#taexvan

"y/n." his voice comes out rough. "You still up?" The words struggle to leave him as you stare up at him, a dozen different responses crowding your throat. Instead, the only thing that comes out is "you forgot" You watch as the guilt in his eyes deepens. And his brows knit together.

Only then does he pull his phone from his pocket. You watch the exact moment realization hits him as his eyes scan the screen, taking in the unread messages, the missed calls, the time. His expression tightens and he lets his head fall back with a quiet sigh. "Shit." the curse slips out under his breath. And somehow that makes you even angrier.

Because he forgot. How could he just forget? “Babe, I-” "Hee..." You cut him off, your voice coming out softer than you'd intended as all the exhaustion bleeds through your frustration. "Do you know how worried I was?" You shake your head before he can answer. "You can't keep doing this. Do you know how it feels sitting here for hours, completely unable to reach you? Not knowing if you're okay, if you've eaten..." a humorless laugh escapes you. "It's driving me insane."

He doesn't interrupt you, doesn't rush to defend himself or offer some half-hearted excuse. He just stands there, shoulders slumped beneath the weight of your words, staring down at the floor as guilt settles across his features.

"I know, baby" he says quietly. "No, I don't think you do" your throat tightens. "Because if you did, you would've called, or texted, or done literally anything, especially with how crazy your job is." His jaw flexes. For a moment, he looks like he wants to say something, but whatever it is dies down before it reaches his lips. "I was going to," he finally admits. "Every time I picked up my phone, I thought I'd text you in a minute. Then something came up, and I kept putting it off."

The confession only makes your chest ache more because it sounds exactly like him. He always assumes there will be more time. More time to call, more time to explain, more time to make it right…until suddenly there isn't.

His eyes finally lift to meet yours, and the guilt there is enough to make your anger waver. "I'm sorry," he says, voice barely above a whisper. "I really am.” The apology hangs between you, but this time it doesn't soften the ache in your chest. You stare at him for a long moment before looking away, suddenly finding the floor far more interesting than the guilt written all over his face.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Heeseung." His expression immediately falls, but you continue before he has the chance to respond. "I spent the entire day worried sick. I called you seven times." A bitter laugh escapes you as you shake your head. "Seven…and the whole time I kept telling myself you probably got caught up with work or maybe your phone died." your throat tightens.

"But then I'd open social media and there you'd be." His brows raise ever so slightly. "I saw clips from your fan accounts, pictures from earlier today, even asked your staff to speak with you but got turned away. I had to look at your fan accounts posting where you were and what you were doing just to make sure that you were okay." you let out another humorless laugh.

"Do you know how insane that feels? Sitting here wondering if you're okay while strangers somehow know more about your day than I do." something shifts in his expression. "I had to find out you were okay through other people..." the room falls silent as the enormity of your words sink in.

Immediately, you regret saying it, not because it isn't true, but because it is, and judging by the look on his face, he knows it too. "You know I don't care that you're busy," you continue, your voice quieter now. "I knew what I was getting into when we got together. I knew there'd be schedules and tours and interviews, I knew there'd be days where I barely saw you…that's never been the problem."

Your eyes burn as you force yourself to meet his gaze. "What I didn't expect was feeling like everyone gets access to you before I do." His eyes drop to the floor. “I wasn't asking for a three hour phone call, I wasn't asking for some elaborate date or grand gesture, I would've been happy with a text, Heeseung. Just one text letting me know you were okay."

For the first time all evening, you can see him understanding that this isn't really about tonight. It's about every time he's looked at a notification and thought he'd answer later. All the times he's promised himself he'd call when things settled down, convinced there would always be more time.

"I kept meaning to answer," his admission is quiet and helpless. "I really did” his shoulders slump. "Saw the messages, the missed calls too." He runs a tired hand through his hair before letting it fall back to his side. You close your eyes. Of course he did because that was always the answer, he kept choosing later.

Later, when he had a second, later when he finished this one thing, maybe when he was away from all his demanding fans. Until suddenly it was after midnight and you were sitting alone on the couch wondering why the entire world gets to have your boyfriend before you do. Your eyes burn as you force yourself to continue.

"I know your job is demanding. I know people need things from you constantly. Your crew, your managers, your fans. I understand that. I've always understood that." You swallow around the lump in your throat. "I just..." you exhale sharply, dragging a hand across your face. "I don't know how many more times I can have this conversation.” The words hang heavily between you.

When you finally look at him again, he's already watching you, his eyes filled with something that looks dangerously close to panic. "Do you know how humiliating it feels having to check fan accounts just to make sure my boyfriend is okay? Watching strangers post updates about where you are while I'm sitting here wondering if something happened to you?" You shake your head. "I shouldn't have to do that."

His gaze immediately drops. "You're right." His voice is rough. "You're right," he repeats quietly. "You shouldn't." You stare at him, no excuses coming from him but somehow that hurts too…because if he knows you're right, then why does it keep happening?

Heeseung seems to realize exactly where your thoughts have gone because his shoulders sag even further. "I don't have a good excuse," he admits. "I wish I did." He sounds extremely tired, not only physically, but emotionally. Like he's disappointed in himself too. The apartment falls quiet, save for the faint hum of the refrigerator and the ticking clock that had been mocking you all evening.

You stare at him, taking in the dark circles beginning to form beneath his eyes and the way he's still standing by the door as though he hasn't quite earned the right to come any closer.

"Did you eat?" you ask finally. The question seems to catch him off guard. "What?"

"You heard me" A small smile tugs at the corner of his lips despite himself. "Yeah”

"You sure?" He nods making you narrow your eyes. "An actual meal?"

“Yes” his smile grows slightly. You raise a brow suspectingly, "Something that wasn't coffee?" A quiet laugh escapes him. "Yes" For the first time all night, the tension eases, just a little. You hate how easy it is. How one stupid laugh can make your anger crack around the edges.

Heeseung notices too, of course he does. He's always been annoyingly good at reading you. Slowly, cautiously, he takes a few steps forward and you don't stop him. By the time he reaches the couch, he's close enough that you can see the exhaustion written across every inch of his face. For a moment, neither of you say anything, he just stands there, looking down at you with that same guilty expression that's been etched onto his features since he walked through the door. You hate how tired he looks…how easily your concern always manages to worm its way through your frustration.

His gaze drops briefly to your hands before flickering back up to your face. And the movement is so quick you almost miss it, almost. A breath leaves you through your nose when you catch him eyeing your wrist. "Don't." you deadpan. "I didn't do anything." his lips twitch. "You were thinking about it." "Thinking about what?" You level him with a look and his smile grows. "You are unbelievable." You roll your eyes, but the corner of your mouth betrays you and the tiny smile is all the invitation he needs.

Before you can stop him, he lowers himself onto the couch beside you, careful to leave a few inches of space between you both and the distance is almost comical considering how attached and handsy he usually is. You glance at him but he's staring straight ahead…very intentionally. As though he's trying to convince you he isn't currently fighting the urge to throw himself into your arms. The realization makes something warm unfurl in your chest and you turn to face him.

"You can stop looking like a kicked puppy" you watch him. "I don't know what you're talking about." He shrugs. "Heeseung, i'm serious." You're met with the least convincing expression you've ever seen. A laugh slips out before you can stop it and the relief on his face is immediate. It softens something in him, his shoulders relax, the tension leaves his jaw. For the first time since he'd walked through the door, he looks like he can breathe again. Slowly, cautiously, he reaches for your hand, not grabbing it but just resting his fingers against yours, giving you every opportunity to pull away.

When you don't, his thumb brushes over your knuckles once, twice, a familiar gesture. One he's probably done thousands of times without realizing it. "I'm really sorry, baby." You stare down at your intertwined hands and sigh. "I know." And you do. You know he loves you, sometimes you think he loves you so much that he assumes you'll always be there to tolerate it silently, waiting patiently while he sorts everything else out first.

It's a terrible habit. One he needs to break. But you can't help the way your heart melts at the sight of him looking so at ease. “Wanna cuddle?” you shoot out the question and it catches him off guard. For a second, Heeseung just blinks at you as if he isn't entirely convinced he heard you correctly. The surprise on his face would be funny if you weren't half as annoyed anymore.

"Really?"

A laugh escapes you despite yourself. "Don't make me take it back." The look of relief that washes over him is almost immediate. Then he reaches for your hand, not cautiously this time, just naturally. Like he's been wanting to do it ever since he walked in. His fingers intertwine with yours and a small smile tugs at the corner of his lips, tired but genuine.

"Come here." You barely have time to process the words before he's gently tugging you toward him. Before you can say anything else, one of his arms slips around your waist while the other hooks beneath your knees making your eyes widen. "Heeseung-"

"What?" He looks down at you, a mischievous grin tugging at the corner of his lips. "Put me down." Instead of listening, he simply adjusts his hold on you and starts making his way toward the bedroom. "No”

"You're ridiculous" You roll your eyes. "And yet you still like me" You roll your eyes again but your arms find their way around his neck anyway. The apartment is quiet and the moonlight shines through the glass windows as he carries you down the hallway, his steps slow and relaxed. Even now, after the argument, after the guilt and the apologies and the hurt feelings, he still gravitates toward you as naturally as breathing.

By the time he nudges the bedroom door open with his foot, you're no longer fighting the smile threatening to pull at your lips. The second he reaches the bed, he carefully lowers you onto the mattress before climbing over you. "You're so annoying." A sleepy grin spreads across his face. "And yet here you are."

His hands settle on either side of your head as he looks down at you, amusement dancing in his eyes. Up close, you can see just how exhausted he is, the faint shadows beneath his eyes making your chest tighten despite yourself. "I've been sitting on a couch stressing over you for seven hours. You should be glad I haven't leaked your baby pictures yet."

"Exactly why I need to take care of you tonight." Before you can roll your eyes, he presses a quick kiss against your jaw. The smile threatening your lips is impossible to suppress. His expression softens the second he catches it, like he'd been waiting for it all night. For a moment, neither of you say anything. He simply looks at you, his gaze moving lazily across your features as though he's trying to memorize them all over again.

There he goes, staring. "Stop."

"What?" he asks, already smirking. "The staring" A quiet laugh escapes him as you smack his shoulder. "I'm looking at my girlfriend"

"You always do this"

"Do what?" he grins. "Look at me like that" His brows lift innocently, "Like what?" You groan and cover your face with your hands, earning another laugh from him. A moment later, his fingers curl around your wrists and gently pull your hands away. "You know," he murmurs, thumbs brushing absentmindedly across your skin, “I better make it up to you since you're threatening my life."

"I wasn't threatening your life"

"You were definitely threatening my life."

"I said I was going to expose your baby pictures” you smirk. "Exactly" he winces. A laugh escapes you as you attempt to shove him off of you again but he simply smirks, grabbing your wrists before easily pinning your hands on either side of your head.

