#takeinu

 Well, technically it wasn't his chair, it was Inukawa’s. Each member of the club had their own chair that they always sat in; an outsider wouldn't have been able to tell the difference but the five - no, four - of them each knew the creaks and shifts of their chairs better than their time table. Months spent lounging, chatting and gaming in the rickety stools had seen each member gravitate towards and eventually settle in their favourite chair - however, in a rush of petty vindictiveness, they'd burned Takenaka’s after he quit the club. Now that he'd started to hang out with them again, he'd simply taken over Inukawa’s conveniently empty chair.

 He however hated that chair with a passion. Because the front left leg was just a bit shorter than the others and thus made the chair tilt whenever he shifted, because the back was too curved and made him slouch in a way that was definitely unhealthy, because the seat had a small chip that his pants kept snagging on...

 At least, those were the reasons he could bear thinking about. Easier on the mind than the feeling of wrongness he got from sitting in anothers’ place, of trying to replace someone who couldn’t simply be replaced; easier than the gaping hole left in the group by Inukawa’s absence. Easier than the crushing guilt that had kept Takenaka awake until late at night for the last two weeks.

 In short, he disliked the chair because it was Inukawa’s - in fact, the only thing keeping him from sitting on the floor was his pride, and even that was shrinking by the day...

  Don't think about him, Takenaka reminded himself and turned up the volume of his MP3 player. He'll be fine; Inukawa is smart and resourceful, plus he's always had that knack for languages. If he wants to come back, he'll make the aliens return him. If he wants to stay, he'll stay. Either way, there's nothing you can do.  

     But so many things I could have done…  

 “...naka. Oi, Takenaka!”

 Takenaka's head jerked up and he frowned at the sight of Tome glowering down at him.

 “What?”, he asked, pulling his headphones out of his ears and already searching for his normal plugs. “I said,” Tome grumbled, “we're out of snacks and it's your turn to buy new ones. I already told you yesterday, Wednesday is - was - Inukawa’s turn. Hop to it, space pumkin.”

 Takenaka rolled his eyes, stretching out his aching back. “Honestly, the amount of snacks you go through is insane. I’m amazed that you even-”

 Now I just  gotta tell the club. I wonder if they missed me...

 With a clatter, Takenaka fell from his chair. The other members immediately crowded around him with worry, but Takenaka pushed them aside roughly. “He - he's back!”, he stuttered out, then stumbled towards the door.

 Which was already sliding open. In the doorway stood Inukawa, wearing his school uniform and looking as if he'd never left.

 For a moment, everyone stood frozen - although their thoughts jumped back and forth so erratically that Takenaka felt a sharp stinging pain behind his eyes. Then Tome rushed forwards and caught Inukawa in a bone crushing hug. “Oh my God, Mameta! What took you so long?”

 That seemed to break the spell, because suddenly the whole club was clustered around their estranged member and bombarding him with questions, exclamations and teary-eyed hugs.

 Takenaka watched from the side, unable to do anything except mechanically push his plugs into his ears, immediately blocking out about half the clamor. He breathed in deeply, gathering himself, and clenched his hands to stop them from shaking. Then he said, as nonchalantly as he could, “Geez guys, give him some space. Calm down and let him sit, he can still tell us about his adventure then.”

 Inukawa looked up with surprise, but then smiled at him gratefully. “Yeah, that would be nice.”

 The others immediately made some space, and so they sat at the table, Takenaka pulling over a weight bench to sit on (and immediately wondering why he hadn’t thought of that before).

 “I guess I should start at day one? Well, after they took me to their planet-”

 Takenaka listened to the story like the others - meaning, using only his ears, not his powers. Part of that was simple politeness; it seemed rude, reading everything... surely there would be moments of his trip that Inukawa wanted to treasure only by himself.

 Part of it was Takenaka being afraid of what he’d find. Because he recognized the empty look in Inukawa’s eyes, the edge to his smile; the way his laugh seemed just slightly too loud. Takenaka had seen these things too often in the mirror not to recognize what they meant…

 Inukawa had experienced soul-crushing loneliness, the way you can only feel when you’re truly different from your surroundings. And Takenaka was not ready to break down in front of the telepathy club from listening to another’s emotions.

 It was an interesting story anyway; tales of banquets and fights and food and friendship kept the club members glued to their seats for an entire hour - then Tome and Kijibayashi excused themselves in order to study for finals, and promised to come back the next day to continue the conversation.

 Tome stopped though, before leaving, and ruffled Inukawa’s hair. “Glad to see you’re still the same old Inukawa. It would have been lame if you hadn’t come back.” Takenaka didn’t even know what to say to such blindness. Same old? Inukawa was back, for sure, but any close observer could tell he definitely wasn’t the same.

 Saruta looked from Inukawa to Takenaka and stood up. “I think I'll be going as well, if that's okay. I still wanted to check out a new comic book store at the station, and they close soon... “

 “Yeah, I guess we should all call it a day,” Inukawa agreed, stretching until his back made a cracking sound. “I'm still gonna be here tomorrow, haha.”

