Disclaimer: Iām only on season 1(I know Iām late); Iām watching with a friend who has seen the show. I obviously donāt actually hate Keith, but I do enjoy making fun of him.
Me: āMan, Keith sucksā
āI canāt even blame him [Keith], Iād also be stunned by Lanceās very presenceāĀ
āIs it bad that Iāve done something similar to this [what Keith did] at one point in my life?ā
āKeith was pretty useless here but I almost can relate cuz I too, would be completely and utterly useless in this very situation.ā
āI hate that Keith sounds like me when Iām trying to prove a point that I know I didnāt think through but Iām opening my mouth anyway.āĀ Ā
Me: I could always just not say anything and just admire from afar? Not commit? Feelings are scary man, you know I got commitment issues.
Friend: ...Werenāt you recently complaining about Keithās lack of ability to properly handle his crush on Lance for probably those same reasons?Ā
Me:Ā SHUT UP! I AM NOT AS BAD AS KEITH!Ā
Friend: You literally admitted you werenāt sure if you were dating one of your exes one time.
Me:Ā ...yeah well I DONāT INSULT MY CRUSHES AT LEAST!
āHoly shit. If you put me in Voltron and made me a guy, I think I actually may look similar to Keith. We both got black hair, and I know he grows his hair out later, and weāre fucking short! Fuck this!āĀ
āYeah okay, I guess I probably like Lance a lot too but thatās the only thing I will admit having in common with Keith.ā
āThe only thing Keith does better than me is being gay cuz this guy does not have an ounce of hetero thoughts and Iām almost jealous of that fact.āĀ
āItās okay, Keith, I too suck at this.ā
āShit I actually kinda feel bad for Keith here. Like Iād personally be offended too if if something super intimate happened AND LANCE FUCKING FORGOT! I know itās not his fault or anything but Iām still gonna be fucking salty and offended about it! Like what the hell?! Keith probably poured a part of his heart out (of screen, but still) but no, Lance fucking forgot. Funny, yeah, but man if I were in his shoes Iād probably have that exact same face cuz I can FEEL that level of WTF just thinking about it.ā
Me: Okay, Iām claiming Lance right now. Heās my new fictional husband.Ā
Friend: What about Keith?
Me: What about Keith? Iām pretty much the nicer version of Keith and Lance already likes him! That has to swing him in my favor!Ā
Me:Ā Look, I know some spoilers, but I can still talk about Voltron objectively alright?
Friend #2: Thatās fine.Ā
Me: by the way have I mentioned how much Keith sucks right now?
Friend #2:Ā You say Keith sucks, but you still donāt think Lance is a douchenozzel?
Me: THERE IS NO BADMOUTHING OF LANCE OF ANY KIND UNDER THIS ROOF!