You realize what he's doing and you feel the blood rushing to your face. “I have a lot to make up for” he whispers against your ear, causing a shudder to roll through your body. His lips trail down your neck as his knee pushes in between your legs, pressing hard against your core. He kisses his way to your chest, his mouth hot and desperate against your skin. You grind down on his knee just enough that he presses harder and the electric feelings spreads through your veins, your legs trembling helplessly.

He pushes harder and a sharp gasp escapes you, your back arching off the bed. Heeseung pulls back to look down at you, his eyes drag up your legs, settling in between them and he watches for a second. Watches how you press your eyes shut, breath shaky as you grind down on his knee, a wet spot beginning to form on the fabric of his pants. At this point you didn’t even care anymore, you needed to come. After hours of feeling so neglected, you needed a release.

He watches you breathlessly, completely mesmerized as the days and weeks of frustration reflected in your efforts. He moves his knee slightly, pulling out a tortured moan from you and it makes him snap. He doesn’t waste any more time with modesty, tugging at your clothes until he can press his hot, wet mouth directly against your skin. He sucks your nipple hard, his tongue swirling around the peak.

“I've been neglecting you baby, haven't I?” You didn't have time to answer before he reached down, his fingers hooking into the waistband of your panties and pulling them off with a single, sharp tug. He tosses the lace aside, no longer of any interest to him as his gaze falls to the heat radiating from between your thighs. You suddenly feel more hyperaware, your blood burning with want, and the sound of your heart thrumming in your ears.

“I've got to taste you” he says, more to himself and suddenly you're being jerked towards the edge of the bed, where he drops to his knees and his head disappears in between your legs. “Hee- w-wait!” your words are suddenly lost as you let out a loud, broken moan, your head falling back against the cushions. “Oh my- f-fuck” his lips close around your clit, sucking it into his mouth as he lifts your legs over his shoulders. Goosebumps break out over your skin, your breaths turning erratic as he looks up at you, his dark gaze nearly tipping you over the edge.

You shudder underneath the touch of his tongue, climbing higher and higher with every slow lap he takes, his tongue slipping into you before gliding over your clit. Your moans echo across the room, causing him to multiply his efforts until your thighs are shaking around his head “Heeseung I-I can't it's too…it's too much” He ignores you, holding you in place as he takes his time licking you, quiet groans leaving his throat like he's doing this for his own pleasure rather than yours.

He swirls his tongue over your clit again, you writhe, mind completely gone, vision hazy, and nails finding purchase in his hair, gripping tight, but even so, he doesn't falter. Your whimpers get louder as Heeseung begins to thrust his tongue inside you, his thumb pressing against your clit. Your eyes roll into the back of your head and the telltale sparks of an orgasm flutter through you. “Hee…I'm gonna- I'm gonna cum” you gasp, writhing uncontrollably as he presses you down, holding you still and forcing you to feel everything he has to offer.

He sucks your clit into his mouth before releasing it with a loud pop, “Hold it” it isn't a request, not a suggestion either. His eyes meet yours for a split second, your juices running down his chin, the unhinged look burning wild behind his dark lidded eyes before his arms wrap around your thighs, lifting them off his shoulders and pushing them back until your knees are by your ears and your gaping hole is leaking your juices down your ass and onto the sheets. “Fuck…” he curses, his gaze unfocused as he watches you spill for him.

“Hee…please, please no more” you cry out, tears welling in your eyes as the overwhelming pleasure rolls through your every nerve. You feel so sensitive as if even the slightest breeze can set you off. You're still caught up on focusing your attention onto anything and everything else as you teeter on the precipice. His heavy gaze already riding you on the edge, and you don't notice his closeness until you feel the hot sweep of his tongue again, his nose brushing against your clit with every lick.

A loud gasp escapes you and then the moans and cries that leave your lips are no longer under your control, you don't even realize how loud you're being until he lazily presses a hand over your mouth, the salty tears running down your face drip down your cheeks and onto your nipple, leaving you even more sensitive.

He starts French kissing your pussy, the wet sounds pulling out a scream from you, “Hee- s-stop” The feeling is instantaneous, you sense your ruin and you don't know if you can handle it, panic overtakes your senses, you gasp, your hands clawing at the sheets as you try to escape his touch, the hands around your thighs only pulling you back and forcing you to feel. “You can take it baby, c'mon give it to me,” he murmurs in between his licks, your fingers dig into your hair, helpless and shaking as you cry out, hands clawing at your scalp.

The tension builds and builds, his tongue never falters, his gaze burning into you as your mouth falls into an “o” and suddenly you're falling, you're falling hard, you're crashing.

Lights burst behind your eyes, the sweetest venom ignites through your veins and a warm stream builds at your core and then your body is no longer yours, you arch into his mouth and explode, cold air prickles your skin and you feel a warm liquid spray against your thighs as you scream his name. “Shit, Fuck…Fuck that's it” he slips two fingers into you, pressing and probing until he hits your sweet spot, making your eyes widen and you cry out helplessly as he drags out your orgasm, lapping at your juices, he doesn't let up until the evidence of your arousal is coating his lips and dripping down his chin.

You pant heavily, still coming down from your high but reality sets in and you feel the blood rushing into your face as you begin to pull out of his grip. Heeseung's gaze darkens, and he leaves one more kiss on your pelvis before climbing over you. “That was fantastic” he has a smug smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he grins down at your embarrassed face. His gaze is lazy and dark as it trails down your body again before lifting up to meet your gaze.

“Can I fuck you?” He asks before he kisses you, softly tugging at your bottom lip. “You just had your tongue inside me, I think you've got the order wrong” you laugh breathlessly while he smiles against your neck. His arms tighten around your waist, pulling you a little closer until there's barely any space left between you. “How about? I fuck you” you whisper in his ear, you see the surprise on his face, his eyebrows raising slightly before he laughs underneath his breath and flips you over till he's leaning back against the headboard and you're straddling him.

Heeseung looks up at you, curious eyes and the impatience in his breaths. You feel him tense up when your hands slide underneath his shirt, tugging at the hem teasingly. He pulls it over his head swiftly, his eyes never leaving your own as you lean forward, pressing your lips against his throat, his hands feel around your body and you feel the disturbance between your legs, grinding your hips down on him, the pressure so delicious against your clit as electric currents zap through your body with each of your movements.

Heeseung looks up at you, completely mesmerized, the sound of his breathing growing louder as he watches your movements. You place your hands onto his toned shoulders and almost immediately he tenses up, feeling your fingers trail down his chest before settling at his navel. “You're driving me crazy” his dark lidded eyes lock onto yours, a smile etching its way onto your lips while you tug at the waistband of his pants.

He reaches out for you but you push him away. “I want you inside me” you tug them down gently. He closes his eyes, his jaw tightening while you wrap your hands around his length, lips pressed against his ear and he watches you eagerly as you rub the head of his dick against your folds, already hard and leaking with precum before you sink down on him, using his chest for leverage. Heeseung lets out a hiss, your walls clamping down on him and it takes everything he has in him not to roll you over and pound into you until the only thing left in your brain and coming out your lips is him.

A shudder rolls through you, a breathless sigh escaping your lips as you begin to rock against him. No matter how many times you had sex with him, you had never fully gotten used to his size. He was so big and you always felt so full, consumed and complete. The delicious ache gives way to sweet pleasure and in this position you’re pretty sure you can feel him in your bones.

No longer able to control himself, he grips onto your hips guiding you into perfect rhythm as a loud moan climbs up your throat. “Hee- f-fuck you're so deep” wetness gushes in between your legs, his lips latch onto your nipple while his fingers find their way down to your clit, rubbing slow and torturous circles until your thighs are shaking and you can hear your heartbeat pounding in your ears.

“Baby you're making a mess” he groans into your neck, trailing his lips down your throat. Your head falls back, arms clinging onto him and the feeling is almost instantaneous. Your orgasm crashes into you, waves and waves of pleasure washing through every nerve ending of your body, your rhythm falters as you clench around him, the cries leaving your lips are swallowed by his kiss and before you know it he gently grabs onto your waist, never pulling out and turns you over till you're trapped beneath him.

Your response is a whimper, arching off the bed as you push against his chest. The new position fucks with your senses, he's so deep, too fucking deep that you can feel him pulsing inside you, the sweetest sensations pooling in your lower belly again. He lays on top of you, his dark hair falling over his eyes as his dark gaze searches your face. “Hee i-i can't- so d-deep-” his lips press against yours before you can finish and he starts moving again.

He fucks you hard. Fast. The headboard slamming against the wall with each thrust, his lazy eyes fixated on you as he increases his speed. One leg slung over his shoulder, and it somehow seats him even deeper inside you. “You're so fucking wet” his gaze locks down on where you're joined, his dick pumping hard and fast into you as you leak around him, no longer able to control the tears streaming down your face. Heeseung grabs your other leg, lifting it over his shoulder as he doubles his efforts, his lips press against yours, growling against your kiss when you clench harder. His sweet scent floods into your brain, overwhelming and heightening your senses.

“Such a needy girl” one of his hands finds their way around your neck, his fingers wrapping tight around your throat while the other stays firm against your hip. “You get all jealous and bothered when I'm away from you, huh?” your nails dig into his back as you scream his name. “You just want me all to yourself, don't you?”

“s-shut up” your eyes roll into the back of your head when he hits that spot again.

“you take it so good”

“such a good fucking girl”

“Look at how you spill for me” Heeseung has such a filthy mouth and it shows even more in bed, dirty words spilling past his lips all crude and commanding as he draws another moan from you, his thumb finds your clit again and before you know it you're coming around him, it's intense and violent, sending you arching into him as a scream rips out of your throat.

He grips your hips bruisingly tight, pinning you down into the mattress, fingers tight around your throat as your mind drifts and your arms fall limp. His jaw tightens, never once looking away from you as you're completely consumed by the overwhelming pleasure. Your toes curl by his ears, and you entirely lose yourself to him, writhing and thrashing as he holds you down, forcing you to feel. It takes a while for the tingles to subside and when you open your eyes, you find him looking down at you, watching you through dark lidded eyes, his lips slightly parted as he focuses on controlling himself.

“You're so pretty when you come for me” he whispers. Still completely unable to form a coherent sentence, you gaze up at him breathlessly and his hand leaves your neck before he swiftly flips you over again. Pressing your cheek against the cushions. “I'm gonna fuck that jealousy out of you…you'll feel me for days before you start acting up again” Your entire body buckles when he pushes into you again, sliding in easily because of the juices running down your thighs. “Shit…I can't get over how wet you are” he says with a groan, pulling out to the tip, your juices leaking down his length before he slams into you again.

“Hee! I c-can't take anymore…” you cry, ignoring the salty taste of your tears as you push back to meet his thrusts. “Fuck- yes you can, you're doing such a good job princess” his praises wash over you “I don't know how to get it through to you that I'm yours, and that you're mine, all fucking mine” your cries grow louder as each word is emphasized with a thrust. “I c-can't I can't come again-” your words are cut off as he hits your G-spot over and over again, your legs nearly giving out underneath you.

