@yaya.tate1 Thanks LS! That’s the first thing I saw when I went on the book this morning! #iAppreciateYou! Thanks for checking on a Soror last night! 💙💙🕊💙💙 #SZL
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@yaya.tate1 Thanks LS! That’s the first thing I saw when I went on the book this morning! #iAppreciateYou! Thanks for checking on a Soror last night! 💙💙🕊💙💙 #SZL

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3/7/16
Hindi ko maintindihan. Wala akong maintindihan. Kailan nyo ba makikita na hindi lang naman kayo ang nasasaktan? na hindi lang kayo ang nahihirapan? Sana naman makita nyo na walang masamang tao sa mundo, sadyang nasobrahan lang o nakulangan.
Love...
What is love? Love is a feeling, an emotion, a decision. At least that's what they say. You may love many people, for many reasons. I love the delivery man that brings me chicken, sushi, or pizza. I love my mother, my grandma, my siblings. My father, my nephew , my brother in law. I love those who left too soon. Sometimes we fall into what can be The Idea Of Love. Falling head over heels for someone that we can't have. Someone we could have had. The one that got away, because of one way or another. Other times you really fall in love on how one makes you feel. When the other makes you feel like they don't deserve you or because you're so beautiful they can believe you chose them, because to them you are perfect. You fall so deep in love with this person, but not all there. It's not just how secure you feel of their love and admiration towards you because they lack the ability to make you feel like they really want you in their life. You fight, because all couples fight, but they don't fight back. They don't show affection with small details like flowers or chocolate and it's understandable because they can't always afford it. Although, sometimes all you want to hear is a spontaneous "I love you" or something out of the ordinary, something you don't usually do like watch watch the stars on the roof top. But they don't think the same way you do, do they? No. This person says he loves you so much but shows no interest in getting to know you. By this I mean your family, your friends, your past. And they don't share much about their life before you, their friends or family. Why? I don't know, but this may be the reason why sooner or later it all crumbles down. Because you're sick of the routine. You're sick of getting nowhere with them. You feel sick of feeling like you hold them back on many things. You're tired of hearing the same old things, fighting over the same things and getting nothing out of it. It's hard to let go, time passes by, you try to move on but fail. Why do you fail if this new person has all the things the first person didn't have? This person isn't the first person and maybe that's why. Maybe you're not over The Idea Of Love you had for this person. The what could've been. What could've been if they would've changed their attitude towards you, towards life. You think and wonder, this was my person. Although, you know there's nothing you can do to change this person, and it's horrible to think that the only way you can be together is if they'd change, which is something you can't ask them to do for you. Because you have your flaws as well. You're broken because of something you walked out on, but you stay back because you know that going back to that, or even speaking to them will just hurt your person more. However, somehow you still want them to know that you miss your person, you still care, you will always care. And if that's not Love, Then What is it?
I'm stone cold, I get what I want. I'm stubborn, I don't budge. I fight, I kick. I lie, I'll break your heart. I say I'm strong, I'm not. I've been broken by the ones that are supposed to keep you whole. Although, how can one be broken when they were never complete. She thought me how to hurt, he thought me how to avoid uncomfortable situations. She sent me away, he permitted it. I was fought right and wrong. I was happy. She took me back. I was unhappy. I was an outcast. I didn't belong. I realized who they really were, I made my decisions. Maybe not the best, but I made them in my own. Or not? I pretended to like something I didn't enjoy to please her. I did. Then I became aware that faking can only last so long before it becomes obvious the lack of interest. I did what I had to do, what I wanted to do. One goal in mind. Plus one-ticket. I was rejected again. It's funny how things take their twist. I'm doing what I want to do, what I love to do yet, I am not happy. "Sadness is a temporary feeling. We are always happy." Seems like I've always been sad, just temporarily happy. What a hypocrite. Why ? What am I missing? I've pushed pushed those that tried to hold me back away. I've kept my distance, I've been stone cold to those who've hurt me. She's still there. She will always be there. "I can't push her away. I can't blame her for my sadness." How could I not though? She's stone cold. She's fake. She's manipulative. She's in control of everything. She's unhappy. We are the same and that's my only shame. "Because of you I am ashamed," In my dark times I always think of her. Of him too. Of those who doubt me and have put me down. I cry myself to sleep. I'm stone cold, I get what I want. Fuck you if you don't think I can. I'm stubborn, I don't budge. I stand firm. If I fall I will get right back up. I fight, I kick. I will go into battle for what I want. I won't give up. I lie, I'll break your heart. I'm a lover, but I won't let you keep me from achieving my goal. One way-plus one-ticket. (January2016)
You think you know me...
You think you know me, You say you understand me, You think we are the same, You think we share the same feelings, You say you can get through me. We are not the same, We do not share the same feelings, You do not understand me. You write your feelings down in paper, I type mines and add them to my blog. If you understand me, let me know because I don't. The thoughts that run through my mind, I've never shared and never will. I will lie to hide them and I am not ashamed to admit that. I am a really good liar when it comes to revealing what really haunts me. "I write with a poison pen." You assume I'm broken, You truly believe you can "fix" me. I am not broken I was never complete. You cannot fix me, I don't intend to fix you. You will not understand me; You let me in too quick which makes you think I understand you. I don't expect you to understand. I don't wish you could fix me. I warned you so, please don't act surprise when I seem careless because... You don't know me.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming