#switch!robert

Robert was grumbling to himself as he sat in the office on dispatch duty. Dispatching? More like babysitting…The Z-Team has a tendency to goof off or wreak havoc at the worst possible times. It was like looking after a daycare full of power-wielding toddlers. It can be nearly impossible to keep them on the straight and narrow…

But right now…Only one of the troublemakers came to mind: Sonar. The half-bat conman obsessed with crypto and being smarter than anyone else, had gotten high during his break again. Naturally, anyone that gets high on shift has to go to the infirmary to get checked out. So, Robert sent him to do just that. He knew it was a bad idea to trust Sonar to go to the infirmary on his own…But god dammit, he had no choice. He has work to do, and he’s not equipped to deal with someone during a high. 

Oh, how hard the irony would end up hitting him…

“Hey Bobby.” That familiar voice spoke up. 

Robert looked up at Sonar, surprised he was already back. “Hey…Did you make it to the infirmary?” He asked, taking off his headphones and muting the call momentarily. 

Sonar nodded and sat down. “Yeah…I did.” He admitted to him. 

Robert blinked, staring at him. “...And? What did they say?” 

Sonar shrugged his shoulders. “Well…They said I was well enough to be discharged.” Sonar admitted. 

Robert stared at him with raised eyebrows. Well enough to be discharged. “...Are you serious?” Robert asked him. 

Sonar nodded. “Yup, quite serious.” Sonar admitted. 

Robert gently placed the headphones onto the table and held his head with his hands. “And you have no way to get home…do you?” He asked. 

Sonar shook his head. “Nope.” He popped the P. 

Robert let out a long sigh. God dammit… “Great…” Was all that left his mouth. 

“Sorry, Robbie…I’m gonna have to stay until it wears off.” Sonar explained, chuckling. “Cause I may be an idiot, but I’m not stupid enough to go home in this state.” He told him. 

Robert tried to hide the slight smile that filled his cheeks from that comment. In Robert’s mind, he was both an idiot, AND stupid. And to make matters worse, this isn’t the first time he’s gotten high at work. And knowing him…It certainly wouldn’t be the last. 

“Fine.” Robert muttered. “But you’d better be on your best behaviour while I work. You understand?” Robert warned, pointing to him like a Dad disciplining his child. 

Sonar chuckled. “Sorry, no promises.” He admitted. 

Robert’s finger pulled back into a fist…before he dropped it with a resigned sigh. Smartass. “At least you’re honest about it…” He mumbled. 

Sonar smiled more and pulled out his phone for a moment. With that, Robert put his headphones back on. “Sorry, team. I’m back. Sonar had been discharged and showed up in the office.” Robert explained. 

“Wait, discharged?” Malevola asked. 

“Who the fuck discharged him?!” Chase reacted. 

“Yeah, and on what grounds?” Punch-up spoke up. 

“They said everything’s stable.” Sonar spoke up in the voice call. “And they said to head home and make sure someone keeps an eye on me…Which is gonna be Bobbie.” Sonar spoke up in the group call. 

Robert sighed. “Yeah…Great.” 

“Hey, don’t feel too bad, Robert. You’re gonna have company for a while.” Flambae spoke up. 

Sonar smirked. “Yeah…I’m gonna be the best company he’s ever had.” He declared. 

“Don’t do anything stupid, Sonar.” Invisigal ordered. 

“Yeah I know…I’m not planning on it…yet.” Sonar teased, smirking with his bat teeth showing. 

Punch-up could be heard chuckling a little. “How high are ya, bud?” 

Sonar laughed a bit. “Oh you know…the usual amount.” Sonar responded. 

Punch-up stuttered. “That-” 

“Sonar, I don’t mean to be that guy…But the usual amount is zero.” Flambae told him. 

“Oh, then…Very high.” Sonar admitted. 

“How many lines did you do this time?” Malevola asked. 

“Hehe…A little more than one.” He admitted. “I uhhh…may have made an extra long line this time.” He said, sounding proud of it. 

“Oh fuckin’ hell!” Punch-up reacted. 

Robert looked at Sonar with horror. “You’re joking me…” Robert looked ready to punch the guy. “Why would you do that?!” Robert raised his voice. 

“Cause I was stressed! Fuck off!” Sonar argued back. 

“If you were stressed, then you could’ve talked to me, or Chase, or someone else on the team!” Robert shot back. 

“HA! Talk to you, Mr. Walking-ball-of-nerves?” Sonar teased. 

“That’s besides the point.” Robert told him. 

Chase chuckled. “I hate to say it, but Batguy’s got a point.” He admitted. 

“Chase, this doesn’t involve you.” Robert argued. 

“Oh really? Are you sure about that, fucker?” Chase shot back. 

“Chase, it’s not the time!” Robert argued. 

“It appears the fathers are fighting again.” Phenomaman spoke up, making Prism and Punch-up laugh. 

“Y-Yeah, hahaha! Th-They kind of do t-talk like-...Yeah…” Waterboy spoke up. 

Golem also chuckled a bit. “Should we leave them alone?” Golem spoke up. 