You grab at the sheets, overstimulated beyond control, desperately trying to escape his touch but he wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you back into place. “You can take it" “you take it so good for me” his hand finds its way between your legs again, fingers rubbing slow circles against your clit as the sheets muffle your moans and cries. “c'mon baby, you can do it…give it to me” the sound of skin slapping against skin echoes throughout the room and your legs give in. He wraps an arm around your waist, holding you to his chest, his breath fanning your shoulder and his woodland scent clouding all your senses.

When your orgasm rips through you, the world goes black, stars burst behind your eyes and you clench around him so tight, pulsing hot splashes of cum running down your thighs. The last thing you register is the sound of his groan as he cums, emptying his release deep inside you. Heeseung slowly releases you and you collapse onto the bedding, turning around to look up at him when he pulls out, his cum runs down your thighs. His eyes meet yours before falling to the puddle between your legs and his pupils dilate.

“You got one more for me?” a smirk climbs onto his lips when your eyes widen and this time, you really try to make a run for it. Heeseung chuckles locking a hand around your ankle. He drags you back, settling between your legs and pulls you towards his mouth. “One more, baby”

“Hee! Are you t-trying to kill me?” You cry, the soft feeling of his tongue swirling against your hypersensitive clit sends you shaking, and it's only a matter of seconds before you're crying his name and your juices flood into his mouth. He presses one last kiss against your clit before climbing over you. “You're incredible” the words are followed by a kiss, his gaze burning deep into your soul. “So beautiful when you cum for me…” The words are whispered but it still manages to send the blood rushing to your face.

He stays like that for a minute, wiping away the tears staining your cheeks before he kisses away the embarrassment evident in your face. He kisses you for a minute but when his hands begin to wander you push him off of you. “You're actually insane, you know that right?...you're like- not human” You're staring at him in disbelief as he shoots you a grin. “What can I say? It's not my fault that I have a sexy girlfriend” he shrugs, pulling back on his sweatpants before he rolls onto his back.

“Come here.”

He reaches out for you and you hesitantly move closer, snuggling up against his chest. How he has all this stamina is beyond you. After all the schedules, interviews, and endless work that comes with his job, Heeseung was almost always exhausted. But the moment he got his hands on you, he acted like a starved beast, never stopping until you were begging him to let you be.

You press your head against his chest, immediately relaxing at the familiar scent that clings to him. One arm settles securely around your waist while one of his legs tangles with yours beneath the blankets. His face finds the crook of your neck and, somehow, he keeps inching closer. You swear he's getting closer.

You narrow your eyes. Slowly, experimentally, you scoot a few inches away. Within seconds, Heeseung follows. You try to turn over, but he only follows, pulling you even closer. "Hee." A sleepy hum vibrates against your skin. “I can barely move” At this point, you're fairly certain he's attempting to merge the two of you into a single person. His arms simply tighten around your waist, pulling you a little closer until there's barely any space left between you. "You do realize we're on a king-sized bed, right?" Another hum before he presses a lazy kiss to your neck.

"You move too much" he murmurs. You sigh dramatically as he buries his face further into your shoulder, letting out a content breath. "Tired?" you ask softly. His response takes a second. "Mhm”

"That tired, huh?" A laugh escapes you. Another hum follows. "Lee Heeseung."

"hmm?”

“Are you sleeping?” When you tilt your head to look at him, you immediately regret it. Big mistake, his eyes are closed, his hair is a mess, his cheek is squished against your shoulder and he somehow looks completely content. The sight melts whatever irritation you're trying to hold onto. "You and your stupid face," you mutter. A faint smile appears on his lips.

"You love my stupid face" You roll your eyes and lightly smack his arm. "I think you're annoying." "You think I'm handsome." he retorts. "Whatever." The smile pulling at your lips ruins any attempt at sounding convincing. "You are so lucky you're cute." "I know." he grins proudly, the confidence in his answer making you laugh.

A comfortable silence settles between you after that. His fingers begin tracing absentminded patterns against your side, the movement lazy and instinctive. You don't even think he realizes he's doing it. "Do you have plans tomorrow, baby?" he says, eyes still shut, but his fingers remain tracing your skin. "You know," you murmur, threading your fingers through his hair, "for someone so tired, you sure do talk a lot." His response takes several seconds.

“I like hearing your voice." he whispers. “Plus I want to take you out tomorrow” your heart immediately betrays you, the butterflies in your stomach going absolutely feral. "Y-You are not allowed to say things like that when I'm trying to be annoyed with you." A quiet laugh leaves him before dissolving into a yawn. You feel his body sink further into yours as the last bit of tension finally leaves him. The more relaxed he becomes, the heavier he gets. Your own personal weighted blanket.

"How are you this clingy?"

"Mhm"

"That wasn't even an answer."

"Mhm"

You can't help laughing.

Beneath the blanket, his hand finds yours and automatically intertwines your fingers together. The gesture is so natural, so thoughtless, that it makes your chest ache. "You still mad at me?" he asks after a moment. The question catches you off guard so you pretend to think about it.

"A little" you sigh, "That's fair" he nods.

"A lot, actually." you gaze at him out of the corner of your eyes. "That's also fair." The immediate defeat in his voice makes you laugh, and the sound instantly earns a sleepy smile from him. "I was really mad at you, honestly."

"I know." He presses a small kiss against your shoulder. "You made me worry. You ignored my messages."

"I did."

You narrow your eyes. "Are you even listening to me?" One eye cracks open. "Listening." The eye immediately closes again. You stare at him for a moment before shaking your head in disbelief. Somehow, despite everything, despite the argument and the hours you spent worrying yourself sick, he's already halfway asleep in your arms. The realization should annoy you. Instead, it makes something warm settle in your chest. "You're impossible," you mutter.

A sleepy smile tugs at his lips, the kind that tells you he heard every word. For a while, neither of you say anything. His fingers remain intertwined with yours beneath the blanket while his breathing gradually slows against your shoulder. Every now and then he shifts closer, somehow finding a way to close whatever tiny distance remains between the two of you. You honestly don't know if he understands that it's physically impossible for the two of you to get any more closer.

"You know" you murmur, tracing your fingers through his messy hair, "most people apologize with flowers." A quiet hum is your only response. "Or chocolates…and maybe a heartfelt letter." This time he cracks an eye open just enough to look at you. "I can do that"

A laugh escapes you."No, you can't" His brows immediately furrow "Yes I can."

"Dude…you're literally falling asleep." You giggle. "I'm multitasking," he scoffs. The response comes so quickly that you can't help laughing. His smile widens instantly. "There it is" he whispers to himself underneath his breath. You glance down at him "There what is?" "That laugh," his voice is softer now, rough around the edges from exhaustion. "I love it."

Your heart immediately betrays you. You spent the entire evening lecturing him, reminding him how upset you are, and somehow he's still the one making your heart flutter. You continue running your fingers through his hair while he remains curled against you, his arm secure around your waist as though he's worried you might disappear the second he lets go.

Eventually, you notice his responses stop altogether, his breathing deepens as his body grows heavier against yours. You glance down to find him completely asleep and a fond sigh escapes you. Tomorrow you'll make him charge his phone, tomorrow you'll remind him that apologies only matter if they're followed by change and you'll probably scold him all over again.

But tonight, with his face tucked into your shoulder and his arms wrapped around you, like you're the most precious thing in the world, you simply press a kiss into his hair and close your eyes. And for the first time all week, the both of you are truly at peace.

-> made by @taexvan ●RULES ●MASTERLIST ●TAGLIST

The day of the argument starts like any other day. Sunghoon kisses you goodbye in the morning before he leaves. You'd mentioned last night that you had dinner plans; a reservation at that restaurant you've been wanting to try and he'd said “sounds good” in that annoying noncommittal way he does.

You should have known it was a sign.

You spend the day excited, actually excited about the evening. You buy a new dress, get your nails and hair done. Naturally you're trying, putting in effort, doing all the things you're supposed to do when you care about someone. Then, around 4 PM, a message comes through.

Hoonie♡: Something came up baby. Can't do dinner tonight.

No explanation, not even an apology, nothing. You call him immediately. "What came up?" you ask, trying to keep your voice level. "Plans with Jake and Heeseung."

Your brows furrow in confusion "Plans that you just made today?"

"Yes."

"Sunghoon, we have dinner reservations…I bought a dress, like- I've been looking forward to this all week…what do you mean?” You hear his sigh through the phone "I know baby. But this is important."

"And I'm not?" He doesn't answer.

"I'll reschedule," he says finally, like that solves anything. Like canceling on you at the last minute is acceptable as long as he can pencil you back in when it's more convenient. You hang up on him without another word, anger burning through your veins as you look through the group chat. You scroll down to the latest texts, and based on the conversation, it seems that he's going to some event with his friends.

It's not an emergency, not something that couldn't have been postponed…just something he decided was more important than you. That's when you decide you need to talk to him. This might be the last straw…his lack of effort, the coldness, the way he treats you like an obligation instead of someone he loves. You're tired of it.

Later that day, you drive to his apartment with your new dress still on, your hair and makeup and all your efforts for tonight on display. And despite how beautiful you thought you looked, it couldn't blur out the ugliness spreading inside. Your heart shatters, completely ready to finally say all the things you've been holding back. Sunghoon's “You look gorgeous, angel” quickly turns into a "You're being ridiculous," when you look him dead in the eye and tell him to cancel with his friends. And his voice is so cold it sounds like he's never cared about you at all.

You stare at him across his apartment. You've been here for a whole hour. One hour of going in circles, of him refusing to acknowledge what he did, of you asking for literally the bare minimum…an apology, an admission that he was wrong and getting nothing except that same perfectly controlled expression and excuses wrapped in ice. "I'm not being ridiculous," you say, and your voice is already shaking. "I'm asking you to cancel and admit you were wrong."

"I wasn't wrong." He shrugs "You were!" Your voice gets louder. "For God's sake You made plans with me…we had dinner plans, Sunghoon. I bought a new dress, I tried to look pretty for you…I was excited. And you canceled at the last minute for Jake and Heeseung?. You couldn’t even tell me the reason why…I had to find out through the group chat like I was nobody." He turns away from you, like this conversation is beneath him, like you're beneath him. "Plans change."

"Don't turn away from me!" You move closer. "Look at me…please just look at me and tell me why I don't matter enough for a single text." He turns back, but his expression is colder than before, completely closed off. "Plans change, y/n" he repeats, like you didn't hear him the first time, like repetition will make it true. "And communication exists for a reason!" Your voice cracks, "I just need you to acknowledge that you hurt my feelings, that you disrespected me, I need you to say you're sorry. That's it, Hoonie, that's literally all I need."

"I'm not going to apologize for spending time with my best friends."

"That's not what this is about!" You're yelling now, past the point of trying to keep your voice level. "I don't care that you're going out with Jake or Heeseung. I care that you made me feel like an afterthought, like something you could just push aside whenever something better came along." He looks at you with an expression so detached it's almost cruel.

"You're not an afterthought."

