#swiftwrites

who said i love you first? Noah. He tells her on the first snowfall of the winter while they’re cuddled up on the couch and he’s trying to keep her warm. He looks out the window and tells her that it’s snowing and when she doesn’t reply he tells her he loves her (it’s the first time he’s ever said it to anyone).

who laughs when the other trips? They both laugh but always make sure to take care of the other afterwards.

who pays the bills? Both. They split the bills in half.

which one makes a bigger deal around the holidays? Elaine is the one who makes a big deal about decorations and presents but Noah is in his prime during Christmas/New Year’s so he actively joins her.

who’s more clumsy? Elaine, especially when she’s trying to reach something and 

who checks their daily horoscope? Noah because he always wants to make sense of his mood when it changes. Like, “oh, that’s why I’m so annoyed today.”

who sings louder in the car? Elaine but Noah chimes in when Christmas songs start playing.

who leaves the cap off the toothpaste? Elaine because she’s always itching and in a hurry to leave the house and sometimes forgets to put the cap back on. 

who is more up to date in pop culture? Elaine! Noah pays too much attention to his History and Philosophy books but occasionally he’ll ask Elaine what something means.

who insists on going to see the newest movies? Elaine, obviously, and she always has to drag Noah out to see them.

who cries when the abused animal commercials come on? Noah wouldn’t admit it but he does. Elaine catches him sometimes but never says anything.

who’s the lighter sleeper? Noah. The softest noise or movement will wake him up.

who does the grocery shopping? They do their shopping separately. Mainly because Noah is that picky person who has to have the right brand of cereal and insists he can tell the difference between the brands.

always wins when they play Trivia Crack  – Noah because he has enough time to actually spend playing the game

laughs when their partner trips on something  – They both laugh, but Elaine laughs out loud while Noah laughs on the inside

would drop ice down the back of the other’s shirt as a joke  – ELAINE and she’s always like: “now you’re really live up to your nickname, Frosty!” and Noah just scowls and goes back to his Philosophy assignments 

spoils the ending of books/movies  – Elaine spoils every single movie so Noah spoils every book

always posts a picture of the other as their MCM or WCW  – Elaine!!!! Noah thinks it’s really annoying because she always uses the most unflattering pictures

eats the last piece of cake in the fridge before the other can have it – Noah. He labels their names on food boxes when they first start living together so Elaine doesn’t eat his food but he always eats her food anyways

obnoxiously celebrates Monday Punday every week  – I don’t even have an explanation for this but it’s 100% Elaine

makes loving hack posts on the other’s Facebook/Instagram/Tumblr/Twitter etc  – BOTH OF THEM DO THIS ALL THE TIME and Noah always posts something really profound and Elaine just posts something like “I luv Elaine”

has to beat their partner in every game  – okay look it’s definitely Noah but sometimes he lets Elaine win (especially when he’s in a bad mood) because her smile and giddiness actually cheers him up

keeps their partner up half the night talking about random stuff  – Elaine. Noah wants to tell her to shut up at first but he begins to find it endearing and stays up voluntarily just to hear her speak

 Deadpool had barely registered the girl sleeping beside him, her body inches away from his. Had she not moved to brush the dust off the side of her face he wouldn’t have noticed her. Wade pulled the blanket over her ear, trying his hardest not to wake her up.

  It had been almost a year since the Merc had saved six year old Finn from her abusive father. The google wearing child had broke in and had never left, not that Deadpool would have wanted her too anyway. Looking past her obsession with knives, stabbing things, and zoo animals, He’d begun to fall in love with the child; even if she did have a crazy cat.

  As the suited man stared at her from his side of the bed he smiled under his mask. While he objected to her being in his bed, Wade liked it when Finn was asleep; She couldn’t stab him, she wasn’t likely to kill him, and she didn’t hog the blankets. As another flurry of plaster came down Finn opened her eyes slowly and fought back a yawn.

“Neighbors?” Deadpool lifted his arm so she could get closer.  The Merc with the Mouth waited as she scooted against him. He thought about removing his mask but decided against it,  he had a job first thing in the morning and wouldn’t have the time to figure out where the cat had hidden it.

“They’re so loud….” Finn whimpered, rubbing her eye. Another puff of plaster fell from the ceiling, this time landing in her red hair. She shook her head sending pieces in different directions. The child wrapped her arms around the others chest. “And the sky keeps falling…”

“Then let’s be louder.” Deadpool grabbed the revolver on his nightstand. “Cover your ears, kid.” He waited for her to do so before aiming the gun at the ceiling, and firing two bullets. The apartment fell silent as the duo looked up at the newly formed hole.  

  "Did you just….“ Finn started as she put her hands down. Sure she had wanted them to quiet down, but she didn’t want them dead! ‘Would they be charged for murder? Would they go to prison with Will? Would Bandanna go to Cat Jail? ’  Her green eyes began to water as she feared the worse.

"Probably.” He put the revolver back on the nightstand before glancing back at the child, who was staring at him with a shocked expression on her face. “ I don’t have X-ray vision Finn, I can’t see through floors!”

