Taylor does not take long to respond but declines, saying Sean, his boyfriend, had already something planned for today. It's a common occurrence, ever since they started dating, meeting him became a rare occurrence. Sean is a horrible person, but Taylor loves him far too much. He just can't get himself to end things.

A bit later, Kenma texted back but she is at work, nightshift. Damn it.

"Jarvis, who is in the Tower right now?", you say to the ceiling.

"Mister Laufeyson is in his private rooms, Doctor Banner is in his laboratory alongside mister Stark."

"Ask Stark and Banner if it's alright if I join them, please.", you sigh.

You really hoped Nat was home, or that either Scott or Clint was here since they never fail to crack you up.

"You are welcome to join them."

"Thanks Jarvis."

In the lab, you find them bickering about technology to add to the suits of some teammates, including you. So, in the end, you put in your suggestions too, helping create them.

Yours got more protection, it's fire resistant now and has even more pockets to store little items in. And they even built in an extra one for throwing stars, your "last resort" weapon. Never used them in battle, but in an emergency they’re better than nothing.

When night fell, Tony went home, and Bruce fell asleep on a pile of fabric samples. You went back to your room. You tried to sleep, you really did, but you just couldn't. So, you ended up thinking about him. Loki. Why must that tunic of his be so tight? You saw every ridge of his abs, every line on his chest. And those pants and that smirk. Ugh, did he see me blushing?! Oh, so what if he did? And his hair, Thor must have interrupted his brother after a shower, but you are kind of grateful for it. He looked adorable with his hair all floofed up. 

Do gods have bad hair days? Thor certainly does, you know that for a fact. Tony once straightened his blonde locks out while he fell asleep after a mission. Tony made sure to do an awful job. The result was a lot of yelling, gloating laughter and a broken elevator door. Ahh, fun times. If Loki has had a bad hair day, you sure haven’t seen it, at least not yet, you thought mischievously.

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Finally, that's over.

After a nearly two week long mission of you being on the move constantly, trying to track down a freaky new organization threatening havoc on all of humankind, you finally come back home. You are exhausted to say the least.

Sleep has been scarce. If you were lucky you got 4 hours before you had to proceed with your pursuit. And when you had the luck to sleep, you had to do so in your car seat since taking a room wasn't an option, being on the move constantly. You also only ate junk food, mostly snacks. Sometimes you'd stop at a random drive through.

You missed the others incredibly, but not as much as your bed and a full 8 hours of sleep.

On your way home you had made your plans for the next day. Greeting everybody, making a nice hearty homemade meal and retreating to your room, watching some movies or just sleeping. Throwing yourself in your sweat pants, an oversized shirt, your fuzzy robe and fuzzy socks. Snuggling into your bed. That is the plan and you won't let anybody or anything interrupt.

Finally you reach the living quarters in the Tower.

They know you are coming back today, since you told Jarvis to announce it, which gave everybody a notification. The elevator opens and you walk in the common room, plopping down your heavy duffle bag. "I'm home.", you mumble quietly, more to yourself. Nobody is there, it makes you kind of sad, not gonna lie.

It's a call from reality, that even though you tell everybody, including yourself you're fine, you are in fact lonely.

And this moment symbolizes it, coming back from a long mission and nobody is there to greet you.

But oh well, you are with the Avengers and something always requires your attention, can't be mad at them. "Jarvis, where is everybody?", you ask the AI. "Doctor Banner is working in his laboratory. Agent Barton is home with his family. Mister Laufeyson is in his living quarters. Mister Odinson, Captain Rogers and Agent Romanoff are out on a mission. They should come back shortly. Mister Stark is in a conference. Do you have any other questions?" It takes you a second to connect all these infos.

"No, that was it, thank you."

You knew of the mission Thor, Steve and Nat are at right now since it is connected to your undercover observation. Its saturday so it was pretty expectable for Clint to be home if he is free. Tony being in a conference is the usual, he is doing more press and bureaucracy than actual missions lately. Bruce working is to be expected as well as Loki being in his room.

Oh well.