"Then why do you make me feel like one?" Tears are sliding down your face now and you hate that, hate that he's making you cry while he stands there completely unmoved. "Why do I always feel like I'm begging for scraps of your attention? Why am I the only one who tries in this relationship?"

"You're not-"

"Don't lie to me!" You step closer, desperate now. "Don't stand there and tell me I'm not when we both know it's true. I'm always the one planning things, making the effort, always the one who cares more and you know it but you don't even care." He doesn't answer, just stands there with his jaw tight and his eyes cold and completely, utterly unmoved by your pain. "Say something," you plead. "Defend yourself. Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me anything, Hoon. Don't just stand there like I'm not worth responding to."

"What do you want me to say?" His voice is perfectly controlled, ice cold, not a single trace of guilt or remorse, "That I'm sorry? Fine, I'm sorry. Happy now?" The casual cruelty of it takes your breath away. "That's not an apology and you know it," you say quietly. "An apology means you feel something about what you did, and you don't. You don't feel a thing."

"That's not true."

"Then prove it, show me…do something…anything that shows me you actually care about my feelings instead of just saying the words because it's easier for you than being vulnerable."

He runs a hand through his hair, but it's just a gesture of irritation. "I'm not good at this babe, you know it" he says finally. "I'm not good at talking about feelings and I'm not going to pretend to be. This is who I am. If you can't accept that then that's your problem, not mine."

The words hang between you like a blade.

"My problem?" Your voice drops to something dangerous. "Seriously!?, my problem?” you can't believe the words you're hearing. Tears stream down your face, ruining your makeup but he just stands still, looking down at you with that dark expression.

“My fucking problem is that I love someone who won't even try to meet me halfway, i've been waiting for you to show me that you love me back and every single day you choose your pride instead."

"I do love you," he says, but it sounds automated, like a line he's memorized.

"No, you don't, not really, because if you did, you would fight for me. You would do better…you would fucking try." You move toward the door, hands shaking and shoulders heavy. "But you won't. You'd rather lose me than admit you were wrong. Your pride matters to you more than I do."

"Y/n”

"I can't do this anymore," you say, and your voice is surprisingly steady now. Tired. "I can't keep begging someone to care about me. I can't keep being the only one trying. I'm exhausted, Hoonie. I'm so exhausted." You grab your jacket. "Don't do this," he says, and for the first time there's a crack in his voice. A hint that maybe he feels something after all.

But it's too late.

"I need someone who will fight for me," you turn to him. "Someone who will admit when they're wrong and actually try to do better. I need someone who can be vulnerable with me. And that's not you."

You reach for the door.

"I love you," he says suddenly, and the words sound like they're tearing their way out of his chest. "I do. I'm sorry. I'm sorry baby, okay? I'm sorry."

But you're already gone, already walking out.

And even though he said the words, even though you heard the desperation in his voice, it's too late because words without action mean nothing, and he's had his chance.

He doesn't follow you, doesn't say your name again and doesn't do anything except let you walk out of his apartment and out of his life because his pride has already destroyed everything that mattered.

The first night after the argument, he calls. You're in bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling emotionally drained with all that's running through your mind. You lift your phone and stare at the screen until it stops ringing. You tell yourself that if it mattered enough, he would've followed you out. Five minutes later another call comes through, then a text.

Hoonie♡: Are you home?

You change his contact name, lock your phone and throw it face down onto your bed. You don't answer, you don't even open it and you won't. Although when you wake up the next morning there's another one.

Sunghoon: We should talk.

You leave it unopened but by the third day the messages change.

Sunghoon: Please answer. Sunghoon: I know you're upset. Sunghoon: I'm trying.

That one almost gets you…Almost.

You stare at it for a long time because trying feels like such a cruel word after everything. Trying now, trying after everything, trying only when you're gone. You sigh heavily, putting your phone away.

About a week later you're sitting at lunch with your friend when your phone lights up again. You don't mean to look, hoping to spend some quality time with your best friend Leah, but it lights up again and again so you unlock it swiftly to put it on silent but a certain notification catches your attention.

Sunghoon: Did you eat?

Your chest hurts immediately, a horrible feeling creeping into your chest. Your eyebrows furrow and you lock your screen, placing your phone back down, still very much trying your best to ignore Leah's stare.

“You gonna answer?” she asks

“No.”

She nods then after a second, hesitantly says, “He looks like he's going through it by the way.” Your eyes find hers immediately and you can see she regretted saying it the second the words left her lips.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She averts her gaze, her attention returning to her food.

“No seriously.”

Leah sighs when she realizes you're not about to let this go easily. “I ran into the guys yesterday.” You don't respond but you feel her eyes on you. “They said he hasn't really been doing well.” Your stomach twists unpleasantly and you hate that it does, you hate that part of you immediately starts imagining him and that you still know exactly what he looks like when he's tired. Leah watches you for a second longer as you clear your throat and continue eating.

That night while you're cleaning up the last of the dishes in the sink, your phone rings again. You stare at his contact. It rings, once, twice, then a text comes in.

Sunghoon: I'm sorry Sunghoon: I just want to hear your voice

You sigh heavily, closing your eyes when another rolls in.

Sunghoon: Goodnight.

You stare at the screen until it goes dark but you still don't reply. And for the first time since you walked out of his apartment, you cry. Not because you want him back or that you're changing your mind, just because for the first time it really feels like maybe losing you finally became real to him. And that realization comes too late for both of you.

A few more days pass by with multiple missed calls and texts from Sunghoon. He shows up at your place a few times but you don't let him in.

One night Sunghoon gets home and can't help the feeling of emptiness spreading through him. Not to speak of how the apartment feels wrong. It's felt lacking ever since you left. Too quiet, not because it's empty but because it isn't.

Your mug is still in the cabinet, your hair tie is still looped around the bathroom handle. One of your hoodies is folded over the arm of the couch, your scent haunts his sheets, your favorite snacks still sitting untouched on the shelves. Nothing is gone…you surround his entire world. Your presence is so strong that your absence feels hallucinated.

Sunghoon stands in the kitchen for a long time. Then he sits down, leaning back on the couch and unlocks his phone. He opens your chat and his thumb hovers over the empty text box.

Sunghoon: I'm sorry y/n, I really am…can I please see you?.

He looks at it and deletes it, too short. He thinks for a second before typing again.

Sunghoon: I'm sorry for how I've been acting.

He stares at it for a second then deletes it again, too specific.

Sunghoon: I miss you.

He deletes it immediately and his jaw tightens. No, how can he be so shameless? Missing you is not the point. He knows he's been an ass to you lately. He locks his phone, leans forward then unlocks it and opens the chat again.

Sunghoon: I know you're ignoring me.

Delete. That sounds bitter.

Sunghoon: I know you don't want to talk to me.

He deletes it with a heavy exhale, throwing his phone onto the couch. Five minutes later he picks it back up, stares and types.

Sunghoon: I keep trying to explain myself and I think that's part of the problem.

His eyes stay on the screen before his thumb moves again.

Sunghoon: You weren't asking me to explain…you were asking me to care.

He stops and reads it then keeps going.

Sunghoon: You kept telling me I hurt you and all I cared about was proving I wasn't wrong.

His expression hardens slightly, not because he disagrees but because he doesn't like seeing it written down, it just makes him feel even worse.

Sunghoon: You asked me to choose you and I didn't realize how badly I'd been behaving towards you. I was cruel and wrong, always thinking that needing you made me weak.

His breathing slows as he stares at it.

Sunghoon: I let you think I didn't care because it felt easier than letting you see how much I did.

He stops and reads everything again, his jaw clenching in anger. Anger at himself, at his behaviour.

Sunghoon: And I'm sorry I made you beg for things I should've given freely. I know you deserve better than me…but I can't let you go, not like this.

The cursor blinks and his eyes move over the message once as his thumb hovers over the send button. He could send it, he really wants to…but suddenly he remembers your face. Mascara ruined, voice shaking, the beautiful dress you had on for him…

And he realizes something that makes his stomach turn. He didn't say any of this when it mattered and now you're gone. He stares at the send button then deletes everything. And the chat goes empty again. His phone stays in his hand for a while then he sets it face down. Quietly, to nobody in particular, he whispers, “Too late” And for the first time since you walked out of here all those nights ago, he doesn't call. He doesn't text, just sits there in silence, wallowing in his own misery.

The days drag on, long and exhausting. And no matter how much you try not to let it happen, Sunghoon stays on your mind. Days turn into weeks, and your friends slowly start getting worried.

You stop feeling like going out and your life settles into the same routine every day. You wake up early, get some chores done, go to class then to work before going home and shutting yourself in your room where you binge your favorite movies until you fall asleep, only to wake up and do it all over again.

You notice your friends watching you more carefully lately. Asking if you're okay a little too often. You keep telling them you are, and eventually they stop pushing. Until today, they're weirdly persistent about getting you out of the house today.

You let out a tired sigh and stare out the window as the car comes to a stop. Jake's throwing a party tonight, and apparently everyone's going.

You'd already told them you weren't coming but then they somehow got Jake to ask you himself. And turning Jake down isn't exactly easy. It's ridiculous how effortlessly charming he can be, completely unaware that he's part of the reason you and your boyfriend aren't together anymore.

The house is already packed when you arrive. Jake's parties are always like this, sprawling and loud and full of people you know and people you don't, the kind of loud that presses against your skull and the kind of event where you can disappear into the crowd if you need to. Which you definitely need to, considering you'd only come because your friends had worn you down with promises that Sunghoon wouldn’t be here. They lied.

You see him before he sees you…or that's what you tell yourself for approximately three seconds before his eyes find yours across the room and every single thought in your head evaporates.

He freezes, actually freezes, mid-conversation with Heeseung, his entire body goes still in a way that's almost comical if the whole situation wasn't so devastating. His expression doesn't change, he's too controlled for that, too practiced at keeping his face neutral but his eyes betray him completely. They go dark and focused and entirely on you in a way that makes your chest do something complicated.

You look away first, you have to. He's got some nerve for sure, looking at you like that, like he didn't just choose his friends over you three weeks ago and mean it. You move deeper into the crowd, toward the kitchen, where you don't have to think about the fact that he's here or that he looked at you like seeing you was the most important thing that's happened to him in weeks. You're trying very hard not to notice him but it's not really working.

He's everywhere you look, across the living room, leaning against a wall with that cold expression he wears like armor. In the kitchen doorway, watching you laugh at something your friend said. Near the stairs, his eyes track your movement through the room with an intensity that makes your skin feel like it's vibrating.

Every time you look at him directly, he holds your stare, doesn't look away.

That's new. The Sunghoon you know would have played it cool, would have pretended not to notice you and let his pride dictate that he couldn't be the one caught staring. But this version, the one standing in Jake's living room in dark pants and a black shirt, with his dark hair falling into his eyes, doesn't look away.

He just watches…it's infuriating, it's also making it very hard to breathe. You're at the drinks table, pouring yourself something stronger than you intended, when a guy you don't recognize slides up beside you.

