#tazsecretsanta

Normally, about this time, the team would be out exploring the plane and gathering information. However, Cycle 20’s plane was a molten expanse of volcanoes and fire–white-hot and deadly to the touch. So the group was forced to stay indoors, confined to the metal walls of their silver ship, restless. Bored.

Taako’s screaming reached a crescendo. Lucretia picked out phrases, like, “Get out here right now Burnsides so I can kick it into a volcano” and “I’m gonna magic missile you so hard you enter a different plane”.

But then Magnus’s voice rang down the hall too, volume loud but his tone placating and soothing. “Taako, calm down, it was just a prank! I’ll do the dishes for the entire next cycle if you let me out.”

Taako stopped shouting.

Lucretia heard a door open, then shut, and then there was the sound of casual conversation as Magnus and Taako walked together through the hallway and back into the living area. Lup asked a question, and Taako answered, and Lucretia pictured Taako and Magnus joining Lup on the sofa, Taako leaning his back against Magnus’s soft, broad chest and stretching his legs across his sister’s lap. She sketched the scene in her mind out onto the journal page, paying careful attention to where the twins were identical and where they were different. Subtle differences like Taako’s expressions, Lup’s eyes, the placement of their freckles, their scars, their lines and their soft folds.

All was peaceful for a moment.

And Lucretia was sad.

Lucretia was an introvert, but–even introverts get lonely.

Did the group just forget she existed? They seemed like the kind of people who would get so caught up with their siblings and their friends and themselves that they’d forget about the lonely journalkeeper shut up in her room.

Lucretia sighed. Maybe it was better this way. Maybe it was better to just not get attached to anyone. That way, when any of them inevitably died, she would not be broken by grief like Taako was when Lup died that first time.

Her door opened. She startled so hard she dropped her pen and, looking around (and slightly down), she saw Merle Highchurch standing there. “Hey, uh, kid,” he said. “I brought you some tea. In case. You know. You wanted some.” He sighed. “Okay, Pan definitely told me you needed some company. What’s goin’ on?”

Lucretia was more than a little shocked as she accepted the mug he held. Of all the people to come and make conversation with her, Merle was probably the least likely candidate of all. She stared at him for a moment. Then, collecting herself, she said, “Nothing’s wrong, Merle. Thank you, though, for the tea.” She gave him a little smile. She hoped it was convincing.

“Listen, Lucretia,” Merle said, sitting down on the floor next to her chair, “if Pan tells me something’s wrong, then something is wrong.” He studied her. “Come on, you can tell ol’ Merle.”

She chuckled a little. “Thank you, Merle.” A pause, where she collected her thoughts. “I’m just–you know. I’m a little lonely.”

“Then come out of your room and talk to us!” He smiled. “We won’t bite.”

She gave him a look.

“Alright,” Merle amended. “Maybe Taako would bite you a little bit. But not hard!” He sighed. “My point is. We’re gonna be stuck on this crazy mission for Pan knows how long. We might as well all get to know each other. Come on out and talk to someone.”

Then he stood and patted her hand and left her room. Soon his voice joined the comfortable banter in the living area, and then she heard Barry’s door open and his voice joined, and then even Davenport came in from wherever he had been and he entered the conversation, too, and the tone sounded–expectant? Because there were six voices in the room and they needed a seventh, Lucretia thought.

Alright, then. She’d give them what they wanted.

She closed her journal with a decisive snap and stood, gripping her mug of tea with one hand. With the other she opened her door and, with only a split second’s hesitation, she stepped out into the hallway. Looking to her right, she saw directly into the living area. And everyone was looking back at her.

“Hey, Lu!” Magnus called. “You gonna join us in debating whether or not dogs should vote?”

She smiled. “Of course they should vote,” she said, stepping into the living area and taking a seat in a cozy armchair next to the sofa. She tucked her feet up under her and continued. “Dogs are very intelligent beings. They can stand up and shake hands and say ‘hello’ just like politicians, and if politicians can have power, than so can dogs.”

“See?” Magnus said, turning to Taako with a triumphant expression. “The smartest person on the ship agrees with me!”

“Hey!” Barry objected.

“It’s true,” Taako said. “She can write with both hands, at the same time. Can you do that, Barold? I didn’t think so. Don’t claim titles you haven’t earned.”

Lucretia grinned. “I didn’t know everyone thought I was the smartest.”

“Me, either,” Barry grumbled.

“It’s okay, Barold,” Lup said, reaching out to pat his shoulder (Lucretia watched him blush). “I still think you’re super smart.”

After the initial conversation, Lucretia expected to just sit and listen to the banter. However, she was dragged into more discussions and engaged in more banter, and soon she was laughing with the rest of them over some quip Taako made when he got up to make dinner.

She actually ate dinner with the team and they continued their lively conversations across the table from each other, Lucretia joining in on a debate on whether or not the viola was actually a real instrument, and the argument turning into a food fight between the twins and Magnus, and Lucretia and Davenport ducking under the table while Merle joined Magnus’s side and Barry tried desperately to get them to stop.

And it was a good time, Lucretia thought, when the burning sun ducked below the molten planet’s horizon and the ship grew dark. When the team headed off for bed, mumbling sleepy “Goodnight”s and closing their doors.

When the ship went quiet and everyone went to sleep.

When the nightmares started.

It was awful–in her mind’s eye she saw her parents, her family, screaming in terror as they were consumed by the Hunger. In her dream Lucretia watched as her family and friends died and she could do nothing to save them.

Lucretia woke up in a cold sweat to a pointy-eared face looking down at her. “Hey,” Lup said, “thought you’d want to join in the cuddle pile that’s currently going on in Magnus’s room.”

“No, thank you,” Lucretia said weakly, “I don’t want to impose–”

“Nah, nah, it’s no big deal,” the elf insisted, “come on!”

She grabbed Lucretia’s wrist and dragged her from her room, down the hall to Magnus’s room. “I brought Lu,” Lup said with a grin. She snuggled down beside her brother, head resting on Magnus’s broad chest.

Lucretia stood awkwardly, staring at the tangle of people piled on top of each other, until Taako (of all people!) said, “Are you gonna join us or not?”

“Well,” she started, then considered her options. She could stay here and feel safe and be surrounded by people who probably liked her, or she could go back to her room by herself.

She sighed. “Alright.” Taking a breath, she walked over to the bed and climbed onto the mattress, tucking herself into the pile of people. Instantly they molded around her, reshaping themselves into a new position so everyone fit together seamlessly. It was warm, she discovered, and soft, and safe. And before she quite knew what was happening, she was asleep again.

Her dreams were soft, hazy, warm–visions of old Candlenights celebrations and family reunions. And when she woke up again to hear the twins bickering in the kitchen and Merle whistling to his plants and Magnus singing in the shower, she thought maybe she had the beginnings of a new family.