#t100fic

~~~

“You what?” Bellamy asks, looking at Clarke surprised. Clarke shakes her head softly and sighs. She quickly latches the button on her pants.

“I like Murphy, too.” Clarke says, putting on her jacket. Bellamy slips on his shirt and scoffs.

“Seriously?” Bellamy asks, and Clarke crosses her arms and looks at him.

“Look, I told you I’m poly when we first got together. I told you this might happen.” Clarke says, and Bellamy throws his arms up.

“Yeah! But I thought it would be like, Raven or Someone else, not Murphy!“ Bellamy exclaims, plopping down on the bed. Clarke sighs and shakes her head.

“Your issue is with who I like?” Clarke asks, walking forward. Bellamy looks up at her, his shoulder obviously tense. She brings her hand to his face and cups it.

“I don’t like him.” Bellamy grounds out, and Clarke sighs. She steps back and grabs her gun holster from the top of her dresser.

“That’s because you won’t give him a chance.” She says, walking over to the other side of the room, where her boots lay. She grabs them and walks over to the bed. She sits down and starts putting them on.

“Listen, you know i'm supportive of you, and heck if it was anyone else I’d probably be happy, but Murphy isn’t good.” Bellamy says, his voice low. Clarke sighs and gets up.

“Did you know he’s been working with my mother in the med bay?” Clarke asks, going to the little bathroom that is connected to their room. Bellamy gets up and followers her into it, watching as she grabs her toothbrush. “Or that he’s been helping Monty at the gardens? Or that he’s been helping Miller and Brian get along? Or that he’s been-”

“Okay, okay I get it.” Bellamy says, grabbing his toothbrush as well, pushing Clarke slightly to the side. Clarke grabs the toothpaste, and Bellamy takes it from her hand before she can use it. She glares up at him through the mirror and Bellamy hides a smile.

“Do you really? Because he’s not bad. He’s misunderstood.” Clarke says, letting Bellamy give her back the toothpaste. Bellamy Sighs and starts brushing.

Bellamy brushes for a second, before pulling out the tooth brush and spitting into the sink “Listen, he killed two kids.” Bellamy says, and Clarke raises an eyebrow.

“Okay? And we killed all of the mountain men.” Clarke says, putting her tooth brush in. Bellamy sighs.

“That’s different. We did it for an actual reason.” Bellamy says, going to brush his teeth more. Clarke spits out some toothpaste and sighs exasperated.

“He had his own reasons too!” Clarke says, grabbing the cup next to the sink and putting water in it. She takes some into her mouth and spits out the rest of the toothpaste. She always brushes way faster than him, he hates it because it gives her more time to talk during these morning discussions they regularly have.

“Yeah, like revenge. How is that anything similar to why we did what we did?” Bellamy asks, now spitting out his toothpaste again. He grabs the cup and rinses out his mouth, before following Clarke out of the bathroom.

“He did it to save himself. He was scared, Bellamy. Have you even bothered to ask about how he felt?” Clarke asks, grabbing a few more things from her dresser drawer. Bellamy sighs and opens his drawer to grab a few of his own things.

“Listen, I can’t stop you from liking him, Hell, even being with him, but I’m not going to like it. I don’t want anywhere near him.” Bellamy says, and Clarke Grabs his arm before he can walk away.

“Bell, please.” Clarke says softly. Bellamy lets her grab his hand and She looks up into his eyes. “Please, Bell. I want this to work. I want you and him to get along.” She says.

“That’s never going to happen.” Bellamy says, taking his hand away.

“At least try. Come to lunch with us today.” Clarek says, and Bellamy sighs. He looks to the ground and then back up at Clarke, her eyes wide and begging. He feels his stubborn-ness give and he sighs softly.

“Okay, fine, I’ll have lunch with you, two.” Bellamy says, and Clarke smiles widely. She jumps forward and kisses him softly, and Bellamy smiles into the kiss.

“Thank you, Bell.” Clarke says, her voice filled with love.

“Anything for you, Princess.”

During the day, Before Clarke went in to get her job done, she stopped by to tell Murphy about everything. Murphy wasn’t surprised that Bellamy didn’t trust thim, If he was being honest he barely even trusted Bellamy, but for Clarke he’ll try anything. And if that means along the way he and Bellamy get closer, then he might as well try. So, he agreed to join them.

A few hours later, Bellamy and Clarke are sitting at a table in Arkadia’s eating area, they both have their plates, and drinks, and are eating as they talk about the day.

“Murphy should be here by now.” Bellamy says, taking a bit of his food. He brings his head back up and looks at Clarke. Clarke grabs her napkin and brings it up to wipe at a spot on his lip where some food stayed. He smiles softly at her, “Thanks.”

“He’s probably just running a little late.” Clarke says, putting down her napkin and taking a bite herself.

“He probably decided to ditch us.” Bellamy snarks, taking a drink of his water. Clarke sighs and puts down her fork.

“He wouldn’t do that.” Clarke says, looking at Bellamy with a serious expression.

“Ah, right, because the guy who was a juvenile delinquent wouldn’t skip out on lunch.” Bellamy snarks, and then a voice comes from behind them.

“Yeah, uh, sorry. Miller came in with a cut the size of my hand on his side. I had to patch him up.” Clarke looks behind her to see Murphy standing there, looking at Bellamy with a look that tells her this will not be easy. She jumps up and kisses him on the cheek. “Hey.” He says, smiling at her, like she can make his day go from a nightmare, to a daydream. Bellamy gets that. She always cheers him up at the end of the day. Clarke grabs his hand and pulls him over to the table.

“Sorry, we kind of started without you.” Clarke says, sitting in her spot. Murphy sits next to her, on the opposite side of where Bellamy is sitting, and sighs softly, happy to be sitting down for the first time in a few hours.

“It’s fine, Clarke. You didn’t know when I’d get here.” Murphy says, raising his hand so a guy who will come get his order can see him. He always tries to give them extra help whenever he can, when he’s off work he sometimes comes in and works with them.

“Heya Murphy! The usual?” The server asks, and Murphy nods softly. The server walks away, and Murphy looks to Clarke and sighs.

“Hard day?” Clarke asks, genuinely worried.

“Yeah, a lot of people are getting hurt lately.” Murphy says, shrugging as if it’s not too much for him. Honestly, when he agreed to work with Abby, he was happy to do it. It was good for him to feel useful, and to help people. But now it’s too much sometimes. The blood gets sickening sometimes, especially when it stains his hands.

“And you’re worried about how much work you have to do?” Bellamy asks, his eyebrow raised. Clarke glares at him softly and his his leg under the table. Murphy sighs and looks down at the table. “I obviously care about them, Bellamy, or else I wouldn’t be doing it in the first place.” Murphy grounds out, trying to keep his voice calm. Bellamy has no idea what he goes through every day, or how much work he does, or anything like that. He has no right to assume all he cares about is how much time he has to work. As much as Murphy would like to cuss Bellamy out, the warmth coming from Clarke is enough to keep him grounded. He's doing this for her.

“Anyway! How has your day been?” Clarke asks, grabbing Bellamy’s hand. Murphy lets his gaze linger on the touch before smiling softly. He’s happy when Clarke can get love, in any form she does. As much as he is hesitant of Bellamy, he knows Bellamy will take care of her.

“It’s been okay. I’ve had to yell at a few people, keep them in their lane.” Belamy says, taking a bite of his food, that Clarke had forgotten existed. She feels bad eating while Murphy sits there without anything.

“Here, have a bite.” Clark says, pushing her food towards him. Murphy smiles and does as he’s told, knowing that Clarke will probably take his head off if he refuses to eat. Clarke looks around them for a moment before looking back at Bellamy, who is staring at Murphy. She sighs and kicks him under the table and gives him a look. Bellamy makes a face that Clarke knows to mean “What?!?” and Clarke glares at him.

“You guys do this often?” Murphy asks, pointing a finger between them.

“Do what?” Bellamy snaps, before taking a deep breath and calming himself. “Do what?” He asks softer this time.

“Talk with your faces.” Murphy says, a small smirk on his lips. He looks at Clarke and laughs when she blushes.

“Also, Bellamy, can you stop staring at me? I’d appreciate it. I mean, unless you’re appreciating my god given good looks.” Murphy continues and Clarke laughs and bumps into him with her shoulder. Bellamy feels his cheeks heat up despite himself and he looks back at his food, his jaw tight. Murphy sees this and back tracks a bit. “Look, man, I was just joking, sorry.” He says, pushing Clarke’s food away from him, and back to her. He reaches forward and steals Clarke’s water and takes a sip.

“Murphy!” The server says, walking over and giving him his food. Murphy smiles and nods at him.

“Thanks, how about later I help you with that shoulder? You said it's been bothering you.” Murphy says, taking his food and looking at it with excitement. He has always liked food, especially after working in the medbay.

“Really? It’s been really bugging me, it makes me slower to work.” The server says, giving him his cup and pouring water in it.

“Dude, of course. Come by the med bay after your shift.” Murphy says, trying not to think about how busy he already is. He always just keeps adding on.

“Great!” The server says, before walking off. Murphy grabs his fork and starts eating before he notices Clarke is smiling at him.

“What?” Murphy says, a smile on his face.

“I love when you help people.” Clarke says softly. Murphy smiles and feels his cheeks heat up.

“Yeah, yeah, eat it all up.” Murphy jokes, and takes a drink of his own water.

“How much do you work?” Bellamy asks, looking at Murphy. Murphy puts down his cup and messes with his hair.

“Well, I have multiple jobs. Different jobs, different days. I have the medbay, which is what I am doing today, Where I work from 7 am to 8 pm. I have a lunch break between that, as you can see right now, and I have a few other short 10 minute breaks in between.” Murphy starts to explain, and Bellamy puts down his fork to listen better. Clarke smiles, knowing that listening is one of Bellamy’s ways to show he cares. “I work at the gardens with Monty on some days, those days are more laid back. Monty doesn’t expect me to do much. Usually I just water some plants, sometimes I gather stuff. And most other days I just pick up whatever job I can to help. There’s a lot of miscellaneous jobs.” Murphy explains,taking another drink. Bellamy nods, and watching Murphy swallow the water, and he looks down at his plate and clears his throat, embarrassed at himself for watching him like that.

“So you do a lot?” Bellamy asks, and Murphy just nods and eats his food.

They sit in silence for a while, before Murphy looks at his watch and sighs heavily.

“Time to go?” Clarke asks, and Murphy nods, taking the last few bites of his food, and taking the last gulps of his drink. He gets up and stretches. Clarke Gets up and hugs him tight.

“Go save some lives.” Clarke smiles, and pushes at his shoulder. Murphy smirks and grabs his cup and plate.

“You can leave those here, the server will come and grab it.” Bellamy says, looking up at Murphy from his spot.

“Oh, I take it up for them, it makes their lives easier.” Murphy says, smiling. He then kisses Clarke on the cheek, and turns away quickly, feeling Bellamy’s eyes burn a hole in his skull. He knows Bellamy is hesitant about him being with Clarke, and if he is assuming right, he thinks he’s also a bit jealous. He walks up and gives his plate and cup to the people near the food and they smile gratefully at him.

Clarke watches him leave and sighs sadly. She sits back down and smiles at Bellamy.

“I guess it's just us for a little bit.” Clarke says, grabbing Bellamy’s hand. Bellamy squeezes her hand and brings it to his lips kissing it softly.

“Finally.” He mumbles and Clarke sighs and takes her hand away.

