#talialghul

Tim: Where are Hood and Robin?

Dick: B’s on bedrest per Agent A’s orders, so Robin’s over in Crime Alley with Hood. They’re tracking down information on a big shipment of drugs Black Mask is trying to move.

Tim: *snorts* And B actually listened to Agent A?

Dick: Absolutely not. He tried escaping a dozen times before his bad knee gave out and he tumbled down the stairs. I was trying to take a power nap when I heard him go, “AAaaGhhh.”

Tim: *lets out a loud cackle* You’d think B would be better at sneaking out.

Dick: You’d also think the old man would retire… but here we fucking are.

(The comm pings. Giggling from Damian fills the line—eerie, unsettling—and Jason cusses loudly.)

Dick: Uh… hello???

Jason: Of a Bitch—I should have left you alone with the League, but noooo. Talia wanted me to escort you to Gotham. Have you be a normal kid. Get to know Bruce, and this is how you REPAY ME?

Damian: You are being dramatic, Akhi. You asked me a simple question, to which I provided a simple answer, and now you feign offense?

Tim: What are we talking about?

Jason: What did we tell you about eavesdropping, Timmy?

Tim: Hello? You’re the one that joined our com line.

Dick: What are you guys arguing about?

Jason: Damian said I wouldn’t survive a zombie apocalypse, which is stupid because I am immortal—

Damian: Immortality and immunity are not the same thing, you imbecile—

(A smack is heard over the com line. Damian yelps.)

Jason: You gotta be older than twelve to talk. Shut up. Anyways, I’m immortal, so I’d obviously survive a zombie fucking apocalypse.

Tim: Sorry to break it to you, but Damian’s right. Immortal means you can’t die from old age; immune means you can’t be infected.

Dick: Yeah but Jason was dunked in the Lazarus Pit and that has crazy effects. Right, Damian?

Damian: Yes. Your point?

Dick: My point is that what if when he had his little swim in the Pit, he was able to obtain some super immunity to shit? That's not entirely impossible.

Jason: See? See, Damian. Someone agrees with me.

Damian: Idiocy does indeed love company...

Tim: *laughs*

Jason: Tim, you're the type of jackass who would get bitten in a zombie apocalypse and not tell anyone.

*Dick giggling*: He'll keep it a secret until the last minute and be like ' wait guys please. I meant to tell you."

Tim: What? If that's how it is, I'd quietly leave the group.

Damian: Tim is the individual who would trip over a tree branch and very melodramatically announce " Go on without me."

Tim: Hell no. I'm making a fucking scene if no one's helping me.

Jason: How are you gonna make a scene in a fucking zombie apocalypse if noise attracts them, dumbass?

Tim: GOOD. YOU BETTER HELP MY ASS THEN.

Dick: I'm going to be so honest...you're on your own.

Damian: I am walking away.

Tim: I'm screaming at the top of my lungs and they're getting you too.

Dick: No because do you remember last week on patrol? I accidentally stepped on your ankle and you threw me off the Batburger roof.

Damian: *laughs* Is that why you hobbled into the Cave looking miserable? You would not speak of what happened.

Dick: Yeah cause Tim tried to murder me-

Tim: That isn't what happened! That hurt though.

Dick: You know what else hurt? My feelings when you shoved me.

Tim: Good.

Dick: I'm stepping on the other ankle.

everyone should go check out their blogs because they are brilliant.

SEBASTIAN - best person ever. clever and into the most wonderful obscure otps and fandoms and has great taste in fashion and tea.

KELLY - stunningly brilliant girl who has never been anything but amazingly kind to me. reads the most excellent books and takes beautiful photos.

ANGELA - we have been friends for like, 10 years now. introduced me to Doctor Who and loads of other brilliant things.

BRITTENAE - reconnecting with her has made my time back in Virginia infinitely better. this girl is amazing in every way. and hilarious.

AUDREY - girl knows how to photoshop. also she's hilarious and cool and gave me real hope for the future of my university when she showed up.

SARA - i would drink tea and eat cake with her forever, while also discussing an all cat version of The Great Gatsby. try and tell me that wouldn't be magnificent.

BECKY - we have a lot in common, so that should tell you how cool and fun this girl is. she has excellent taste in men.

BRITTA - once we sat in a Steak and Shake and talked about Jeremy Renner's arms for like, half an hour. she rocks.