#talktive

Tagging: @blamedorange, @biganimeaesthetictree, @mike-remington-hanson, @yamireiki, @moon--bug, @louiserandom, @the-con-she-called-conscience, @hellbubu, @fleventes, @copperfangs, @lemongrass-and-cedarwood, @ushibabie, @bokutosanowo, @nightmareupondaydream, @bananaaddictmilkshake, @akayauchiha, @nanaworld, @nobodysperfect2133 and anyone else who wants to do this!

My baby Daisy 😍 #selfie #withmeowmyyy #meowgram #talktive #blessedlife #gingerbear #daisyflower #cutekittyface #adventurousgirl #catchlizard #huntress #1andhalf #dailykitten #playfulkitty #gingerpower #lights_camera_paws #dailypurr #roll #bellyrubsplease #meowed https://www.instagram.com/p/CKJzlcsJ6GV/?igshid=5rtjkpwqttfe

F*CK Sugar! #notingoodmood #badmood #coffee #coffeetalk #talktive #loners #blackcoffee #latte #sugar #fucksugar #SoloSquare #KotaSolo #nightlife (di Solo Square)

Why do you want to become talkative and outgoing? Answer that question first. Your time is short and you shouldn't waste it doing something that you don't truly want to do.  Don't try and do this because someone else wants you to. You'll hate yourself in the future for caving in to someone else's demands. Don't do it because you want to be the center of attention. I wasted a lot of time learning how to make people laugh and then having no real friends or anyone to actually talk to when I needed someone for my first year.  Don't become something you don't want to be I guess is what I'm saying. Don't wear a mask you don't want. It hurts to wear one you don't like. You have to want it. For me I wanted to be like my hero Bill Clinton who mesmerized people on and off the podium. I wanted to be able to effortlessly connect people to other people and guide people to where they should be going.  So personally I believe only acceptable answer is something along the lines of 'I want to be able to reach out to others to create meaningful connections and figure out where they want to be (and why after you get good enough at it) and help send them off on their way'.  So the best way to have something to talk about is to go and do things with your life so you have real experiences to talk about and more importantly the confidence from pushing your comfort zone and growing as a person. Assuming you do absolutely nothing worth talking about, examples. Sign up for a MOOC in a subject you know nothing about. Sign up for a dance class. Make an android app. Travel in an adjacent country. Because it's all well and fine to listen mostly. But at some point they'll ask what you do with your life and a blank stare will scare people away. And now you go and talk to people. Fail your way forward. When I started I asked people if they played Angry Birds. I quickly realized I needed more relate-able and interesting things to talk about. So I read random technical books and journals and started break dancing and it got better.  In the real world, most people who are worth meeting (because they do interesting things and have goals of some sort, READ: YOU), who respect themselves and their time (and consequently your time) don't want to sit around and talk about life with you for hours and hours (unless you happen to be running a marathon together or something of that sort). Not until they know you very well/are very comfortable with you at least/are your good friends. And most of them won't click with you so there's no point trying to force it. Just send them off on their way and maybe they'll pay you back sometime. So onto the talking. It's fine to chit chat for a little bit just to establish some rapport and make sure that both parties are not insane but then figure out where both parties want to go and how you can help each other. It might not necessarily be in a professional context. If you find someone just moved over and loves to play tennis and you run the damn tennis club you invite them to come.  If you're at some sort of event with lots of people mingling you should limit yourself to 10, 15 minutes at maximum unless you two REALLY hit it off. If you're doing something more isolate like, running an ultramarathon and keeping each other motivated then it's fine to stay the entire time.  Most important is to make sure to follow up. Write little notes if necessary but it's best to train your memory. Just those 3 things. It's always your job to follow up until you become a billionaire/Fortune 500 CEO/governor/someone people will follow up on. And then you should still follow up out of habit unless you're so busy you need a secretary/intern to do so for you. It's slow at first. Like raking up interest in a bank but as you meet more and more people, so long as you remember 1. name 2. where they want to be 3. what they offer, the probability that you will be able to help someone new increases dramatically and your network's value compounds exponentially from there.  One last thing.  A common mistake the poor make is to not network their friends and friend their network.  Let me explain. You want your best friends to succeed. What is good for them, if they are people of character, is good for you. Only good things can happen if for example, you do something that makes your best friend a billionaire. You want your best friends to introduce you to your next clients, your potential spouse, your potential business partners. And vice versa. People make decisions based on how much they like other people and then rationalize them away. All the important decisions in life are made behind closed doors by people with faces about people with faces who may or may not hide behind corporate entities/NGOs/etc. And this is how you bypass screens/wastes of time for people who don't understand how the world really works, like job application scanning software, resume bins, free networking events (In general the value of a networking event is positively correlated to how hard it is to get in. The best ones you can't even pay for a ticket directly. You need to donate to a political campaign/a building/know someone who knows someone, etc.) Good luck! P.S. Financial incentives might work for you also. I pitched getting sponsored to go on dates with girls to my mother's friends who adored me and it worked so I ended up going on lots of dates and to lots of restaurants.  P.P.S. It helps if you keep your eye on the prize and train yourself to not be afraid to fail. We were all beginners once. Also realize that I did this for 4 hours every day during college instead of going to class regularly (I convinced people to share their notes with me/dropped tape recorders next to the professor). You have to be committed and stay committed to your goals.

Fide Sed Cui Vide~