#tbem

Here is the thing. Steve is aware that it was his fault. It was his fault for being so self-obsessed. It was his fault for being a bad boyfriend. It was his fault for ignoring his girlfriend when all she wanted to do was to talk with him. It was his fault for being a bad fucking person even though he told himself time and time again that he would finally change.

So he can't really fault Nancy for cheating on him. She found someone better - someone who didn't hurt others for fun, someone who understood her needs and could actually meet them, someone who actually deserved her. She simply had had enough brain to realize that - of course she had, nobody could say that Nancy Wheeler wasn't smart - and enough self-respect to take the opportunity when it arose. He couldn't be mad at her for that. Sure, it would've been nice of her to break up in a different way. Sooner, probably, and not drunk enough for her words to slur into each other. But he knows that he doesn't have any right to complain. It is what he deserves, after all.

Here is another thing Steve is aware of: the supernatural is real.

The discovery wasn't all too surprising, more like the confirmation of something he'd been too scared to properly acknowledge until he couldn't deny it anymore. Hawkins and the supernatural have been closely intertwined for as long as anyone can remember, and everyone who lives here has no choice but to be somewhat aware of it.

There are people who try to deny it, of course. The town has a horrifying history of buried disappearances and mangled unexplained corpses that nobody talks about. More often than not a case will run cold instead of being solved. Officially there are kidnappers and serial killers loose, but nobody searches too hard, and in the end it doesn't matter whether that truly is the case. After all, there is nothing the chief can do against the supernatural, even if he were to acknowledge it. Sometimes it's just easier to live in denial.

Most things are easy to ignore or to write off. A sudden epidemic of lost pens and books and loose change? Children are so irresponsible nowadays. When the same problem extends to locker doors and an entire statue? Well, if you live in Hawkins, you develop a talent for looking the other way.

Steve's parents are firm deniers of the supernatural. If they had spent more time with him, maybe he wouldn't believe in it either. But they didn't. Maybe they felt that there was something wrong - something other - in Hawkins, and they wanted to get as far away from it as possible. It is not like the reason matters. Fact is, Steve had always been on the fence when it comes to that kind of stuff and had decided early on that it's better to be safe than sorry. So he kept his ears open.

Rumor has it that if you step on the fourth step of the stairs near the art room you will be sent to another dimension. Welp, he is going to pay a bit closer attention to where he steps. The spirits of dead students will haunt you if you are in the school library at 23 o'clock. What can he say, he has never been much of a bookworm anyway. Worst case scenario, he slightly inconvenienced himself for nothing. Best case scenario...well.

He can't say he didn't feel a bit vindicated when he saw the monster attacking Nancy and Jonathan.

But the supernatural is insatiable and greedy. Once you have stepped into its grasp, it does not want to let you go. That was when Steve had understood that the denial was a safety mechanism, that sometimes it is better for you and everyone around you if you just don't look too close. Unfortunately it was way too late for him by the time he had had that particular realization.

But still, he tried. Fuck had he tried. He was even more overly cautious of where he stepped and he still refused to go to the school library no matter the time and he still always kept an ear out for any new rumors that might arise. And yet he always managed to become entangled in one thing or another. A week where he doesn't step foot into the netherworld (or upside-down, as the kids call it) is rarer than ones he does, and as soon as he saw his first supernatural creature they suddenly were everywhere. It is kind of horrifying how many live amongst them without anyone noticing.

And now, here he is. Actively seeking out the supernatural. On his own. He didn't even tell anyone so they know to send backup if he doesn't return. If this is where he dies, there is nobody else to blame.

He probably would feel disappointed in himself if he was able to feel anything at all at the moment. This truly would be a very stupid and very preventable way to die. As things are, he doesn't feel anything at all as he makes sure nobody can see him. Neither as he enters the old girls bathroom with the mold everyone does their best to avoid. He also doesn't feel anything as the creaking door of the last stall falls closed behind him, or when he calls for the spirit. He doesn't even feel anything when the spirit doesn't respond and he is just a desperate boy standing around in a moldy female bathroom.

He does feel something when a cold hand suddenly appears on his shoulder.

Here is the thing about humans. They can get used to anything, no matter how ludicrous, if only it happens often enough. Had this been his first brush with the supernatural, he probably would've screamed. Had this only been his second or third time, he probably wouldn't be calm enough to really take in the hand that suddenly materialized behind him. He probably wouldn't have noticed all the rings adorning those slender fingers, as there isn't a difference in temperature between the cold skin and the cold metal. He probably wouldn't have seen that the black nails were only painted and were lightly chipped at places. He probably wouldn't have taken a second to admire how elegant and slender the hand is.

Admittedly, even he is a bit taken aback when he actually turns around. And here he thought he'd seen it all.

"Look, no offence, but aren't you like....supposed to be a girl?"

The spirit, who despite the long hair and bold black makeup is definitely not a girl, seems annoyed with him. It would've been more terrifying if Steve hadn't had multiple spirits try to kill him and come disturbingly close to it before.

