In the Things (You) Left Behind
Tommy's story of his family, or what once was, is told in things left behind.
It's told in the Arctic outfit Tommy finds when he finally goes to lay Wilbur’s old coat to rest, finding it time to take it off and let it go. He had a box of old clothes under his bed he doesn't wear anymore because he can't stand the idea of giving them away, becuase he’s always held on a little tight to the past and memories, and the things that remind him of other times.
But he’d been unable to stop himself from dropping the coat on the bed and carefully bringing out the snow built uniform when he spotted it after opening up the box, throat suddenly dry and he was overtaken by memories.
Tommy had been given a more cold suited outfit in soft blues and whites, similar to the ones held in his hands, after he joined Techno but it was nothing but hand me downs, a mix match of former pieces from Techno’s and Phil’s extra outfits.
It fit on him oddly and it felt exactly like it was, a bunch of extras thrown together. So he had taken it apart. Sue him, one of the only good hobbies he had that he felt he could do well was tailoring and he refused to feel wrong in something he could fix, make better and more comfortable, especially after what he’s been through.Â
Tommy switched out the darker blue fancy jacket for a lighter icy white one, switching the old ornate pearl buttons for some simple ones in gold. Underneath he got rid of the ruffled dress shirt and instead changed it out for a royal blue long sleeve sweater, just thick enough to add a bit more warmth but not enough it would overheat him nor sit too uncomfortable under the jacket.
He also took the short blue scarf and instead tied it around his waist in a sort of belt type thing, similar to what Techno did with his normal outfit. It was just nice to have some extra fabric on hand, and also to have something to help hide how much the jacket really hung off him thin frame. He could have made it smaller but Tommy was hoping he’d get back to a more normal weight and that way he didn't have to remake it later.
The dark blue, almost black pants he just hemmed to fit him better. He wasn't that much shorter Techno in his normal humanoid half-shifted form, only 2 or 3 inches even if Tommy was thinner, especially after exile. So all he really had to do was make the length a bit shorter so it wasn't touching the ground.
The boots, a old pair of Wilbur's he thinks, was a size off and uncomfortable so he put them back and stole a pair of Phil’s old black ice boots with small metal cleat spikes build into the bottoms to help for ice and slippery terrain, he hadn't seen his dad- Phil, he hasn't seen Phil wear them since the Arctic empire and whatever pair he was wearing now clearly fit him better so he hadn't really felt too bad about yoinking them from the bottom of the closet.
And lastly, to tie it all together, he had snuck into Techno’s closet and dug around until he found a cape that would work. As much as he liked to steal stuff from Techno, he knew many of Techno’s capes were a comfort for his brot- for him and taking the wrong one would definitely cause issues.
But the fear wasn’t enough for Tommy to be deterred from taking one entirely, so he spent time carefully eyeing the fabrics and picked out an older red hooded cape folded in a box behind some junk in the Piglin hybrids’ closet. It was worn but not ripped or torn and also didn't have any fur on it, unlike most of the other capes, but that was fine. It was one the pink haired man hadn't worn in a while, clearly, and was also free of any embellishments or embroidery like some of the others had. It was probably a back up or something he’d only worn once, if ever.
Tommy carefully washed the fabric, cleaning out the dust and dirt and cutting the fabric to fit him better so he wasn't swimming in it and so it would stay off the snow and ground. Then, taking the heavily saturated Blue gifted to him by Ghostbur, he dyed the red cape into a nice cool blue color.
He may have messed up a bit with calculating how much he needed because the ends were slightly purple with a bit of red peaking out at the very bottom but it looked nice enough he left it alone rather then go for a second pass trying to color match, as the rest of the cape was a nice shade already. Even after the washing and dying, it still smelt of lavender, copper, and a bit of the Nether still lingered in the fabric, as did most of the clothes in the man’s closet.Â
To finished it all off he found some spare white fur from some scraps of old and ruined fur capes and attached the fluffy material to the top and bottoms of the cape, before finding some proper gold clasps to hold at the neckline. Then he hemmed the edges not touched by fur with some gold to match Techno and Phil’s outfits.
When he finished his outfit and stood almost proudly in front of Techno and Phil, they had looked amused at him but hadn't told him off or complained about him changing anything. He still looked a tad out of place among them with his lack of heavy jewelry and drapes but it was close enough he felt like he fit in and it almost felt like he had his family, well mostly, back, that things could be okay again and change.
Even if Phil still couldn't look him directly in the eyes anymore or refused to hang out with him for long or the fact his gaze felt ice cold and frigid and empty when he looked at anything but Techno, how his gaze only ever seemed warm when he looked at Techno. Even when Techno’s words seemed false and honeyed, how he’d try to ignore the words and deals the hybrid was making because he said he wouldn't hurt Tommy, he said he wouldn't, even when he dangled the fact he would've given up Tommy to Dream for the favor he ignored it. Even when he tried to come to them to talk, for help but wasn't able to tell them why, what really happened, and they got annoyed or frustrated with how he acted and reacted to them due to what happened before he came to them.
Despite all that, he wore the outfit with pride and hope and longing because it was gifted to him and he made it, just for himself, for a new chapter of his life.
