#synastry red flags

I have already pointed to the green flags now let's list the red flags, which are not always apparent at the start of a connection, this can be due to Neptune, or Pluto natal or synastry placements which tend to cloud our judgement or we just like the person and ignore our intuition because we want to focus on the positive and hope for the best (fingers crossed). This is the beauty of synastry, even when we choose to turn a blind eye to what is energetically obvious. The energy is still there, lurking beneath the surface in our ocean of disillusionment. When we come out of our "love" coma usually when something happens and we can no longer ignore the obvious the reality can be daunting and for some of us "heartbreaking". These connections are lessons and generally are not meant for long term. Here are a few important aspects to look out for that point to a connection that may be a hard lessons in love.

Sun square/opposite Mercury/Mars/Uranus/Pluto/North Node*

Moon square Mercury/Saturn/Uranus/Neptune/Pluto/North Node

Mars square/opposite Sun/Moon/Mercury/Mars/Uranus/Pluto/North Node *

Mercury square Sun/Moon/Mars/Saturn/Uranus/Neptune/Pluto

Neptune square/opposite Sun/Moon/Venus/Mercury/Mars/Ascendant

Venus square/opposite Mercury/Saturn/Neptune/Uranus/Pluto/North Node

Saturn square Ascendant/Sun/Moon/Venus/Mercury/North Node*

Uranus opposite/square Sun/Moon/Venus/Mercury/Mars/Saturn*

Pluto square/opposite Ascendant/Sun/Moon/Venus/Mercury/Mars/North Node

North Node square Ascendant/Sun/Venus/Mars/Saturn

Chiron square Sun/Moon/Venus/Mars/Saturn*

Narcissus square Sun/Moon/Mercury/Mars *

Juno square Moon/Mars/Saturn/North Node

Karma square Sun, Moon, Venus, Mars, Saturn

Sun/Mars/Venus in the 8th/12th House *

North Node in the 8th/12th House

Lilith square Sun/Moon/Mercury/Venus/Mars/Pluto

Saturn/Uranus/Pluto in the 7th House

*This is my personal list based on observations of various charts and my own experiences. One or a few of these aspects will and cannot make or break a connection. Synastry is just a guide to the energy, please take the whole chart as well as the individual natal charts into consideration.*

Stay Lifted,

Madison 💋

Have you had any of these aspects? What aspects do you consider red flags?

Alicia Silverstone (Libra) and Stephen Dorff (Leo) met on the set of Aerosmith's "Cryin" video and dated for an entire year. They had a fiery and passionate romance and synastry included aspects like, Sun/Moon square Uranus, Moon/Mercury square Mars, Sun/Moon square North Node, Mars opposite Mars, Sun/Moon square Chiron, Lilith square Sun.

*Related Posts*

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Fatal Attraction in Natal & Synastry

Sleeping with the Enemy in Synastry

Harsh North Node aspects in Synastry

Harsh Mercury Aspects in Synastry

Volatile Relationship Aspects

How to deal with squares in Synastry

Relationship Issues in the Natal Chart

When it comes to our romantic connections, communication is key. It is the most important, but slept on aspect in synastry. Not being able to be on the same page mentally with our person can take a toll on intimacy and can be down right frustrating for both parties. I will break down each of the listed harsh aspects to Mercury who rules Gemini/Virgo and the 3rd House of communication, knowledge and transportation. Mercury is our ability to articulate our thoughts verbally and mentally. An afflicted Mercury in the natal chart can show where we have trouble comprehending and interpreting. This can affect our confidence, our ability to connect and make us feel alienated from friends, family, co workers and lovers. Lack of communication and understanding can undermine an otherwise beautiful connection between two individuals. These aspects (with the exception of Mercury square Neptune, Mars, Uranus) I don't consider deal breakers because they can be over come with patience, and acceptance of one another's intellectual differences.. 📞

Mercury square Uranus*- inconsistent communication, ubrupt communication, blocking, stone walling, and ghosting. 😫

Mercury square Neptune*- confusion, deception, manipulation, gas lighting, trust issues, accusations, and lack of clarity. 🤥

Mercury square Mars*- constant arguing, harsh communication, impatience, and belittling. Mars cursing or swearing at Mercury is a thing, Mars starting rumors, and or talking trash Mercury behind their backs to friends and family is common. 🤬

Mercury square Saturn- Inconsistent communication. Partners will go days, weeks, months without talking to one another, unanswered text messages, unreturned calls.

Mercury square Sun- lack of intellectual understanding, verbal arguments, communication issues.

Mercury square Venus- Venus feels like Mercury is head over heart. Mercury takes a detached intellectual approach to love. (an example would be Mercury in Gemini, & Mercury in Virgo both ruled by Mercury are known for this, but this is not exclusive to these signs alone.)