"Hey, I'm not the only one who shouldn't be in the girls' bathroom right now, so like, shut the fuck up."

Steve sighs. Perverted and rude. What a fucking jackpot.

"Okay, look. Clearly we both are feeling weird about being here." Even though this is apparently your chosen resting place, he doesn't add. He does still need a favor from the guy. "So like, could we maybe continue this conversation in the hallway? Or at least in the boys' bathroom? I do admittedly feel a bit better at not being the only boy in the female bathroom, but it's still kind of, well... weird, ya know?"

Without a word the ghost turns around floats through the door. Steve takes that as his sign to follow him. The ghost doesn't talk and it takes him some time to realize where the other is leading him. The library. How long has it been since he last was here?

He doesn't know if it is abnormal for the library to be completely empty at this time of the day, but he will probably feel safer if he doesn't ask.

"You aren't a very good little student, you know?"

Steve is growing consistently more concerned. The rumors talked about a girl. Not a boy that can magically know your grades. Oh god, maybe he wanted to take him here so he could force him to study. Now that would be a true nightmare.

"No, I don't mean it like that, oh my god. But it makes sense, I guess. You are already pretty and brave, it would be unfair if you were smart, too-"

"Hey!"

"No. I meant that normally when a student succesfully summons me and I deem them worthy enough to be blessed by my presence."

And what a fucking blessing that is.

"They get so scared they run away before they even can make their wish. I'm pretty sure this is the most chill conversation I have ever had with another living person."

"That includes the time you were alive, too?"

"Ha ha ha, very funny. So, what is your wish, my knight in shining armor? Remembering that flattery will get you very far."

Steve can feel the way his face falls in on itself when he remembers the entire reason for this foolhardy plan. This spirit in front of him is so different from any other supernatural being he's met before, much less bloodthirsty or malicous. It's stupid, but for a moment he almost thought they could maybe be...friends. Which is such a dumb thought and definitely way more unrealistic than ghosts. Evidence A, the of yet unnamed ghost floating right in front of him.

"Hey, what is actually your name?"

"That your wish?"

"I- No?! Why would I call upon a wish-granting spirit only to wish to know her- his name and then never talk to him again?!"

"You never want to see me again? Now that's rude. How 'bout that: tell me your name first"

"I asked first"

"YOU are the one who wants something from ME, sweetie. I don't think you are the one with the upper hand in this situation"

Steve sighs. As much as he wants to deny it, the unnamed spirit in front of him is telling the truth. (He ignores the shiver down his spine at the pet name. Nancy had never been a fan of those.) "Steve. Steve Harrington."

"Steve Harrington." The spirit takes his time, savoring every syllable. "If that isn't the fucking most suburban-conservative-little-town-in-the-Midwest name I've ever heard. Well Stevie, you may call me Hanako"

"But Hanako is your title. Not your name."

"That is indeed the truth, darling. You really shouldn't undersell your intelligence like that-"

"I fucking didn't, you just assumed-"

"you are the first one to actually realize that. Unfortunately for you, you haven't unlocked this information yet-"

"like some fucking nerd game?!"

"OR told me your wish. Which is why you are here. Which is why everyone is here, even if you were much better at smalltalk than most. So? I'm all ears for you, big boy."

And now that the time has finally come - with surprisingly little bloodshed or near-death-events, even - his throat closes up. He knows he wants to do it. Needs to do it. He knows that it isn't fair, that it is a just punishment he should shoulder like a man, that he deserves every drop of pain and regret and more, that making a deal with the supernatural always has a price. But the thought of continuing to live with this numbness weighting him down doesn't seem feasible.

He tries to tell himself that it isn't so bad. After all, it's not like he is doing anything to Nancy or Jonathan. Hell, this would actually somewhat help them.

But it is a scary thought. Loving Nancy has become so ingrained into his DNA, he can't imagine who he will become without it. Isn't even sure if he wants to know this Steve.

Still. The choice to search out a supernatural being on his own was not one he had taken lightly, and now it is too late to turn back anyway.

"I- I want to stop having feelings for Nancy."

"...Nancy being?"

"My girlf-, my ex-girlfriend." Silence. "She, she found someone better than me. Someone who actually deserves her. I just...need a bit of help to move on."

"And...you are sure you don't want to make this Nancy just fall in love with you instead? That is what most people ask for, you know?"

"She gave me way too many speeches about feminism and agency for me to ever do this to her. I...I already messed up enough. Already made her suffer enough. More than enough. She and Jonathan...yeah. I don't think she's ever looked at me the way she looks at him. The way I still look at her. So. Uhm please? Your hair is very...very...wavy. Like, good wavey."

More silence. Steve needs to force himself not to open his mouth again. Maybe his heart wrenching speech just needs a bit more time to settle in.

"I am a bit disappointed, you know?"

"Excuse me?!" He crosses his arms and can almost physically feel himself slipping into babysitter-mode "And what, pray tell, do you mean by that?"