And weeks later he’d taken it off before Doomsday and packed it into this box. Because Techno’s words were false and he had lied to Tommy, he’d manipulated him just like Dream had so Tommy would join him, Philza stayed cold and hadn't cared when Tommy tried to speak out. Tommy hadn't liked who he was with them, how he acted when he had that uniform on and stood with his former family. So he left, because he needed to, even if it hurt, even if they viewed it as a betrayal they had betrayed him first in his eyes.
And he hadn't put it on since.
Back then, looking at them in those outfits had him think of better days and better wars, hell, it still did to see them wear their former Antarctic Empire outfits in the few brushes they had despite the pain and hurt and anger seeing each other caused. It would almost make him want to put on the jacket that laid in the same box to try and chase that comfort and memories but suits don't feel the same way anymore after Manberg and Schlatt.
Tommy lets the uniform slip from his hands and fall haphazardly back into the box, ignoring how it still smelt of lavender and copper despite all this time, and wipes furiously at the tears on his face. Fuck, whatever, it was in the past and it didn't matter anymore. He abruptly stands up, grabbing out for the coat left on the bed while he lost himself in his memories. Tommy looks at it for a bit, gathering his thoughts and brings it to his forehead, just for a second, before gently playing the coat in the box and closing it. Then, he shoves it back under the bed and leaves.
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Tommy’ story of his family is told in what’s left behind.
It's told in the pile of beads that sit in a bag, strung on many braided leather strips of the same 4 sets of 4, 16 beads in total per braid carefully tied together. Each braid was marked with some tape at the end of each and scrawled with dates written on them, dating back 5 years at the most.
A long time ago he had made them for Techno and Phil and Wilbur and himself, before the Techno had gone off to move to Hypixel, before Wilbur had set off to adventure, before, with Phil’s permission, Tommy himself had joined Wilbur a few months later, before they left Phil behind for him to start his own adventure. Before they had split up and grew apart, before, before, before.
Tommy wanted to make beads for them, for the small braids the family wore in their hair, each bead set designed to represent all of them so they could carry a reminder wherever they went. To be honest, they were horrible and badly made, but he had been so proud despite that, they had seemed so happy with them as well despite the quality and the family had worn them several times. They had promised to wear them when they did their braids together.
They hadn't been wearing them when Techno left and by then it was too late as the beads had been left behind in the small jewelry box they had for some of their hair jewelry. The other two don't seem to notice the day Tommy realized Techno left his behind. Neither Wilbur nor Phil even blinked when the beads went missing, nor did they notice the new attempts that showed up not long after, nor the next set, a bit better then the last. He hadn't spoken up about it when Wilbur left either, and by the time he set out to join Wilbur, the beads had been all but forgotten in their minds as Phil waved him off, but never in his.
In the next 4 years, Tommy had remade the beads so, so many times, because the first attempts where so poorly made he couldn't help but listen to the voices in his head that whispered if they were better, then the others would have worn them, taken them with them. He gets better with every attempt, learns more about jewelry and carving and beadwork.
So years later he has a frankly ridiculous pile of beads each done in green, yellow, pink and red, each better from the last. The first attempts and the new ones have a stark difference, from messily scratched lines to almost beautifully carved, intricate patterns he painted with golds and blues and silvers to make them look nice.
It had been sometime during the first L’manberg war when Tommy, having managed to squirrel away time for himself so nobody else, especially Wilbur, could see him work, had declared them, after 5 years, and many many failed attempts, that they were finally finished, finally enough to give to the people they were intended once more, this time with pride and perhaps a bit of insistence they actually remember to wear them this time. All Tommy had to do is find the perfect time to give them the gifts.
Maybe if he managed to do it sooner or if things hadn't gotten so bad so fast, then maybe he could have kept that same feeling of pride and happiness, maybe if he could have actually given them to his family, but it's too late now, their bonds are dead and the beads stay buried in the closet.
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Tommy’ story of his family is told in what’s left behind.
It's told in the twin daggers hand crafted and forged by Techno when he was 10 and just started to learn to defend himself, and soft spoken words that he can no longer remember no matter how hard he tries, he wishes he remembers why they filled him with such happiness, wishes he could feel it again, wishes that Techno would say them once more.
It's told in the letters that they used to write him, that slowly petered out until the the latest one had been sent a year ago from Wilbur telling him he’d love to come to the new server Tommy had settled down in and the others had been absent for years, each buried in their own adventures and paths, how Tommy had stopped sending his own, not knowing that some day he’d regret letting go so easily.
It was told in the storybooks that Phil had hand written for him as a child and had gifted to him when he left the house for the last time, just as he did with the other two and their books, and a small necklace with a feather on it pressed between it's pages, covered in a thick layer of dust. Stories he could once recite from memory he stopped needing to pull them out at all, so he didn't. But the words faded from memory until he didn't realize he’d lost them at all, and by then he couldn't muster the urge to pick up the books again.
All of them scattered somewhere throughout his dirt mound, more things that were lost even before he came to the Dream SMP, some stolen after, some he just… doesn't remember, and some he doesn't care to remember at all.Â
Tommy’ story of his family is told in what’s left behind.
And most of all, it's told in the fact he’s still alive, standing there while his family, what used to be his family, is scattered to the wind and at odds, broken and twisted and without him, and Tommy, having been left behind.
