#task 019

07.09.2023

The days here in the Chateau can feel incredibly mundane, and it's disheartening to witness the repetitive routine that has become the fabric of my existence. Each morning, I wake up in my dimly lit cell, the cool stone walls serving as a constant reminder of the mistakes I made in the past. The guards follow their scripted protocols, ensuring the tight security that keeps us confined.

Breakfast is a dreary affair, with tasteless meals served in the cafeteria where the atmosphere is suffocatingly sterile. The conversations among the inmates revolve around the same tired topics: regrets, missed opportunities, and the longing for freedom.

After breakfast, the day descends into a predictable pattern of monotonous activities. We're herded like sheep to work, shower, and then shoved back into our cells. The hours blur together, and it's easy to lose track of time in this dreary routine.

Hayato has taken an unexpected interest in me, offering me a place in his home. It's an opportunity I never thought I would have, and truth be told, it both excites and terrifies me. The thought of living outside these walls is both liberating and overwhelming. I'm unsure how to process it all.

On one hand, the idea of a fresh start, a chance to rebuild my life and embrace newfound freedom, is incredibly tempting. The prospect of leaving behind the oppressive atmosphere of this place, with its constant reminders of my past mistakes and struggles, is like a breath of fresh air. Hayato's offer gives me hope for a brighter future, one where I can redefine myself and find a sense of purpose beyond my creation.

But on the other hand, I can't shake off the nagging doubts that cloud my thoughts. How genuine is Hayato's interest in me? Is this just a fleeting fascination, or does he truly see something in me worth investing in? What if I disappoint him? What if I'm not capable of living up to his expectations? These doubts whisper in the depths of my mind, gnawing at my confidence and making me question whether accepting his offer is the right choice.

Yet, despite my reservations, there's a part of me that longs to take this leap of faith. Hayato's presence has brought a glimmer of light into my life, a spark of connection that I haven't felt in years. His kindness, his willingness to look beyond my past and see the potential within me, has awakened a sense of self-worth I thought I had lost forever.

The routines of the Chateau, for all their suffocating familiarity, have become a twisted comfort, shielding me from the unpredictable world beyond. Stepping into Hayato's home means venturing into uncharted territory, relinquishing the familiar shackles that have, in their own way, provided a semblance of security. There is also the question of my own worthiness. 

Will I be able to adapt to a life outside these walls where the beasts of society roam free and the masks of humanity conceal their true natures? The uncertainty gnashes its teeth at my resolve, tormenting me with the realization that this place may have seeped into the very fibers of my being, rendering me ill-prepared for life beyond its grasp.

Is it gratitude I feel for his offer, or a deeper longing entwined with fear and uncertainty? I’m not sure.

Until next time,

My Dearest Georgie, 

I hope you’ll forgive my not writing sooner. It’s something I never considered doing if I’m being honest. To write to someone who is no longer with me, someone who’s not even alive anymore, is intimidating. And if I’m being honest, seems like such nonsense to do. Why bother writing to someone who will never see this? But someone convinced me to try, to write my own deep thoughts down in this journal as a way of getting them out. He claimed I bottle too much up and that it’ll be “detrimental to my mental health”. Laughable, really. But the more I thought about it, the more I felt some kind of pull to write something. Something to you. So that’s what I’m going to try and start doing, darling. 

My time here in Covaire City has been interesting. Actually it’s, and pardon my language, fucking chaotic if I’m being honest. But something tells me you’d like it here. With me. Given the chaos we used to live among. I still laugh thinking about how you swore to your daddy you wouldn’t venture off for fear of running into the vampires, but I remember the mischievous glint in your gaze that you’d slide my way when he wasn’t looking. Despite the terror they could rain down on us, something inside you had always been curious. You acted like a reckless little vixen. My brave little beauty. Something tells me you’d have thrived here with me. 

Especially if you saw me in action here. I never like to use my strength and power to inflict pain or punishment on others. Something you’d know better than anyone else, darling. But this week was necessary. Some moron civilian tried to attack two human escorts as they were returning back to Le Bordel, where I work. I normally would have been long gone from my shift, but something had be sticking around a bit longer, chatting with a fellow guard there. When I heard the screams for help, something in me was triggered or something, pulling me back to one of the first attacks on our town. It was like I saw red and was unaware of what I was even doing after seeing one female on the ground unconscious and the other pinned beneath the male wolf. For some reason I still don’t get, my mind flashed to your picture, a part of me thinking you were the one who needed my help. And that made me want to kill that son of a bitch. But I kept that control, despite beating the shit out of the guy before I snapped his neck with ease, and got those girls some help before I dragged his sorry ass off to the Chateau where he’ll hopefully stay. I’m telling you this because, despite being the complete opposite when I was human, shadowing the doctor in town, part of me knows you, and your daddy, would have been proud. 

And that’s all I’ve ever wanted and will always want. You’re my reason for holding onto my humanity, the one who keeps me grounded. And I hope writing to you like this will continue to do so. 

Until next time, my love. 

THESE STREETS RPG  // TASK 019;   OOC INFO

Name: Martina. It means born on a tuesday, which I was, and little mars. But you can call me Mar. 

Hometown: Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Age: 20 years old.

Pronouns: She/Her

Studying: Teacher Training College (English as a Second Language)

Favourite drink: Iced/Hot Skinny Caramel Macchiato 

Favourite food: I can’t choose!! Probably Pizza, Pasta or ‘Milanesa’ which is a deep-fried thin piece of breaded meat fillet, usually served with french fries. I’ve got quite a sweet tooth tho, and I can bake about anything if I have the recipe.

Pets: A dog, who’s a halfblood. A friend of mine found him wandering the streets and we took him in. His name is ‘Canelo’ (the cinnamon tree, as far as I know), plus he’s brown so that inspired his name..

Hobbies: Reading, RPing, Photoshop, Sleeping, Netflix, Singing.

Fun fact(s) about me: TAYLOR SWIFT FOLLOWS MY PERSONAL TUMBLR. Also I love jigsaw puzzles and visiting museums.  Y’all probably already know this but i’m obsessed with books. I own about 100 of them (not enough!), there are 30+ on my TBR yet I continue to buy books, and my bookshelves are color coordinated. I also am an instagram and snapchat cray cray.

Confession: I bought two books the other day and they were expensive as hell and now my bank account is below zero and I haven’t told my parents yet and if I do they’ll probably kill me, whoops.

Link to my instagram below: