#taopp revised

Lyrics: I’VE FOLLOWED ALL THE RULES. I’VE DONE THE BEST I CAN. A WHISPER IN THE PERFECT EAR, WHILE WAITING FOR THE PERFECT MAN… I’VE MADE IT PRETTY FAR BUT WHEN PUSH COMES TO SHOVE I’M STILL NOT WHERE I WANTED. I HAVE EVERYTHING BUT LOVE.

THE MOMENT I KNEW WHO I WAS, I WANTED TO LIVE HERE. ROMANCE HAPPENED AT THE PALACE. PEOPLE DANCED THERE WITHOUT FEAR. I WORKED AS A CLERK, A SERVANT, A SCRIBE, EARNED THE PLACE I WAITED FOR I THOUGHT ALL MY TROUBLES WERE OVER WHEN I FIRST WALKED THROUGH THAT DOOR.

I SAW SATIN GLOVES AND SWEET PERFUME CHANDELIERS IN EVERY ROOM LEMON TREES THAT SOFTLY BLOOM I SAW EVERYTHING BUT LOVE

IT DIDN’T TAKE ME LONG TO FIND OUR LOVE WAS STILL AROUND. SECRET NOTES IN CODED LETTERS, KISSING SOFT WITHOUT A SOUND. BUT I NEED MORE THAN SHADOWS. I WANT TO BE IN THE LIGHT! I THOUGHT THE KING WOULD LISTEN IF I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT.

NOW I HAVE SOME FRIENDS I’M PROUD TO KNOW CANDLELIGHT AND EVENING GLOW STRAWBERRIES IN THE SNOW I HAVE EVERYTHING BUT LOVE EVERYTHING BUT LOVE

I’VE EATEN A HUNDRED INSULTS I’VE SWALLOWED A THOUSAND BITES I’VE LAUGHED AT JOKES THAT BURN ME I’VE CRIED FOR COUNTLESS NIGHTS I’VE SAID WHATEVER’S NEEDED I’VE STILLED MY ACHING HEART AND NOW BECAUSE OF A VICIOUS RUMOR I’M RIGHT BACK AT THE START!

MAYA: WHAT AM I THINKING? THIS WAS THE PLAN. THIS WAS ALWAYS THE PLAN. PLAY BY THE RULES ‘TILL YOU’RE WANTED FIND A PURPOSE TO SERVE FIND A CROWN, FIND A MAN FIND A HUSBAND TO SERVE FIND AN HEIR, FIND A MAN

SO WHAT IS THE PROBLEM NOW? WHO IS THIS PERSON WHO BEGS TO BE FREE OF THIS ROLE, THIS ROUTINE? A PRINCESS IMPOSSIBLE MADE TO BE QUEEN.

THIS FACE WILL BECOME A PORTRAIT TO BE HUNG IN THE ANCESTORS’ HALL FOR PEOPLE TO WALK BY AND SAY MY NAME BUT NOT KNOW WHAT I FELT LIKE AT ALL.

SO, GOD, WHAT WAS IT FOR? ALL THE SITTING HERE WAITING FOR THE CHANCE TO EXPLORE WHAT I AM OR WHAT I MEAN? A PRINCESS IMPOSSIBLE NEVER A QUEEN

DEEP IN THE MIRROR THERE’S SOMEONE– NOT A QUEEN OR A KING OR A KNIGHT– I’D GO AND BE HER IF I COULD JUST SEE HER! BUT NOTHING I LOOK LIKE LOOKS RIGHT.

YOU BUILD YOUR LIFE UP BRICK BY BRICK. YOU LIVE IN THE MIDDLE AND DON’T MIND THE END. YOU COULD BE A LOVER YOU COULD BE A FIGHTER YOU PROBABLY WON’T, BUT IT’S NICE TO PRETEND. SO WHY, WHEN THE FUTURE BECOMES THE NOW IS IT STILL SO HARD TO LET GO? I ALWAYS KNEW THOSE WERE NOTHING BUT DREAMS BUT PART OF MY HEART STILL DOESN’T KNOW.

JASON:

I’VE BEEN ALONE A LOT THESE DAYS. THAT’S NOT MY STYLE. I LISTENED TO PEOPLE PASSING BY. I WORKED HARD TO DISAPPEAR. IF YOU LISTEN HARD ENOUGH, YOU CAN’T HEAR ANYTHING. IT’S MY JOB TO LISTEN, NOT TO HEAR.

I’VE BEEN ALONE A LOT THESE DAYS. IT’S NOT GOOD FOR ME. YOU MISS THE THINGS YOU USED TO HATE. SOME SANDY BREAD, A BOOK, A DRINK. I LIKED TO READ ENOUGH TO KNOW THE WORLD. IT’S MY JOB TO KNOW THINGS, NOT TO THINK.

BUT I’VE BEEN THINKING - WHAT IF I DID IT? I DON’T REMEMBER THAT NIGHT. AND YOU SAID - WELL - IT COULD BE TRUE. I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S IN MY HEAD. I DON’T KNOW WHAT I COULD DO.

I’VE BEEN ALONE A LOT THESE DAYS. IT HELPS ME THINK. LIKE HOW AM I HERE, IF THINGS WERE SO GOOD? WHEN A SWORD MISSES, THE SWORD’S NOT TO BLAME. THE GUARDS DOWN HERE ARE JUST HIRED SWORDS. IT WAS MY JOB TO SWING IT, NOT TO AIM.

BUT I’VE BEEN THINKING - WHO IS TO BLAME? THE BOOKS ALL SAY IT WAS ALWAYS THIS WAY BUT YOU SAID - WELL - WE DID THIS SOMEHOW. I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE I’VE DONE. I DON’T KNOW IF IT MATTERS NOW.

WHEN YOU’RE IN THE MACHINE, YOU DON’T ASK WHAT IT MAKES. YOU DON’T ASK WHERE IT COMES FROM. YOU DON’T ASK WHAT IT TAKES. WE ALL HAVE OUR ORDERS. WE ALL WANT TO STAY ALIVE. BUT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I KILLED MYSELF JUST TRYING TO SURVIVE.

AND I’VE BEEN THINKING - WAS IT SO GOOD? WHEN TOMORROW WAS LIKE YESTERDAY AND YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE. I NEVER THOUGHT MY LIFE WAS PERFECT BUT I THOUGHT MY LIFE WAS FAIR. BUT MAYBE ALL WE EVER HAD WAS THE PRIVILEGE NOT TO CARE.