Mercury square Moon- Moon views Mercury as insensitive, head over heart, emotionally unavailable and or unable to understand their emotional needs. Mercury views Moon as too emotional, whiny, and emotionally needy. Can view Moon as "Energy Vampire". Mercury can be uncomfortable verbalizing their emotions.

Mercury square North Node- constant misunderstandings, arguments and intellectual power struggles, miscommunication, unable to get on the same page intellectually.

Stay Lifted,

Madison 🕊️✨

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Saturn, Uranus, Neptune and Pluto are outer planets. The only planet out of these that hold important in aspect to Venus is Saturn. As it is the planet of karmic contracts, lessons, stability, commitments and longevity. When you see Saturn conjunct, opposite or square, commitment could be an uphill battle to obtain or there are obstacles and blockages on either or both sides which prevent a connection from coming together, or could cause a connection to not be sustainable. There are lesson's to be learned here on both sides. We all have free will and based on the maturity and how committed both individuals are to making it work, these things could be overcome, it will just take consistent effort and awareness from both parties. The reward can be great if both parties are committed to seeing things through, as Saturn rewards hard work and commitment. Neptune in any aspect to Venus, can cause disillusionment about the connection, as Neptune is the planet of delusions, what is hidden, and spirituality. This aspect tends to make one or both partners feel like they found their "soul mate or "twin flame". The Venus or Neptune partner or both can not see the connection or the other for who they really are, although it is nice aspect and forgiving, if one or both people are deceptive, or unhealthy for the other, it could cause a relationship to go on longer than it should, or a person to tolerate behavior that they shouldn't. Venus in aspect to Uranus in sextile, trine, or conjunction can indicate a relationship where both individuals have autonomy within the connection, each individual is respectful of one others space and freedom and there is no codependency. When Venus is opposite or square Uranus, The Venus person wants commitment and stability and the Uranus person does not. As Uranus is the planet of freedom, upheavals, and what is unconventional. The connection is not sustainable, but can be exciting and taboo...at first, until Venus want's more than Uranus is willing or capable of giving. You see Venus/Uranus hard aspects in unrequited love, situationship, sneaky links, sudden or long term affairs (married or not), friends with benefits, and on again off again connections. It is not always bad as Venus may be okay with the arrangement, or the relationship maybe unconventional in someway. It may be a polyamorous or non ethical monogamy situation. Venus/Pluto in a trine, sextile, can be a welcome transformation for the Venus person in love, and relationships, and can be healing. In a conjunction, opposition and square the Venus person is pulled toward Pluto like a moth to a flame but can also be resistant to transformation and can dislike the power that Pluto has over them. This can cause a push/pull, power struggle between both individuals. The passion, intensity, and magnetic pull is so intense Venus will sabotage, ghost, avoid, or stone wall the Pluto person, only to come back. Pluto rules fixed sign Scorpio, also the 8th house, and is the planet of sex, death, rebirth, taboo, and the shadow. It is aspecting Venus to transform Venus in some way or teach them lessons in love. To find out what the lesson is, you would have to look at the house placement of Venus.

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Problematic Aspects in Synastry 💕

These aspects have been known to cause issues immediately or down the line in a connection. This is not gloom and doom or a bad omen, but awareness can mitigate issues that may arise from having these aspects in your synastry, composite, or natal charts. Of course you want to look at the signs and house placements as well as the individual natal charts to determine the validity of the aspects listed, and no aspect can make or break a connection only the two individuals involved has this power. Synastry is a guide, it is not set in stone and we all have free will. Use your discernment.

Mars square Pluto

Mars square Chiron

Venus square Chiron

Mercury Square Mercury

Moon square Mercury

Sun square Neptune

Mars square Mars

Mars square Mercury

Venus square Uranus

Sun square Uranus (Composite)

