Cotillion, Sunday 5-6-2016
âLastly, Zoe Elizabeth HamiltonâŠâ
My heart raced against my chest as my name rolled off the introducerâs lips.
ââŠDaughter of Joseph Jerome Hamilton, the son of the duke of oxford and Gabriella Anne Scott, owner of fashmag..â
I could hear my heart pulsing in my ears with every other sound being faintly heard as if I was under water and with the suffocated feeling that made my chest rise it almost felt like it was.
ââŠShe aspires to follow on her motherâs footsteps and she will be escorted by William Ludwig Luxemââ
âNo.â I said almost in a whisper yet somehow I was heard.
All the faces turned to me even though they were all latched onto me the minute I stepped into the building. My eyes wandered around the area, scanning the faces of all the socialites noticing their judgmental eyes darting towards me.
I instantly pointed out my brothers face from the crowd in which his expression was what Iâd describe as I know what youâre thinking about and I wish you wouldnât, but I have to. I felt my chest rising deeply as I gathered every ounce of courage I had bottled up all those years.
âMy lady, is everything alright?â the introducer whispered to me and I could tell from her expression that she was slightly concerned, but I know sheâs just worried about losing her job.
I looked down at her standing straight with confidence and cracked the most devious smile I could pull.
âI am not going to be escorted by him.â I stated and looked over at William and I can see him clenching his jaw at me. âIn fact, I am not going to be escorted by anyone at all.â I added looking back at the crowd.
âIâm sorry but traditions statesâŠâ the introducer tried to argue with me and I took a stepped down intimidatingly forcing her to pause, âtraditions can be alteredâ I told her and took the microphone from her, âI believe cotillion is about introducing us young womenââ I said motioning to the girls that were already introduced and right at this point I can hear everyone muttering to one another as they focused their eyes on me, ââto the doors of high society.â I finished my sentence exhaling a sigh.
I looked around examining every face in the crowd and I spotted my mother. I locked my eyes with hers and I can see her growing anger and I noticed how she had the same furrowed eyebrows my brother had standing behind her with his hand behind his back.
âI donât know about them, butâŠâ I paused flicking my eyes at my brother and mother as thought I was taking to them before moving them over the crowd, ââŠI wish to be introduced as an independent women thatâs capable of going through that door without an escort.â I concluded and took a deep breath calming myself.
âwe all know how this society of ours is only fit for the strongest and I may be 16, but believe me I know how vicious our society is to the weakâ I said almost muttering to myself, earning me few chuckles which in return grew my smile.
I sighed and added âI am the strongest when Iâm alone.â
Everyone went silent as my words sank into their minds, âand by alone I meant without a partner. I donât need a man or women in that matterâ i clarifed not discriminating sexual preferences because at the end of the day Iâm bisexual.
âAll I need is the support of my family and friendsâŠâ I paused and let my eyes follow my brother as he made way out of the ballroom glaring at my body guard standing at the far back. I sighed flicking my eyes around and continued, âBut if I ever do introduce a partner to my life it will be because I want to and not because I have to.â
I took a step down and decided to end it.
âAnd with that, you know who I am. You all know who I am the moment I was born, but if you donâtâŠâ
âjust know that Iâm that girl that escorted herself during cotillionâ I shrugged handing the women that was suppose to introduce me her mic before walking down the steps as everyone stepped back making a path for me.