"Hey," he says, and he's smiling in a way that suggests he thinks he's charming. "I don't think we've met. I'm Seojun."

"Y/n," you say politely. He leans against the counter, completely at ease. "So you're here with someone or...?"

"Actually, I came with-" you start, but you're not sure how to finish that sentence. You came with your friend but they're nowhere to be seen. "Cool, cool." He doesn't seem to care about the incomplete answer. "You wanna get out of here? There's a quieter room upstairs, we could-"

A hand appears on your lower back and you don't even have to turn around to know it's Sunghoon. The touch is possessive, unmistakable, and it's such a contrast to the cold distance he's maintained all night, that it catches you off guard.

"She's not interested," he says, and his voice is ice. Colder than you've ever heard it, which is saying something. Seojun glances between you two and seems to finally clue in that he's made a mistake. "Oh, shit, my bad man. Didn't know she was with you," he disappears back into the crowd, not turning back once and you immediately roll your eyes, turning to look at Sunghoon, his jaw clenched so tight it looks like it might break.

His hand is still on your back, and there's something in his expression that's pure possessiveness. "What the hell?" you say quietly, because this is Sunghoon, the guy who won't even defend you to his friends, who won't publicly claim you and treats you like you're irrelevant. And yet here he is, staking a claim like you belong to him and only him.

"He was hitting on you," Sunghoon says flatly. "I'm aware" You raise a brow. "I don't like it." His stare doesn’t leave your face. "You don't like it?" You pull away from him slightly. "Since when do you care who talks to me?"

He doesn't answer. Just watches you with that dark, focused intensity, his jaw still tight, his hand still reaching for you even though you've stepped away.

"You can't just decide you're possessive now," you say, and your voice is shaking slightly, whether from anger or something else, you're not sure. "You can't ignore me for years and then act like I'm yours the second someone else shows interest…you won't even look at me when your friends are around, but the second someone else shows interest, suddenly you're territorial?"

"That's not what this is."

"Then what is it?" You step closer, and there's anger in your voice now, real anger. "Because from where I'm standing it looks like you only care about owning me, not actually being with me."

"That's not true y/n"

"But it is...you only care when there’s competition…you want to control who I talk to but you won't fight for me, want me unavailable but you won’t choose me. Want me to be yours but you won't be mine."

His jaw clenches. "You just don't understand."

"Then explain it to me!" You're almost yelling now. "Explain to me why you get to decide I'm off limits to other people when you won't even acknowledge that I matter to you!” He doesn't respond, just stares at you like you're the only person in the room, like everyone else has disappeared and you're the only thing left that truly matters.

"You do matter," he says, his voice suddenly quiet. "You matter so much it terrifies me." The words land somewhere painful and you hate that they do. You hate that after everything, after all the weeks of silence, the way he'd look through you when his friends were around, those six words still have the power to crack something open in your chest.

"That's not enough," you say, but your voice comes out smaller than you intended. His face stills. "You can't say things like that and expect me to forget everything." You laugh, but it comes out wrong, too sharp, too close to breaking. "All I wanted was for you to show me…I wanted you to act like I mattered. Not hide me away like I was something to be ashamed of."

"I never hid you."

"You wouldn't even look at me." The words scrape coming out.

"You think I was ignoring you?" He takes a step forward, eyes never leaving yours. "I was avoiding your effect on me, Y/n." His hands come up to rest on your shoulders, and you tell yourself to step back but your body's not listening. "Every time I'm around you I can't fucking think straight." His voice drops lower "And I hated that. I hated that I couldn't be in the same room as you without losing my head completely." You shake your head slowly. "That sounds like a you problem."

"It is." His thumb moves once against your shoulder. "It's entirely my problem." You should step back and you're aware of that but you're also aware that your feet aren't moving. "The way you laugh," he says quietly, and his eyes drop for just a moment before finding yours again. "The way you smell. The way you look at me like you can see straight through everything I put up." His jaw shifts. "Your eyes are the worst part."

"Sunghoon…”

"I hear your voice after you leave." Something in his expression cracks open slightly, just for a second. "I tried to get you out of my head but I couldn't." You press your lips together and there's still that anger sitting in your chest, real and justified, and you know that.

You know words in a dim kitchen at a party don't erase months of coldness, of being kept at arm's length, of watching him pretend you were nobody, You know all of that.

And still your hand comes up and presses flat against his chest, not to push him away but just to feel whether his heart is doing what yours is. His eyes flick to where your palm rests. “You can be mad at me,” he says quietly, “You have every right to be…you can hate me if you need to.” His forehead dips slightly toward yours. “But whether you choose me or not, you'll always be the love of my life.”

Your breath catches as the words settle between you, heavy and impossible. You don’t know what to do with them, or with any of this honestly. With the way he’s looking at you like you’re the only thing in the room that hasn’t shifted beneath his feet. With the fact that some traitorous part of you has wanted to hear exactly this for months. His forehead stays close to yours but he doesn't close the distance. You realize after a second he's waiting, not assuming.

Your fingers loosen where they're tangled in the front of his shirt and his eyes flick down once before returning to yours. Then he says quietly “I need to say something and I need you not to interrupt me.”

You almost laugh. The nerve of this man…the audacity.

But something in his expression stops you. You look up at him and don't say anything. He takes that as permission letting his hands fall away from your shoulders and immediately you miss the warmth which annoys you more than anything.

His eyes stay on yours when he starts talking. “When you came to my apartment that night…” His jaw shifts, “I knew you were right.” Your expression stills and he swallows once before continuing, “You walked in and I knew.”

Your brows pull together, watching him struggle with his words, his gaze dropping briefly to his hands. “I saw you.” His voice lowers, “The beautiful dress, your pretty hair.”

His mouth presses into a thin line, “You looked excited.” Something uncomfortable twists in your chest. “You looked excited and I made you cry, I fucked up real bad…I saw you walk in there, trying to keep your cool after I had completely broke your heart.” He looks away for the first time since walking up to you tonight. “And instead of admitting I messed up…” His expression hardens at himself. “I decided that if I stayed calm enough then eventually you'd stop being upset.”

Your breathing slows and he lets out a short laugh, completely no trace of humor in it. “I thought if I apologized then that meant you finally had a reason to leave me” Your face changes slightly and his eyes catch it. Sunghoon nods once, “Yeah” his voice stays even, “That sounds bad out loud.”

You stare at him and he keeps going.

“I kept acting like every disagreement had to have a winner.” His jaw tightens.

“And if I admitted I hurt you then somehow I'd lose and you'd realize I didn't deserve you.” His eyes stay on yours. “But you weren't trying to win.” The music outside feels distant as his voice softens. “You were trying to be loved.” Your throat tightens at his words and he winces at his words, his expression shifting immediately with all the regret of these past few weeks sending his eyes lower.

“I made you feel stupid for wanting that y/n…I made the only girl I've ever loved question my love towards her all because my insecurities and overthinking had clouded my senses.” You blink in surprise and his shoulders rise and fall once. “You stood in front of me and asked me for one thing.” his gaze lifts, “to care that I fucking hurt you which was the bare fucking minimum…and I made you feel unreasonable.” His voice drops quieter, “That wasn't fair.”

You stare at him but he doesn't move, letting his words sit between you. You swallow hard and your voice comes out smaller than expected. “Why didn't you say all this then?” His eyes don't leave yours but his answer comes immediately…because this is something he's asked himself everyday since the argument.

His expression softens painfully. “Because I'm an idiot”

Your chest hurts, there's a knot in your throat and you can't breathe well. He looks down once before saying, “I was wrong. I was wrong and I'm sorry…i'm really sorry baby” Your breath catches.

“You deserved better than the version of me that loved you quietly and expected you to feel it anyway.” Your fingers tighten slightly against his shirt. He notices but his expression doesn't change. “I don't expect you to forgive me tonight…I don't expect anything.” his eyes hold yours. “But I will always want you…” his throat moves once. “I want to show you that I love you, I know I may not say it much but God, I love you so much it fucking hurts…”

His gaze flickers, “I want to be better for you, I want to change.” The room feels smaller suddenly and your eyes sting unexpectedly. You had never heard so much emotion coming from him and you didn't know how to feel. And somehow…it hurts more than all the begging ever did. You look at him for a long moment, soaking in his words. The room hasn't changed. The music is still loud somewhere behind the walls and people are still dancing, chatting and laughing.

Someone drops something in the other room and there's a chorus of exaggerated reactions. Life keeps moving, but somehow everything here feels unbearably still. Your eyes stay on his not quite knowing what to do yet…you expected explanations, defensiveness, you expected him to tell you he was trying his best, not…this.

You didn't expect him to stand in front of you and admit he was wrong. No conditions or excuses. You swallow again, your throat feeling dry after all the yelling, not to mention how much you hate that your chest hurts, it aches in a certain way when you hear him speak, when his gaze catches yours it hurts even more. You always knew you were in love with him but the feeling is so visceral and it leaves you helpless and dumbfounded.

Because part of you wanted to stay angry. Anger was easier, anger didn't miss him or care that he called and texted you a thousand times a day. Your eyes drop and you immediately notice that his hands are at his sides.You realize suddenly that he hasn't touched you since letting go.

Your throat tightens unexpectedly and you look back up. His expression shifts slightly like he's reading something in your face and immediately preparing to back away from it. He steps back once, careful not to touch you and your brows pull together.

“You should go back to your friends y/n.” Your eyes flick up and he gives a short nod. “You don't owe me this…what am I kidding, you don't owe me anything” he sighs. Your chest hurts even more than before. Simply staring at him, you exhale tiredly as he briefly looks away.

Then quietly says, “I just…” his eyes find yours again, “I didn't want the last thing you remembered from me to be that night,” his expression stays steady. “I didn't want you thinking I let you leave because I didn't care or because I didn't love you, because I love you more than anything in this world” Your throat burns at his words and you can no longer control how fast your heart is racing. “I can't get you out of my head” A pause. “I love you more than life itself” and something about that…the simplicity of it, does something to you, it breaks something open.

Because that's it, that's all you ever wanted to hear. Instead he was so quietly showing his emotions, like someone holding something precious too tightly and wondering why it couldn't breathe.

Your eyes sting and his expression changes immediately, shoulders tensing up. “Don't cry…” his voice tenses. You smack him away, bringing your hands up to cover your eyes. God this is so embarrassing. “You don't get to tell me what to do.” you roll your eyes at him. Something almost like a smile appears on his face before he lowers his face quickly.

Then you step forward and his eyes lift instantly. You stop right in front of him, close enough to feel him breathe and his expression doesn't move but his throat does. You stare at him, then ask “You're not going to stop me if I walk away right?” His eyes stay on yours, and he's unable to hide his wince, “No.” His gaze drops briefly, then returns. “I would want to stop you, really bad, but I would've respected your choice anyway.” Your heart twists and you look at him for a long second then shake your head once.

“You're so annoying.”

His brows pull together and you let out a bitter laugh. “You had months to say all this” his expression softens before he responds, “I know.”