 He got up and went to follow Saruta, but Takenaka snapped to his senses and quickly said, “Ah, Inukawa? Could I talk to you for a sec?”

 “Huh? But we just-” Inukawa fell silent as his gaze jumped to Saruta’s and Tome’s receding backs and then back to Takenaka’s hesitant expression. “Ah, yeah, sure.”

 Takenaka licked his lips nervously, then pulled out his earplugs. For this, he didn't want any lies or misreadings, only Inukawa’s honest opinion. If he was going to catch Inukawas feelings - then that was a risk he was willing to take.

 As the others’ thoughts disappeared down the corridor, Takenaka stepped closer to Inukawa and told him, “Look - I'm really, really sorry about leaving you. I… it was so difficult, deciphering their thoughts, their thinking patterns are so different from humans - by the time I realized what they were doing I couldn't… ah, what am I saying.

 “I reacted too slowly - I should've been faster, and I'm truly sorry. I'm not trying to guilt you into forgiving me, I just wanted you to know that... “

 He trailed off, surprised, at the immediate (mental) answer. “Wait… you don't blame me? But -”

 “It was an accident,” Inukawa said dismissively. “Stuff like that happens pretty much on all trips, I was just unlucky enough to catch the worst possible outcome ever - I'm kidding,” he hastily corrected at Takenaka’s worried expression, “it wasn't that bad... “

 But it was, despite all the laughs and happy tales from before; it had been awful. Just saying it made Inukawa’s feelings surface, and so Takenaka felt the still-living echo of what Inukawa had gone through - the full and utterly crushing loneliness, the devastation and hopelessness and pain that Inukawa had endured… and was still enduring. Because emotions like that don't disappear in a day, and wounds like that take time to close.

 Inukawa tried to pull out quickly, to re-seal his feelings and switch topics, but Takenaka put a hand on his arm. “Hey. Don’t - you won’t heal if you keep repressing like that. It’s unhealthy.”

 Inukawa pulled his arm away, frowning. “It works for Mob.”

 “He also has a cryptid entity living in his subconscious that tears down the city if he gets too emotional,” Takenaka deadpanned. “You’re not okay and you need help.”

 “Well, what do you expect me to do?”, Inukawa responded with unexpected sharpness. “Walk up to a psychiatrist and say, ‘hey, I was kidnapped by aliens and now I need therapy’?”

 “Gee, maybe,” Takenaka snapped, “Sure sounds smarter than just trusting someone who’s felt alienated from society since he was five? I know what you’re feeling, and not just because I can read your heart.”

 Inukawa fell silent at that, guilty thoughts whizzing around inside his head. “But that's not - not all of it. At least, it'd be easier. I mean…”

 He didn’t finish his sentence out loud, but Takenaka heard anyway. “You don’t… remember all of it?”

 Inukawa shook his head. “My memory of the last four days of my stay is extremely blurry. The only reason I even remember the first six is because I kept a diary during that time. When I reread it yesterday, it awoke those memories… but the rest is still gone. I don’t even know how I got home; my memory starts at walking towards my house three days ago. But somehow, despite that, or maybe because of that, my emotions have remained from day one.”

 He swallowed and looked to the side. “You can see it, right? How I feel, all of it. How afraid I am. I've felt lonely and disconnected before, but never this bad, and never this long... What if I don't regain all of my memories, and have to stay like this forever? And what if I do regain my memories, but it changes nothing’?”

 He breathed in deeply and Takenaka felt him actively pushing down the bubbling mess of loneliness and anxiety. “You see? It doesn't help, because it can't change my situation. Not thinking about it is basically the only possible way to cope.”

 Takenaka smiled nervously. “Not if you have a telepath on your side.”

 Inukawa hesitated. He looked sceptical, but Takenaka saw a tiny seed of hope take root in his mind. “Oh really?”

 Takenaka nodded decisively, hoping he looked more confident than he felt. “Well I mean, I'm not an expert, but all that mind reading has made me fairly good at this kind of stuff - certainly better than any shrink you could drag up... In my opinion, you're probably dealing with trauma; repressed memory is a common symptom. Seeing as you're not an esper, I should be able to break the block in your mind, and probably even ease you through whatever fucked you up so bad… I mean, I have done it before,” he quickly added, seeing Inukawa’s doubtful expression. “My uncle, he was a soldier, and came back with no memory of the war he was in - he asked me for help, and I broke the wall. So, if you want, I can try for you.”

 Inukawa nodded, then frowned as Takenaka reached for his forehead. “Wait - you mean like, now?”

 Takenaka blinked. “I thought you wanted it over with.”

 “Well, yeah, but…” Inukawa shook his head. “Yeah, you're right. Why not.”

 Takenaka nodded, steeling himself, then flattened his palm against Inukawa’s forehead, breathed in deeply, and concentrated.

 Going into someone’s mind was always an odd feeling. Other people often assumed it was like walking through a museum, or an archive, all the thoughts and memories sorted and displayed prettily, ready for viewing… In truth, it was more like swimming underwater - murky and vague, thought currents pushing and pulling you every which way, opinions with jagged edges suddenly looming up in front of you, then disappearing again. Takenaka let himself be pulled along, swimming with the anxious and lonely currents, hoping to find their centre. He didn't have to wait long; the pull got stronger and stronger until suddenly his consciousness pressed against an uneven, tightly interwoven wall of emotion.