"I mean that every-fucking-time someone calls me it's because of some stupid love shit, yanno? It gets kind of boring. You were the first one who actually bothered with some small talk so i was just hoping for something more interesting I guess. Like, just throwing some ideas out there, have you ever thought about world domination? Like, I didn't really have the time of my life here - pun intended. And I think it would be really fun. Soooo....how about it?"

"Soooo....how about no?"

"Not even if you can take this Nancy as your badass feminist queen and I allow her to be part of our awesome world-dominating partnership? Or well, trio in this case. That Jonathan dude can come, too, if he insists."

Steve does not deem this outlandish suggestion with an answer. Hanako sighs and looks so much like a kicked puppy that Steve almost feels bad for not attempting world domination with him.

"Okay. Look. Can I tell you a secret?"

He raises a brow. "Can I stop you?"

Hanako also tries to raise only one brow and fails. Steve graciously let's it go - he is kind of dependent on the guy right now, no matter how ridiculous he is being.

"You are my favorite so far, okay."

"Aw. I thought spirits weren't supposed to have one favorite victim?"

"Thin fucking ice, Harrington. Just- listen to me when I say that love isn't worth it. Feelings are either fabricated and can never be as genuine as the real deal, or they just go away on their own. Time heals all wounds or whatever", he looks down at his own half-transparent hands. "Or, well, most wounds."

He looks back up and stares Steve directly into the eyes. And like, he knew that Hanako's eyes were brown. But damn were they brown. And warm. And big. If you were to look up "doe-eyed" in the dictionary, the definition would be a photo of the look the guy is giving him right now. Almost makes him reconsider the world-domination idea.

"Deals with the supernatural always have a price. Are you completely and a hundred percent sure that it's worth it?"

And Steve stops. He knew how dangerous the supernatural could be, had seen the ridiculous prizes people paid. How the other side twisted and turned their pleas and wishes just so they could laugh at those stupid and desperate enough to ask for powers beyond their control. He thought that he had made peace with it, thought he had been ready to pay whatever Hanako demanded from him. But now that the spirit himself is warning him...

"It may seem like life or death right now, but it always does in the moment"

And Steve sighs. He knows what the right thing to do is and he knows it would be more than stupid not to take this surprisingly friendly spirit on his chance to walk away.

But he already knew that before he went to the bathroom stall. And it hurts so fucking bad sometimes the weight on his chest makes it hard to breathe.

"What-"he licks his lips, hates how his voice breaks, "What would you suggest instead?"

"Master! Master! Master of puppets is pulling your strings,,,,,dundundundun"

Steve feels almost sorry for whoever wrote this song. They don't deserve the pure burning hatred he feels for them considering he has never actually listened to it properly. Who knows, maybe he would've liked it if he had had a less atrocious introduction to it.

"MASTER! MASTER! Just call my name cuz I'll hear you scream! Master! Master!'

Hanako continues his riveting one-man performance. He slaps the teacher's butt when she turns around to write on the blackboard. She doesn't notice, of course, because Steve is the only one who is unlucky enough to be able to hear and see the menace. He is this close to exchanging his soul for some fucking peace.The whole thing would be a lot more amusing if Hanako wasn't also successfully covering the blackboard which contains everything he needs to know for the exam next week.Thanks, dude.

Laughing at my cries indeed.

But now Steve perks up. This is the only part from this wretched song he looks forward to. Because after that blessed line that hits a bit too close to home, comes the solo. Which means Hanako will be so focused on his air guitar, he will forget to screech around like a tortured banshee.

When Murray had warned them about "the dangers of the supernatural", this probably isn't what he'd had in mind. Regardless, Steve has received the message loud and clear: do not mess with the supernatural if you want your sanity to remain intact.

Unfortunately for his new ghostly acquaintance, Steve has been beat down by things outside of his control way too often not to take the rare chance to strike back. (He refuses to call them friends because: a) he is so obnoxious that his presence causes nothing more than deep annoyance and the occasional headache; and b) if Steve were to admit that they were anything more than that, that would mean that his only real friend is literally dead and can't be seen by most of the population, which would honestly just be extremely sad.)

When the solo seems to have reached its peak (the spirit dramatically headbanging as if his life depended on him, pun fully intended) Steve accidentally let's his eraser slip. His eraser that - on complete coincidence of course, Steve being captain of the basketball team has absolutely nothing to do with this - hits Hanako square on the face. Steve had expected the eraser to fall through him, maybe to irritate him at most. So it comes as a welcome surprise when his projectile actually hits his target in the face, Hanako apparently solid for some reason. Score. (He would later find out that the reason is that "it isn't a real headbang if you can't feel the whoosh whoosh of your hair")

The entire class turns to him at this sudden interruption, but Steve only has eyes for one particular menace. "Whoops, I'm so sorry", he says in his most insincere tone. It is a true tragedy when said target dramatically let's himself fall through the floor. Yeah, through. Can't even leave the classroom like a normal human being. What a dramatic bitch.

(No, he is not extremely bored afterwards. And he also doesn't hum the damned song under his breath. Shut the fuck up.)

--

Steve and basketball is a bit of a complicated thing. He may have first started because his father insisted, but he stayed out of his own volition. He liked the thrill of never knowing whether the ball would land until the last second. He liked the pleasant burn in his muscles after a harsh training. He liked how there was a camaraderie in the team that could only be forged by the ups and downs of a game with high stakes. And when he got made captain, he found that he loved that, too. He liked getting to know his players. Enjoyed how he could make up for their weakness and praise them for their strength. And he would be lying if he said that being looked up to - not being questioned on his every fucking decision for once - was a big fucking plus, too.

Times change. He has long learnt not to care about his parents opinions anymore. The thrill of throwing a ball pales a bit in comparison to the adrenaline rush of a real life or death situation. The camaraderie he had always felt at home in vanished along with his popularity.

But despite all that, he still loves the sport. Being captain of the team became his refuge from real life. Sure, Tommy who used to be his right hand man doesn't respect him anymore and has tried to start more than one mutiny (it is kind of hilarious to watch to be honest), and it is an understatement to say that the way the new Hargrove kid keeps intruding his space is disconcerting. (Or, according to Hanako, Gay with a capital 'G'). But this is something he has control over. This is something he knows he is good at. This is something that won't end in death if he accidentally makes a mistake.

He doesn't know why he is surprised when the coach calls him to his office on lunch break. His dismay worsens when he sees fucking Billy already waiting there. For a moment he wishes Hanako was here, if only to provide a distraction. He isn't sure where he disappeared to and to be quite honest it's making him a bit nervous. This isn't the first time he has thrown objects after him (more than one teacher already told him to get his "clumsiness" under control), but he has never stayed away for such a long time before. He had thought that that was their established dynamic: Hanako sings obnoxious songs and Steve hits him with a variety of projectiles. Which, thinking about it like that, does sound kind of bad...

The coach calls them in. Billy looks at him with a raised eyebrow and a mean grin, which could either mean that Steve had missed a jab at his expense, or could also just be his normal expression. To be honest, he doesn't care. Thank god that Hanako can distract him without physically being there. Which, technically he never actually is, but that isn't the point right now.

Coach looks at Steve in what he swears is disappointment and his heart drops. He knows his performance has suffered greatly the last few months. He knows he has had to sit out more and more because of injuries (most notably: a broken leg when he had to save one of his teammates from the monster living in the second shower stall, a concussion from when he accidentally stepped onto the fourth step of the stairs near the art room due to said broken leg, a bad cut on his right arm from when he fought against the bitter teacher that had died by the hand of one of his own students and thought the best way to get revenge was to keep ringing the bells 24/7 - something Steve normally would've just waited out until the ghost realized how futile that was, but had been absolutely unbearable because of his concussion. And so on and so on.)

As soon as they are released Steve walks away. No need to rub salt into the wound by looking at Hargrove's shit-eating grin. His legs automatically make their way towards the old moldy girls bathroom everyone does their best to avoid (short OMGBEA, or just OMG. Hanako finds himself absolutely hysterical). For a moment he considers finally cashing in his wish and make himself captain again, but realizes how ridiculous that it. It wouldn't be right, he'd feel like a fraud the whole time. It's just so fucking stupid. Yes, Billy is a better player than him, he can admit it. He definitely has more hoops than Steve and if you are the unfortunate soul he has decided to block, there is no way the ball is going anywhere (as he has experienced many, many times before). But Hargrove doesn't care about the team. He doesn't care about trying to turn his teammates into the best players they can be. He doesn't care about encouraging them or patiently explaining over and over again what they are doing wrong. Billy Hargrove is a selfish prick with zero patience, and Steve doesn't understand how coach can just not see that.

(No. Steve isn't crying. That would be stupid. Shut the fuck up.)

--

The bell rings.

Steve makes the executive decision that he doesn't fucking care. Not like he is going to make it far with his grades either way. His already dim chances of a sports scholarship were eradicated along with his title as team captain, might as well buy the alcohol and his seven cats while his parents are still financing him.

Somewhere between break and the end of first period Hanako appears. Steve is amused to find that he is just as extra when he believes to be alone. He stomps from one side to the other and runs his fingers through his already messy hair. Steve is pretty sure the only reason he is corporeal right now is for the satisfaction of hearing each step echo through the room.

"What the fuck- I know this fucker has chemistry, what the-"

"You know my timetable by heart?!"

Hanako looks up. His eyes are burning. Steve unconsciously takes a step back. Hanako follows. He takes another. Hanako does, too. They continue this little game until Steve's back hits the wall, and suddenly he is almost squeezed to death.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD I THOUGHT YOU WERE FUCKING DEAD YOU ASSHOLE"

Hanako let's him go for a second to punch him in the arm, only to dive back in immediately afterwards.

Steve still isn't quite used to it. Touching. He has never been very touchy feely with people. Or perhaps it would be more apt to say that people were never very touchy feely with Steve. When he was still together with Nancy, they mostly touched when they were making out or holding each other's hand in the hallway. But now with Jonathan? They hug and she pecks his cheek and he gives her piggy back rides and it fucking hurts. Not just that the girl he loves broke up with him, but that she is obviously so much happier with Jonathan. When he'd still been friends with Carol and Tommy, the two had always shared casual little touches between them that he could never partake in - even before they had gotten together. Maybe he had a huge sign on his forehead no one told him about: CAUTION! THIS PERSON WAS NEVER HELD AS A CHILD! SIDE EFFECTS OF CASUAL TOUCH MAY INCLUDE: BURSTING INTO TEARS

Maybe that is a warning only provided to the living or maybe Hanako just ignores it like everything else Steve tells (begs) him to, but fact is he is always touching him.

Steve will be trying to concentrate on a pop quiz, bending over the page in the hopes that the teacher can't see his increasingly desperate expression, when cold fingers appear in his peripherie and gently tuck back the strands of hair that had fallen into his eyes. Sometimes a whispered answer to a question will follow, but unless the subject is maths Steve has learnt the hard way that it's better to ignore that part. Or it will be a normal boring school day and suddenly Hanako will see it fit to sprawl himself all over Steve's shoulders. It could almost be considered a hug, except that one of the participants was mostly unwilling and what the other was doing could more accurately be described as "laying". Steve knows that Hanako can float, so he only puts his entire weight into it because he is a little shit. (He tries not to think about how it feels so fucking good)

It is truly an evil thing he is doing. Putting his head on his shoulder and hugging him from behind and being so fucking gentle it made him want to cry. How dare he make him realize how much he wanted this. How needy he is. And he knows that the fucker knows it, because sometimes he needs to run to the bathroom so he doesn't implode in the middle of the classroom and the motherfucker who is the entire reason for this situation will be laughing his ass off. (He is kind of scared of how used to it he is getting.)

Steve was not mentally prepared for the actually pretty painful punch to his arm that followed. Again. Couldn't even choose the other one.

For a second it looks like his same arm is going to be punched AGAIN, so he quickly traps Hanako's fists in his hands before he can go through with the unsaid threat.

"Why were you so sure that I'm dead?"

"WHY WEREN'T YOU IN CHEMISTRY FUCKER"

"I don't know, I think we have quite the chemistry between us-". It looks like he is going for a headbash him "I mean. I. Wasn't. Feeling like it."

"What do you mean you weren't feeling it"

"And I'm sure you always went to all your chemistry lessons mister carbon dioxide only has one oxygen molecule"

"When are you going to stop- wait. Were you crying?"

"I...No." Here is a fun thing you should know about Steve Harrington that makes his life stupidly harder: he is an awful liar.

"Did someone do something? Do I need to kill them? That's a rhetorical question, of course I have to"

He can't help but laugh. He knows the other is kidding. Probably. And he also doesn't think that sending Hanako after the coach is going to do much good. But the though it still amusing.

Steve had had full intention to not say what was actually bothering him. The spirit already teased him for being a jock, admitting he was devastated because he lost his position as team captain would just be giving him free fuel. He survived an entire school week of the other singing the entire Metallica discography on repeat. Everything he has suffered so far was so he could prevail now, and he would make sure it hadn't all been for nothing.

What he did not expect were the puppy dog eyes. Fuck. And as if that wasn't bad enough he invades his space and puts in the cutest fucking worried pout and FUCK.

Sometimes you need to be the bigger man and admit defeat. And as Nancy graciously reminded him again and again, true men DO cry instead of suppressing all their emotions. Fuck, it's so hard vocalizing things sometimes. He hates talking about his emotions. Ew. Maybe he should wish to become mute. Jesus H Christ.

"Wow you- uh you really care about...basketball. Don't you?" Hanako says the word 'basketball' as if it were a slur. Steve can already feel himself becoming defensive.

"So what?!"

Steve expects him to tease him. Make fun of him. But maybe he misjudges him because he...doesn't. Instead he tells him about D&D. To be quite honest, most of it goes right over Steve's head. He does gleam that the game has an awful lot of maths for something that is supposed to be fun, and that there is an entire vocabulary of acronyms his counterpart seems to think is common knowledge. But Steve doesn't mind. He has always loved watching people being passionate, loves the way their eyes will light up and their voice will fill with excitement. Hanako is no different.

The bell rings. Both boys ignore it. The spirit slowly loses steam and after a while both are laying on the dirty floor in silence. It's funny, they've never just been quiet together before. It's comfortable.

But there is one thing that won't leave his mind.

"Hey. Why...why were you so scared. When you didn't find me?"

"Can't I be worried for a friend? You know, you made quite a name for yourself in the supernatural community. That is not a place you want to be well-known in.".

"Bold to call us friends when I don't even know your name."

"It's...it's Eddie. Eddie Munson."

"Just Eddie?"

"I like to keep people guessing"

"I bet you're called like. Edwin or some old people shit."

Steve does not regret his "fall of the mighty" or whatever dramatic shit Eddie calls his truly spectacular fall in the social ladder.

He isn't sure why he'd been so scared of exactly that in the first place. He does not have to laugh at cruel "jokes" and feel like the biggest asshole in the world anymore. He doesn't need to keep up with the ridiculously complicated drama of who is with who or cheated on whom and whatever else bored teenagers do in the middle of nowhere. He'd never realized how exhausting it had been to wear this mask until he didn't have to anymore.

But there is one big thing that he does miss: the easy access to rumours. To be more specific: supernatural rumours.

Steve is truly glad that he has met Eddie. Not because he is actually pretty funny and a very engaging storyteller and surprisingly gentle despite his wild energy. Or whatever. Like, only a little bit because of those things. No, what makes Eddie truly irreplaceable is that he also is a seemingly bottomless well of information.

For example, Steve had never really thought about why the supernatural acted how it did. To be fair most of the time he'd been a bit too busy running for his life. He'd just assumed that they were bitter about being dead or something and found it funny to terrorize the living. Of course people would start whispering about it when doors started disappearing or students started aging decades in a matter of seconds. It is in the human nature to try to understand the unexplainable, after all. But as it turns out, it is the other way around.

"Do you think I want to keep hanging out in the girls' bathroom?! Don't answer that. It is literally moldy in here. The rumour says that if you want to summon Hanako you need to go to the last stall in the OMG bathroom, and so that is the only way I can be summoned. The dead is dependent on the imagination of the living."

That had been a harsh pill to swallow. He remembers having started more than one creepy story to scare his "friends" late at night. Eddie sees the way his face falls and sings a mashup of Steve's favorite songs for the rest of the day. He has a nice voice.

Now, Steve had had a fall from grace from truly epic proportions and could more often than not be seen talking to air. However, that doesn't change the fact that he is pretty and charming and has awesome hair. Occasionally someone who remembers his old days or simply doesn't care will come to him and ask him out. Kind of like the good old days. Except better, because now the entire school isn't holding its breath for the time it takes him to answer and he can say 'no' without it becoming the hottest (and often only notable) news of the week.

Normally, he abuses this new privilege of his. To be honest, he had thought that crushes were something other people had....invented. Sure, he would be happy if someone asked him out, but it had more to do with flattery than the person per se. He'd thought that "getting together" had nothing to do with any feelings, but only status. Like, this cheerleader can rise a bit in the ranks if she dates the swim captain. He'd thought that the "euphoria" and the "racing heart" or whatever the hell all the love songs described were nothing more than exaggerations for artistic purposes.

And then he'd fallen for Nancy. And like a fall it did feel indeed.

When another older girl came to him in his freshman year, he could always feel hundreds of eyes burning in his back, compelling him to say yes. He'd lose some money (or, well, his parents money so it was fine), have an okay to good time (it was particularly annoying when they were too nervous to do proper smalltalk) and give them a short peck goodbye. Some would maybe want to go on a second or even a third, but most broke it up after that because "they just didn't feel the spark". All Steve would feel was mild curiosity now that he was free again, and his image as "playboy" stayed intact.

(And then Nancy ruined everything. Fuck. He hadn't said yes to anyone ever since that damned party)

He doesn't know why he felt compelled to break his streak. Maybe it was because she dared to go over to the losers table at lunch. Maybe it was because Nancy was looking at him with such hope and relief. Maybe it was because Eddie looked very miffed for some reason and Steve can never pass up a chance to mess with him. Friendship or something. Or maybe he just needed a fucking distraction because it felt oddly personal to watch Billy run the basketball team to the ground.

Either way he agrees to go watch the new Indiana Jones movie with her (worst comes to worst Harrison Ford will be distracting enough), Nancy looks proud of him for "finally moving on" (if only she knew), Jonathan seems to not care either way (good on him to be honest), and Eddie disappears to do his ghostly things or whatever. He's got a test next period so it's better if he isn't there to distract him anyway.

The date is...fine.

It is his first one since Nancy and feels pretty lackluster in comparison. But it's okay. He is moving on or whatever.

They leave the movie theater. The movie was...fine. Harrison Ford was definitely fine. (Now that he thinks about it, it has been some time since he has felt something much stronger than "fine". Or "pleasant". Maybe he should be concerned about that. It's easier not to think about it, though. It's - you guessed it - fine.)

She asks him to take a walk with her in the woods. Sure, he says. It's a funny thing. He knows she has been in most of his classes since freshman year - or at least he is pretty sure he remembers her - but for the life of him he can not think of her name. One time she took his hand during the movie and when he looked over he saw her brushing her black hair from her face even though he could swear it had been red before. Insomnia truly is doing a number on him.

They are walking on the edge of the forest, hand in hand. Her eyes change color under the moonlight: brown and blue and yellow and purple and red. It's pretty.

She starts humming. It takes him a bit of time before he recognizes the song but he has to smile when he does. Wake Me Up Before You Go Go by Wham! It is his revenge song for Eddie's "Master of Puppets" - phase. The spirit hated how "preppy" the song is and Steve had been absolutely obsessed with it for a while.

They duet, dancing a bit to the beat of the song. Her hand is warm in his. The forest looks endless and inviting. It is...nice. Maybe even more than that.

After they finished the song for a second time she stops him. They just stare at each other for a moment. Her eyes are an impossible color. She smells like the forest. Like, exactly like the forest, as if she were a part of it. And then she slowly starts leaning forwards. Steve brushes some of her blonde hair behind her ear. It looks almost white. He prepares himself for a kiss (is a bit excited for it, to his own surprise), but instead of his mouth she zeroes on his ear.

"Have you been true?", she whispers.

She starts humming Wake Me Up Before You Go Go again. She is still humming as his first bones start breaking. She is still humming as his clothes become too big for him and fall to the floor. She is still humming when grey hairs start growing out of his burning skin. And then she laughs. She laughs and laughs and laughs and he knows he has made a terrible mistake.

"Has no one ever told you that it is bad to make a name for yourself in our world, Steve Harrington?" And then she disappears, returns to the forest she is a part of.

Steve squeaks.

Yes, squeaks. Because apparently, mouse anatomy was not made to produce human-sounding words.

Fuck.

--

When Steve was small, he sometimes wished he could be a pet. Maybe a cute pup. Or an elegant cat. Or even a lazy turtle. For his tiny brain, this seemed like the ideal life, and he can still see some of the appeal to be honest. You don't have to earn affection - you just get it freely, sometimes even if you did something you shouldn't. You don't have to know any stupid subjects that refuse to enter your brain or worry about dumb stressful things like grades or politeness. You can't take care of yourself, which means you will always come face to face with another person at least twice a day. You don't need to feel bad when you waste your parents' hard earned money on alcohol or food even though you barely contribute to the family. Yeah, sounds like a dream.

His actual experience as a mouse so far has been. Uhm. Not ideal? An unexpected surprise? So far he doesn't really have any strong emotions either way. Maybe he is in shock, or maybe his now miniscule rat brain is not able to comprehend what just happened.

It's interesting to see everything from a new angle, he supposes. The forest has always felt somewhat threatening - dark and endless and right outside of his house where trees created scary shadows inside his room. Funnily enough, it is less so now. There are so many different new textures and smells he does not have the brain capacity to feel scared.

But he doesn't have time to dwell on that right now. Or well, technically he does, since he can hardly go to school like this. Unless his lifespan shortened along with the transformation? He is pretty sure rats have a way shorter life expectancy than humans. It's probably better not to think too hard about that one. Compartmentalization is one of the few things he is naturally good at.

Okay, so it doesn't really make sense to sit in classes if he doesn't have to, but what is he supposed to do instead? It's not like he can open his very human-sized front door when he is like this.

But... Hanako is still in the school premises - naturally, since he can't exactly leave. And Steve still hasn't made his wish. He just needs to find the school (he has lived here his whole life surely he can manage that), make Eddie understand that the rat following him around is actually Steve (....somehow) and then communicate without being able to speak or sign or write that he wishes to be turned back into his human form (he'll figure that part out if he miraculously even makes it this far). So yeah. Solid plan. Whatever, he's always been more of a go with the flow guy anyway.

Okay, so he and his...date(?) came from the direction of the cinema. The cinema is deeper into town, where the school also is. So he just has to figure out which way they came from, and once he manages to get into the town centre he is sure he will figure it out, even under these extenuating circumstances.

Steve may not be very book smart, or just like smart in general, but if there is one thing he knows about himself is that he has great instincts. His gut tell him to go left, so he does. Either he will arrive at the school - which is the goal - or his house - which wouldn't be the end of the world. (Or maybe somewhere completely different but it's better not to think about that possibility). As long as it doesn't take longer than the average rat can survive, the worst that can happen is a delay. Which wouldn't even be that bad, since at least Eddie would realize that something was wrong.

Ever since the day the spirit almost had a second early death because he skipped class, Steve always makes sure to let him know if he can't make it for some reason. Mostly that means using the walkies-talkies they started carrying around to ask Nancy to relay the information to Hanako, which in turn almost always gives her a heart attack. ("Steve! How many times do I have to tell you that these are for emergencies only?!" "It is an emergency if he refuses to stop singing Metallica during my biology test tomorrow")

So he starts walking. And walks. And walks. And walks. He thinks the worst part of being turned into a rat is how he completely loses his sense of time. He has lived in this town his whole life, meaning he knows how long it takes to get pretty much anywhere on foot. There isn't a whole lot to do in Hawkins (what a surprise) so he used to go exploring a lot. If he was still a human and thus possessed these wondrous limbs commonly known as legs, it would take about half an hour to get to the school. As things are, he does not have a watch and he does not know how much slower he is walking. The sky continues to darken and for all he knows he could be walking for hours. Or the completely wrong direction. The thought feels a bit more daunting now that his clothes are out of sight and he isn't sure he will ever find them again. A pity, he even wore one of his favorite shirts - just tight enough to show everything he has to offer, but still elegant. Simple but classy. And now covered in dirt.

It feels like an eternity when he finally starts recognizing his surroundings. It takes another one for him to finally see the school parking lot, and yet another to actually cross it until he finally arrives at the right building. It seems more and more likely that the stupid being who deceived him into a date somehow cursed his sense of time as well. Or maybe a rat's perception of time is different from a human's, shorter lives and all that.

Here is one little detail he forgot to account for in his genius plan: the school also has a human-sized door. Not only that, it has a human-sized door he wouldn't be able to open even if he still resided in his original body, since it is locked and they don't give away the keys to random students.

Maybe he can like. Scream really loudly. And hope that Eddie will hear him. And somehow recognize his true form with a mere glance. Or, well, if he's being honest with himself, he wouldn't be surprised if Eddie let a random rat in just for shits and giggles.

The sound that comes out of his tiny snout is truly embarrassing. He is almost relieved that it is too quiet for anyone to have heard it.

So.... Well. What now? Should he search for another entrance? Surely there is a hole somewhere in the outer walls, everyone knows schools don't have enough funding. But then, he just had to do a really long and tiresome hike. And it is already late in the night. And he'd already wasted some of his energy before this whole mess even started being anxious for his first date in forever...

He isn't sure when he falls asleep. All he knows is that one second he is looking up to the stars and thinking about life, and the next he is being woken up by multiple teens screeching and stomping around. Are his ears more sensitive like this or is it the mere displeasure of having this be the first thing he wakes up to that makes their voices so unbearably shrill? We may never find out.

The important part is that it is morning. Which means he can simply walk through the already open doors and run to the OMG-bathroom (he is already dreading the smell). And when he gets there and finally gets to Eddie, all he has to do is-. Well. One thing at a time.

For once it doesn't take an eternity to arrive at his destination. It would be more of a relief if he had been able to come up with a plan on his way there, but here they are. Winging it it is.

Thankfully the Old Moldy Girls Bathroom Everybody Avoids's door doesn't close all the way. He squeezes himself inside and there - as expected - is Eddie Munson. It has become part of their routine to meet up at the bathroom in the morning (even though Eddie knows his timetable by heart and neither of them are girls. Maybe they should talk that one over once he is human again).

Eddie plays a bit with him while he waits for a currently indisposed human Steve to arrive. Rat Steve refuses to admit how good it feels to get cuddles on his little forehead. Doesn't stop him from asking for more.

Eddie laughs at his antics, but his smile dims with every second that passes. By the time the first lesson begins he is frowning. Steve can hear as he mutters to himself: how reassurances turn into worry and a brief sadness that absolutely breaks his heart followed by...anger? Steve isn't sure how they got to that last part, but suddenly they are cursing Steve and his entire family line and the girl(?) that took him out for some reason. He can wholeheartedly agree with the last two, and tries not to take the first one too personally.

Steve isn't sure how much time passes before Eddie has had enough and decides to look for him in class. It goes like this: he sees Eddie approaching the door. He panics. He is body slamming into the wall. Turns out it is not a good idea to launch yourself at other people when said other people are a ghost.

Eddie looks just as shocked as Steve himself. "WHAT THE FUCK?!" "DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE JACKASS JESUS H. CHRIST" is what Steve would've liked to scream in return. Except he couldn't, because he was still a rat.

"WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?! ARE YOU STUPID? ARE YOU SUICIDAL? CAN RATS EVEN BE SUICIDAL?!?!" Steve answers the best way he can given the current circumstances: he huffs and shows Eddie his ass. Eddie pauses. For a moment hope blooms in Steve's heart.

"This may sound insane. But...can you....understand me?" Steve turns around so fast he gives himself whiplash. It doesn't help when he starts nodding enthusiastically and slams his head into the floor.

"Are you. No way. ... Stevie?"

Steve is so excited he starts jumping up and down.

"Aww, is tiny little Stevie in a bit of a pickle?"

Steve really wishes mice had middle fingers.

"I am assuming you are here to cash in that wish I still owe you. Aren't you lucky that I am so benevolent as to have stopped you from throwing away your wish for some girl? Aren't you regretting not having listened to me when I said that you shouldn't go on this date? Huh?"

Steve turns around, ready to live out the rest of his days as a rodent because his salvation is being a little shit.

He can barely walk a step before something warm envelops him. A moment he is on all fours, and the next he is still on all fours, except that the inconveniently low doorknob is now in his field of vision.

"Kinky." Steve doesn't need to turn around to see the shit-eating grin on Eddie's face.

He is human. It takes him another moment to really internalize it. He looks down, and he now has two perfectly usable middle fingers. And arms, god how he had missed fucking arms.