Your fingers move before your brain catches up, you reach up and his body stills as your hand rests against his jaw. Warm…real. His eyes close for half a second as he processes that this is actually your touch.

When they open, they're softer than you've ever seen them. You swallow and your thumb moves once. “You hurt me, Hoonie.” His gaze follows your hand, “I know.”

“You made me feel stupid for loving you.” He winces again and your voice gets quieter. “I'm still angry.” His expression doesn't change, shoulders slumped in defeat.

“You should be.” You stare at him then you whisper, “but I missed you.” His eyes close, actually close, like the words hit somewhere painful. When he opens them, there's something in them you've never seen before, relief flooding every bone in his body. His voice comes out rough as he smiles down at you, “I missed you.” And then neither of you move, just stand there, too close and aware of the emotions you have for each other.

Your eyes drop to his mouth and his breathing changes instantly, gaze flickering across your features before returning to your eyes. He doesn't move at all until you realize he's waiting. Waiting for your forgiveness, for your approval. You look at him, really look, past the tense jaw, sharp edges, the dark eyes and the armor he wears. You look everywhere and you find that you have nothing left to fight with. You bite your lip in frustration, no longer able to hide the ache in your chest.

And quietly, you close the distance, your lips meet once. Soft and careful, tentative like a question and his breath leaves him immediately. Not kissing back at first, still soaking in that you're really here in his arms, then his hand comes up slowly, rests against your waist and he kisses you back, less uncertain.

And suddenly something in him breaks, because he exhales against your mouth like he's been holding that breath for months, like it's the first easy thing either of you has done in a very long time.

But the second you moan into his mouth, his control snaps completely. His hand slides into your hair, tilting your head back, and he's kissing you like he's been starving for it. Like these last few weeks of distance have nearly killed him.

You kiss him back with everything you've got, your fingers tangling in his shirt, pulling him closer, and it's desperate and angry and passionate all at once. It's weeks of frustration and longing and how much you missed each other. When he finally pulls back, you're both breathing hard, your foreheads pressed together. Your fingers loosen where they’re gripping his shirt and neither of you says anything.

Suddenly your face feels warm and you glance around, the party still loud and chaotic as it reaches its peak. People are moving around you singing, dancing and making out in the corners. Sunghoon follows your gaze and his brows raise slightly like he only just remembered there’s a world outside of this. He looks around once then back at you. A smile tugs at his lips when he notices your sudden shyness and he moves in for another kiss but you step back.

“Not here...” you murmur. His eyes stay on yours for a second longer then he nods once, reaching out and holding his hand out. You stare at it for a second. Then you place your hand in his, and his fingers close around yours instantly. His hand stays around yours as he leads you away, you don’t ask where, you just follow him.

You go upstairs, up one flight and then another until you finally reach a door at the end of the hall. When he opens the door, he steps aside first, letting you go in before him. You walk inside, noticing the room is dim and quiet which is refreshing considering the loud noise downstairs

The air is cool from an air conditioner humming softly in the background, just enough to make the warmth of the party fade off your skin. A thick, soft carpet covers the floor, muting every step you take as you move further in and it all feels almost too comfortable for a room meant for anything serious.

To one side sits a sleek gaming setup, dual monitors, a console neatly placed beneath them, controllers lined up like they’re actually cared for. Cables are hidden, everything organized in a way that feels intentional rather than messy.

Blue LED lights line the edges of the ceiling and behind the setup, casting a soft glow over everything like the room is permanently stuck between night and calm.

Across from it, a wide couch sits low, cushions slightly worn in and near the center of the room is a pool table, dark felt surface catching the blue light in soft reflections with a few balls still scattered around like someone left mid-game and never bothered to finish.

“What is this place?” You ask, still looking around the calming environment.

“It's a play room” he smirks, the blue light settling deep into his pale skin. You laugh at his suggestive tone but before you know it, he's pulling you closer, pressing a soft kiss against your cheek.

The blood rushes to your face as you turn away from him. Stupid, so stupid. You hated the effect he had on you, it had been a little over a month since you had any action, with him being your last lay and your body so easily responds to his touch.

Your mind briefly remembers the night before the fight and you feel a warm feeling blooming at your core. You had been making dinner that night, hoping to surprise him after a long day at work.

He was so turned on that night…

Your hair was still slightly wet from your shower and you were in your favorite nightgown, he had caught a whiff of your scent, still fresh from your shower, and just the way you smiled up at him when you noticed his presence, the sight of your nipples poking through your gown, he couldn't control himself.

He grabbed you and lifted you onto the countertop, pulled your panties aside and ate you out for a good 20 minutes before he stood to his feet. Wrapped your legs around his neck, nearly folding you in half and fucked you so hard that you could barely walk the next day.

“Baby can I kiss you?” His voice breaks you out of your trance, low and rough with need.

Your initial embarrassment now long gone and evolved into something warmer, something darker. You smile, the last of your hesitation melting. He leans in and kisses that smile right off your lips, deep and hungry.

His mouth finds your pulse point and he groans against your skin. “I missed you so fucking much, he sighs, his hands already trailing your hips. His hands slide under your dress, palms hot against your thighs. You should stop this, you think. Your friends are downstairs…anyone coyld come up right now.

But the second he tugs you closer and locks the door with a quiet click, all protest dies in your throat.

“This is a bad idea,” you moan as he mouths down your neck, teeth grazing. Your fingers find his hair as he tugs down the strap of your dress with his teeth. “Tell me to stop and I will.” He doesn’t stop. Instead he spins you around, pressing you against the cool door. The contrast makes you shiver. He unzips your dress slowly, letting it pool at your feet, then turns you again so he can see all of you.

“You’re breathtaking,” he murmurs, eyes dark. You reach for his shirt, pulling it over his head. The sight of his broad shoulders and toned chest makes your mouth go dry. “It's been so long, I don't know if I-” you gasp against his lips, pulling back enough so he can hear you.

“You know I fuck you good, baby” he whispers, backing you up toward the couch until your legs hit the edge and you sink down. Sunghoon drops to his knees between your thighs like it’s the only place he belongs. He presses open mouthed kisses up your inner thigh, then hooks his fingers in your panties and drags them down. The cool air hits your wet folds a second before his hot tongue flattens against your clit.

You cry out, fingers flying into his hair. His big hands wrap around your legs and he yanks you forward, wrapping your thighs around his face as you moan into the pillows, your legs trembling when he presses his face into your pussy and inhales. Your hands find purchase in his hair, fingers tangling deep as he does it again, his nose rubbing against your clit through the thin fabric of your panties. He inhales deeply, and your eyes nearly roll into the back of your head.

“Fuck” he curses under his breath. And when he pulls back, he's breathing hard, his gaze unfocused. He presses his wet tongue flat against your clit, licking at your juices until you're whimpering his name.

He eats you like he’s starving, long and slow licks before his lips close around your clit, sucking slowly until you're arching into his mouth. His tongue pushes inside you, fucking you with it while his nose grinds against your clit. You’re shaking, grinding against his face, fingers tight in his hair and he groans at your taste, loving how your thighs are trembling around him.

He edges you on until the exact second he's sure you're gonna cum, then he pulls away completely. Leaving a quick kiss against your pelvis before pulling back, lips shiny. Your whines of protest quickly die down when you hear his next words.

“Sit on my face, baby”

You hesitate, cheeks burning, but he doesn’t wait. He lies back on the carpet and pulls you over him, strong hands guiding your hips down until you’re smothering him with your pussy. His tongue immediately goes back to work, fucking into you while his nose grinds against your clit.

You brace your hands on the floor and rock against his mouth, moans spilling freely. His tongue drags across you once, sucking your clit into his mouth, long and hard pulls that have you babbling nonsense as the wetness slicks your thighs. “Oh my…F-Fuck” you cry when his tongue slips inside you, low groans leaving his throat with each lick. Your hands find his hair again, moans spilling past your lips as you grind against him.

He sucks hard on your clit and your orgasm crashes through you without warning. You come with a broken cry, thighs clamping around his head as you grind down, soaking his face. He licks you through every pulse, greedy and relentless, until you’re trembling and oversensitive. Your juices spill down his chin but he doesn't let up. The cold air hits your nipples, a high contrast from the heat dragging between your thighs and it's not long before your moans turn to cries.

You grind against his tongue, feeling up your body as the pleasure overwhelms you, another orgasm already making its way up. His efforts send a shudder wracking through your body, your thighs trembling around his head and with a loud cry, you roll your hips against his mouth, fingers digging into his hair.

“I'm s-so close” you moan, his sharp gaze locks onto yours, a groan rumbling through you as his eyes fall to your chest. He sucks your clit into his mouth again, loving the way your tits bounce as you completely lose yourself to him, dark eyes watching you desperately chase your orgasm.

“H-Hoon I can't!” the rest of your statement evolves into a scream as you squirm, attempting to pull away from him. But he tightens his grip around your thighs, forcing you down as the sparks of your orgasm shoots through you.

You cry out, legs shuddering around his face as tears well up in your eyes, your body no longer under your control. Your release shakes you to your core and your legs give out immediately. A loud gasp escapes you and he licks you through it, holding you still as your release splashes against his face. He groans against you, flipping you over until he's buried in between your legs again and your release is spilling down your ass.

He licks it all up, pressing a hand over your mouth when your cries turn into screams, he grips your thighs and rests your legs on his shoulders so he can push his tongue inside you as you breathlessly grind out the rest of your release. “Such a good girl” he praises, sending a violent tremor through your body when he presses a kiss against your clit. Only then does he pull away, lips shiny and eyes wild. He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, breathing hard. “You taste so fucking sweet”

You barely have time to process your intense orgasm before he's pulling his pants down, and settling between your thighs. You watch him through lidded eyes as he drags his tip over your aching clit, another shudder running through you when you let out a gasp. His eyes search your face, dropping to your chest.

“Hands and knees.”

You obey on shaky limbs, positioning yourself so that your face is pressed against the softness of the carpet and your ass is high up in the air, arching your back the way he likes. “Arch for me baby, that's it, just like that” the approval in his tone sends another wave of heat to your stomach, your fingers shaking as you try to hold back a moan.

You feel his hot tongue between your legs again and you bite your lip to suppress your moan as he drags it all the way from your clit to your entrance. And without any further warning, he grips your hip, holds you down, and then he's pushing inside you with one smooth thrust. The stretch is perfect, full and deep. You both moan and you feel so full and delicious that your legs nearly give out.

Sunghoon stills behind you, his control slipping through the cracks as he tries to stay grounded. “Fuck, you always take me so well,” he growls, voice strained. His words wrap around you like a warm blanket and suddenly you can't control yourself, you want to make him feel good, want him to lose it with you.

You push back to meet his thrusts and he hisses, gripping your hip tighter. Completely drunk on pleasure, the moans leave your lips naturally. “You're so fucking big, holy f-fuck you're gonna make me cum” you pant, your vision blurring when his tip brushes against your g-spot.