You shrug and decide to pursue your plan for the day, walking into the kitchen. You open the fridge and observe which ingredients are available, deciding on a simple chicken noodle soup, figuring that is the definition of a hardy comfort food. You chop all the veggies and boil the water on the side. It doesn't take long until you have all the ingredients in the pot and the noodles are cooking.

While it simmers you jump onto the counter and scroll your phone. The others are finished with their mission, Nat texted you. Cap won't come to the tower today, but Thor and Nat will be back in about two hours. That makes you really happy since you are pretty close to them. Thor loves your cooking, it just feels nice, being able to cook for the others, like for a family.

Plus he eats a lot and the others aren't complaining about food either, which means there is never the danger of you making too much.

And Nat, well, she is your mentor, close friend and like an older sister all at once. Sadly she isn't home that often. After she and Bruce broke up, they both started to avoid gatherings. It's a shame, they were really cute together but it was just not meant to be.

Nat goes for rides on her bike every day, goes on hikes, joggs in the park, sometimes even goes camping... Just anything outside and away from the tower, from Bruce.

'You shouldn't run away from your problems Y/n, I tried it and I must report, they are always faster than you.', she used to tell you when you first arrived. But it seems she cannot take her own advice.

You text a bit with her, asking if it all went well. Since their mission is connected to yours, you are pretty interested in it all. The group is called 'Serpent', apparently a branch from Hydra. She tells you it went pretty well but that they are exhausted, well at least she is. The other two, being a super soldier and a god, could have kept going.

Sometimes it's really unfair to be surrounded by so many super humans, mutants and even gods. You just cannot keep up with them. Clint, Nat and you are always the ones that wind up in the medwing. If the others do, you know it must have been bad.

After some time you check up on the food and decide it's ready.

Getting yourself a plate you sit down at the kitchen island. You humm tasting your creation, just how you wanted it. So you sit there with your phone watching some funny videos and eat. Well, after some time you fall down a rabbit hole and totally forget eating. Damn the internet being so addictive.

You feel somebody walking past you and nearly fall off the bar stool.

"I smelled food.", Loki states flatly as he watches you in amusement, trying to steady yourself again. "Yea, I made some chicken noodle soup, have some if you want.", you explain, pausing the video, looking back at him. He plates himself some and sits down next to you at the island.

With your heart thundering against your chest, you look over to him. You notice small details about him you haven't discovered just yet. Like how silky his hair looks from up close and how each hair is curled in its own way. Or the small pinpoint scars around his lips. You are really curious about them, but decide not to ask such a question the first time you see him out his room.

He tries the first spoon full a little wary, then his eyes jump down to look at his bowl. He takes a second spoonful and the corner of his lips twitch up ever so slightly. You smirk to yourself knowing he likes it, even if he won't admit it, seeing his reaction is enough to be proud of yourself.

Continuing to eat you think about the last few weeks; you rarely ever saw Loki eat. Is he too proud or did nobody tell him there won't be people cooking for him? "I bet it isn't easy to live without maids and staff all of a sudden?"

He scowls at you, slowly laying down his spoon.

You sigh, "I didn't mean it like that.".

Why must you always mess up at moments like these? You really just wanted to have a conversation with him, you are teammates after all, you should at least be able to talk to another.

Your appetite vanishes. You get up and clean your bowl, sensing his eyes glaring daggers at your back. Feeling a need to flee this situation, you decide to bring Bruce a bowl of soup. Two birds with one stone.

You take a bowl full and grab your phone from the counter, seeing Loki give you a suspicious side eye. "I'm sorry. I didn't think that question through.", you mumble, leaving the room.

Very mature, you think to yourself, fleeing like a coward.

Out of there, you take a deep breath. Get a grip Y/n.

After the fiasco with Loki you went to Bruce and brought him the soup. He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn't even hear Jarvis announce to you entering the lab. Only when you slid the bowl into his line of vision did he snap out of his own mind.

"Oh god, thank you Y/n. You shouldn't have, that's too nice of you.", Bruce looks at you with those innocent deer eyes of his. You almost pull a pout at how adorable he is.

"Please... did you even eat anything yet?", you ask him sternly. "What time is it?"

You look at your phone, "Quarter to 5.". He hisses, you narrow your eyes, "Bruce?". "Yea I haven't eaten since, well, since yesterday actually.", he stammered. You sigh, "I couldn't say I was surprised. I haven't seen you out of here since the space royalty arrived. I think even a fire wouldn't get you out of here!". He ruffles his hair, closing his eyes, "You're right, it's just... It's been a couple of rough weeks.".

You pat his shoulder in sympathy, pulling a chair for him to sit, "I know, it's been for both of you, but you can't hide in here for all eternity. Now sit down and eat the soup while it's still warm.". He sits down and smiles at the taste, "This is delicious. Thank you, truly. I think I would have starved already if it wasn't for your kind heart.".

"You could do one thing for me then."

"Yes?"

"Live a little. Go walk in the park, take a vacation or get a new hobby. But please, just leave this lab for a while, the whole tower at best."

He pauses and looks at you, smiling sadly, "I will try."

"And for god's sake, sleep. Please. You have whole universes of circles under your eyes.", you snort in gallows humor.

"But I can't. Everytime I do I just dream of her. How it could have been..."

"Bruce I swear on all I've got, I will tell Jar to shut out your power at exactly midnight if I have to. You're a doctor, you know well enough that sleep isn't something you can just not do."

He sighs, "Of course you're right. It's just-"

"No! I know it all sucks a lot right now but you will sleep tonight! No if's or but's!", you order.

"Yes ma'am.", he looks at you like a kid that just got grounded. "Why do I have to act like a mother for so many of earth's mightiest heroes?", you ask yourself out loud, earning a chuckle from Bruce. Well at least he can laugh again.

After some time, Bruce noticed how exhausted he was. Short attention span, how hard it was to have any actual interest in his work and how heavy his limbs feel. He decided to take an Ambien, figuring what helped Tony with his insomnia and nightmares would surely work for him too.

You stayed with him for a while and listened to his struggles and internal battles. Also about work of course.

About an hour later Jarvis announced the return of Thor and Nat which is why Bruce urged you to go meet them. Naturally you asked him to come along but he just isn't quite there yet. Nat probably isn't ready for it either.

Back in the living room, you find a defeated Nat in a puddle on the sofa. Well, almost in a puddle but she definitely looks finished.

Thor however walks around the room, blaring his triumph and raiding the kitchen cabinets.

"You could just eat some soup, you know. I made it this afternoon." He turns around and opens his arms, "Y/n! How are you doing this fine day?" You walk over accepting his embrace, squeaking at how tightly he hugs you.

You talk about your day as they eat some soup when the mishap with Loki comes up. "I just didn't think it through. I shouldn't have asked him that. I said sorry but I don't think he cared for it.", you sigh heavily. Nat shakes her head, "Oh just let him stay mad, he will get over it.". "I don't know the way I fled the scene... It was not very mature.", you remember, ashamed. "Well, he probably didn't thank you for the soup either, did he? Just give him some time, I think you two will get along at some point."

"You must forgive my brother, he has had a hard time. It was never easy for him in new environments, especially not here.", Thor explains. Nat nods in understanding, "Yea, I bet he isn't too stoked about staying with the people he tried to kill and that tried to kill him. I wouldn't trust us either." Thor nods hesitantly, "You're right, but it's not just that. He takes a long time to trust. It lies in past experiences." You knit your brows, "What do you mean by that?"

"I fear I said too much already, it really is not my place to tell. If you want to find out, you must ask him.", he puts down his empty bowl on the table, crossing his arms.

Now you are just more confused, but also twice as intrigued. The only thing left to do is befriend him. One could call that task mission impossible. Getting the god of mischief with godly trust issues to trust you, an ally of his past enemies... It could prove to be a challenge, but you are up for one.

A bit of work talk turned into personal talk. Thor talked about his once again relationship with his beloved Jane. It's a wonder his eyes didn't become heart-shaped.

Nat talked about new additions to her bike and about a beautiful mountain she camped on a few days ago.

And you talked about past pranks the chaos four, Clint, Scott, Sam and you, pulled. Mostly on Tony. It's just too fun to mess with him since he won't punish anybody.

You made the grave mistake to doodle on Caps shield once and you paid the price in 5 am jogging. For two weeks straight, mission or day off, it did not matter. You wont make that mistake again.

Pranks and missions are pretty much the only things you can talk about. There just... isn't anything else to talk about, since you don't have too many friends, outside of work.

You parted around midnight, exhaustion hitting Nat and you like a truck.

The last thing on your mind before falling asleep was;

Loki Laufeyson, I will crack your shell. Even if it takes me a lifetime.

Tags for tbmaw: @fictive-sl0th @vbecker10 @fictional-hooman @mischief2manage @maple-seed @mochie85 @holdmytesseract @theaudacitytowrite @gigglingtigger @marygoddessofmischief @goblingirlsarah @oceandeepthirst @lokisgoodgirl @fallenlostarchives @kalinaselennespeaks @sid-prescottx @assemblingavenger @loki-n-hvitserk @crzyplantladyvibes

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The review of yesterdays mission went differently than you thought. Your emotional outburst wasnt even mentioned, the thing that actually took up most of the meeting was Loki and Thors absence.

"Ok guys. I'm really starting to worry now. What if they ran?", Cap sighs. "It surely wouldnt look good when mentioned to Fury, thats for sure.", Nat says bluntly. Tony leans back in his seat with a cocky but sour expression, "Would it be too soon for an 'I told you so!'?". "Oh come on, do you really have no faith in them? There is no reason why they'd have to run after that mission, THEY," you emphasize, "made no mistakes. I'm sure they will be back soon.", you try to defend them even though you start to worry yourself. "You do know who we are talking about, right?", Clint raises one sceptical eyebrow.

The meeting was thankfully cut short. Without the brothers, you couldn't possibly remember everything that went down, especially since you were zoned out though most of the mission. It made no sense to continue without them.

Just as you threw yourself on the sofa with some pasta, you heard the elevator ding and the booming voice of Thor. "Hello there Y/n. How are you feeling?", Thor greets you with a hug. He smells odd, like an old basement, smoke and dust. Sceptically, you hug him back. "Welcome back. I'm feeling much better thank you. I think you should speak to Cap though. Your solo operation has caused quite the drama.", you grin, patting his shoulder. Thor sighs and turns back around to the elevator, "Norns, they really have no trust in me. I will speak to them, thank you Meddy."

Meanwhile Loki sat down on the sofa eyeing your food. You now eye him eyeing your food. And suddenly your eyes meet as his green ones snap up at yours. You hold his gaze, "If you want you can take some pasta you know. I bet your hungry after being gone that long.". He scoffs, "Correct. A thank you would be in order.".

He must be shitting you, right?!

"Excuse me, what? What am I surpossed to thank you for? Your solo trip? Ive had to listen to the others complain all day because of that!", you agressively fork your pasta. "Yes, precisely, it was to help you! Hel if Shield knew about it I'd rot in a cell for all of eternity!", his voice raises and his arms cross. "Ok, rewind. Lets start over. Where were you and what did you two do?", you stop eating and pause your show. "And why should I tell you?", Loki teases. You scoff, "So I know what I am surpossed to thank you for of course." So he started to explain.

"After Thor and I brought you to the tower, we did not hand that imbecile over to Shield or any other authorities. We took matters into our own hands.", he says with a proud smirk. "What did you- did you kill him?", you ask nervously. "Ultimately yes, but do you remember for how long we were gone?" Oh god. Oh fuck. "Ages, what like 16 hours? The others were getting nervous you somehow escaped Thor or something.", you nervously bounce your leg. "As expected... But no actually, we took our time to extract every bit of information regarding the weapons from him. Lets just say healing is a big asset in torture.", his eyes glimmer bright green as his grin becomes almost devilish. "I dont think I understand...", or more like, dont want to. "We hurt him as badly as we wanted, he couldnt die. I just healed him any time he came close.", he states flatly. "Oh my god-", your breath catches in your throat. "You're welcome. So, dont worry about him anymore and- This stays between us, officially we had to kill him when we first arrived at the warehouse." "Noted."

An awkward silence fell over the room when you sigh heavily, "Look, I am deeply ashamed over my emotional outburst yesterday. Could we maybe just forget about it? Please?". His eyes flutter as he gives you a once over, then the faintest of smiles crosses his lips, "I dont even know what you are talking about, Agent.". Did my nether regions just clench-

Oh lord-

Your cheeks blush as you clear your throat and nod, "Very well, thank you.".

After that, the problem got solved with Thor telling the team they just followed a lead on a location possibly holding even more weapons. And that wasnt even a lie since they did destroy the remaining weapons they found out about in the torture. So the weeks went on.

Loki became kind of weird. Well, weird for Loki. He started talking to you, randomly and not just in necessary situations. Never anything personal really, but still. But today really topped it all off.

You went to the common room to grab some cold water after your training but insted were greeted with the dark haired god sitting on the sofa, reading an ancient looking book.

"So, Medusa, interesting. I have to admit, I have been thinking what could be linked to such an extraordinary name. There has to be a story behind it.", Loki asks, weirdly curious all of a sudden. You take a few blinks to realize he actually asked you about something personal. "Uh, I cant tell you.", you say a bit too distracted by the tight shirt he is wearing. He tilts his head, raven locks revealing his neck, "Oh do tell darling.". D-darling? You feel heat rising to your cheeks, beeing an assasin you usually dont get nice pet names from others. And coming from Loki? You got butterflies from only that. Oh, youre in trouble...

You shake your head, "No, I mean I really cant tell you, I would if I could.". Now you just fired up his curiousity even more. Damn. That was not your intention but forming words, let alone logical sentences, isnt that easy right now. He sits up, propping his elbows on his thighs, brows tightly knitted trying to figure out what you mean. You planned on going to your room, but you wont walk away from the god of mischief asking you something other than work related. You sit down too, grabbing a pillow from the couch. "Would you please be so kind and elaborate a bit further.", he looks over to you with his brows still furrowed. You sigh, a little louder than you intended, "It is rather complicated I guess. I was captured by Hydra. As you may know, they have inhumane and horrible ways to make people complay. They erased my memorie, wiped us, as my fellow captured and I used to say. I just know that I was 16 when it started, was an assasin pre hydra, my real name is y/n l/n and my cover name Medusa. Those are the informations I have.", you explain as shortly as you can.

His gaze over you shifts a little, its an expression you have never seen before. Not on him at least. He looks as if he has empathy for you?

"That is a rather troublesome past, I appreciate you telling me. However, I still have one more question if you dont mind." Now you furrow your brows, what is there left unanswered? You quickly cover your confusion. Force of habit.

"Oh well, it is what it is. What else do you want to know?", you play cool but lose your shit internally. He nods, "I presume you have not just made that name up, so if there is, I would like to ask the backstory to the name itself." Oh, well thats innocent enough. Still your heart races. Its a subject you spent many sleepless nights over. A weak spot. You know damn well what Medusa is a symbol for, but you dont know if that was your Inspiration too.

"Oh, I see, of course you dont know about that myth. Well, it is really hard to explain since there are a lot of other events that led up to her story. You like to read, right?", you ask him with a shy smile. Maybe you can make him research it on his own. Save yourself the heartache of overthinking again. He raised his brows in a playful manner, holding up the book in his hand, "I would say 'like' is an understatement, but yes. I do.". You huff out a laugh, "Then you probably found the library already. Look for books on greek mythology. My summary would lack a lot of important context." "I have a lot of time on my hands, how about both? Tell me roughly and I will read up on it later.", he smiles sheepishly. It seems luck is not on your side today, so you give a small nod and get it over with.

"There are many versions of her story. However the one I think is my Inspiration, which is not the original but also is mentioned in a few books, is Medusa beeing a priestress to Athena, the goddess of wisdom and battle. The women serving her had to remain virgins and give their life to her. Because of Medusas beauty, the god of sea, Poseidon, took interest in her. Athena and Poseidon were rivals, so he used Medusa to get back at Athena. He humiliated Athena by raping Medusa on the steps of her temple.", you stopped for a second to swallow the lump forming in your throat. "That is a rather gruesome story.", Loki mumbles, not having expected for the story to get that dark, that quickly. You swallow your fears and continue quickly. "Oh yes, but its not over. Poseidon left his victim on the steps, now any normal thinking beeing would expect for Athena to help Medusa." He nods. "That was however not the case, Medusa got cursed by Athena and banished to a far away island. She now looked like an abomination, eyes of stone, chicken legs, metal wings and hair made of snakes. Any beeing who would look upon her would turn to stone. Men traveled the island, chasing and trying to kill her. At some point, her fear turned to anger, she took her revenge on all the men that tried to harm her, turning them to stone. The only way those men could be freed was if Perseus, son of Zeus, beheaded her. As that day came, her blood gave birth to Pegasus, the winged horse, and Chrysaor. Athena used Medusas head as a trophy on her shield, protecting against her enemies. The rest of medusas body was layed to rest in the underworld."

You shifted into story telling mode, like you did when you looked after Clints kids once.

"That... You mortals sure have a lot of fantasy for storys like this. Do you think-", he stops, looking up at you, knowing exactly what he is trying to ask. The universe really hates you, your throat closing from surpressing the feeling daring to take over. "That is the question Ive had for years now. I dont know. I dont know if I want to know. I guess it would make sense if I... sympathized with that character. God, I dont know.", you exhaled deeply, gathering yourself. Its hard to talk about this topic, the uncertenty has been eating away at you ever since you rediscovered the story of Medusa. "You do not know, so it is best not to worry. It wont do any good either way. Is this, greek I think you said, mythology an interest of yours?" "Kind of, yes. I have read a lot about it since researching about my name, its really interesting. Confusing sometimes, but very capturing. I suggest you read about Pandora too, its a very fascinating story. Another one is the story of Icarus.", you smile, knowing he purposefully changed the subject. But you are unspeakably grateful he did. "Sounds promising, thank you for the suggestions.", he smiles warmly. You smile and slowly get up. "I have a date with my bed now, I'm exhausted. Have fun reading." "Pleasent dreams, Y/N.", he gives you a nod.

You bite your cheek as you turn around and leave the room. Your knees weak and hands shaky.

You just dont know if you feel this way because of the uncomfortable topic or because of who you were speaking to. All you know is that your in for a ride.

You just know it.

Tbmaw: @fictive-sl0th @vbecker10 @fictional-hooman @mischief2sarawr @maple-seed @mochie85 @holdmytesseract @theaudacitytowrite @gigglingtiggerv2 @marygoddessofmischief @goblingirlsarah @oceandeepthirst @lokisgoodgirl @fallenlostarchives @kalinaselennespeaks @sid-prescottx @assemblingavenger @loki-n-hvitserk @crzyplantladyvibes @yoongissidebitchh @cakesandtom

Everything: @slytherclaw1227 @their-love @vickie5446 @buttercupcookies-blog @peaches1958

Out of all the times to have a panic attack, it had to be today. Out on a mission. The first one with Loki. Out of all the bad guys it could have been, why one that apparently knows you.

Was it true?

The things that guy said, were they true? Were your fears justified after all? You rack your brain until you can no more, a pounding headache telling you to stop. With a groan you sit down in the shower and let the water ground you further.

What led you to sitting in your shower, questioning life once again and feeling beyond humiliated, was a meeting. The biggest you have attended since the one voting you as an official Avenger. It was the same for Loki. All Avengers were required to attend said meeting. Apart from Wanda and Vision who were excused since they were fighting terrorists on the other half of the planet. Even some high ranked Agents, such as Hill and Coulson, were there. Not to mention the armada of security.

Somehow the date and details got leaked and the outcome was frightening. They stormed the whole first floor of the tower, the street was packed full of paparazzi and news teams. Even the next door buildings were full of them as they attempted to film into the briefing room. Poor Happy was so stressed. His nemesis Bert was right next door, leaning out the window from the building next to the tower. When Happy spotted him, he almost ripped the window off its hinges.

"Bert! I see you Bert!", he yelled and threw a stapler after him but Bert just closed the window and continued taking pictures, "Bert you son of a bitch!", he growled and stormed off. Steve already opened his mouth but Sam clapped his shoulder, "Dont test him. I think he's about ready to snap. The kid's not here anyway.".

