#taking leave

A couple of days ago I found two gifs of Mark Gatiss loose on the internet. Not from a tumblr page, nor any website with a creditable name. I then uploaded these two gifs onto my dashboard and it gained a tiny bit of attention (less than 20 notes).

From here, I ended up getting an individual who claimed the gifs were hers- and I’m not doubting this, it’s whatever- and then proceeding to comment a url to the original post.

Great. That’s fine! Absolutely okay!

I merely then stated that the url didn’t work for me. But I apologised on my post, proceeded to ask if the individual would still like me to put their name down as credit, even though I didn’t get the gifs directly from her and had no form, therefore, of knowing who originally made them.

I had no answer. I then scrolled through my own dashboard and saw that this individual had made an entire new post with the whole of the gifset they had made with a smaller caption, at the time, of simply stating that they’d seen a post go round with two of their gifs and so she was re-posting the original.

Again, this is absolutely fine. No worries.. but I proceeded again to apologise, offer to give credit or, alternatively, just delete the post. I, again, had no answer.. but then saw that another comment had been added, indirecting me about taking the gifs and stating that people should give credit “and no- the ‘internet’ doesn’t count”. As though it was like I was lying about where I had found the gifs- I wasn’t. Trust me, I’m not that desperate for gifs, nor feigning recognition for running a three second video through an app to make it into a gif.

Once again, I apologised. I took down the post, reiterated that I genuinely didn’t find them on tumblr or anything alike, said sorry once more for the confusion and even reblogged their post stating my apology, outlined my mistake, and encouraged others to instead return to the original post and share from there instead.

I haven’t heard back from the individual at all during this, despite it being a fairly long time since I messaged and they have made other posts/comments or whatever since. I will now be taking the action to simply block them and get on with it- which is something I didn’t think I’d have to due as I usually love my interaction with the tumblr community.

I just never expected to be so rudely indirected and ignored following an honest mistake in which my apologies were ignored, despite my removal of what they claim I “stole”. Frankly, I feel pathetic even making this post, but I understand we have mutual pages in common and I just want to make it clear that I am not a bad person. I admit to my mistakes and errors, apologise for them, and rectify the situation to the best of my ability.

And I know it’s not really the point, and I know some people get more possessive over others about things.. but the fact this has come about over a gif is what has upset me more. Nothing would stop me taking literally about 3 minutes of my time to screenrecord the EXACT time stamp of the video in which this gif came from, and running it through a free app on my phone to make it a gif.. thus, making it my own. If it was an original piece of art work I found, honestly I’d accept any slander I received. As an artist, I’d be gutted seeing something that took hours of my time gaining attention without being credited.. but this was two gifs.. probably took no more than 5-10 minutes to make the entire set. By using an app and a public video available to everybody.

I just.. I’ve been having an awful time in my life with my mental health, and maybe this is why I’m taking it to heart a bit more. But being targeted by somebody over double my age over something so tiny has really upset me, especially since I tried all I could to rectify and apologise for it.

I won’t be on here for a while now. I need to sort my head out and let this blow over. I know it sounds dumb, but I just can’t be on here right now. Apologies to people enjoying my fics, I know I said I’d update soon, but I’m just not in the right headspace.

If you’re just going to comment negative stuff, don’t. Please. If you’re just going to forward this on to the person I blocked. There’s no point. I’ve apologised, I’ve deleted the post, and they’ve chosen not to accept. If they still make comments about me, I don’t want to know. If you can’t accept that this has upset me, just block me- I don’t want to have to deal with negativity on an account that has been my comfort for over four years now on a website I’ve loved for so much longer.

I’m going to delete the tumblr app and be completely inactive for a few days at the very least. Sorry again to the person I upset, sorry if you truly thought I stole something you had made intentionally, and sorry to anyone who I’ve upset in the process. Sorry for making this post.

See you whenever,

It may be noted that in the winter Tooti’s secret room contained fifty pistol cartridges, three sparking plugs, Ham’s best bark boat, the tools for the Honda, the barometer and father’s statuette.

Like most love poems This one is gilded by loss.

In between terrible queries I've been amazed

The way one hopes to be Before the end.

Tonight, your lips Are a perfect glyph

For life on earth; My thoughts a caul of bees.

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