He starts moving, faster, hips snapping against your ass. Every thrust hits that spot that makes stars burst behind your eyes “Do it, cum for me” his hand wraps around one of your legs, lifting it higher to hit that spot just right. “Cum all over my dick, so I can fuck you again” dark spots cloud your vision as he pulls out to the tip, your arousal gushing down your thighs before he slams back in.

Your orgasm quickly builds again, it starts at the base of your spine when he picks up his pace, the loud music managing to cover your cries as his heavy balls slap against your ass with each thrust.

Your juices mix with his, running down your thighs and the sight turns him on so much that he wraps a hand around your hair, pulling you back so his lips are pressed against your ear and his breath fans down the length of your nape. “You're always so wet for me, it feels good, doesn't it?”

His hand snakes around to rub your clit and you clench hard around him. “Cum all over me, baby. Let me feel you.” You shatter again, crying out into the carpet as pleasure rips through you. He fucks you through it, groaning at the way you pulse around him, then pulls out and flips you onto your back.

“That's it, you're amazing” he whispers, “I’m gonna give it to you good, gonna fill you up” you whimper when his thumb brushes against your clit again, dragging out your orgasm.

"Legs on my shoulders, baby.” You obey, still panting. He folds you neatly, pressing a messy kiss to your lips as he lines himself up and sinks deep in one smooth thrust. The stretch pulls a broken moan from your throat. “Fuck, you're so tight,” he groans against your mouth.

“Such a perfect little pussy” He picks up speed, hips snapping harder as he kisses you the whole time, slow and filthy, swallowing every sound you make. When your eyes start to water from the overwhelming pleasure, a few tears slip down your temples.

Sunghoon notices immediately, kissing them away without slowing down. “Shh, I’ve got you, baby. You’re doing so good.” The new angle has his dick dragging perfectly against that spot inside you. More tears fall as the pleasure borders on too much.

“Look at me,” he murmurs, voice low and tender. “You’re so beautiful. My good girl. My perfect girl. Let go for me.” The new angle is devastating. His hand wraps loosely around your throat, thumb stroking your clit as he drives into you hard and fast. “Give me one more,” he demands, voice rough. “I want to feel you come while I’m buried inside you.”

You’re so sensitive it almost hurts, but the pleasure builds again anyway. When it peaks, you clamp down on him with a broken moan, nails digging into his shoulders. You shatter with a sob, clenching hard around him and he fucks you through it, murmuring praises the entire time.

“That’s it…just like that. You’re squeezing me so tight, baby.” He pulls out, flips you onto your stomach again, and pulls your hips up. You barely have time to catch your breath before he’s pushing back in from behind, one hand fisting your hair gently.

But he doesn’t stay there long. He pulls out again, turns you to face him, and lifts you. Sunghoon's lips find yours in a hungry kiss before Your back hits the cool wall and your legs wrap around his waist. He kisses you deeply as he thrusts back inside, and with his gaze on yours, he begins thrusting again, your moans mingling with his low groans as the wet sounds echo between you.

His eyes search your face, watching your every reaction to each and every one of his thrusts. And when your brows furrow and legs tremble around him at a particular spot. He buries his face in your neck, fucking into you fast and hard, his tip kissing the sweet spot with every thrust until the budding sensation in your stomach overtakes your senses as he takes you against the wall with deep, powerful strokes. “H-Hoon it's too much, Oh my God” you moan against his lips, tears rolling down your face as he kisses down your neck.

Your toes curl around him, head falling back and cold shivers wrack through your body as his lips trail your throat “Give me one more baby, cum all over my dick, you can take it” his hand finds your clit again, rubbing in circular motions as your cries grow louder and your breathing hitches.

You feel him pulse inside you and with every glide of his dick against your walls, you feel yourself getting closer. His hand wraps around your throat, squeezing slightly, and your eyes go wide when you realize you can no longer hold it back. Your nails dig into his shoulders as another orgasm builds fast.

Tears are streaming down your face now from the intensity. Sunghoon kisses them away, then kisses your lips again, softer this time. “Don’t hold back, princess. Cum for me, I want to feel you fall apart, you cum so good” And you do, hard.

Your whole body shakes as you come with a broken cry. He groans your name, hips stuttering as you moan out your release, biting into his shoulder when your orgasm explodes, gushing around him in pulsing waves as he curses under his breath, fucking you through it.

Sunghoon doesn't give you time to catch your breath, he pulls out of you, turns you around before pushing back in, and you're so overstimulated, still spilling around him when he begins thrusting again, now eagerly chasing his own release.

He grips your hips bruisingly tight, his hips slapping against yours, balls dripping with cum as he fucks into you so hard, each thrust sending a helpless moan out of your lips and the feeling is almost instantaneous. He pushes deep inside you, groaning out his climax as hot white ropes of his cum coat your womb.

The two of you stay still for a second, drowning in the after effects of your release. His heavy breathing mixes with yours and you push back against him to ease out, your mind completely gone.

He pulls out slowly and drops to his knees behind you, gripping your ass in his hands. He licks between your legs, and you cry out for the last time, pushing back against his face as he manages to draw out one last orgasm from you before you're pushing him away.

You stay pressed against the wall for a long moment, foreheads together, breathing each other in. He kisses you again slowly, sweet and grounding before carefully lowering you to your feet.

It had been so long since the two of you had sex like this and with all the fights and arguments and high emotions lately, you had completely forgotten how great he was in bed. You can barely feel your legs. He lifts you easily and lays you back down on the soft carpet, settling you gently onto your back.

His gaze stays locked on yours as he cleans you up with his handkerchief, the touch so careful and reverent it makes something warm bloom in your chest. All the while he murmurs soft praise against your skin. “So perfect… my good girl. You did so well, baby.”

He slides your panties slowly up your thighs, then reaches behind you to clasp your bra with gentle fingers. “So beautiful,” he whispers, almost to himself, but you catch every word. He treats you like something precious, a doll he’s afraid of breaking as he helps you back into your dress, zipping it up with the same quiet care.

Only when you’re fully dressed does he pull his own shirt back on. He cups your face with both hands and presses a slow, lingering kiss to your lips. “Are you tired, baby?” he asks softly, eyes searching yours. You nod, still a little dazed. “All of that made me sleepy… but ice cream sounds really good right now,” you admit with a helpless sigh.

A warm smile spreads across his face. He helps you to your feet, steadying you when your legs wobble. “Ice cream it is. Come on.” The moment you think about walking back out to the party, fresh panic rises in your chest.

“Wait… is it okay to go out there right away?” Your voice is small, embarrassed. “I feel like it’s really obvious we just had sex.” Sunghoon laughs a little, the sound warm and low before playfully ruffling your hair, “Why? Are you embarrassed?” You swat his hand away immediately, trying to smooth your hair down with whatever dignity you have left.

“What? no.” the denial comes a little too fast. His eyebrows lift, that tiny amused smile lingering on his lips like he’s enjoying watching you squirm. The mischievous glint in his eyes makes your ears burn hotter. “We can hang outside for a while until you feel more comfortable,” he suggests, voice gentle but teasing. "Fine," you mumble, refusing to meet his gaze. "But only for a little while."

“Sure,” he says simply, clearly humoring you. He kisses your cheek one last time, then unlocks the door. Sunghoon goes first, slipping through the hallway with an ease that's honestly unfair, hands in his pockets, completely unbothered, nodding once at someone who calls his name without stopping.

You trail a few steps behind, trying very hard to look like you belong exactly where you are and are absolutely not sneaking anywhere. The back door clicks shut behind you both and suddenly the noise of the party becomes muffled, distant. The night air is cooler than you expected and you breathe it in slowly, shoulders dropping about three inches. "See?" Sunghoon glances over at you. "Still alive."

"Barely," you say, and he laughs softly at that, quiet and warm. You walk without much of a plan until the convenience store sign two blocks down catches your eye. "Ice cream," you say. It isn't really a question. He looks where you're looking and then just starts walking that direction.

The freezer section is tiny and overcrowded with options and you stand in front of it for an unreasonable amount of time, the cold air drifting out and cooling your still-warm face.

Sunghoon reaches past you without hesitation and pulls out a strawberry bar, simple as anything. You deliberate for another full ten seconds before grabbing one too. He pays before you can even reach for your wallet. When you open your mouth to protest, he gently grabs your hand. “Don’t,” he says mildly, already leading you back outside.

You end up sitting side by side on a low wall, shoulders brushing. The party is a faint thrum in the background. Out here it’s just the quiet street, passing cars, and the soft sound of melting ice cream.

Sunghoon is quiet, the comfortable kind. You steal a glance at him and find him already looking at you. When you quickly look away, he reaches over and brushes a smudge of ice cream from the corner of your mouth with his thumb. “You had some,” he murmurs. Your heart stutters. “Oh.” He says nothing else, just goes back to his ice cream like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

After a moment, his voice comes out low and rough. “You know I love you, right?” The words sound like they cost him nothing. “I’ve loved you this whole time. Every second since you walked out…I've been thinking about you. I was just too much of a coward to say it. I’m sorry but I need you to know it.”

You close your eyes for a second.

“I’ve been waiting to hear that,” you whisper.

“I know.”

“I’m still angry.”

“I know.” His voice is quiet, patient.

“But…” You shift closer until your thigh presses against his. “I’m also tired of waiting for you to fix this on your own. It's going to take you forever, isn't it? You’ll keep hiding behind that control and pride unless I force you to stop.” He shakes his head slowly. “So I’m forcing you,” you say. “Right now. No more walls, no more shutting me out, If we do this again, you have to actually let me in. You have to try.”

“You’re right.” He swallows. “I don’t know if I’m good at it yet… but I’ll learn. I won’t let you down again.” A small smile tugs at your lips. You wrap your arms around his neck and he pulls you against his chest, pressing a kiss into your hair.

“Call me tomorrow,” you mumble into his shirt. “Plan something. Show up. Don’t make me drag the truth out of you every time. I mean it.”

He nods against your forehead. “I will.”

“And if you ever shut me out like that again-”

“I won’t.” His voice is steady and certain. “I can’t. Never again.” You pull back just enough to look at him. In the moonlight, the regret and quiet desperation on his face are unmistakable. He reaches out slowly, giving you time to move away, then gently tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.

You sit in comfortable silence for a while. Eventually his head ends up in your lap, your fingers threading through his hair as you trace the beauty marks on his face. He kisses your hand softly whenever it passes his lips.

“We should head back, Hoonie,” you whisper. “Just a little longer” His eyes stay closed, content. You play with his hair a few minutes more, adjusting his collar, before he finally sits up.

He stands first, brushing off his slacks, then offers you his hand without a word. You take it. His fingers close around yours firmly, like they belong there, and he doesn’t let go as you walk back toward the party.

The noise hits you before the door comes into view, heavy bass vibrating through the walls, overlapping voices, and the thick warmth of too many bodies in one space. You slow down without meaning to and Sunghoon notices instantly, his thumb brushes once across your knuckles, a small quiet reminder that his hand is still there.