“Why are you like this? Why can’t you just try to be nice about him? I care about him Bellamy, and I’m trying to get you two to get along. Murphy is obviously trying. He had less of a problem with this than you did. Why can’t you just try?” Clarke asks, looking at him with sadness in her eyes. Bellamy sighs and sits back in his seat, crossing his arms.

“He’s a delinquent!” Bellamy says, gesturing towards the place where Murphy had left from. Clarke shakes her head and sighs, she gets up and grabs her plate and cup.

“I think you forget that I was too.” Clarke says, before walking off. Bellamy watches her leave, and thinks about things for a minute.

She’s right, he knows she is. It’s not right of him to give every other delinquent a chance but then not give Murphy one. It’s just hard for him. He cares a lot about Clarke,and he doesn’t want her to get hurt, and he doesn’t trust Murphy. And now, in his anger towards Murphy, he has hurt Clarke. He shakes his head and gets up, leaving his plate and cup on the table.

Two weeks later, after Bellamy being invited to lunches and enjoying his time more than he’d like to admit, he caves. He goes to Murphy’s room, and knocks on the door, waiting for Murphy to open the door.

Murphy opens the door, his chest bare and his hair a mess, Bellamy notices he looks tired. Bellamy accident stares too long at Murphy’s chest, looking at all of the scars there, and Murphy notices, and Looks down at himself before his eyes widen and his cheeks flush and he closes the door. Bellamy is about to leave after blowing it, before the door opens again, and reveals Murphy, who threw on a shirt.

“Uh, sorry I just-”

“What do you want?” Murphy cuts him off, not wanting to have a conversation about his scars. It’s already something he hates about himself, he doesn’t need anyone to bring them up after staring at them.

“I just- Okay, I know we don’t get along that much, mostly because of myself, but still, and I was wondering if you’d like to… I don’t know, hang out or something? Just the two of us” Bellamy asks, and Murphy’s eyes widen and his lip quirks up in a small smile. “Maybe we could go outside the gates, or maybe sit by the fire and have a drink, or something.” Bellamy continues and Murphy nods.

“Sure, I’d be happy to.” Murphy says, no sarcasm coming from his lips. Bellamy is surprised but smiles.

“Cool! Cool, uh, do you want to meet up, or should I come here at a certain time, or?” Bellamy asks and Murphy smiles.

“Uh, can we do it tomorrow, today’s kind of… Not the best day.” Murphy says, and Bellamy feels his heart drop, realizing he’s probably just trying to get out of it.

“We don’t have to do it at all if you don’t want to, all you have to do is say no.” Bellamy says,his voice slightly defensive. Murphy’s eyes drop in confusion and he shakes his head.

“No, No, I want to I just-”

“Whatever, it’s obvious you don’t want to, I’ll just go.” Bellamy says, before walking away. By the time Murphy cna open his mouth again to say something, he’s already down the hall and Murphy sighs sadly. Murphy closes the door and plops down on the bed. He takes off his shirt, and lays back down, covering himself up before letting out a long breath as his sore back hit the mattress. Yesterday had been bad, he had accidentally pulled something in his back, and he had refused to do anything about it until he broke down crying while helping Monty in the Garden. Monty had taken him to Abby, and Abby had told him he had to take today off, and stay in bed. That’s why he didn’t want to go out with Bellamy tonight. He sighs and tries to get himself to sleep again, even though the pain in his back is still pulling at him. He groans and wipes a hand over his face, realizing that this probably ruined any chance he had at Bellamy getting closer to him.

“Great.” Murphy says to the open, and empty air around him. Hopefully Bellamy doesn’t tell Clarke about this.

Bellamy walks into his and Clarke’s shared bedroom, storming over to the dresser and throwing off his jacket. He throws the jacket over a chair, and strips his holster off.

“Murphy doesn’t want to go out with me.” Bellamy says to Clarke, who just watched him storm in. Clarke raises an eyebrow at him.

“What do you mean?” Clarke asks, closing her book and putting it on the bedside stand. Bellamy huffs and slips off his shoes.

“I asked him to go out, so we could bond, and He doesn’t want to!” Bellamy says exasperatedly. He sighs sadly and Plops down on his side of the bed, turning away from Clarke. Clarke sighs softly and sits behind him, bringing her hands up to massage at his shoulders.

“Are you sure he doesn’t want to?” Clarke asks, and Bellamy looks down at his hands.

“He said he didn’t want to tonight.” Bellamy says softly. He wouldn’t admit it to Murphy, but he was hurt. He wanted this to go well. He wants to be closer to Murphy, and not just for Clarke.

“Well how do you know it doesn’t just mean tonight?” Clarke asks.

“Because why wouldn’t he be able to tonight? What’s stopping him from going out with me tonight? He had today off, tonight too, That’s why I asked him, and we’ve been getting closer the past two weeks!” Bellamy says, his tone harsh. He doesn’t want to be mean about this, but His feelings are hurt. He really doesn’t understand why Murphy wouldn’t want to go out with him. Clarke and said he was willing to try with him, and now he just decided not to be?

“I don’t know, but don’t just assume he doesn’t want to. I know Murphy, he’s been talking about you for a while now. He wants to be close to you.” Clarke says, trying to reassure Bellamy. Bellamy shrugs and sighs.

“I’m just tired, I should just sleep.” Bellamy says, and Clarke nods, letting him lay down. Clarke lays next to him, and pulls him so his head is on her chest. He sighs softly and smiles.

“Night Princess.”

In the morning, Murphy wakes up, and he still feels a dull ache in his back. He grabs the pain pills and takes them, not bothering to grab water. He slips his boots on, and thinks about Bellamy. He wants to be with Bellamy too. He wants their relationship to be good, and he’s scared he may have ruined it all last night. He sighs sadly and slips on a new shirt and pants. Today he will go to Bellamy and explain everything, even if it makes him late for work. Abby will probably just think it’s because of his back or something.