The actual meeting started when Fury arrived. It was rather boring until it came to the votes. You shot Loki a few glances, he looked very disinterested and like he would rather not see all these people.

Despite the not so great interactions with him that far, you voted for him. Anything else would have been rather childish, he is a good asset after all.

Clint, Tony, Maria and Phil voted against it, which is fair enough you figured. Fury was holding off on voting as was Steve. Thor, Scott, Sam, Bruce and Nat voted for him. Bruce said he believes Loki’s story that he was indeed not in control of his actions and that he deserves this opportunity to show who he really is. Nat gave the reason that she'd be a hypocrite if she didn't give him the same opportunity she got, trying to wipe out the red of her ledger. Thor was an obvious yes, vouching for Loki repeatedly and assuring he will keep an eye on his brother.

Loki seemed surprised that so many actually believe in him and give him a chance. Bruce's words especially let his eyes soften. But of course, only for the briefest of moments.

The votes have decided, Loki is an official Avenger now but is to be accompanied by Thor since he could handle him. Just in case. Of course Loki was not happy about that restriction and tried to bargain, but with Fury making that decision, there was no arguing.

Before anybody could flee the room, Steve announced a training session with everybody. Since it was the first time the whole new squad was gathered. Even though you were painfully annoyed at him, it was important.

Working as a team and being able to trust each individual team member is essential for the functioning of this unique combined force. And it was only half as bad as you expected it to be.

You had one revelation; Loki fighting with his magic and not just daggers was truly a sight to behold. The concentrated clench of his jaw, the raven hair falling into his sweaty face as green wisps of magic swirled around him were nothing short of breathtaking.

Magic in general was fascinating to you.

Wanda used to show you what she can do and distract you from your wandering thoughts while she still lived at the tower. Both of you were in a dark place, mentally, and those late nights of laying on the rooftop, bundled up in blankets as red magic formed whole movies of pictures above you were essential to your new life. It was the start of you letting go of the past and embracing the present and future, even if the trauma and sadness never fully disappeared. She was no different, the loss she experienced pained her deeply and both of you agreed, it never fully goes away, but it gets better. For her, meeting and falling in love with Vision was a big step in letting go of the past. Which made you a lot more anxious since you never took a chance when it came to romance.

But that's a train of thought for another night.

After the meeting and training, nothing interesting happened, until yesterday when Steve called Thor, Loki and you to an office. It was brought to your attention that you will go on a mission the next day, alongside the godly brothers. He explained that usually, it would have been Thor and you, but since Loki needs to get out on the field, it was the perfect opportunity.

The mission sounded simple; clear out a warehouse full of hydra weapons. It already turned out to be a challenge when Steve told you that a cartel had spotted it first, so you had to deal with a warehouse full of armed mobsters.

Nobody could have prepared you for the actual problem though.

The journey there was nothing unusual, Thor and you blabbered about everything and nothing as Loki sat on the seat furthest away from you two. You pulled up the chopper and landed it on a field. After Thor got out the layout of the warehouse, you discussed the way to approach this mission. The brothers went to the back entry while you focus on the main entrance.

Your ways parted and the coms were turned on. Loading your gun, you sneaked inside, taking cover behind a wall. Silently, you knocked out two of them as they were trying to go outside. "Took out two.", you whispered into the mic. "We have eyes on five of them.", Thor answered. "Good, keep an eye on them, I will try to move further." "Understood."

Slowly, you sneaked closer, taking out another one that spotted you. "I'm in the main room, took out one more along the way.", you confirmed. "Perfect. The group remains unaware." Just as you were about to answer, a big dude walks out of a small sideroom. You were worried about this exact thing. "Who do we have here? Y/n L/n, better known as Medusa. You have made quite the fuss over that one time.", he smirks with silver teeth. You scrutinized him, trying to make sense of his words. Trying to remember him since he obviously knows you.

You heard asgardian armours creaking behind, the boys got ready for action. They knew something was wrong since you did not roger the last information. The dude looked over his shoulder briefly before looking back at you. "So it is true, you don't have any memory of the past. It's a shame, you were rather good.", he chuckled.