You let out a slow breath and let him lead you inside. The second the door opens, the party swallows you both. Someone spots Sunghoon almost immediately and calls his name. He turns toward the voice, calm and unhurried, but his fingers stay laced tightly with yours. He doesn’t let go. Not even for a second.

A few heads turn, eyes drop to your joined hands. Sunghoon doesn’t acknowledge the stares. He answers whoever called him in short, even tones, then glances down at you, just a quick, quiet check. You squeeze his hand and he squeezes back.

He moves through the crowd at his own pace, one hand holding yours while the other finds the small of your back whenever the space gets tight. The touches are effortless and automatic, like his body is accustomed to the fact that he's done it a thousand times.

A guy you vaguely recognize claps Sunghoon on the shoulder and starts chatting. Sunghoon listens, replying in those measured sentences he’s so good at and you drift half a step back to give him space, but his arm extends without even looking. He finds your hand again and gently pulls you back to his side. His thumb continues tracing slow, absent patterns on your skin, like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

The guy’s eyes slide to you with open curiosity. You look down at your intertwined fingers and exhale. Somehow, the party feels smaller now.

As you step into the living room, you feel the shift, eyes turning, realization dawning on people’s faces as they notice your joined hands. “Oh, no way” Jake leans back on the couch, a slow grin spreading across his face. “Well, well, well.” Heeseung glances up at his statement, blinks, then chuckles and nudges him.

Jake just shrugs, clearly entertained. “What? I’m surprised.” Your face heats up instantly and Sunghoon’s grip tightens slightly around your hand. “You disappeared for like ten minutes,” Jay says, looking between the two of you, “and now you’re holding hands?”

Sunghoon raises an eyebrow. “Not your business.”

“God damn,” Jake clutches his chest dramatically. “He’s protective now.”

“Maybe they’re both just drunk,” Riki offers with full confidence. Sunghoon turns to him slowly, completely calm. “No we're not, we just talked.” The room goes quiet for a beat. Everyone here knows what the last few weeks looked like. Jake’s eyes widened. “Wait…you apologized?” Sunghoon gives him a flat look and that makes him gasp.

“Oh my God.” he says as Heeseung starts laughing. Sunoo sits up, suddenly very interested. “You? You apologized?” “That’s enough,” Sunghoon says, voice flat, clearly done with the conversation. But your smile slips out anyway and everyone notices. “Aww look at her,” Jake coos. “She’s so cute, y/n’s so cute, you guys look really cute right now”

Sunghoon ignores him and laces your fingers tighter. He turns back to Jake with the most unimpressed expression you’ve ever seen. “Are you done?”

Jake opens his mouth to no doubt spew some more ragebait but Sunghoon won't hear it, “Are you done?” he repeats, tone final. Jake closes his mouth for half a second then says “I’m just saying…you're lucky she forgave you man, you should be grateful every single day.”

Sunghoon’s voice drops, quiet but clear. “I am.”

The room stills as everyone goes quiet.

Sunghoon doesn’t say things like that, not publicly at least. His ears are faintly pink, jaw tight, but he doesn’t take it back.

Jake’s teasing tone softens. “Okay…good.”

Sunghoon exhales slowly, thumb brushing your knuckles again. Then Jake, never one to let a tender moment last, jumps up onto the edge of the couch with his drink raised. “Alright, that’s it! This one’s for Hoon and y/n, everybody!”

The house erupts. Cheers, whistles, clinking bottles.

“To their reunion!” Jake yells.

“To their reunion!” the room echoes back.

You cover your face with your free hand and try to hide behind Sunghoon. It doesn’t work, Jake can still see you and points directly at your hiding spot. Someone starts clapping, then it turns into a chant.

You peek out from behind Sunghoon’s shoulder in horror and he goes still for a second…then laughs, quiet at first, shoulders shaking, unguarded in a way you rarely see. The sound makes the embarrassment fade into something warmer.

You look up at him. His cheeks faintly pink, soft smile on his face, still holding your hand like he has no intention of letting go and your chest tightens with affection.

“Speech!” Jake demands, pointing at Sunghoon.

“No.”

“Speech! Speech! Speech!”

Sunghoon stares at him, completely deadpan. “No.”

Jake immediately pivots to you. “Y/n?”

You shake your head so fast your hair flies. Absolutely not. The room boos dramatically. Sunghoon glances down at you, amused, then lifts your joined hands and presses a slow, deliberate kiss to the back of yours, never breaking his gaze away from yours. And the room loses it all over again.

You make a mortified sound at all the attention and bury your face in his shoulder. He shifts slightly to shield you better, the quiet laugh still rumbling in his chest as chaos swirls around you both.

When the chaos finally quiets, Sunghoon notices how overwhelmed you look. He’s hyper-aware of you now in a way he wasn’t before tonight. Without a word, his hand settles at the small of your back as he gently steers you away from the noise. You move through the hallway, past the thick of the crowd, until the kitchen opens up around you, quieter, cooler and the party reduced to a distant, muffled hum.

He exhales the moment you’re there, like he needed the quiet just as badly.

His hands wrap around your waist, and in one smooth motion he lifts you onto the countertop, stepping between your legs.

“You okay?” His voice is softer now, quieter. Nothing like the cold, measured tone he used to wear like armor.

“Yeah” You look up at him in the dim orange glow of the kitchen light and press a quick kiss to his cheek.

He draws you closer, resting his forehead against yours and for a long moment, neither of you speaks, you just breathe together while the party throbs somewhere far away.

Later, when the party has thinned out, he insists on driving you home, not leaving you any room to argue. Once behind the wheel, he reaches for your hand before he’s even pulled out of the parking spot, as if the distance between you is already unbearable. His thumb traces slow circles over your knuckles the entire drive, neither of you mentions it.

You watch the streetlights blur past and steal glances at him. Every time, his grip tightens slightly, like he can feel your eyes on him even while he watches the road. When he pulls up outside your building and cuts the engine, neither of you moves.

He speaks first. “Can I see you tomorrow?”

You turn to him and he’s already watching you. “We can get coffee,” you say. “I’ll make time.”

Something in his shoulders eases. “Okay” He exhales. “Okay.” You reach for your seatbelt but still don’t move, he doesn’t either. The quiet stretches, warm and heavy “I should go in,” you whisper.

“Yeah,” he agrees, voice low. You turn toward him and he’s already there, closer than you realized. His hand rising to cradle your face, his thumb brushes slowly across your cheekbone, fingers curling gently along your jaw, like he has all the time in the world.

You lean into his touch. His eyes soften at the movement. You lean in and kiss him, slow, unhurried, more promise than passion. He kisses you back with both hands now framing your face, as if one wasn’t enough to convince himself you’re real. When you finally pull away, you stay close, foreheads nearly touching.

“Goodnight,” you whisper, “Five more minutes.” he whispers back.

You laugh softly and he pulls you in by the back of your neck until your forehead rests properly against his chest, and you sit like that in the dark car, neither of you counting.

Eventually you make yourself pull away and step out. You’re halfway to your building when your phone buzzes.

Sunghoon: already miss you

You stop walking, pressing your lips together to hide your smile. When you glance back, his car is still idling at the curb. You can see him watching you through the windshield and you’re still editing his contact name when another text comes in.

Hoonie♡: coffee tomorrow. don’t forget Y/N: I won’t forget! Hoonie♡: looking forward to it, goodnight beautiful Y/N: goodnight :3

You stand there smiling like an idiot long after his car pulls away, the warmth in your chest following you all the way upstairs.

The next few months settle into something softer.

You wake up one morning to a quiet apartment. Sunghoon has always been an early riser, but the silence today feels intentional. You pad into the living room wearing one of his shirts and find him standing by the window, two coffees already made. His expression is carefully neutral. The kind that usually means he’s nervous or planning something.

“Good morning,” he says, voice gentle and a small smile touching his lips.

“Morning” You accept the coffee he offers “You’ve been up for a while.”

“Mhm, Couldn’t sleep” He doesn’t look at you, just stares out the window, “I have something for you.”

“Hoonie, we talked about this. You don’t have to keep buying me things,” you sigh.

“It’s not that kind of thing.” He finally turns to face you, and you catch the flicker of nerves in his eyes. “Come with me.”

Confused, you follow him to the bedroom. He opens your side of the closet and gestures inside. At first you see nothing unusual. Then, a tiny meow.

Your eyes widen at the sound and tucked in the back corner, in a little bed he clearly set up, is a tiny gray kitten. She’s so small she could fit in your palm and when she spots you, she wobbles forward with pure kitten determination.

“Oh my god…”

“You mentioned that you love animals,” Sunghoon says, voice carefully controlled.

You scoop her up and she immediately starts purring, burrowing against your chest. Tears prick at your eyes.

“Hoonie, this is…”

“Too much?” He sounds genuinely worried. “I can return her if-”

“She's perfect.” You turn to him, the kitten cradled in your arms. “She's perfect and I love it, I love you.”

Something in his face softens completely. He reaches out, brushing his thumb across your cheek in that now-familiar gesture. “I love you more,” he says. The words still sound new coming from him, but he says them anyway. Every single day. And every time, it warms you straight through.

You name her Star.

She quickly becomes the center of your little world. Sunghoon throws himself into it the way he does everything, methodical, thorough, almost comically serious. He researches the best kitten food, sets up play schedules, and buys her an absurd number of toys. But the sweetest moments are the quiet ones. Catching him reading with Star curled asleep on his chest, his expression peaceful in a way it never used to be.

He brings you flowers a lot. Not just once every few weeks, but every other day a new arrangement appears on the kitchen counter with a note in his neat handwriting. “Thinking of you” and “For You” or simply his initials. Small, consistent proof that he’s thinking about you even when you’re apart.

He plans dates, dinners, museum visits, walks in the park with Star in her little carrier. He’s still a little stiff sometimes, still learning how to do casual romance, but he tries. He reaches for your hand without overthinking it, he laughs at your jokes even when they’re terrible. He listens.

Some other mornings, like this one, you wake to find him already watching you, eyes soft in the early light.

“morning princess” he says, voice still rough with sleep. You smile, shifting closer. “morning.”

Before either of you can say more, Star launches herself onto the bed like a tiny gray missile and wedges firmly between you.

You both burst out laughing, his real, unguarded laugh that still feels like a gift. He pulls you both closer, smiling as Star purrs triumphantly.

Your relationship's not perfect, it’s still messy and fragile sometimes. He still struggles with vulnerability and you still have to remind him it’s safe to stay but it’s real.

And for the first time in a long time, real is enough.

-> made by @taexvan ●RULES ●MASTERLIST ●TAGLIST

(a/n:) hihihi! first off, I want to thank everyone who took the time to read this. I really appreciate you <3 And if you're here for the first time, this is part two to my seven deadly sins series! if you'd like you can check out heeseung's version here! part 3 shall be coming very soon :] And if you want to be added to the taglist for this series you can leave a comment asking to be added or inbox me directly! ~vivi

☆taglist! @melodisic @baekgufx @gyubdaengi