“Nah, they’ll hash it out.” Sonar responded. “Watching Robert get mad in 4K is kinda hilarious.”

Robert quickly glared at Sonar, which only made the batguy laugh more. “Guys, he just glared at me like a fuckin’ Dad.” Sonar admitted. 

Invisigal could be heard stifling a laugh, with Punch-up and Flambae also chuckling a little. 

“Robert, you’ve been a ball of nerves ever since the day I met you. Don’t you give me that shit.” Chase argued. 

Robert grumbled. “Please, just drop it.” Robert grumbled. 

“Wait, was he actually?” Sonar asked. 

“Hell yeah, he was! Robert used to overthink everything. If I had a nickel for everytime I’ve had to calm this man down because of his overthinking, I’d be able to retire tomorrow.” Chase explained. 

Robert grumbled. “Chase, please.” He hid his face in his hands. 

“Awww, was Robert a little scaredy kid?” Flambae teased. 

“H-Hey, I was t-too, actually…Hehe.” Waterboy admitted. 

“Don’t tell me he had a fear of monsters as well.” Punch-up asked with a laugh. 

Chase chuckled. “Nah, he was a little too old for that.” He admitted. 

“Guys…I swear to Go-aAH!” Robert yelped as his chair was tipped back. 

“You okay?” Chase asked. 

“The fuck was that?” Flambae spoke up. 

Almost immediately, Robert’s eyes fell onto Sonar, with an evil little grin on his face. “I can think of one monster he might still be scared of.” He admitted wiggling his fingers at him. 

Robert widened his eyes. “Huh? What-!” Robert jumped and let out a high-pitched squeal. Oooh no, this isn’t good. 

“What the fuck was that?” Invisigal asked.

“Looks like Robbie here is a little squealer.” Sonar teased, going for his sides and ribs right away. 

Robert yelped and tried in vain to cover up his middle. “S-Sonar-!” Robert tried fighting him off. “Don’t you dahare!” A stupid smile began filling his face, as a wheeze left his mouth before he could stop it. 

“What the hell am I hearing right now?” Punch-up asked. 

“Wait, is he laughing?” Malevola spoke next, giggling. 

“Heh, I think he is. What’s so funny, Robbo?” Flambae spoke up.

“Sonar…what are you doing?” Chase asked, sounding slightly defeated. 

Sonar was smirking, moving way too fast for Robert to catch up with. “Oh, just tickling him.” He admitted. One of Sonar’s hands was still gripping the back of the chair, while his other hand was tickling the dispatcher wherever he could reach.

“Okay…Why?” Chase asked, confused. “For science.” Sonar responded. “Laughter can lower stress hormones and boost the mood at once.” Sonar explained. “Basically, I’m trying to calm his nerves.” 

“With tickling…” Chase sighed and chuckled a little. “Of all the ways to lessen stress…” Chase could be heard snickering into his earpiece. 

Even with both hands, Robert couldn’t stop his fingers in time. A blush was filling his cheeks in a matter of seconds…And giggles began bubbling out of him almost immediately. “NonoNOhohoho! GahaHAA! Let mehehe goho!” Robert reacted, squirming against the orange chair. 

“I’m sorry, Robert’s ticklish?!” Punch-up spoke up. “Since fuckin’ when?!” 

“Oh my god! Hahaha!” Prism reacted. “This is gold! Go Sonar go!” Prism cheered. 

“Awww…Th-This is k-kinda cuhuhute.” Waterboy spoke up, giggling alongside him. 

“Give him a few tickles for me too, okay?” Malevola spoke up.

“Dohohon’t encourage hihim!” Robert yelled, trying to curl up as best he could in the chair. 

Sonar could be heard laughing alongside him. “Too late, buddy! This is way too funny to pass up.” Sonar reacted with a big smile on his face. 

Chase could be heard laughing. “Hey, hey Sonar: Do me a favor, will ya? Tickle his belly for me.” Chase asked him. 

“WaitNO!” Robert yelled out, his blush deepening slightly. 

“I’ll just lower his volume for the group-” Chase lowered Robert’s volume just as Robert let out a loud shriek.

“GAAHAHAHA! STAHAHAP IHIT! SONARSTAHAP! HEHELP MEHEHEHEEE!” He begged. 

“Should we help him?” Golem spoke up.

“Eh, don’t worry. He’s in good hands here.” Sonar teased. “Well, good hand, actually.” He added, referring to him tickling Robert with one hand. 

“You’re telling me…This pain in the ass has been ticklish this whole time…” Flambae spoke up. 

“Hehehe! Why? Thinking about trying it out?” Prism asked. 

“Oh, you bet I am.” Flambae teased. 

Robert suddenly threw his head back with another shriek, followed by a fit of cackles. “NAHAT THEHEHEHERE! HAHAHAHAA!” Robert shouted. 

“Holy fuck!” Punch-up reacted, laughing. “And Bob says I’M the loud one!” 

“You still are…But Robert is a close second.” Coupe spoke up, suddenly making herself known on the call. 