Murphy opens his door, and walks out of it, and starts walking to the guard’s building. He knows Bellamy works today, and he knows he has probably already started. He sighs and starts to walk faster, in his haste he almost runs into someone and apologizes over his shoulder.

He makes it to the guards building and just walks in, not caring about policy. He’s been practicing what he was going to say, and at this point he thinks it’s just better to be straight forward and just say exactly what he wants to. He sees Bellamy across the room and walks straight over, not caring about the people staring at him. Bellamy looks up and quickly sits up seeing Murphy there.

“I pulled my back yesterday, so I couldn’t go out with you. But I can tonight. 8 pm? Come to my room? sit by the fire and have that drink you were talking about.” Murphy rushes out, and Bellamy laughs softly.

“So I just... Completely misunderstood you?” Bellamy asks and Murphy nods. “Yup. Anyways, I’m going to be late for work, So I’ve got to go, but pick me up at 8, huh?” Murphy says, and Bellamy smiles.

“Yeah, sure Murphy, I’d love to.” Bellamy says, and Murphy node awkwardly, before turning around and walking away. Bellamy smiles to himself and Gets ready for the day. He can’t wait for tonight.

10 hours later, after a boring and uneventful day at work, Bellamy is ready to have some fun. He goes to his room, and does something with his hair that nobody understands. Everyone assumes he does something to it, but all he does is put some water on his hands and fluff around his hair a bit. He grabs a nice shirt, Not something too nice, since he doesn’t have that luxury, but something that doesn’t look horrible. He freshens up quickly, splashing his face with water changes into his new clothes he picked out. He smiles at himself in the mirror, and he quickly realizes that he’s excited. He’s excited to go out with Murphy, and he’s not sure if he wants to analyze that fact or not.

He quickly gives Clarke a peck on the lips and runs out their door, realizing he’s late. It’s his first date-but-is-it-really with Murphy, and he’s already late. He quickly, but not quickly enough to make it obvious that he;s rushed, goes down the many halls to Murphy’s room. When he gets there, he’s surprised to see Murphy just entering his room.

“Oh sh-” Murphy cuts himself off, dropping his key. He sighs and picks it up. “Sorry! Someone came in with a huge migraine and couldn’t do anything until they got meds, and I was the one who had to search through the bottles to find something this guy wasn’t allergic to. Seriously, I don’t even understand how he’s still alive on Earth, He’s allergic to almost everything.” Murphy says, laughing softly. Bellamy feels himself smile and finds the story sweet. The Murphy he used to know would never spend his time doing that for someone.

“That’s nice of you.” Bellamy says, and Murphy looks up at him with a smile.

“Yeah, I mean I’m happy to do it, He’s a good guy.” Murphy says, walking into his room which he just now got open. Murphy calls out to him from the inside, “You can come in! It’s kind of a mess, but It’s not too bad.” Bellamy hesitantly walks to the doorway and looks into the room, tilting his head. The room isn't as bad as Murphy made it out to be, but it still wasn't clean either. There are clothes strung about the room, and it looks like the bed was just rolled out of. looks into the room, tilting his head. The room isn't as bad as Murphy made it out to be, but it still wasn't clean either. There are clothes strung about the room, and it looks like the bed was just rolled out of.

“It’s not too bad.” Bellamy observes, watching as Murphy goes to his dresser and quickly grabs out clothes. Murphy picks out his outfit, and walks to the bathroom.

“I’m going to change, go ahead and sit on the end I guess.” Murphy says, shrugging. He smiles and walks into the bathroom, quickly getting ready. Bellamy finds himself standing in the middle of the room; he looks at the things on Murphy’s bedside table and smiles. He grabs the book there, reading the title. He sees that it’s Lord Of The Rings, he smiles and tries to remember the plot. He knows it has to do with a ring, an unlikely hero, and a quest with friends, but he’s not sure what happens during it. He opens the book, and looks at the bookmark. It’s a picture of a young man and woman, and a young boy is next to them. It looks like the woman’s face was once crossed out with a marker, but the marker has been scratched at, and he frowns at it. He picks up the picture and flips it over and the back says ‘The Murphy’s’ and he feels his heart break. He hears the door open behind him and he jumps, almost dropping the book and losing Murphy’s spot before catching himself. Murphy freezes when he sees what he’s doing, and winces slightly.

“I said you could sit on the bed, not look through my things.” He half jokes, walking forward and taking the book and picture from his hands and puts the picture back how it was. He puts the book down and turns to the dresser, grabbing his knife from it’s spot. When he made it to Arkadia, he made a new one, since his old one had disappeared in the chaos. He puts the knife in it’s sput on his belt, and turns to Bellamy.

“I’m sorry, I just… I like books, and I wanted to see what you were reading.” Bellamy says, “And then… that kind of turned into me looking at your bookmark.” Bellamy says, his voice dropping. Murphy shrugs.

“Oh well, It’s not like people don’t know I had a family, Bell.” Murphy says, and starts to walk out the door. “Now come on, you have a drink you owe me.” Murphy says, a smile pulling at his features. Bellamy shakes his head and laughs following him out the door. Murphy pulls it shut, and makes sure it’s locked before they walk towards the firepits.

They make it to the fire pits, and Murphy sits down on one of the logs surrounding it. And looks up at Bellamy.

“Drink?” He asks, and Bellamy nods.

“I’ll get you a drink, relax, sit back and watch the fire or something.” Bellamy says, turning around and heading to where Monty is serving his moonshine. Murphy sighs softly and looks up at the sky instead, feeling the cold air go against his face. He hears Bellamy come back, and he opens his eyes to see Bellamy with two cups in his hands.

“Oh thank God, I need a drink.” Murphy says, reaching out. Bellamy chuckles and hands it to him; he sits down and watches as Murphy takes a drink. The moonlight and the fire both create a glow to Murphy, a glow that would be described as magical in the books he read as a kid. He can’t help to think of Murphy as magical in this moment. A kid who grows up with everyone against him, yet now he’s helping everyone by being a doctor?