The sounds of screams and a door slamming above them calmed Finn’s nerves. She snuggled back under the blankets, grinning at her guardian. Though Deadpool lacked in hygiene, was extremely dangerous, and confused her to no end; he made life more fun.

“Hey, Dad?” Finn asked after a few silent moments.

“Yeah Finn?” Deadpool turned his head to face her. He had a feeling he knew what she was going to say, 3 little words he loved to hear. Whether it was the actual 3 words or some variation he enjoyed hearing her say it, it made him feel special.

“I’m sorry for the knife.”

“I love you t-! The knife?” He looked at her confused, what was she talking about? Why was she apologizing for a knife? Deadpool suddenly became aware of a sharp pain in his chest. Looking down he realized there was a knife penetrating through his suit covered chest. Blood seeped through the wound and onto his bed. Pushing her away he screamed, “OH MY- FINN!”

Wade pulled the knife out. It was a jagged 4 inch blade, Finns favorite kind, and coated in a warm layer of his blood. She, for whatever reason, had stabbed him while he was asleep and chose to remain in the bed with him.  Deadpool let out a long chain of curses and profane expressions as the stab healed itself. When it was healed he looked up and saw Finn still lying there, a neutral expression on her face.

“Finn.” He locked eyes with her.

“Yes?”

“Get the Fuck out my bed.”

“A'ight.” Finn got off the bed and walked to the door. “Dad.”

“The Hell do you want?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too kid, but you’re still kicked off the bed.”

“I take it back then.” Finn walked out the room, allowing the cat entry when she opened the door.

“YOU STABBED ME IN THE CHEST AND EXPECT ME TO LET YOU STAY IN HERE?” Deadpool watched as the cat jumped on his bed, taking its normal spot on the pillow beside him.

“Goodnight~” Finns door closed as she walked in her room.

Deadpool listened as she got back into her own bed. Then with a smile, he set the knife on his nightstand and rolled over. He came face-to-face with the cat. “At least I still have you…”

The old Tabby hissed, slapping Deadpool’s nose with a small paw. The man, sensing a scratching in his future, pushed the cat and its pillow to the far side of the bed.  This action exposed a small picture that had been hidden by the cat. It was of Finn and Will, but with the latter cut out. Wade hadn’t seen it since he use it to locate Will last year, after he ripped the man out the picture. The cat, who enjoyed hiding things around the apartment, had shoved it in the pillowcase.

A Category 4 hurricane is destroying Bar Harbor. Trees are snapped in half and pieces of white picket fences are picked up by the wind, only to be thrown half a mile from their home. The lights of his small apartment flicker off, the only light now coming from the constant crashes of lightning as they imitate strobe lights. A crash of thunder awakes him easily and he sits up, rubbing his groggy eyes as they adjust to the darkness. Noah stumbles out of his bed, almost colliding with the door frame. There’s no use in getting any sleep, so he decides on a hot cup of black coffee to keep him up. “Perhaps now is as good as any time to catch up on Philosophy reading,” he mumbles to himself, his fingers drum the counter. The water begins to boil just as there’s a knock on the door. 

Writing challenge: Shuffle Playlist and write based on first song it plays.

Song: The goat song from Hoodwinked (WTF)

Finn couldn't even remember why she had come up this mountain in the first place. She was pretty sure it was some sort of volcano and the people that lived on it were crazy. To her surprise most of the houses were empty except for the one at the very top, an elderly man lived up there alone.

The man had been sitting on his wooden house porch, rocking away in a rocking chair with a banjo in his lap. Finn knocked on one of the beams supporting the porches roof, "Uh hello, sir?"

The man jumped, frightened by the girls voice. He didn't have many visitors on this mountain top he called home, and certainly not young girls alone. He blinked a few times, in disbelief of such a sight. How had she even managed to make the two days climb by herself, and without any supplies?

Finn took in the man's appearance as he stared at her. He wore black thick framed glasses, and looked like he hadn't shaved for a few weeks. His shirt was stained and had quite a few holes around the collar, his pants had holes in both of the knees. He was unkempt and the odor he emitted rivaled a skunks spray.

"Hello sir, I need help." Finn spoke in a cautious voice, realizing the danger of her situation now that she had a good look at him. "Where is everyone?"

The man leaned forward in his chair, "I'm the only one left." He sang, strumming the banjo. "No one else lives here, no one else lives near."

"Where did they all go?" Finn raised an eyebrow, "And why are you singing?"

The man stood up and resumed his playing, "Thirty-seven years ago, a witch done put a spell on me."

Finn watched in horror as the man kept strumming his instrument and singing as he moved inside the house. "This man is as crazy as a car on catnip!"

She looked above the door at the house plate, 'Raccoon' it read on bronze letters. "Well, that explains the glasses at least." She walked into the house, a knife pulled at her side in case he tried anything.

"Be prepared, Be prepared, and unless you got a spare!" He was still singing that wretched song as he set up the houses mine cart system.

Finn was forced to listen to his catterwalling for another ten minutes before she lost it, "WILL YOU SHUT UP, I'LL FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT MYSELF!" She stormed out house in a huff. "Stupid old man with his damn singing and banjo."

(AU JOIN FOURTEEN) FUCKFICKKFI. ME LMAO

Awww :3 Okay, let’s see!