“Eyy! Hey Coupe!” Punch-up reacted. “Ya hearin’ this shite?” He asked. 

“Yup…hear it loud and clear.” Coupe admitted. 

“Good thing I turned down the volume when I did…” Chase admitted. “You all would’ve lost your hearing.” He admitted. 

“FUHUCK OFF CHAHAHASE!” Robert shouted at him. 

“Hey now, no need to get all smart with me. Otherwise, I might tell Sonar about your little snort button.” Chase mentioned. 

Sonar widened his eyes. “I’m sorry, what?!” He asked, before going right for his belly button. 

Robert snorted almost immediately, causing his blush to deepen even more. “FUHUHUCK!” He snorted again. 

Flambae broke down laughing. “Oho my god, he snorts too?!” 

“Awwww…” Prism teased. “How cute!” 

Punch-up giggled a little. “Miss Piggy joined the call.” Punch-up teased, making the others laugh. 

Robert covered his mouth in an attempt to hide his snorts. “Shut up…” He mumbled, slightly blushing.

“Oh, he’s trying to hide his snorts.” Sonar mentioned. 

“We can still hear them, Robert~” Flambae teased. “You can’t hide your little noises forever~” 

Sonar could be heard gasping. “Flambae, you’ve officially made him blush.” Sonar reacted.

Flambae laughed a bit. “Did I? Didn’t know that was possible.” Flambae teased.  

“I have heard Robert let out shorter laughs or wheezes on occasion, but I have never heard him laugh this hard before.” Phenomaman mentioned. 

“Yeah, this is a rare moment.” Invisigal admitted. 

Punch-up chuckled. “God, this is great. I can even hear Waterboy giggling on his end.” Punch-up mentioned. 

“Ihi can’t hehelp ihihit…Hihis laugh is contagiohohous…” Waterboy could be heard giggling quietly, as if trying to keep his voice down. 

“Awww, ya hear that Robert? Ya got a fan!” Punch-up reacted. 

“Alright, I might have to wrap it up.” Sonar said. “He’s getting a little too red.” He admitted. 

“Aww, really?” Punch-up asked. 

“Right when it was getting good…” Malevola spoke up. 

“Yeah, good call. We wouldn’t want the ticklish bastard to fall asleep on us.” Chase admitted. 

Sonar moved the chair upright, leaving Robert in a disheveled mess against the chair. He was breathing heavily, clearing his throat and trying to fix his shirt. “Holy shit…” He muttered. 

“You alright, Robert?” Chase asked with a smirk. “Shut up…” Robert muttered, earning a laugh from Chase. 

“Well? Did the tickle bat help your stress?” Malevola asked. 

Robert was still breathing. “Ho-...Hold on…*huff*...” He tried to pull himself together. 

“Good lord, did ya kill ‘em or somethin’?” Punch-up asked. 

“No, I don’t think so.” Sonar admitted. “Maybe I went a little hard on him, but…” 

Robert turned to look at him. “You- *huff* You think?...” He muttered back. 

“Yeah…Sorry about that.” Sonar patted his back lightly. 

“You might need to get him some water.” Coupe spoke up.

“Or something to help his throat.” Invisigal added. 

Sonar nodded. “Will do.” Sonar walked off to the vending machine, before getting a gatorade. He walked back to the room, handing it to Robert. “Here you go.” 

Robert opened up the gatorade and drank back a bunch of it quickly. “F…Fuck…” He muttered, swallowing one last gulp down before placing it onto the table. 

“You’ll be fine, I think.” Sonar declared, patting his shoulder. Suddenly, a yelp from Sonar with a slight bottle sound could be heard over their speaker. 

“Uhhh…What was that?” Malevola asked. 

“Revenge…” Robert responded with a smirk. 

Sonar grumbled. “Gatorade…On my suit…” He muttered. 

Flambae wheezed and tittered. “Did Robert just throw gatorade at you?!” Flambae asked. 

“Yyyyup.” Sonar admitted. 

“Yeah…And you deserved it.” Robert admitted. 

Chase chuckled. “You better now, Robert?” He asked. 

Robert grumbled a little. “Chase…When it’s break time…I am making you regret ever speaking.” Robert warned. 

Punch-up snickered a little. “Oh no…” 

“Ohoho! you’re fucked now, grandpa.” Invisigal reacted. 

Chase grumbled. “Shut the fuck up. You’re not getting anywhere close, ya hear me?” Chase warned.

The sound of the headphones being placed down, followed by a creaking chair could be heard through the background. “Robert? Robert, what-?” Chase gasped as he heard the door open. “FuckFUCKROBERT!” Chase made an ungodly shriek as his earpiece fell out of his ear while being tackled to the ground and absolutely destroyed by Robert on the ground. Chase’s laughter could be heard quite well, despite where the earpiece had landed, leaving the others laughing and cheering on Robert through the phone call. 

Note to self: Never talk about a co-worker’s weaknesses without expecting some payback. 

----------------- By the way: I have a couple new fandoms I'm willing to write for! -The Amazing Digital Circus -Pragmata -Dispatch