On Talking to Essek
Was having a chat with my sister about Caleb and Shadowgast:
Sis: Caleb is dying for love...
Me: It's actually pretty concerning because if the party isn't careful He's going to be very susceptible to Astrid manipulating him. TBH I think part of the reason I'm so dead-set on Astrid being evil is that I think it would just be really, really unhealthy for Caleb to reconnect with her.
Sister: if they were sexually abused together (which they all were) reconnecting with a fellow victim in the same way you did when you were abused... (could be a) recipe for disaster, that's what.
Me: Well one of the big things is... They've been trapped in that trauma. And Caleb has very, very obviously only just begun to heal from it. Deeper associations with them could cause him to start going backwards fast. One of the things that is frustrating is that I don't even think the Blumentrio's sexual abuse will ever be directly addressed. Caleb sort of hinted at it during the Avantika mess, but... he doesn't even see it as a problem and I worry that if he reconnects with Astrid, she'll reinforce that.
Sis: No, they tend to try and steer clear of those topics.....
Me: Astrid is so manipulative. Almost everything out of her mouth drips with it just like Trent. Caleb doesn't need that.
Sis: No, they aren't avoiding addressing them like the plague the way they are with Caleb's issues. But yeah, I got so annoyed when Astrid stopped Caleb from talking about how she was "next in line"
Me: It's true; they (the party) deliberately avoid talking to Caleb in-depth about things, which is... really damaging, tbh. From Caleb's perspective, it probably makes him feel justified in his own self-loathing/shame because his friends can't even stand to talk about it straight-up with him like they can with each other's problems, which isn't fair but that's the impression it gives off.
Sis: It's why Beau's the healthiest for Caleb atm. Blunt when addressing things and supporting him when he opens up.
Me: Part of the problem is that he's so afraid of moral condemnation from Caddy and dropping in Jester's estimation that he actively avoids it, but... I think he could try talking more with Fjord or Beau maybe. Caleb is genuinely worried about Caddy deciding that Caleb is too morally stained to be associated with.
Sis: Oh, buddy... Caddy doesn't judge. He makes you better.
Me: Caddy does admonish. It was also loosely implied that Caleb doesn't want to be the reason that Caduceus leaves the party- after all, Caddy finished his family mission already.
Sis: I do wish he'd reach out to Caddy. Cad is the key to his recovery and the freedom from his past shame. I just know it.
Me: I do wonder though what would happen if he confided in ESSEK first, though. It's hard to say how Essek would even react to finding out just how vile the people he was working with are.
Sis: Would be a good way to try and break it to him.
Me: Imagine telling an elf that you were groomed (including sexually) and mutilated at age 16.
Sis: "Hey your crush was severely abused by the people you're working with."
Me: He'd be horrified, I think, because that would be like a baby to him. Baby Caleb.
Sis: I mean, he was already mortified at having to address his friends. Confess his sins to people who thought well of him. Who spared his life and then learning that the one who pulled you out of that was a victim of the people you're working for? I don't know enough about Essek to know what he'd do, but for certain I'd want him to prioritize his own safety.
Me: To me Essek did not seem to have a firm grasp on the horrors that the Assembly commits.
Sis: I don't think that anyone who isn't already a victim of theirs does.
Me: I think that, while there wasn't really a good time to talk about it, Caleb really ought to sit him down and have a frank talk with him about it. To at the very least explain why the MN reacted so hard to the reveal that he was the spy, because from Essek's perspective... he knows that Caleb used to be affiliated with the Scourgers, but he doesn't necessarily know what that means... and to him, it probably seems like the MN are just upset about the war in general. He didn't seem to understand that this was a much more personal betrayal, however unintended. He sees Caleb is in pain, but he doesn't know the first thing about what that pain is.
...
Me: Talk about your trauma, Caleb don't just stew in it... Oh. He should invite Essek up to the 8th floor of the tower.
Sis: ........ oh my god
Me: That would do it. That would make Essek realize... I think Eseek needs a more grounded understanding about the suffering of the people in the Empire.
Sis: Essek should be brought to the 8th floor though.
