Changes
Chapter 60
The light outside the windows was bright. The sun hit the white snow on the ground, causing the perfect sparkle. I sat comfortably on the sofa with a hot cup of tea nestled in my hands while Alexander sat in his play pin, surrounded by toys. The television was on but mostly for background noise. I was having a hard time paying attention to anything but my sweet boy, though occasionally I stole glances at the Christmas tree.
The tree was huge- bigger than anyone I had ever owned and it was real, which was also new to me. The smell of pine filled the living room and kitchen constantly and I had no complaints.
I leaned further back into the couch, taking a deep breath as I shut my eyes for just a moment. This year had gone so fast. Alexander had been born in May and I was having a hard time believing that almost seven months had passed already.
My eyes shot open as my phone began to ring. I smiled as I saw the picture on the screen, answering the FaceTime call immediately.
“Hello, handsome,” I answered.
“Hey, babe,” Taron greeted. He offered a grin of his own. “How’s my lovely wife?”
“Exhausted but good.” My eyes shifted from the screen, checking on Alexander.
“Did you sleep at all last night?” Taron questioned. He tried to hide the concern but there was no use. I recognized it immediately.
“Couple hours,” I said sheepishly. “I napped when Alex did though.”
Taron sighed. “You need sleep, Rose. I know it’s a struggle sometimes but you need it.”
At Taron’s words, Alexander began to babble. He turned himself around, reaching for me. I sat the phone down and stood up, pulling Alexander from the pin and putting him on my lap. I held up the phone again and both boys smiled.
“There he is!” Taron exclaimed. “Are you taking care of your mummy?” Alexander squealed, revealing a few teeth. The two went back and forth though I began to zone out.
“Babe. Babe? Rose?”
“Huh?” I blinked furiously and focused on my phone. “Sorry. Just sort of… yeah…”
Taron frowned. “It’s okay. Promise me you’ll try and sleep tonight.”
I nodded in agreement. “Okay.” Alexander began to squirm so I put him back in his play pin, focusing on him rather than my phone. “Three more sleeps, right?”
Taron stayed quiet. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him shifting in his seat.
“T… Only three more sleeps until Christmas Eve. You’ll be home on Christmas Eve, right?” I asked as I looked at him again. The look on his face said everything. “Babe, it’s his first Christmas… You can’t miss it.”
“I want to be there. I want to celebrate Christmas with you both,” he started. “One of the director’s assistants said they had my ticket and today I found out it had been double-booked. I’ve been looking all day to try and find a flight that will put me home Christmas Eve but every airline is booked.” He sighed, rubbing his eyes as he shook his head. “I know I can be home on the 26th, first thing in the morning!”
“That’s the day after Christmas, T.”
“I know… I’m so sorry. I’m trying to find another way, I promise you I am.”
My shoulders dropped, my heart sank and I looked away as I gave a little nod. “We’ll figure it out I guess,” I sighed. “I’m gonna get off here. Get us some dinner, maybe go to bed early…”
“Babe, it’s 4 in the afternoon.”
I tried to hide my disappointment but we both knew better. “Alex didn’t have his afternoon bottle so he’s probably hungry.” I was lying. I was hurt and sad but I didn’t want to make Taron feel worse about the situation.  “I’ll talk to you later. I love you.”
“I promise I won’t miss Alexander’s first Christmas, Rose. I love you too,” Taron answered, though there was confusion in his voice.
I ended the call before either of us could say anything else. I knew it wasn’t his fault but it didn’t make me any less upset.
I tossed the phone down on the couch and went to grab Alexander a bottle. I warmed it up, chewing on my lower lip as I tried to ward off my thoughts. After testing the warmth of the milk, I grabbed Alexander and pulled him to my lap again. I cuddled him close as he ate. He truly looked like Taron, especially when he smiled.
The rest of the night went smoothly. Alexander went down easy for the night and I opted for a bubble bath before I tried to sleep. I poured myself a glass of wine before running the bath water. As the tub filled, I checked my phone and read the few messages from Taron.
I’m so sorry for earlier. I’m trying to figure out how to fix this. I won’t let either of you down, I promise.
Give our boy a kiss from me. I wish I were there so I could run you a bath. I hope you can relax and get some sleep. Love you xx
I smiled softly and snapped a photo of the tub, bubbles growing as the water rose. I sent it to him, followed by a short message.
Great minds. I love you too.
Maybe I should’ve responded to the Christmas problem but I wasn’t sure what else I could say. So instead I undressed and lowered myself into the tub. I turned on Christmas music on my phone and sipped on my wine, humming along as I shut my eyes. My favorite Christmas song started to play- Please Come Home for Christmas by the Eagles. Normally I got excited to hear the song. This time… Not so much. All I could think of was Taron and the possibility that he wouldn’t be here for Alexander’s first Christmas.
I shoved the thought aside for the rest of the night and the next couple of days. It was Christmas Eve and I was doing everything that I could to keep myself and Alexander happy. He wasn’t quite old enough to understand everything but truth be told, it was more for me than him. We made cookies- well I made cookies and he ate the frosting before I had a chance to put any on the cookies. We built a gingerbread house, where Alexander ate the gingerbread man. I kept up my parents’ tradition of one gift on Christmas Eve, which were always new pajamas. I dressed our son in his Santa Claus covered pajamas and made our way to the living room.
The tree was plugged in, the multicolored lights shining brightly and showing off all the ornaments and presents sitting proudly under the tree. I sat Alexander on the ground as I grabbed all the throw pillows and sat them on the ground in front of the sofa before grabbing the copy of The Night Before Christmas. I flipped off the lights, leaving the dim lights under the cabinets in the kitchen on and lowered myself down to sit in front of the sofa. I leaned back against the pillows and pulled Alexander closer to me.
“Hi, sweet boy,” I cooed, kissing him on the top of the head. “You ready for your first time hearing this classic?” Alexander let out a little squeal, clapping his hands together. I grinned and began the story. “Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature was stirring. Not even a mouse…”
I carried on, accepting Tux at my other side and giving him scratches under his chin. Alexander barely made it through the whole story before falling asleep at my side. I laid down more, carefully cradling Alexander. I managed to pull the blanket off the sofa and over our laps as I held my boy.
I turned on Christmas music, letting it play softly as I laid there and took in the beauty of the Christmas tree. The longer I laid there, the more reluctant I was to move. I didn’t want to wake Alexander and I was growing tired myself. Finally I let myself begin to doze off.
I stirred, hearing something in the house. I checked around for Tux but he was nowhere to be seen. I assumed whatever the noise was had come from him before moving Alexander on to my chest. He stayed asleep the whole time, his pacifier in his mouth. I smoothed his hair and shut my eyes again, keeping my arms around him. I knew I needed to put Alexander in his crib but I wanted to take in as many cuddles with him as I could.
Sleep was threatening to take over again. I did my best to fight it off by focusing on everything around me. The tree, the music, the decorations in the room, Alexander snoozing… The feeling was magical but I was missing Taron more than anything. I let out a gentle sigh at the reminder that I had no clue when he’d be home. I kissed Alexander on the head again, reminding myself that I would still give him the best Christmas I could.
I heard a noise again, turning my head toward the direction of the entry way. I furrowed my brows, waiting patiently for Tux to appear on one of his late night run throughs of the house. I gave him a minute but he never came so I turned my attention back to the tree. I yawned, wondering if it was time to put Alexander and myself to bed.
“There he is!” A gentle voice came from the opening of the living room.
My head turned quickly, landing on the figure standing there. I slapped a hand to my mouth and did my best to stay quiet.
Taron shrugged off his coat and hurried to the spot beside me on the ground. He pulled the blanket over his lap and slid his arm under my neck and shoulders. He placed a kiss on my cheek and put a careful hand on Alexander’s back. He raised his phone, checking the time. “11:59, still Christmas Eve.” He smiled proudly at me.
A wave of relief ran through me. My shoulders relaxed and the breath it seemed like I was holding finally went free. “You made it,” I said quietly.
“With time to spare. Did you know that a train ride from Barcelona to London is about 12 hours?” He asked.
I shook my head, letting out a soft chuckle. “You rode a train for 12 hours?”
“I promised I wouldn’t miss his first Christmas,” Taron said, kissing my temple again and snuggling in close. The time on his phone ticked over to midnight, leaving Taron to look at me again. “Merry Christmas, baby.”