 Takenaka concentrated and pushed his energy into the wall, trying to make it burst. For his uncle, that had worked perfectly - because the wall, while appearing quite solid, was actually about as strong as a bubble against the magnitude of Takenaka’s power.

 With this wall, he received a nasty surprise instead. The wall pulled at him, trying to drain his powers, his strength, washing over him in an avalanche of despair and frustration. Takenaka jerked away, horrified - and found himself, yet again, on the floor of the clubroom.

 “Takenaka! Crap, are you alright?”

 Inukawa knelt next to him, hands hovering worriedly over Takenaka's s face and chest.  What do I do, I don't know what to -

 “I'm fine, it's fine,” Takenaka said, pushing the hands away with mild embarrassment. “I just... “

 He trailed off, and frowned, looking up at Inukawa. “That shouldn't have happened. This block, I've never seen anything like it. I mean - if it was a normal mind block, I should've been able to break it, easy. If it was guarded by an esper, or esper power, I wouldn't have been able to get in your mind at all. But this thing… it was like some kind of…  localized defense mechanism? Why on earth would you have that in your head? And how would it even get there?”

 Why’re you asking me? Aren't you the telepath?   Inukawa thought drily - then realized that, of course, Takenaka could still hear everything he was thinking. “Ah, sorry, I didn't mean… “

 He trailed off. “Why… are you staring at me like that?”

 Takenaka was staring at him like that because he'd finally realized what had been bothering him since the beginning of their conversation - and might actually be the explanation for all this weird stuff. Excitedly, he grabbed Inukawa's hands. “Do that again. Think something.”

 “I… what?”  Think something? What kinda request is that?

 “Wow,” Takenaka breathed disbelievingly, fingers now ghosting over Inukawa’s forehead as his suspicions were confirmed beneath his fingertips. “You actually… have an alien mind block in your head.”

 Inukawa stared at him. “What?”

 “I was thinking something was off about your thoughts… and then I realized - you have traces of the aliens’ thought patterns in there! That's why the block is so odd, and why I've never seen anything like it. They must have a psychic on their planet, or a telepath… maybe even something electronic? Something, or someone, that placed this block in your mind for whatever reason. Maybe to protect their secrets - or to protect you. I don't know, it doesn't matter anyway... but now we actually know what's wrong with you!”

 “Great,” Inukawa said with a decided lack of enthusiasm.  So you're basically saying the only person who could fix this is halfway across the universe.

 Takenaka instantly deflated. “I… hadn't even thought about it like that…” He cast his eyes down, feeling guilty he'd gotten so excited about the alien telepath that he'd completely forgotten about Inukawa's plight. “I'm really sorry.”

 Inukawa sighed. “No, I'm sorry. None of this is your fault, you're only trying to help. I guess I'm just… tense.”

 There was an awkward silence for a few seconds, then Takenaka was struck by another thought.

 “But you said you got the first six days back by rereading your diary entries for the first time?”

 “Well, yeah.”

 “Then the block can't be all that strong, can it? I mean, sure it knocked me out - but I think that was just because my intrusion activated its defenses. From the inside out, it should be easy to break… we just need to find certain triggers, things like your diary, to reactivate those hidden memories.”

 Inukawa frowned. “That... actually makes sense.”

 Takenaka laughed - then paused thoughtfully. “Admittedly, that might be tough, considering we have no idea what we're looking for... but I guess we'll just have to wait and see. And in the meantime, I'll do my best to make your loneliness disappear.”

 Inukawa gave him a confused look. “I'm… sorry?”  He'll do his best to -? Wait. Is he... coming on to me?

 Takenaka paled. “Wha- ugh, no, no, definitely not. I just meant - look, you don't have any friends, right?”

 Now Inukawa looked insulted. “What?”

 “No, uh, I wasn't trying to say -” Why is this so hard... “- of course you have friends, but like, not ones you can trust... With this I mean,”  he hastily added, making a sweeping gesture, “your emotions, your fears, all that crap that really shouldn’t be bottled up. Sure you have school friends, everyone has those, but you’re hardly close enough with them that you could tell them about the abduction - or even if you did, they wouldn't believe you. And I mean, the telepathy club knows, but they're…”

 He paused. “Well, a collection of emotionally stunted dimwits. They'd probably do more harm than good. But me - I understand what you're going through. I can listen when you need to vent, or distract you when you feel like shit. Or just, you know, hang out with you whenever, or…”

 “So you want to be friends,” Inukawa interrupted Takenaka’s rambling.

 Takenaka blinked.“I - yeah. That’s what I meant?”

 Inukawa snorted. “You could've just said so.”

 Takenaka opened his mouth and closed it wordlessly, hoping his face wasn’t as red as it felt. “Well I don't know! Nobody tells me how these things work.”

 Inukawa laughed. “For a telepath, you're quite socially inept...” Then his smile softened, and for once his thoughts and speech actually matched up.