#talking tv

The one who doesn't talk.

Here are my thots thus far

1) If these adorable fuckers were my coworkers I’d be 15 mins early every day with coffee.

2) The racist guy (former coal miner, current ringleader who seems to hate all his own minions he’s just constantly insulting them it’s kinda funny) literally talks to and looks at Raylan likes he wants to make out with him so bad it makes him look stupid. The first thing he says to him is that he looks amazing (and asks his lil minion why he’s so shit by comparison…he’s like…why aren’t you this hot, you loser) tells him he trusts him, and after Raylan shoots him he basically thanks him for it. This fucker is in *love* love.

3) That blonde girl is goddamned hilarious. “Damn woman, you only shoot people when they’re eatin supper?”

Yes. Yes she does.

As she should.

4) everyone has a crush on Raylan. Which. Let’s face it. That’s realistic. I hate when shows pretend insanely hot people are not insanely hot. Like that would not just be a normal person to see in small town Kentucky.

5) the show opens with Raylan shooting someone, which upends his life completely. We are led to believe this is a problem. Yet he shoots someone new every episode 😂😂 this is not a problem but it is hilarious.

6)Every crusty old convict has a wife/gf who is hot and devoted and twenty years younger. Must sting a bit for Raylan to keep happening across their romantic dramas while his hot ass wife presumably left him bc she was tired of his shit. Sorry buddy that you seem to lack the swag of these elderly felons 😂😭

HAEHAEHAEHAEHAEHAE

HEY H EY HEY!?1

H0WS- HOW5- HoWS- HOWS-HOWS1!

*there’s the sound of plastic roughly colliding with plastic, then nothing except static for another few moments.*

Who am I kidding…?

YOU D0N;T [[we don’t need e-mails]] ANysWAY.

TH1S WAS [silly string!]!1 [[crazy deals!!]] ABSOLUTE [[salted nuts for only $2.99!!]].

pl3ase- please I [[can’t stand the pain?]] silence…

- @foresakensalesman

[Once that jab he threw earlier is repeated back to him, something stilled in him.... Body practically going pale. He doesn't seem too sure of what happened between the phone ringing and him clutching it in his hand. Apparently he's all bark and no bite.]

I-I.... you.... You don't sound like... you CAN'T be...

[There's a long stretch of silence. Fading in slowly, is quick breathing that almost seems like... hyperventilating? Eventually, listening to the 'stranger's' pleas for Tenna to say something, anything, urge him to act. He gulps, finally plucking up the courage]

A-Aaah.. Ahm.... H-Hi. Is that really you...?

...

I-It's... nice to hear.... from you.

I guess.

[Is it, though? The next stretches of silence turn into contemplation. His thoughts flood him faster than a river after a broken dam. Fear. Hope. Rage.]

We know Spamton is a bit of a love-hate situation, but we know that you do miss your mailman

It seems like you have feelings for your new Lightener, I'm sure he'd like you too~ (he seems to have a thing for loveable Dorks that know how to cook to some degree)

And I highly doubt the entire Mike situation is entirely platonic~

Anyone else I'm forgetting?

[A defensive huff.]

First of all, I DON'T miss that mailman. Not at all. NOT! A HAIR!

Second of all, CRUSHES?! I do not CRUSH (often). I ENTERTAIN. I-

I-I...

.... Ahem.

You didn't miss that many, anon... //////////

((💙mod bonus:

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[throws my phoebetenna at you]

it's always pizza time