#tazel

For a second, Hazel is stunned silent. Her eyes widen and she blinks before her lips are drawn into a hard line, gaze softening. Her thin brows furrow themselves and she says: “What makes you question that so suddenly?”

“I dunno, Blondie. Things just haven’t been the same since—“ Thomas stops himself, swallows long and hard, and readjusts himself on her lap. “I just have doubts sometimes is all, Princess.”

Hazel doesn’t know what to say to that, but silence isn’t exactly an option and so she forces herself to say something—anything to the sweet boy looking up at her. Her voice comes as a whisper: “You know I do.” He looks like a pup that got kicked in its side before being left out in the cold rain. The expression doesn’t suite him.

“I dunno,” he repeats himself, tone filled with melancholy and a hint of nostalgia. His eyes seem far off and distant.

“Come on now, Tommy,” Hazel sighs in exasperation. She suddenly feels desperate now. The thought he might not believe her strips away at any pleasant mood she held until that point. “I do love you. Very much. You have to know that.”

However, she’s met with silence as he once again readjusts himself on her lap—except this time he faces away from her to stare at the wall. Hazel watches him. Thomas sighs.

“It’s not that I don’t,” he suddenly begins. Thomas has never been good at talking about how he feels: not regarding this anyway. Never this. “I guess I’m just frightened is all.”

“Of what?”

“You leavin’ again. That history may repeat itself one day, and you might be gone. That you might say ‘no’ when I ask if you still do…love me.”

“Tommy, I-“

“Hazel, you need to understand…That messed me up. It messed me up real bad.” Thomas chooses then to sit up, facing away from her but still sparing a glance to her over his shoulder. “When I stop and think about it too long, I start to worry. I know it’s unnecessary and whateva my mind’s conjurin’ up is a lie, but it’s hard to remember that when it’s already happened once.”

Hazel bites her lip to keep from saying anything, because she has no leg to stand on with that kind of history behind her. She doesn’t deserve the right to defend herself on this one anyway. Instead, she guiltily drops her gaze to where his head had been resting. Perhaps she has no right to look at him too.

“I love you, Princess, but-“ Thomas stops himself and breathes in slowly, “I love you.”

Perhaps she doesn’t deserve him either. He’s always been too kind; and she doesn’t have to look at him to know he’s struggling to talk about this because he’s keeping her feelings in mind. Not his. Hers.

The thought makes her feel like crying, but she hasn’t earned that right either. Not when it was her actions that hurt him.

“Princess?”

So why is she now wrapped in his arms, being comforted by him? She has always been selfish.

“I love you,” Thomas repeats again, holding her to his chest.

------ The sounds of chopped wood began to cease. Slowly but surely, until the only noise was the sound of Thomas's axe hitting the ground.  "Damn it all, why.... why d-does it still hurt..." he muttered, his words shivering and trembling as though the cool air of the autumn breeze shook their very form. He loved his daughter to the utter core of his being, and the fact that someone could just ditch her and also be the love his life killed him. He punched the tree that he had been chopping, angrily wishing it would just fall, to no avail. This wasn't like him; he was the fun, energetic, "big kid". He didn't mean to be so sensitive. He dropped himself down onto the nearest stump, placing his elbows on his knees while he brought his gloved hands up to his face. He sighed shakily, wiping a lone tear as he covered his face completely.  "... It used to be different."

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"Can I open them yet?!" A young girl, blonde and beautiful at her vibrant age of sixteen, laughed. Her eyes were covered by the gloved hands of a young and dashing red-headed boy, about the same age, and she felt her feet move through leaves and stones - the sounds of rustling and crunching absolutely unmistakable. Her curiosity peaked, however, as the young lad gently had her sit down upon an oaken stump. "Are you ready? I'm going to lift my hands but keep your eyes closed for a few more seconds until I say so, alright?" the young boy whispered, waiting a moment for the blonde to process what he had just said. He slowly lifted his hands and he could be heard quickly walking a few feet away as his boots tore away at the leaves beneath his feet.  "Yes, yes! Just let me open my eyes already!" the girl replied, her impatience brimming with excitement. "Open 'em!" It was almost unnatural how instantaneous it had been when the girl opened her eyes. Her extremely wide and open smile brought in a huge intake of air as though she couldn't breathe until that very moment of truth.  "Oh, Tommy, I -- !" she had begun to cry out excitedly, too prepared with her speech before actually seeing what was in front of her. She stopped herself, her face still frozen in what had been joy and excitement, and blinked quizzically many times. "Um, Thomas... what is that?" The objects in question were two long tubes with mediocre stars splattered on them with blue paint, and next to them was what looked like two little rockets with a strings attached. The boy, Thomas, was standing next to them with his hands outstretched in the objects's direction as though he were a magician, the moonlight that surrounded them enveloping his being in what looked like a spotlight. All that was missing was the "ta-da". Thomas was not at all disheartened at his companion's reaction. In fact, he grinned and walked over to her. Gently nudging her shoulder with his elbow, he energetically squatted beside her and grasped her right shoulder with his right hand, and stretched out his left arm in front of her. He gestured his left hand toward the objects by the oak tree opposite of them and wiggled his brow. "Ready to be amazed, Hazel?" he said, attempting to sound manly and mysterious as he purred in the girl's ear. "Yeah, I'm still waiting on that." the girl smirked. She loved Thomas's childish heart and exuberant energy. Although, the change of voice did make her heart skip a beat and caused a bit of a blush to brighten up her cheeks. "Well, watch this!" he grinned, almost yelling as he excitedly jumped up and ran over to the small rocket and tube. Hazel giggled at his change of tone. She watched as Thomas placed each rocket in the two tubes, making sure that the string popped out so that it could be seen and used. She still couldn't tell what he was up to when he lit a match that he withdrew from his pocket. He bent down and lit the small strings of fire. The second rocket was farther away and therefore would take an extra minute or two to go off. The boy whipped the match to-and-fro, extinguishing the flame and putting the burnt match back into his pocket. Hazel kept a small, cheeky smile upon her face as she waited. It didn't take long for the first rocket to blow. And it took an even shorter amount of time for Thomas to scream from the shock of having a rocket blow up in his face.  "Aggh!!!" he cried out, patting his face wildly with his gloves, unaware of the tiny flame at the end of a few pieces of his hair.  "Tommy!" Hazel exclaimed, rushing over to her love and patting down his face quickly but gently. It was only a few seconds, but the small explosion and all the patting felt like minutes had passed. Hazel sighed exasperatedly. "What were you trying to do, Tommy?! Kill yourself?!" "Naw, nothin' like that." Thomas grinned innocently, scratching the back of his head as he let out a few chuckles. He blinked as he noticed the small flame in his hair, and he quickly pinched it out. "I know how much you like fireworks... So, I figured I'd surprise you with some! But it's okay, I stashed some really tasty strawberries in a basket behind this tree in case I messed up." The blonde took a moment to stare up at the dirtied and blackened face of the one boy she had come to love so much in so little time. Realizing her hands were still on his face, she blushed and looked away for a moment as she struggled on a decision. Their mingled breaths, the laughs they had shared, the panic she had felt over the possibility of him possibly being in pain from the rocket, the understanding, the fun, and all of the... love. Was it love? It had to be. "What is it?" the red-head blinked, looking down at the girl that was leaning against him slightly.  "I think I love you, Tommy." Hazel said, staring back up at his face. Thomas blushed instantly. "Well, I --" he blurted out, interrupted by the intensity of the blonde's eyes. His eyes flickered to her lips, and he noticed how their cool breaths danced with each other on this one chilled but beautiful night. He felt his lids droop a bit as his hands gently snaked around the young girl's waist, pulling her closer.  The blonde's hands slid from the boy's cheeks softly down his neck, and she let her eyelids fall slowly as her arms wrapped around his neck. She felt the boy's back arch slightly as she felt him lean toward her, and she leaned right back. And just as their faces closed the distance... BOOM! Startled, the two jumped in each other's grasp and yelped in surprise. Their eyes darted everywhere, completely unaware of their apple-red cheeks. Colorful blues and greens and reds filled the sky above them, illuminating their faces, as the second rocket erupted in the night sky, adding beautiful colors and shapes to the dark canvas. The two finally noticed and, completely mesmerized, stared up at the night sky. The bitter chill of the ending Fall season did not shake up their bones, for they were warm in each other's hold. The fireworks were cheap, and so they did not last more than a few minutes. Memorable minutes that would never be forgotten. Thomas looked down at Hazel and chuckled a bit, giving her the most charming smile he had ever given anyone. "I love you too, princess." Hazel beamed, and she opened her mouth. She could not find words, however, and the silence caused Thomas to laugh. And since it was absolutely contagious, Hazel found herself laughing right against his chest. It was mutual, and that made it absolutely perfect. It was the best night of their lives, and it led to so much more.

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