Every muscle in your body went rigid, his words made the hair on the back of your neck stand up. Your biggest fear, set ablaze in the middle of a mission. "Y/n, do you know this guy?", Thor laid a hand on your shoulder which made you flinch.

You looked at him, mirroring his shocked expression.

"I- No, I.. Thor I don't remember.", your lip quivered, your heart thundered against your ribs. Your body went into freeze mode. You saw and heard everything, a gun clicking and being pointed in your face, heavy steps echoed through the big storage room, but you just couldn't move. The next few moments are a blur, your panic and fear overtook you as Loki disarmed the man, Thor knocked two who came running out the side. You crumpled to the floor, pulling your knees to your chest, wheezing. It feelt like the floor was swallowing you, your body in the constant motion of falling. Breathing got harder and harder, your lungs felt too big for your body. Everything felt out of place, the wrong size and your ears were ringing painfully loud.

It was clear to you that you had to calm down, that you were hyperventilating, but you couldn't snap out of it. The questions were crushing you like a bug.

Where does he know you from?

Why do you know a person like him?

"..y/n... calm down-..."

What did he mean?

"...need to breathe... hey!"

Did he..?

You winced at the hand meeting your knee, drawing them even closer, which wasn't really possible.

"Y/n. What is the matter?" Thor's voice made it through to you. You weakly lifted your head to look at him, holding your breath in shock instead of breathing too fast. He looked worried. "You are shaking. Y/n, what is wrong?", he observed and rubbed your upper arms in an attempt to warm you. Poor innocent Thor. You couldn't help but let a broken sob escape you, the humiliation of the situation settling in.

You just had a panic attack.

In the middle of a mission.

While a gun was pointed at you.

In front of not only Thor but also Loki, who you haven't even properly talked to. He can't stand you already, this will only make it worse.

"Talk to me. Are you hurt?", Thor asked softly while rubbing your knee in a comforting manner. You shook your head, burying it back between your knees.

"You have to breathe Agent.", the low baritone of the dark prince made your stomach flip. You squeezed your eyes shut, but you could still see the guy in front of you. Article after article of your research about your nickname. You already had it before Haydra took you, so you forgot its origin. When you got taken in by the others, you started researching Medusa and her history. What you found started your fears. The fear that your younger self sympathized with that character for a particular reason.

"Agent.", his voice rang in your ears again. Only then did you realize you were breathing rapidly again, mouth opened to take bigger gasps. The words from the guy echoed in your mind, trying to block them out, you pressed your palms flat to your ears, but it was no use. They were just as loud.

You yelped when you suddenly felt a hand press on your mouth, another pried your hand from one of your ears. "Deep breaths, come on. Breath in for four." You looked at him panicked but he kept a stern expression, "Through your nose, breathe in for four seconds. Now.". You did as you were told, despite counting being harder than it should have been. "Hold for seven.", he removed his hand from your mouth, the grip on your wrist grew softer. After seven seconds he said, "Now out of your mouth for eight."

You repeated the whole process once more and followed every step as you felt your heart rate slow down. You hesitantly opened your eyes and saw Loki in front of you, his eyes were filled with something you identified as deprecation. " 'm sorry", you mumbled as you chewed your cheek.

Out of all the people and out of all days, it had to be when he joined in.

"No need to be sorry, just keep breathing. 4 7 8.", he let go of you completely but his watch on your form got more intense.

As you kept breathing, the guys took care of the rest. The walk back to the chopper was silent. You let Thor fly while you sat back and thought about everything that went wrong. And every possibility on how that dude knew you. Occasionally Thor checked in with you and you half heartedly confirmed your well being. Loki brought you some water and sat back in the cockpit. You gulped that water down like a thirsty camel.

The worry never stopped though.

With all those mobsters, including the one that attacked you, in the back of the chopper, you didn't feel very safe. Even though Loki put a spell on all of them, keeping them unconscious as long as needed.

After a flight that felt like an eternity, you arrived back home and made a quick exit straight to your room. A hot shower was what you needed.

Unbeknownst to you, Thor and Loki took off again after handing over most of the suspects. Except one.

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