#tasing

Also don't worry about the sendbox, we know how it can sometimes. Here's a chicken for your stress 🐔

Hi Chicken Anon! Can I call you Chicken Anon? I know it took a while to get to this, but I needed a whole army of chickens to help with my stress. Fortunately, after hiring some rooster mercenaries, I am feeling a bit better, and I can now write this for you! Here you go!

Things To Keep In Mind

Hero threw the door to their home open and marched right toward the couch, not bothering to even take off their boots. They faceplanted into the cushions and screamed into the nearest pillow. They didn’t look up when the front door gently closed and their lover made their way over to them.

“I thought I felt a chill,” Lover said.

“Hmph.”

“The room always gets colder when you’re stressed,” they went on.

“Hmph.”

Lover sat down on the edge of the couch and started petting Hero’s hair.

“Long day?” they asked.

“Hmph.”

“Love, you know I can’t speak grunt.”

Hero looked up from the pillow, frustrated tears brimming in their eyes.

“Villain is going to be the death of me,” they whispered.

Lover looked at them sympathetically, still carding a hand through their hair.

“Talk to me,” they said.

“I had them, Lover,” Hero said, “I had them right where I wanted them, and the cops were backing me up and then- then! They all had their tasers pointed at me! Villain’s getting stronger, they were able to control an entire police squad! Villain of course got away, and I was halfway to the station before everyone snapped out of it!”

“Did they hurt you at all?” Lover asked.

“Officer zapped me at the scene, and then someone else cuffed me…”

“I hope they all apologized when they came out of it.” Lover said sharply.

“Yeah, yeah, they did… Commissioner wanted me to get checked out by the paramedics… said it was procedure or something, but I was so done with everything by then and I didn’t want to get hospitalized or something.”

“I’m sure they weren’t going to hospitalize you,” Lover said.

“Well, even so…”

Hero yawned. As they had been speaking, they were starting to grow sleepy for some reason.

“I think you need an ice bath and some sleep,” Lover whispered.

“Hmm…”

“It’s going to be all right, my love. You’re carrying so much worry with you, let me take it away.”

“I love you,” Hero mumbled drowsily.

“I love you, too,” Lover said.

Lover picked their Hero up in a bridal carry and started toward the bathroom. They got them out of their dirty suit and gently set them down in the water. Hero started making little patches of ice in the bubbles while Lover worked shampoo into their hair. Hero sighed in relief as the stress inexplicably melted away.

…

Lover held Hero close under the covers, planting a small kiss on their forehead. Hero mumbled something incoherent to them and snuggled closer.

“Shhh,” Lover said, “sleep now, Hero.”

Hero drifted off a moment later, their breathing deep and even. Lover made sure their dreams would be pleasant for them. They sent another wave of sleep through Hero’s mind as they gingerly climbed out of bed.

Lover went the basement and pressed on a seemingly random cinderblock in the wall. The hidden door opened with a whoosh. They approached the suit they had left on the table. The monitors in their lair gave them a full view of the city, and, more importantly, their Hero’s usual patrol areas. Villain slid their mask on and scanned the monitor showing the police station. When they had ordered the imbeciles to let them escape, they didn’t mean to hurt their beloved!

“Now which of you idiots was responsible for the tasing?” they muttered, rewinding old footage of the fight.

The camera zoomed in on the officer apprehending Hero. Villain pulled up their database and took note of their ID.

“Let’s see how you enjoy being the henchman for my next heist,” Villain smirked.

They left their lair, the hidden door sliding back into place. Villain made their way to the police station for Officer’s punishment, while Hero slept peacefully at home. Hero had enough stress in their life, and if Villain could help take any of it away, they would. They couldn’t stop their plans, of course, but they could help in other areas.

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“Is this him?”

Whumpee looked up at the sound of the voice at the door. He had been lucky, so far. Lucky that the first people he found after escaping from Whumper’s home had been police officers. Lucky that they had listened to him and believed him, sending two other officers out to the address Whumpee provided and taking him back to the station to take his statement.

