First Kisses & Awkward Conversations
so,,, aishlynn/talitha is something of a guilty pleasure ship of mine. & this is a highly self-indulgent piece taking place pre-canon (though it is decidedly NOT canon) & explores how they might get together if it were ever to happen in story. (which they don’t because talinora is my MVP but you know)
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Aishlynn didn't know how it started. One minute, they were arguing—spewing vitriol that never truly landed, or, if it didn't, didnt wound. The next, her back was against the wall, her hands knotted in the back of Talitha's jacket. The kiss was feverish, passionate. There was something fierce to it. Not anger, but—it was just the right amount of harsh. It was everything Talitha brought out in her at once.
One of Talitha's hands was knotted in her hair. The other, braced against the wall by Aishlynn's hip. One of her thighs was between Aishlynn's legs. Anyone else and Aishlynn would have felt boxed in.
But this was Talitha. No matter how much they fought, no matter what was said… Talitha would never hurt her.
Talitha's tongue pushed into her mouth and Aishlynn moaned. Talitha was— she tasted like salt and the red wine she drank in the evenings. Her smell was old books and sea air, and it surrounded Aishlynn.
She was—
Her belly was warm, her face heated. Her heart raced in her chest. She didn't… she'd never kissed someone before, never felt like this before. It was…
It was…
It was wonderful. Talitha was experienced. Even if Aishlynn hadn't seen her chase men and women at the ports they visited, this kiss would have tipped her off. She knew just how to move, just when to take breaks to breathe. Noses still bumped, teeth still clacked—but it was so much less awkward than she had always imagined.
Talitha untangled her hand from Aishlynn's hair; slid her plan down Aishlynn's side in a way that made her shiver.
Talitha popped the button on Aishlynn's pants—and she didn't think. She just reacted, shoving Talitha away in one hard motion.
Talitha stumbled back. The look of surprise on her face would have been comical if Aishlynn didn't feel like her heart was fit to burst.
She wanted to run. She was going to run, a second away from launching herself towards the door—but Talitha spoke, and halted her movements before they could start.
"Too far?" she asked, voice a rasp that shouldn't have had Aishlynn shivering… yet. There she was.
"I'm not… I don't…" It shouldn't have been hard to say, I'm not into sex. It wasn't something Aishlynn was ashamed of. It had taken years, but she'd come to terms with it. She didn't find people sexually attractive. In fact, any time she thought about engaging in a sexual act, she mentally recoiled in disgust. It just… wasn't for her.
For some reason, though, words were failing her. She had never had to admit it to another person before. Well—that wasn't true. She had told Lys—and Lys was the one who helped her to come to terms with it. But she'd never told anyone else. Had never saw the need to.
Talitha, though. She was waiting patiently, looking as if she wanted to hear what Aishlynn had to say. Odd—given how much she liked the sound of her own voice.
(That wasn't fair. Talitha could be a good listener, if the moment was right.)
"I don't— Sex isn't…" She bit her lip, frustrated. She wanted to cry—but as usual, the tears didn't come. Why was this so hard? She took a breath. Tried again. "I'm not…" How to phrase it?
'I'm not into sex?' She was a virgin, Talitha knew that. Had asked, once, actually. Kind of. She'd asked about sexual history and Aishlynn had told her she didn't have one. So. She knew.
She could say, 'I don't want that.' But maybe that wasn't clear enough—she might think it would be on the table one day, and it wouldn't be.
Maybe… 'I don't want to have sex with you?' But that singled her out. It might offend her—and maybe she wouldn't take it personally, but maybe she would. Despite how much they argued, Talitha was one of Aishlynn's closest friends. In fact; she was the only other friend that Aishlynn had, besides Asa. She didn't want to lose that.
"You're thinking too much." Talitha interrupted her thoughts. Talitha's face was strangely soft—or, maybe not so strangely. She really did have a lot of empathy, despite the arrogant way she acted. "Just say what you need to say, Aish. We'll work it out."
"I don't like sex," Aishlynn blurted, as if Talitha's words had been what she needed to hear the whole time. She took another breath, and said, "I've never had it, I know that. But every time I've thought about doing it… I just… can't. I never understood why it was that people acted like it was the most amazing thing in the universe—I thought for sure they had to be exaggerating or making it up. It's always seemed disgusting and uncomfortable to me."
Talitha listened patiently, nodding along at parts. When Aishlynn was finished, she waited a few beats as if to make sure she was really done, before she said, "If you don't want to have sex, then we won't. But that kiss was pretty good, and I would like to continue doing that if you'd like."
"But won't you… you know." Aishlynn nodded her head towards Talitha's crotch. It wasn't the most mature way of asking—but she was already so flushed and flustered that it was all she could muster.
Talitha snorted. "Get aroused? Yeah. But it isn't like I haven't made do with my hand before."
Aishlynn wrinkled her nose at the crass mention. "Ugh. Get back over here and put your mouth to better use."
Talitha laughed—and did just that.