Moon square Moon

Saturn square Venus

Saturn square Moon

Saturn square Sun

Pluto square Ascendant

Pluto square Sun

Pluto square Moon

Pluto square Mars

Pluto square Venus

Venus square North Node

Mars square North Node

Moon square North Node

Saturn square North Node

Saturn square Ascendant

Venus in 4th/8th/12th House

Mars 4th/8th/12th House

Sun in the 8th/12th House

North Node in the 8th/12th House

Partner with Mars in 5th/8th/12th House in Natal

Partner with Pluto in 1st/7th/8th/12th House in Natal

Partner with Saturn in 7th House in Natal

Partner with Moon in 7th/8th/12th House in Natal

Partner with Sun in 10th/8th/12th House in Natal

Partner with Venus in 5th/8th/12th House in Natal

Partner with Uranus in Aquarius in 11th House

Partner with Venus opposition/square Uranus in Natal

Partner with Venus opposite/square Mars in Natal

Partner with Venus conjunct Sun in Natal

Partner with Sun conjunct Moon in Natal

Partner with Moon square Saturn in Natal

Partner with Venus square Saturn in Natal

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I have had this aspect, I was Neptune, the Mars person over sexualizes or fetishizes the Neptune person, they may pursue the Neptune person, even if they are unattainable or involved with someone else, the Mars person may even be in a connection already. They just have to have Neptune, by any means. They will even resort to deception to have them. They are relentless in their pursuit. If Mars is a fire sign this can be even more polarizing. They may withhold their true motives from the Neptune person, in order to get what they want. If there are no long term aspects like Saturn or emotional bonding aspects to the Moon, this could be an affair or situationship, and the Neptune person can end up feeling used or taken advantage of, once they find out they were just a conquest for Mars. Look for Mars in the 1st, 5th, 8th or 12th houses in the synastry chart.

Tarot:

(Mars) The King of Wands/ Knight of Cups reversed.

(Neptune) The High Priestess/ Seven of Cups

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"Mars Square Neptune in Synastry can bring about challenges in understanding and expressing sexual desires and assertiveness within the relationship. There may have been circumstances or information that were not fully disclosed or understood by one partner, leading to confusion and uncertainty. The unclear boundaries surrounding sexual and assertive energies can stem from individual biases and also from potential deception or confusion.

This aspect can manifest as a tendency for one or both partners to project their own desires and expectations onto the other, making it difficult to accurately perceive and address each other's needs. There may be a sense of guilt or shame that influences the expression of sexual energy, leading to dishonesty or manipulation. However, it is crucial to overcome these challenges by cultivating honesty and transparency within oneself and the partnership." (0 to 5 orb)

Credit: https://astromatrix.org/Horoscopes/Synastry-Aspects/Mars-Square-Neptune

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Saturn square Ascendant aspect in synastry is the restriction of self expression from the the Saturn person, Saturn person wanting to change or control the persona or actions of the Ascendant.  I had this aspect with someone in the past. He was Saturn and was super critical of my looks, and how I presented myself, because the Ascendant is how we present ourselves, how we carry ourselves and has to do with our appearance. He would suggest how I should wear my makeup, my hair and even at one point suggested cosmetic surgery. This aspect can be extremely damaging to the self esteem of the Ascendant person if they already have their own issues with their appearance, or lack confidence and do not have a strong sense of self. I consider this aspect a "heartbreaking" aspect because it is a "square" and as I have explained in previous post, "how to deal with squares in synastry" squares are uphill battles and cause constant friction as well as unrest in a connection. Saturn is the planet of restriction, discipline, lessons, hard work, commitment and contracts. And when you have this planet squaring someone's Ascendant which is their identity and presentation, this means that a person will be constantly defending the right to be themselves authentically and unapologetically in a connection. This aspect is extremely toxic and karmic. Regardless of the sign and house placement, this is one for the books. The heartbreaking part is that the Ascendant person may actually start to make the changes in how they act and look to appease the Saturn person and win their approval, only to face another needed upgrade or modification by Saturn. It will never be enough there will always be something wrong or something that the Ascendant needs to fix, work on or improve. The Saturn person is merely projecting, the truth is that inside they are insecure, intimidated and do not feel good enough for the Ascendant person. They may be secretly jealous of how outgoing, confident or admired the Ascendant person is, and wish that they themselves possessed these qualities. Instead of supporting the Ascendant they instead choose to nitpick at them, point out flaws and be hyper critical to take them down a notch or knock them off their pedestal, they feel like if they point out their flaws, this will cause insecurity and keep the Ascendant in the connection and also keep the Ascendant under control. This is the ultimate hater, sleeping with the enemy aspect. This aspect is very similar to Saturn square North Node, except it is worse because with North Node they are critical of your life path and with this aspect they are critical of YOU. If Saturn is in Capricorn, Virgo or Scorpio this is going to be exceptionally hard. Because Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, Virgo in Saturn is a hypercritical perfectionist, and Scorpio in Saturn is toxic and unapologetic. When the Saturn person does not get their way or the Ascendant finally decides they have had a enough and stands on business. Saturn will punish the Ascendant by stonewalling, giving silent treatment, blocking or refusing to support them. Especially if they are married or the Ascendant is financially dependent on them. The lesson in this aspect for the Ascendant, be true to yourself and honor your authenticity. You should not have to change who you are for someone to accept and love you. Love and acceptance does not come with conditions. The only person you need to be good enough for is yourself. Do not let anyone have control over your personal autonomy. Saturn cannot love and accept you for who you are, because Saturn does not love and accept themselves. The lesson for Saturn, people are not projects, you cannot control anyone, lighten up, stop projecting your insecurities onto others and deal with your issues, you are avoiding inner work (shadow work) by finding fault in other people. ....(To be continued)

Stay Lifted,

Madison

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