Now, his luck was almost too good to be true. There, standing at the door of the little office where he’d been conducting his interview, stood Whumper, glaring at him, a policeman’s hand on his shoulder.

“Yes,” he said, breathless with relief. “Yes, that’s him, that’s the guy who - God, I can’t believe you caught him already, I’m - ”

“I’m not asking you,” the policeman holding Whumper snapped.

Whumpee blinked, taken aback. “What do you - ?”

“Yeah, that’s him,” Whumper grunted. “Thanks for finding him.”

The officer who had been interviewing him pushed his chair back and stood, pulling a set of handcuffs out of the top drawer as he did. “Hang on,” Whumpee said. “What’s going - hey!”

He yelped as, rather than approaching Whumper, the officer instead grabbed Whumpee, twisting his hands behind his back and locking the handcuffs in place. “What the hell?! What are you doing?! That’s the guy, that’s the one who kidnapped me! The one I was telling you, just now - !”

“God, this one’s loud,” the officer now holding Whumpee remarked.

Whumper shrugged, watching Whumpee with no discernible expression as he struggled. “Been keeping him gagged at home a lot. He’s a slow learner.”

“What is going on?!” Whumpee shouted. “Hey! Hey, someone help me! He’s a kidnapper, he’s a torturer! I can show you, I’ll show you what he’s - !”

“Could you keep it down over there?” someone shouted back from down the hall. “Some of us are trying to work!”

“Someone grab the packing tape from the supply closet!” the officer called to someone out of Whumpee’s sight.

Whumpee could feel his breath picking up. He was having trouble really grasping the turn of events playing out around him, but it was rapidly becoming clear that he had not actually escaped his ordeal, not by a long shot. He strained against the grip of the officer, continuing to yell out for help as he started thrashing at the body behind him.

“Shit, would you just - ” the officer grunted. “Help me out here, would you, he’s - fuck!” The officer stumbled as Whumpee managed to elbow him in the gut. He only had a moment to relish it, though, when suddenly his whole body jolted, taut with pain. He screamed at the fire that was suddenly rocketing through him, from his torso out to his limbs, which he could no longer move to his own will. They were stiff and tight, like every muscle was being squeezed, every nerve alight.

He collapsed to the floor, and as suddenly as it started, the pain stopped, leaving him twitching on the ground and gasping for breath. Through teary eyes he squinted upward to see the second officer standing in front of him, taser out, blue sparks still crackling threateningly toward him.

“You couldn’t have done that earlier?” the first officer muttered, giving Whumpee a nudge with his foot.

“Sorry,” the second officer said with a shrug. “You picked a real rowdy one this time, huh?”

“Eh, I like a challenge,” Whumper said, as another face poked into the door and held up a roll of packing tape. “Who needed this?” the new face asked.

“Give it here,” said the first officer. The tape was tossed his way, and he pulled Whumpee up by the hair and made swift work of stretching the tape over his mouth and wrapping it tight and thick around his head.

“You really oughta come out of retirement,” the second officer said, his tone as casual as if they were discussing the weather. “You want challenges, we got plenty to go around.”

“Nah,” said Whumper. “I prefer it on my own. Much less paperwork.”

The second officer laughed as the first one finished off the gag and stood to pass Whumper a small key. “Bring the cuffs back this time, all right?” he said.

“No promises,” Whumper said, pocketing the key. “You boys wanna help me get him out to the car?”

“Sure thing.” The officers moved to haul Whumpee up off the floor, the first grabbing him behind the shoulders while the second took his legs. “And make sure and keep better track of your valuables from now on,” the first officer continued. “If someone else found him first, they may not have the decency to give him back.”

“Yeah, yeah.” They pushed through a door at the end of the hall that led out to a parking lot behind the station, and Whumpee’s struggles began anew, but they proved useless. Whumper popped his trunk open with his keyfob as soon as they were outside, and all too soon, Whumpee was tossed unceremoniously inside. The hood slammed shut above him, leaving him in blackness and silence.

TW - feral behavior, attempted mauling, tasing,

Me at my job:

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