“I’ve heard you’re a good doctor.” Bellamy says, watching Murphy as he looks at him with happiness.

“Yeah?” Murphy asks, his mouth upturned in a large smile.

“Yeah, I’ve been asking people about you recently…” Bellamy says, before he can stop himself, he sighs realizing how embarrassing that is. “Sorry, I just… After Clarke told me about you, I was very hesitant, and I wanted to know more about you.” Bellamy says.

“Yeah, I know… I’m not the best guy in the world.” Murphy says, looking at the fire in front of him. The flames light up his face, and Bellamy can’t help but think he’s beautiful. He doesn’t know when his thoughts about Murphy went from annoyed, to thinking he’s beautiful. Maybe it was the way Clarke has been talking about him, and explaining why she liked him the way she does.

“You aren’t the worst, either.” Bellamy admits, and Murphy feels himself smile wider.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I’m good enough.” Murphy says softly, his voice barely above a whisper. Bellamy frowns and shakes his head, moving closer to Murphy’s side. Their thighs rub next to each other, and their shoulders bump.

“I-” Bellamy hesitates before speaking, “Look, I’m just overprotective. I worry about Clarke. I don’t want her being with someone who will hurt her. I would be worried no matter who it was, but because of our…” He trails off and gestures vaguely, “History, I’m a bit more hesitant with you.”

"I think I love her, Bell.” Murphy says, confidence in his voice. There’s no ‘think’ to it. He knows he loves her. He closes his eyes and pictures how her lips feel on his cheek, and how the feeling of her hand in his makes him feel. He can picture her smile while he’s alone, and it always cheers him up. It always keeps him going. Bellamy nods and takes a drink from his moonshine, feeling the liquid burn hsi throat slightly. Murphy’s is almost gone already, it’s obvious he’s had a hard time recently.

“I love her, too.” Bellamy says, and Murphy laughs softly. They sit there for a few minutes before Murphy randomly starts talking. Bellamy figures out quickly that he’s just randomly speaking about everything. The color of the sky, the way the trees move, it’s all subjects of Murphy’s rambling and Bellamy finds it endearing.

“Do you ever think of life up there? Do you miss it?” Bellamy asks randomly, interrupting Murphy from his rant about the chancellor. Murphy pauses for a moment, not sure how to answer.

“I think about it, but I don’t miss it. I hated it up there.” Murphy says, and Bellamy looks at him puzzled.

“After everything that’s happened to you down here, you still like it more than up there? Why?” Bellamy asks, and Murphy looks up.

“Up there, it was… Suffocating. I couldn’t get away from anything. I couldn’t get away from the people, the guards, the chancellor, the memories, they were all there. When I walked down the hall to school every day I’d see the airlock chamber and remember my dad dying for me. When I’d look at any door of any room, I’d remember running through the door to find my mom, dying on the floor. I-” He breaks himself off and he sighs. “I hate tight spaces. Always have, and That thing up there? That was the tightest spot. I hate not having control over myself, but up there every single thing I did was stared at and picked at. I was forced to be something I’m not.” Murphy rants, and Bellamy listens, putting a hand on his thigh to calm him down. He had started yelling, and that gained the attention for a few other people.

“And Here? What’s good about here?” Bellamy asks, wanting to know how Murphy feels.

“I’m free. I’m able to eat when I’m hungry, and I’m able to work a good job! I’m able to help people here, when up there I was useless. Down here there’s a possibility for so much more! I can have two kids if I’d want to, and It’ll be okay! I can get medicine for myself when I’m hurt or sick, and I can live.” Murphy says, and Bellamy nods. “My dad… He dreamed of this place. He dreamed of being able to Touch the ground, to touch the leaves… And If this is where he always wanted to be, then obviously it;s better than that piece of junk that used to be in the sky. Up there I wanted to be a doctor, but I wasn’t smart enough. I never was. Here, Abby gave me a chance, and Now I get to save people. You want to know the real, 100% reason all of this is worth it?” Murphy asks, and Bellamy nods. “Clarke… I would have never met Clarke. I would have never met her and gotten this close to her. I would have never met you...” Murphy finishes, and by the time he’s done he’s looking at Bellamy with such a wild look in his eyes.

Bellamy doesn’t understand what’s happening to him, or why he feels so connected to Murphy in this moment, but before he can stop himself he’s surging forward, and connecting their lips. Bellamy grab’s Murphy’s arms and Moves him so he’s facing him, and stradling the log they’re on. Murphy wraps his arms around Bellamy’s neck,and lets him pull him as close as possible, not worrying about the world around them. Murphy pulls back his breath heavy and a huge smile on his face.

“What was that for?” Murphy asks, a wide smile on his face. Bellamy rests his forehead on Murphy’s, and takes a deep breath. He’s not sure how to explain it. He doesn’t know what made him do that, what made him make the choice to kiss the guy he has hated for so long, but recently he just… Hasn’t hated him. The way Murphy has proven himself to be good, the way he cares so deeply for Clarke that everything he has gone through has been worth it, just to meet and fall for her, it all hits him way too hard. And the fact Murphy includes him in that, Murphy includes him in the good he has found on this nightmare of a planet, and Bellamy feels happier about that than he has felt about anything ever.

“Was meeting me really worth the pain?” Bellamy asks, suddenly questioning it. Murphy pulls back a bit and nods.

“Of course. I mean yeah, we haven’t gotten along much in the past, but for the past two weeks, we’ve been getting closer. That’s why you asked me to come, right? Because we’ve been closer?” Murphy asks, and Bellamy smiles.

“Yeah I just… I didn't think I meant that much to you, I thought I was just… Clarke’s boyfriend to you.” Bellamy says, and Murphy cups hsi cheek.

“You could never be ‘just’ anything, Bellamy.” Murphy says, leaning forward and connecting their lips once more. Bellamy pulls back for a second and looks into Murphy’s eyes.

“Come on.” He says, and gets up, pulling himself away from Murphy. Murphy looks up at him in confusion.

“What? Where are we going.” Murphy asks, confused. Bellamy smirks down at him.

This wasn’t an enemy she was used too handling- one that could be fought- or reasoned with, or even killed. This was nature- and machines, and chemicals. This was earth.

Clarke wasn’t a prophet- she couldn’t tell time, she couldn’t see into the near future and watch the destruction happen beforehand, just so she could warn everyone before it wiped them all out. She was at a plight, and it was gradually taking its toll on her nerves.

Time was most definitely not on her side. Six months, Clarke sighed exasperatedly, sliding down onto floor beside the bed that once belonged to the commander. It’d been stripped bare of the bloodied sheets and cushions- but Clarke still refused to bask in its comfort.

Rolling the flame in her hand, she let her head hit the side of the mattress, bringing her gaze up to the bumpy ceiling. Clarke felt a familiar presence at the door of the commander’s chambers- but didn’t bother to move from her spot on the floor. The door was shut with an audible click, and just as soon as he leaned his gun carefully against the wall- he dropped down to sit beside her, his long legs bumping against her own.

His voice came, deep and worn from battle cries. “What are you thinking about?”

Bellamy rested his arms on his knees, similar to Clarke, he didn’t look at her right away, but he didn’t have too. Clarke could see the grime caked on his face in her periphery- his shaggy hair looking more disheveled than ever. The Arkadia jacket he donned before was now missing- and the faint scars on his arms were more visible in the gray light of the afternoon.

She shrugged offishly, “Of solutions?” Clarke sighed, running a black stained hand down her face, “I don’t know—I just—I saved the world only too—just to come back to square one.”

She dropped her hand with a huff, looking over to Bellamy, only to find he was already staring at her in that intense way of his, meaning he was listening, hanging on every word she said.

Clarke felt panic swell within her- the adrenaline momentarily causing a shortness of breath, “It was all for nothing.” She whispered, more to herself than to him. Immediately Bellamy’s eyes flared the way they do whenever Clarke or Octavia- or anyone of the Skaikru found themselves in grave danger- and selfless Bellamy was there to stop it.

“Don’t.” He placed a heavy hand on her knee, and Clarke noticed the dirt encrusted between his finger nails. He gave her a reassuring squeeze, and she brought her gaze to meet his own again- “You rescued everyone from a goddamn AI that tried to force us into a fake reality.” Bellamy shook his head, wisps of curls swaying with the movement.

“That’s something, if you ask me.”

Clarke turned away with a grimace, “The earth is dying, Bellamy.”

He scoffed, “It’s been dead for years, what else is new?”

She couldn’t argue with him there, but even so that very notion that the inevitable end was creeping up on them and she didn’t have an already prepared plan drove her to a maddening state. Clarke had always been the one with the plan- since day one. But now she was at loss of what to do. This problem was far bigger than her- bigger than anything.

Thinking back to what ALIE and Becca had told her in the City of light- she could only salvage what little information the AI provided. It wasn’t enough- she needed to go to the main root. She needed to dig deeper- think harder, solve faster. Millions of lives were at stake here. Their only home was at stake.

“I can’t stop now,” Clarke mumbled, and looked him in the eye trying to hide behind a façade of false determination but she’s so damn tired- and he could see right through her anyway.

“I know that I’ve got to think of—something, anything. It’s eating away at me. I haven’t told anyone else about it. I mean, I wouldn’t even know where to start.”

The hand on her knee disappeared, and Clarke missed the warmth he’d been emitting onto her, instead Bellamy shuffled closer, till her shoulder brushed against his bicep. His proximity made her just little bit anxious- she could see the purplish hue under his brown eyes, and the cuts on his forehead, the nasty finger- shaped bruises blooming across his throat.

She swallowed, looked away- but his hand came back to rest just below her knee, and it was even warmer this time.

“Hey,” Bellamy breathed- his breath hot against her cheek. “right now, everyone is still recovering from the aftereffects of ALIE, telling them now would only cause more tension.”

Clarke said nothing- biting into the bottom plush of her lip, nervous. Bellamy sighed. “Look, Don’t worry, when the time comes to tell them—I’ll be there, for you, okay? They’ll understand. They’ll help.”

His hand squeezed her thigh than, and Clarke felt a feathery sort of thrill in her chest.

“We’ll figure something out, we always do.”

She smiled at him, though it wasn’t quite happy one. It was a for-the-moment smile. An only-for-Bellamy kind of smile, but his condoling efforts wasn’t all lost on her. She clung tight to his words- her words. She kept them close, and kept him closer.

“Yeah.”

Then without thinking- which was nearly impossible because Clarke was always thinking- she reached up, and brushed away some of the dark colored fringes that clung to his forehead- hearing a hitch in his breath while she did. Bellamy’s hair was wild and untamed- sticking in every direction. Clarke caressed the curls that stuck out the side of his head, threading her hand through it delicately and watching the waves bounce back into place.

It’s only when she heard Bellamy audibly clear his throat, and see his eyes sheepishly avert hers- that she yanked her hand away like it’d been scalded.

She stammered, a rosy hue staining her cheeks. “Sorry—I, sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”

Oh god. Had she crossed the line there? Had there been a line to cross in the first place? It’s just Bellamy, Clarke reassured, there shouldn’t be any awkwardness between them just from a simple affectionate touch.

Besides it wouldn’t be the first time she’d shown some affection for him- though it would be a first she acted on a whim, rather than with her head, or with her heart.

It shouldn’t bother her this much- it should be natural by now.

Bellamy’s low rumble of her name snapped her out of reverie, and she swiveled to look at his confused face, mouth hanging open- she quickly thought of a response for her actions.

“It’s just…your hair.”

“What about it?”

Clarke shrugged, “It’s really… soft?”

There was a long pause before Bellamy let out rough chuckle, mouth tilting in that sideways grin of his.

“Seriously,” He thumbed one of his curls that stuck out, “I haven’t washed it in days.”

Clarke hummed in agreement, smoothing out the frayed ends of her blonde hair, “Hey, same here.”

“I said days, you haven’t washed your hair in months.”

Clarke scoffed, shoving at his shoulder playfully. “You don’t know that.”

He laughed heartily (a rare pleasant sound that certainly did not make her heart back flip), lifting the hand on her thigh to twirl a tendril of her straw blonde hair around his finger. “Clarke, I can see it.”

A teasing smirk played at the edges of his lips- and even with all his imperfections, all his compact flaws, his heavy burdens, and the shameful guilt he carried with him; Clarke would always see him as the most radiant of their people. The Sky people’s own burning flame, and he would always burn the brightest, in her eyes.

She felt an overwhelming urge to comfort him; to touch and hold him. He’s done so much for her- for them, though more so for her.

She grasped onto his large hand with her own before it slipped away from her golden tangles of hair- he snapped his head to peer down at her, the mirth vanishing from his face, replaced by puzzling expression.

“Clarke?”

She licked the dryness from her lips before speaking- resting their intertwined hands between them, she turned to him, “Why don’t you come here?”

Bellamy raised an eyebrow in question- dropping his gaze to where her hand lay atop his, implying he was already right there with her.

Clarke shook her head, “No—I mean, lay down.”

He only appeared more confused, so she huffed dramatically.

“Just put your head on my lap.”

The astonished look on Bellamy’s face almost made Clarke lapse into fit of giggles. As if he’d never expect such a tender request from her, she met his warm eyes only to see he was studying her fastidiously- brows furrowing in concern- he tilted his body to inspect the crown of her head for any bumps.

Of course Bellamy would worry- it was his job to so. But this was ridiculous. Clarke scooted away from him, unfurling out her legs in front of her, she motioned for him to come closer, and patted her thigh invitingly.

“That’s an order, Blake.”

Now with both eyebrows raised, Bellamy gave her an incredulous look- reeling back somewhat to show her just how flabbergasted he was. Clarke beckoned him with her finger; and he turned away with an amusing grin, tongue prodding the inside of his cheeks.

The freckles dusted across the bridge of his nose became more prominent with the blood rushing to his cheeks- he coughed- though it sounded more like a strained laugh, then he turned to her- a twinkle in his brown eyes, and he was smiling dismissively, shaking his head.

“Alright, I won’t argue.”

Bellamy slid over to her side, twisting so he could lay himself down carefully- he shifted into a more comfortable position on Clarke’s lap- resting his hands on his lower abdomen.

He seemed pretty content, though a bit stiff. Looking everywhere but at the woman he was currently using as a human pillow. Clarke couldn’t help but snicker at his shyness- big bad Bellamy, turned to a nervous mess at her provocation. It made her feel tingly- like phantom fingers trailing up her spine, and the sensation wasn’t lost on Bellamy either.

Hesitant, his eyes flickered to her face, she smiled reassuringly, tucking a strand of blonde hair behind her ear. “It’s okay, just relax.”

He did as she told him, releasing a breath when her hand came down to run through the cluster of curls at the top of his head, smoothing them down. She watched the bob of his Adam’s apple as he swallowed- averting his gaze, eventually shutting his eyes, breathing evenly as she continued her soothing ministrations.

Clarke was fascinated by Bellamy’s hair- even if it was slightly matted with debris and dust she brushed off. She liked watching his curls bounce back into place, she loved how soft his hair felt between her fingers as she combed through his tangles- she adored the way his facial features would twitch then soften each time she passed her hand through a particular knot.

Of course, this was a far cry from solving the fate of the world; but to Clarke, her sensibility and state of mind where two of the most important factors in her ability to deduce a problem, and come up with a rational plan.

So what better way to calm her frayed nerves then playing with her respected partners hair? It really was loosening her up; and Bellamy appeared to be in some kind of bliss, looking about ready to doze off on her lap. The corners of her lips quirked as she toyed with a lock of his dark hair- leaning down just a bit more so a long curtain of wavy blonde cascaded over her shoulder and just barely brushed over his cheekbone.

He mumbled something so low, her ears could hardly pick it up, even being this close to him.

“What was that?”

“Feels nice…”

Clarke smiled, then broke into an all-out grin.

“Yeah?” She raked a hand through his curls, pushing back his bangs.

“Yeah,” Bellamy swallowed, turning his head to lock eyes with her, amusement tugging one corner of his mouth. “Feel a bit like a dog though, but that’s fine.”

Clarke chuckled, “Well you’re loyal like one.”

Bellamy snorted, turning away from her- she quickly backtracked, not meaning to offend him. “Sorry, I didn’t mean... you’re not a dog, I just— “

“It’s alright,” He sighed. “I know what I’m about.”

Clarke shook her head, biting back another sassy retort- focusing more on the warm weight of Bellamy on her thighs, and the attempt to tame his wild curls (or more like make it even messier). The light of dusk was now approaching- the setting sun’s rays shone through the tall glass windows of the chamber, bathing the two in a luminescent orange glow.

She noticed how the dull light of the sunset on Bellamy’s face erased all his battle scars- made him appear softer, younger. Clarke tucked a curl behind his ear- realizing that they’re both going to have to evacuate Polis with the rest of Arkadia’s people soon. They’re both going to have to step into leadership- whether the people wanted them to or not. Whether they wanted to or not. She needed Bellamy for this- if they were going to survive this ordeal, she needed her equal.

Before her mind could finish processing her thoughts, her mouth was already forming the sentence.

“You know; they were going to hang you.”

Bellamy stirred in his wake, looking up at her through half-lidded eyes.

“When they were trying to break me—they, ALIE used my mother instead, but it was you they wanted.”

Clarke stopped her ministrations, leaning against the rail of the bed- swallowing back her words, she hadn’t meant to spill it to him, but it slipped off her tongue, Bellamy had that effect on her.

He was already sitting up, features contorting into his usual look of worry. He cocked his head to the side, his face just inches from her own, she could see better the scar on his lip, she could almost count every single freckle on his nose.

“Clarke…”

When she found herself drowning in depths of summery brown, Clarke quietly mumbled the truth she was hoping she’d never have to face again. “I was willing to let my mother die.”

She said it like an epiphany had come over her- and it had, in all honesty. Clarke had been prepared to watch Abby Griffin die in front of her own eyes- the woman who raised her, nurtured her- she recalled steeling herself for the inevitable, never looking away.

“You had to protect the passcode.” Bellamy voiced what raced through her head at that moment, and yes she did. Clarke always saw the bigger picture- for the greater good of their people.

Whatever it took, she thought, to protect them. But did that not make her a murderer in its own right?

“I know, but having to sacrifice her—watching her hang herself, Bellamy— “Clarke broke off with a deprecating laugh, “She’s my mother, my family. And I was going to kill her.”

“Clarke.”

The finality in his deep tone made her lips clamp shut. She felt tears prickling the corners of her eyes, and hastily blinked them away. No time to cry—they would be leaving soon, and if she was going to lead, she needed to be strong. Leaders don’t cry, they cope.

Bellamy lifted his hand, cupping the side of her cheek in such an uncharacteristically gentle way- Clarke’s heart thrummed in its cage. He wiped away the few tears that had managed to escape.  

“I don’t want to go through that again.” She whispered, feeling the rough pads of his thumb on her cheek.

“You won’t have too.” He said, then paused. “I won’t let that happen.”

“What if it had been you?”

Bellamy dropped his hand to her neck, then her shoulder, then her arm. Each touch more tender than the last.

“What if it was you tying a rope around your neck—you that I was forced to watch… die.”

At that he shrugged, without a care in the world. It pissed her off more than anything.

“Then you let me die.”

Clarke huffed, blowing air out her nose, and swatting his hands away from her. “Of course you would say that.”

Bellamy took ahold of one her hands in his own, and she’s had just about enough to push him away- but decided against it.

“I’m serious Clarke—Hey, look at me.” He grabbed her chin, forcing her head still. She had the right mind to glare at him, narrowing dangeriously blue eyes.

“When it’s only sacrificing one life to save millions of others. You do it—without hesitation, you understand the consequences, and are willing to face them head on. You don’t give up, you’ll pull through. I know you.”

His gaze was heavy, and smoldering. His hands were too big, and too warm on her skin- he was crowding her. Clarke knew he was only referring to himself in that statement- because of course he is. He’s selfless, he’s brave—and no one else was more willing to face death head on if it meant better for the survivability of their people.

Clarke sniffed, “And what if it’s somebody I love?”

Bellamy was silent than, mouth opening then closing tightly in a grim line. He turned away, the warmth of his hands leaving her.

“Sometimes…” he clenched his jaw, a tick that happened whenever he didn’t fully agree with something. “Sometimes those decisions are painful to make—but if it’s for the better of keeping our people safe.”

Clarke figured she’d heard enough. “Bellamy— “

“Hey!”

The chamber door was thrown open, startling the two of their moment, Bellamy jumped to a stand in front of her, hands flying to the pistol strapped to his waist. Clarke’s voice stuck in her throat. Two Arkadian guards shuffled in, one of them looking more sheepish than the other at disturbing both Bellamy and Clarke from whatever it was they thought the two were doing.

Bellamy relaxed at the sight of familiar faces, “Miller, Harper. What’s going on?”

Miller stepped forward, not all fazed at the fact his own friend very nearly shot him. It wouldn’t have been the first time.

“Kane and Murphy gathered the rest of our people around Polis—Abby is already treating the rest that were taken down from the crucifixes.”

Bellamy swiftly glanced down to Clarke at the mention of the older Griffin.

“And Jaha?”

“Currently locked up in one of the dungeons,” Harper quipped from behind Miller, “We’ll set him free once we’re ready to leave.”

Bellamy nodded, “Alright, thanks for the update.”

Miller clapped a hand on his shoulder, “I’ll let you two know when it's time to evacuate the tower.”

“Roger that.”

Harper was the first out the door, Bellamy was just about to take a seat near Clarke once more before Miller called for him again, standing awkwardly near the door way.

Bellamy came over to him, “What is it?”

“Um—your sister, Octavia she—We couldn’t stop her from leaving, she— “

Bellamy stopped him with a wave of his hand, “It’s okay, I know.”

Clarke snapped her head up, even Miller appeared shocked—but noticing his friends pained expression, it quickly changed to one of sympathy.

“I’m sorry, man.”

Bellamy exhaled a long breath, “It’s okay, It’s Octavia. She can take care of herself.”

It sounded more as if he was trying to convince himself than the other. Miller kept his eyes cast down, patting him reassuringly on the back, before turning to leave.

Once the door was shut, Bellamy walked over to where Clarke lounged, dropping to sit by her side, his expression unreadable. They stayed like that for the next couple of minutes, basking in the heat of the dying sun rays, before Clarke broke the silence.

“Are you really okay?”

“Are you?” Came his gruff reply. Then he turned to face her, and the shield he was hiding behind slowly came down, because it was Clarke.

“I’m okay.” He said, then added more firmly. “I’ll be okay.”

And they lapsed into a comfortable silence once more. Both Co-leaders taking shelter in each other’s presence. Clarke rested her head upon his shoulder; and he turned to breath her in.

“I think we should get going.” Bellamy rumbled against her hair, to which she made a non-committal sound.

“… Or do you want to stay here and play with my hair some more?”